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I really dislike the term "Girl Gamer" though mostly because I'm 47 and it's been a long, long time since I was called a "girl". I'm a gamer and I happen to be female. I don't feel that I should have to hide the fact that I'm female because this is who I am, just as being older, being married and loving FPS online games is part of who I am.
When the monthly musing topic of love/hate came up I had lots of various ideas but the one that I kept coming back to was the topic of female gamers because it's something that does have a consistent impact on my gaming experience. Ironically, I never knew that being a female gamer was unusual until I started playing online and joining gaming communities. Prior to that, I just assumed that people gamed -- all kinds of people. I had no preconceptions or stereotypes of who gamers were. I hope that one day we get back to that idea, though, not because of ignorance, but rather because it's simple reality.
That being said, since joining the world of gaming communities, I've come to detest many of the stereotypes of female gamers.
I hate those females that try to use their sexuality and slutty pictures of themselves to make a name for themselves in the gaming industry rather than letting their knowledge speak for itself. I hate that they create a stereotype that makes it more difficult for the average female gamer to game online or join gaming communities without getting sexually harassed because apparently all girls game naked and we use controllers for bras. I hate that so many "top 10 female gamers" or "gamer girl" contests are based entirely on the quality of those slutty pictures and have little to do with their gaming skills. I hate that I have a hard time accepting that women have and always will use their sexuality to get noticed and that in this day and age of the internet, exposing oneself with slutty "gamer girl" pictures works -- they get exposure so who can blame them.
I love that people are not buying into that stereotype anymore. Just as most guy gamers aren't 17-year-old pimply-faced geeks gaming in their parent's basement with a stack of girlie mags under the bed, all female gamers aren't gaming in their Victoria's Secret underwear clutching a controller with their bare butt cheeks while fragging guys. Less and less do I find that I am verbally harassed online and there seems a greater acceptance that being female isn't a big deal in online games -- even shooter games. I love being able to jump into an online game and be "just another gamer" without needing Sexual Harassment Panda as my wing-man. I like that the term "attention wh0re" has entered the gamer lexicon and that these women are often more rightfully regarded as "wanna be models" and not typical "female gamers"
I hate all girl gaming clans/groups like the Frag Dolls. I hate that they create a stereotype of attractive girls that aggressively frag boys. I hate that groups like Ubisoft's Frag Dolls are trotted around like some sort of circus act to purportedly prove that "girls can game" yet the real purpose is no different than the booth babes at a gaming trade show . Pretty girls will attract the attention of guys. I hate that for guys, "professional gaming" is based entirely on their skills, but for girls "professional gaming" is based on a combination of skills and looks. I hate that many of the "girl gaming" clans tend to seek sponsorships based entirely on their gender. Again, these clans often promote the Frag Doll image of "we're pretty and can kick your ass". The example they set that girls have to be "better" than boys is just more of a deterrent than an encouragement to women that might take an interest in gaming. We can't all be Frag Dolls and most of us don't want to be. It seems that these groups were created more as business/marketing concepts to sell gaming to men, not women.
I love that I am now seeing females in mixed clans in ladders and tournaments. I love that I'm seeing female gamers out there just playing the game and not feeling that they have to be grouped up with other girls or that they have to have "killa-skillz" or be "representing the ladies" to play and enjoy gaming. I like that with Internet gaming anyone can be a competitive gamer, regardless of gender or appearance. I like that more often guys are realizing that not all girls want to be competitive gamers, we're allowed to be average.
I hate "all-girl" gaming Web sites. I hate most general girl gaming sites that invariably seem to drift away from gaming and start to include anime, cosplay, tech, books, cooking, designer shoes. Other sections of the site evolve that have nothing at all to do with gaming. I hate that other girl gaming sites constantly perpetuate the stereotype that we have to "stick together" to avoid those awful nasty men that play videogames (which is ironically simply another stereotype) I hate that most general gaming sites (including Destructoid) tend to be very "male" oriented with a preponderance of "boob" pics to satiate the apparently lascivious virginal male demographic that seemingly don't have access to real life boobs, which is probably what drives so many women to those "girls only" sites. I hate that division of girls and guys. We're all just gamers.
