Man stabbed, GTA IV linked in a sort of way

3:01 PM on 04.29.2008   |   Jim Sterling

39 comments

The BBC is reporting on the story of a man who was stabbed during the wait for Grand Theft Auto IV's midnight launch in Croydon. The 23-year old was attacked several times by a hooded man in the line. Strangely, the victim did not call for emergency services and was found a little further on from the store where it happened.

The man was treated for his wounds and has been allowed home. So far, the attacker has not been found. 

Of course, with this happening in line for Grand Theft Auto IV, one can only imagine the controversy that is going to happen. The BBC of course, makes it a focal point of the story, but is at least subtle about it. I dread to think what The Daily Mail will do when it gets hold of the news. The thing is, GTA IV is not the operating word here. The important clue is the word Croydon.

Have you ever been to Croydon? I have. Many times. It's very close by, in fact. I've downed a few bottles at the karaoke bar down there (at least before it changed its name to Pop World and turned sh*t) as well as the really gaudy bar that has poles in it, but never any pole dancers. Anyway, the point is that if you're in Croydon at 11pm, you're kind of asking to be stabbed.

I say don't ban GTA IV, ban Croydon. It'll cut down on street crime a lot more, I promise you that.

[Thanks Wardrox]