Seduce a SuicideGirl is a new iPhone App where you'll be playing a choose your own style adventure in order to make out with Zoli Suicide. Your goal is to chat up Zoli in a comic book shop and if you're good at bullsh*tting your way through the conversation, you'll get to have a "17+ make-out session" with her. Pick the wrong answers and she'll humiliate you.
Yup, this is a thing that is happening. If you win the game, you can make out with your ... iPhone. The App is available now on iTunes for $0.99.
I don't understand how this will work or how this is appealing. The only way this would be appealing at all is if you could make out with a man horse, like Rey and Colette demonstrate in the gallery. Seriously, what the f**k.
LAUNCH GALLERY (12 IMAGES)
Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy.
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And when they release the inevitable other apps with different girls: bought!
Because making out with my pillow is getting old.
Some of the resonses are wierd :-s
No really, I need to know. I kinda grew out of all that a few years back and I just thought of them as a fad at the time, but hey...I'm no longer down with 'the kids', so what do I know, huh?
Sounds kinda, oh, I don't know...pathetic?
Horse make out ultimate frenzy brigade would have been the better choice.
...Then I'm not interested.
I Was thinking the same thing. I still distinctly remember the end of 2001 me and a bunch of guys discovered Suicide Girls on the internet and ooo'd and ahh'd for a bit, then the novelty wore off and that was it. I had no idea people were still giving a shit about them. But, I guess it's porn, where's it really going to go?
@Stevil,
I'm with you guys. In college days I thought they were hot (tattoos on a woman still are) but looking at this...I dunno, I think I might be a little gay now. Plus every suicide girl I see now just looks like a total cunt.
And then, an iPhone game based on trying to "make out" with one of them.
Paaaaaaaaaaaa-thet-ic!
*swoon* Zoli Suicide <3
Yeah, pretty much...
"Heavy petting"?
You sir, have won at internets for the day.
Meh.