I love that more girl gaming sites now have male contributors and that male sites have female voices -- that the division between girls and boys is fading. I like that every voice that is offended by things like the recent Spike VGA awards is not a "feminist" or a female, but a mix of gamer voices tired of all of the sexism and stereotyping. I love that there are other females on this site and online who are "gamers" and real people and not feeding one of the many stereotypes. I love that more women aren't hiding their gender but are able to simply be who they are with less fear of harassment. I like that sites are slowly evolving into "gamer" sites, with little gender differentiation.
I hate the Wii soccer mom/Japanophile-cosplaying-Final Fantasy addict girl/the "my boyfriend makes me play" girl. I hate all the stereotypes of girl gamers and mostly I hate that I probably am some kind of stereotype and just don't realize it. (and the first person that drags out that "granny gamer" stereotype will get killed in an unpleasant manner).
But I love that things have changed and are changing. I love that being a female who games is becoming more "normal" and not an oddity, an anomaly, or a potential opportunity for hot PSN cam sex. I like that both males and females are less often stereotyped and that the gaming industry is starting to see that playing the "hot girl" marketing card isn't working as well any more. I like that the diversity that are real people and gamers is starting to show on gaming sites. Sadly, some things will never change. I'm sure that females will always get those "gotta pic?" messages, I'm sure that there will always be assholes in online games, but for the most part, things are getting better.
I hate being a "girl gamer". I don't hate other girl gamers, just the stereotypes of girl gamers. I love being a gamer who happens to be female. I love that eventually there may not be such a thing as a "girl gamer", just a gamer.
I hate that in doing this blog, I'm probably perpetuating the "attention wh0re female gamer whining about how we're treated" stereotype when what I'm really trying to say is that I love how increasingly females can be who they are in the gaming world, that we're all different and it's not regarded as a big deal anymore.
... and I don't mind making you a sandwich -- whether you're male or female.
Contest:
6:30 PM on 12.29.2009
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I have to say that I would have nothing but the utmost respect for anyone who can do that regardless of their gender.
I hear girl gamers make great sandwiches.
Apparently playing as a female character means that you're a female in real life.
I wonder how many hits this is going to have?
Almost every video gaming guy's fantasy is to have the woman in their life.
Be interested and his equal, in something he enjoys. Especially after work for something to relax & socialize TOGETHER. Especially when she's smoking hot. ((Bragging Rights to be had all around.))
Take an example how lucky your husband must feel. To have you as part of his social / gaming life. He treats you as his equal right? You both share a common theme.
It's like the woman in a man's life. Wants to be flirted with, showered with gifts, & constantly be told of how much he loves her. For example wants him to be interested in certain things that she may enjoy. Going out to eat, shopping, or movies.
For the sexualization of VideoGame modeling... Girls know what boys want, right. So they make themselves a fetish niche. Besides we all know how to become famous right? (( Sexting Pics or Sex Tapes. )) Oh, the internet. :)
That being said, you still have not made SilverDragon a sandwich. We're going to have to dock your pay.
I am woman, hear me roar.
Anyway, front page.
Anyway anyway, some girl won, or did really well, at the Smash Bros tourny at Evo earlier this year and everyone interviewing her was saying she defied stereotypes and shit. I was wondering how having a vagina could possibly get in the way of playing games. Do you play with your vagina?
If not, I don't see how having one is a factor. If so, pix.
Hate both sides of the argument, myself <3.
Elsa, now that I think about it you're the only female gamer I don't utterly hate, but don't worry, I won't reveal your secret identity, it's only natural for a woman to lie about her age...
(and rather than hide the blog, I just changed it to a commentary classification, rather than a monthly musing, so it's less likely to be front-paged).
@Shipero... LOL! That kinda came out wrong!
@Silverdragon... sandwiches have been served! :)
@Anonymouse... is that guy still around! One of my first experiences in Warhawk was some guy teamkilling me while yelling "girls don't game"... though it was the female nick and voice, not the avatar that gave me away! LOL!
@Monodi... Yeah, I hope we see more "good games" not "girl games". It doesn't take much for females to better enjoy most of the games currently out there. The occasional strong female characters, female avatars in some shooter games... small changes that don't substantially change the game.
@BS3 Owner... "how many hits is this going to have"... yeah, I know that I do tend to get a pretty decent response to many of my blogs and I often wonder if it's because I'm female... or because I comment on other people's blogs, play in the FNF games, or actually have something interesting to say. I guess I'll never really know for sure. In terms of my husband... he struggles with his own male/female gamer issues. I've been a gamer longer than him, game more than him... and therefore am usually better than him at games - which is hard on the male ego. It shouldn't be though... he's much better than I am at foosball!
