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So recently my husband and I decided to jump on the next gen console bandwagon. After acquiring a cheap copy of Guitar Hero for my archaic PS2, I was finally able to convince him that you could have fun playing games on something other than his beloved PC.
As we surfed the Internet looking for good deals on systems while discussing the pros and cons inherent in each, we eventually reached the conclusion that it would make the most sense for us to buy a Wii. With this realization my last finger-hold on hardcore gaming died.
Before this turns into some fanboyish rant about the merits of Wii, please listen to my sad tale to see where this reluctant acceptance of my fate is coming from. A brief glance at my gaming history will undoubtedly reveal that I never was a true “hardcore” gamer in the sense that I had a social life and my diet didn't consist primarily of hot pockets and Ramen (excluding my college days, but that was something else entirely).
What I'm trying to say is that the stereotype of what constitutes a hardcore gamer that we all have in the back of our minds despite knowing how untrue it really is, yeah that wasn't me. In addition I've never been exceptionally skilled at playing or ever finishing games.
In a lot of ways, I've always been more of a default gamer. I didn't even become aware of the distinction between casual and hardcore until the market of what came to be called casual games exploded a few years back and suddenly gamers everywhere were scrambling to keep themselves from being lumped in with the Bejeweled playing soccer moms who had suddenly joined their ranks.
Suddenly videogames weren't just for those who owned specific gaming machines, but for everyone and anyone. Realizing that these newcomers were leaching off our “cool” real gamers banded together and quickly stigmatized their casual brethren. After all, reaching the highest level in Farm Town (or any other Facebook application) shouldn't qualify you to associate with true gamers who had mastered the mysteries of Hyrule. This is where the hate for the term casual gamer stems from, for me at least.
For a while I managed to convince myself that I was still in the cool kids camp. Even as I got older and settled into family life, my gaming time diminishing to non-existent, I was firmly convinced that I was still part of the real gamers. Even as my limited gaming time lead to the discovery of browser based games that only needed a minimal time investment and as I watched myself grow further and further detached from the new releases on systems I didn't own that I would likely never play I still kept telling myself that I at least wasn't part of the casual gamers. Oh how very wrong I was.
Now, I need to point out that I have nothing against the Wii or it's library of games. There is nothing inherently wrong with the system that owning one would make me less of a gamer. Rather the reasoning behind the purchase is what drove me to write this piece. See my son will eventually be old enough to want to play games, he already loves irrecoverably messing up the settings on my PC. While I would love nothing more than to rush out and buy a PS3 and even a few of the outstanding RPGs that have been coming out recently then lock myself away for a few months, that type of gaming is no longer an option for me.
Rather, we needed a system that had kid friendly games that we could all play together as a family, even if the games were incredibly simple and not graphically impressive with a musical score that could bring tears to your eyes.
True, I still have a hefty backlog of games to play on my PS2 and PC and maybe someday I'll actually get to do that, but for now my priorities are no longer on being a cool gamer. For now, I have to focus on being a cool mom, and a wife who can beat all the boss battles in Guitar Hero, while still making cookies for the company Christmas party.
While I still hate the idea of being a casual gamer, I love my husband and son enough to give up the last vestige of street cred I thought I had so that we can spend a whole evening playing together as a family. It's a bitter sweet realization, but I suppose I'll come to terms with it eventually.
Contest:
6:20 PM on 12.22.2009
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I read a story roughly a year ago about CPS picking up a WoW-addict mom's kids, who were malnourished and living in extremely unsanitary conditions due to neglect. I wanted to cry.
You're going to look back on the time you devoted to them much more fondly than the time you would have lost irrevocably to Too Human. :D
Plus, as your kids move into adolescence, and you are accepting of their gaming habits -- you will be the hardcore mom in their eyes (and in the eyes of their jealous friends). Well played.
I do hate that gamers tend to stigmatize, pigeonhole and classify other gamers... but we all do it I guess. :(
We all game differently at different points in our lives... I certainly gamed differently prior to retiring from the workforce and acquiring the wonderful bonus of spare time! Personally I think it's incredibly awesome that you chose to include your family in your gaming hobby... rather than trying to find spare bits of time on your own for a solitary hobby. I'm quite sure that you'll not only be creating absolutely wonderful childhood memories for your son, but also memories to look back on and smile about with your husband.
Later on, you may well move in another direction for gaming... but for now - what an awesome wife and mother you are!!!
The PS3 ( and 360 both ) has plenty of "casual" affairs for me to justify my selfishness in getting it over the Wii. No disrespect to the Wii, which I happen to love a lot, I just think the Wii is best when in the company of the others. By itself, its weaknesses become all to apparent. For Example: The amount of amazing quality software to come out, which is trickle here and there, is not even an issue because I have my PS3/360 to fall back on.