@Daxelman... extreme gamer girls I guess are like extreme gamer guys... to be honest anyone who's overly competitive and lives/breathes their KDR drives me nuts I guess! LOL!
@socialnorms... and thank goodness for the ladies on this site who show that we're just regular gamers... and the guys on this site who generally have fun with all of the stereotypes.
@bluexy... thanks!
@tim... UGH!!! I hate "girl games". Unfortunately, they apparently actually sell. Meh... if they get young girls into gaming, hopefully they soon spread their wings and start to play games that are actually just "good games".
@Jesus.. and soon a gal could win a tourney and just be the gamer who won the tourney... not being or defying some stereotype.
@Retro... but guys play FF and Xenosaga and they're gamers.
@Havoc... yeah, I too rather hate both sides of the argument, but hopefully there won't be any sides in the future and it'll all fall under "not an issue".
@Naim... LMAO! Did you not read that part in the blog about me killing you? I'm actually no closer to Granny... than I am to Raychul! Ah well... at least granny is an original and helps to show that all kinds of people love playing games! :)
@walkyourpath... I actually don't really want this on the frontpage as it's more of a personal meandering. It's something that came out but I don't know that it's saying what I want it to say... but maybe one of these days the ideas will coalesce into something more coherent! :)
Yeah couldn't care less about gender (or age or anything; have fragged and fragged with pretty much every type of person imaginable throughout the years) when playing, as long as everyone's in it for the actual "love of the game" (or something almost as cheesy and nice as that). "Grrrll gamerz" only stand out negatively for me when they "attention wh*re" for real, don't know shit about games and don't care but pretend they do, bawww about how tough it is to be a girl gamer* and finally when shit like this happens** (none of them ever had a chance to make a blip in any normal tournament against guys who would never ever see sponsorships like that).
* In an exaggerated manner and tied in with the aforementioned issues. Certainly being an (unfortunately) "easy target" will increase the rate of abuse, but the idiots who do that shit are usually idiots to more or less everyone they don't know to be honest. Maybe MasterHaloChief666Lord calls all girls he sees online wh*res that are shit at games and loudly states that he wishes to F them in the A, but to be fair, MasterHaloChief666Lord likely also calls most guys he sees online f*ggots that are shit at games and loudly states that they can S his D. Not a huge difference.
** They are really nice people, just sayin' it's pretty messed up.
I have nothing but agreement for your piece. I feel like these are some of the stereotypes of any woman who steps outside of a "woman's role." As an avid Hilary supporter during the '08 elections I can't tell you how many stupid sex and vagina jokes I put up with. And this is rural buttfuck America so this was beyond sarcasm.
And again with the terms!!! Girl gamer, casual gamer, gay gamer, just shut the fuck up, pick up your controller of choice, and have fun! God dammit.
I will also agree with someone who is also female and games. I don't need to use my sexuality to get the attention I let my knowledge of games do that for me. I myself have stopped caring about the "girl gamers" the post pictures of themselves half naked with games and/or game systemsm I just laugh at them. Also this needs to be front paged.
Elsa, you should check out this magazine...
@Torzelan... exactly... it's all about playing the games and lots of different people play. I don't mind people talking openly about their age, gender, race, their jobs, country they live in, their kids, their parents - because it helps to show the vast diversity of gamers. We all have different perspectives of gaming and should be able to express them. That article was interesting because it shows again the consumerism of "girl gaming" and how sponsorship is being tied to their gender. Hell, if any gamer can practice 24/7 with top of the line equipment... they'd better be good. I also agree that aholes online will harass men just as easily as they'll harass women.
@Xzyliac... you always have the best comments!! "Girl gamer, casual gamer, gay gamer, just shut the fuck up, pick up your controller of choice, and have fun!" - yup, that's pretty much what it took me this huge blog to say! :)
... and yeah, it probably was predictable for me to write this blog... I do often write from a female perspective.. because I can't imagine how to write in any other way... but I also don't want to be perceived as a "girl" gamer - just as a gamer who happens to be a female. It's a fine line to walk but I also have to learn to be more accepting of those who choose to be a stereotype - just as I want to just be "me"... maybe being a "hot gamer girl who frags guys" really is who some other women are. Them being that way makes it harder for me to be "just a gamer"... but me being the way I am maybe makes it harder for them to get the attention they possibly seek.
eh... see, I don't really know what I'm saying! LOL!