In my opinion, I believe your decision, while parental and logical, was rushed.Then again that's me. Great blog,Zodiac. I also think you rock.
@Gamesareart, Occams electric toothbrush, and Lil Jorsche, Thanks guys, I feel slightly better about it now.
@Elsa, it is sad that even amongst our peers we're classified and put into separate groups, but I guess everyone just wants to be slightly more 1337 than the next guy. Eventually, I'll get to play my RPG's again.
@Y0j1mb0, While we did kinda rush to pick the Wii we also both have gaming PC's for the MMO's we play together so hypothetically if I had the time and income I could play graphically better games so it isn't like I gave up everything. Besides, I'm still holding out hope for my PS3 someday down the road.
I do both! If my son (someday when my wife and I have the funds) wants to play Boom Blox one day and God of War the next, I'll happily enjoy both of them.
All but video games are enjoyed almost universally by everybody. All but four have been around for so long they never picked up a specific adjective to describe their fans (except for maybe Geek/Nerd if you're a bigger fan than most.)
If I jumped into a time machine and went 20 years into the future and asked somebody if they were a gamer, they'd probably say "Uh, yah, I play games. If that's what you mean." Unsatisfied with that answer, I would go ahead 100 years where they'd probably say "HISS! HEW-MAN! HEW-MAN! GET PEST CONTROL!" And then, when I get thrown into the human pound I would ask a real human if he/she was a gamer. They'd probably ask me what the fuck a gamer was before killing me and eating my nutrient-fat corpse.
I put way more thought into that than is probably healthy.
Stop looking at me like that!
This is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with any of your logic. And I don't like to call myself a gamer, anyway. I prefer being a fan. But, labels are what they are.
Still, you do have the cool mom thing going on. :D
You're getting the console that you feel will best serve your family. Hardcore parenting! Like I said in the forums though, the Wii isn't a bad system, there's more than just casual games to be had there.
I actually got a Wii for Christmas a few years ago while I was in college, and my sister was home then too. My whole family played Wii for the longest time...and of course when I had to go back to school, I felt genuinely sad because it was the first time we had all done something together in a while. I even got my mother to play, she who stole my Gameboy to play Tetris and that stopped after a few months. I've since gotten her into Peggle and Bejeweled and all, and I'm trying to get her to try more games, like Plants VS Zombies or Gyromancer. My idea is if you can get people hooked on something easy to pick up and learn, then they're that much more closer to playing the "real" games like you and me would than someone who's completely new to gaming. It's a crazy idea and it probably isn't being executed well, but it's something all the same.
Yeah, I'd like to teach my future son or daughter to master a jump HK, HP, Hadouken, Metsu Hadoken combo for Ryu on Street Fighter 5 or 6, or whatever. But if he/she wants to play Wii Sports 4 in the same breath, who am I to stop them?
I hate when gamers define themselves as hardcore gamers. I've been playing games since I was 4 (way back in 1989). I do enjoy casual games as much as the "hardcore" ones. I like both Wii sports and Left 4 Dead. Does that make me any less credible? Do gamers even have cred?
What I'd like to see are games blogs/sites to give a casual perspective on gaming current events. So many articles/podcasts bitch about things like regenerating health and shoehorning multiplayer modes etc. But we only get this "hardcore" side of it. What I'd like to see a casual perspective on these type of issues.
And again, great write up.
Along with being able download the best N64 and SNES games, many great titles come out on WiiWare that can be considered hardcore.
I think a game in it's purest form is one that sets you up with the rules and challenges and then lets you play it. So don't let anyone say you aren't a gamer. You just don't need all the dialogue and pretty visual effects to like a game.
Of course, there are games that i own that are not for "casual gaming", mostly All half life, L4D, TF2, and some other classics, but you know?
I finally bought the orange box last month, because i had no money back then. And you know?
I haven't had time to freaking INSTALL the thing.
That moment, i realized, my videogaming days, as i knew them, were gone. =(
--
good thing, this weekend some pals come over and we're gonna play rock band, mario wii, muscle march and other multiplayer stuff! :D
I was sort of in the same boat as you, in the middle between 'casual' and 'hardcore', and after the SNES days, I really took a departure. I didn't get any new systems and didn't have a good PC so now and then I'd get to play at a friend's house so I kept my 'cred' so to speak, but I've long since given up on being able to play all the games I want, even if many of them I could.
Gaming use to be a big focus on my life, but it's now just a minor hobby. I try to get in on 'hardcore' games when I can but I don't dedicate myself to mastering them anymore. I'm ok with it. I love Plants versus Zombies, and play some Borderlands, ODST, CoD:MW2 when I can at a friend's house, but they're just time passers. Not like the addictive gaming I use to do. Oh look at me rant out a blog post in response to yours, let's keep this shorter than it could be. TL;DR version:
Excellent post! I'm happy to hear how things have worked out for you and glad you've got your priorities straight. Your kid will thank you, and you will probably thank yourself. Life doesn't wait, but games can. There will always be another game to play, but not another life to live, or child to raise, or family to love. <3
Sure, technically, gamer makes sense as one who games. But people don't walk around proclaiming themselves movie watchers or music listeners as though it was some all encompsssing part of them.
Or, uh, maybe some out there do? But not in my world.
More and more people who game are out of school, so let's just chuck the Junior High mentality of labels like the one of gamer.
Just like if you're here, well, obviously you game. It's a game site. It's a given.
It's like kids going around saying that guy is preppy, that one's the stoner...technically true, but a bit limiting and judgemental to whatever else those people might be about.
Just chill on lables, like what you like and be more grateful you're a good mom above all else, which is obvious given your thinking is all about being there with your kids.
Forget labels. Those really are for the people with nothing but one thing in their life.
Plus, really, if anyone does fit that stereotype version of gamer and only plays games around the clock (other than if it's your job), who's the real loser in life? That hardcore person, or casual gaming mom?
First off, there's one thing we can both agree on : parenting is more important then videogames. Alright, perfect.
Then, it's true as others have said that the soccer mom Wii owning stereotype is what it is : a stereotype. So you can't blame yourself for buying the Wii.
However, I find it quite sad that you see the need to change your gaming habits from Zelda to 'family friendly' games aka party games (Carnival games?).
My first gaming memory is playing Prince of Persia, and Duck Tales on the computer. Then it was playing Doom on my dad's knees. It scared the fuck out of me, then I used the invincibility cheat and noclip and thought it was funny. And ended up getting over my fears and enjoying it. And feeling badass. I was about 5 I'd say. So why is it that parents feel the need to play shitty games like 'Carnival game' on the Wii instead of something like Street Fighter 4. You explain to them that it's not real, and they'll have a blast. You can even enjoy it with them!
I'm not telling you to play Resident Evil with them; I can understand how you'd find that disturbing, but the original Marios (Wiiware)? Civilization 4? A lot of 'hardcore games', or at least respectable games, can be played over little periods of time (I have to admit Civilization is addictive but...) with no penalty yet have some kind of artistic and gameplay value.
So let me be honest : I find that using your kids as an excuse to tend towards casual games is just hiding behind them. Buying a Wii is great, but playing Wii Sports exclusively because it's kid friendly, then trying to justify your lack of will to actually show something awesome to your kids... I don't think it's right. Oh and your kid will probably realise one day that you overprotected him from actual gaming and that you can't play a hardcore game.
I'm quite glad I got to play classics like Chrono Trigger when I was about 9 and discovered Baldur's Gate around the same time; they definitely changed my perception of life, as did Dragon Ball and Pokemon. Friendships, hardships, all those real things I'm happy I understood early. So please don't be that 'let's always play video games together' bullshit soccer mom who's too implicated, give them the opportunity to try actual games while making sure you use the Wii for some family time; an ideal balance of letting them try Metroid Prime and playing Super Mario Bro together.
Now, that might have been your plan from the beginning, or not, but your blog just sounded like you tried to defend your hardcore self while exclusively playing shitty games with your kids, under the parenting pretext.
If I'm totally wrong, feel free to tell me. Oh and back to my first sentence, I'm still happy you decided to limit your gaming to enjoy your family life a bit more, and I hope you'll be compelled to play Age of Empire or something with your kids instead of Wii Play.
Thanks for all the responses everyone. Kinda nice feeling vindicated in having to cut back and limit my gaming in favor of more quality time with the family. Like I told ZP, this blog was more about changing my expectations of gaming to a more casual hobby while I have more important things to tend to, not so much a declaration on the stereotypes inherent in niche communities, but I think the comments have all been pretty insightful and interesting.
@Thetruth,
"But people don't walk around proclaiming themselves movie watchers or music listeners"
That made me laugh. Well played.
Anyway. You've got some Good Times ahead, and the Wii does have a few games that are quite awesome.
Casual gaming is buying a system for the hype and the inclusiveness of owning something and then buying stuff that's crap but acting all "Hey look at me! I'm gaming! I'm hip! I'm cool!"
You know that the Wii is not the best system ever. You are not getting it just to be a part of the group. You're not getting the games because they're what you'd rather play. You're getting the Wii because you have time consuming responsibilities as a parent and are socially responsible adult.
Being casual and hardcore has very little to do with the system you own, or so I find. It is about what kind of gamer you are in your heart. At the core, you're still a hardcore gamer. You'd love to lock yourself in your room and play an RPG until your eyes fall out. But...you just can't do that. Bills to be paid, kids to feed, clothe and take care of in other ways. But don't worry. Someday you'll have the time again and the hardcore gamer flame inside will burn bright and free again.