@psycho... exactly! It's nice to write and talk about games... without getting classed or stereotyped!
@Jim... LMAO!!... and you exactly express the dichotomy of Destructoid with your comment. On the surface it's a "videa gamez site"... with the usual stereotypes, boob jokes and sexist comments... but underneath it all is a sense of humour and a subtle mockery of all the stereotypes! (and sometimes not so subtle mocking! LOL!)
and you are part of this Elsa.
Excellent blog!
@MissHinasaki.. nicely said! LOL!
@Kraid... one of the things I like most about the c-blog is the people.. while I may bring my own perspective, I love seeing the perspectives of others... everyone here is such an individual and I honestly can think of very few that match those silly gamer stereotypes.
@Ace... as I said, things are changing. Maybe more women will get into gaming once they don't have to live up to the stereotypes.
@MichaelBrown... exactly.. just play my games.. and use my own name, and use a mic and blog about them - and it's no longer a "big deal" like it used to be - and I'm thankful for that.
Elsa, you do a great deal in talking about some of the negative stereotypes that plague women themselves when it comes to gaming. What's your take on the stereotypes of the male gamer that tend to exclude female gamers? For example, many of the women I talk to about videogames believe that it's "a boy thing," and they're always hesitant to even try, even when a game isn't promoting some macho-super-hardass-action-theme. I know women that won't even play newer forms of Super Mario Bros (when they have played Super Mario Bros in the past) simply because they claim that we'll make fun of them for sucking (i.e., boys do it so much better). Is there something else going on that sort of alienates female gamers? And not just machismo-driven games. But perhaps some sort of negative stereotypes about the activity itself.
If you haven't already seen it.
Honestly, the reason I don't hang out with the "gamers" at my school on a more regular basis is because they prescribe to so many of the backward stereotypes about gaming culture and women that I despise. I understand that this is probably caused by a number of factors, but the "gamer girl" identity is just another head on the hydra of stupid ideas the culture of video games needs to kill.
Oh, and I'd never heard of the Frag Dolls before this but looking at them, all I see are the Budweiser girls with a video game controller replacing the beer can. /yawn
Actually, wouldn't this generally describe all teenagers?
:D
As I said, I actually started gaming way before I realized that it wasn't common for women to game... and obviously I can't speak for other women - but I do think that the stereotypes of "girl gamers" makes it more difficult for women to get into gaming nowadays - I honestly don't know that I would take up gaming nowadays if I had been exposed to all the current press about girls and gaming and the current negative stereotypes. I do think that the recent trend towards cooperative games helps. Women have always played games like WoW because they are social and people work together. I see a lot of women playing Warhawk... first time gamers too! They quickly learn that they don't have to be really good to help out the team, just standing on the right zone to bring it up can be helpful... and they learn quickly. I also saw a lot of women in the MAG beta, because being a medic doesn't rely on FPS skills and it allows shooting skills to more slowly develop while still getting decent points. Actually, I see a fair number of female gamers in many of the truly team based games. Women also play a lot of RPG and offline games... but in general there still is a "boys" club thing about gaming that is only recently starting to fade.
I think it's hard for anyone (male or female) to get into gaming when they're older because they inevitably have to go through that tough learning stage where they will suck... but the skills transfer and each game becomes easier. I saw my husband going through this... and he's getting much better, but it's a tough road for anyone.
The true change will be with people like my niece. She's 6 years old and I just bought her a DS for her Birthday. Hopefully she'll grow up in a world where there are no "girl gamers"... just gamers. That's when things will truly change (and no, she doesn't play the Imagine games! LOL!)
@Khazar222... I did not see that article... and I love it!! She expresses much of what I was trying to say... but in a much more coherent manner (then again, she is a journalist, and I have no interest in being one... so am allowed to ramble!) :)
... Thank you for that link!! (and she also makes a good point about boobs... I understand that aspect of the business totally and it doesn't bother me personally at all - but I do think it might make it more difficult for some women (and even men) to look more closely at the site and see beyond the obvious "click the link because it has boobs" business aspect).
@Occams... yeah, most of the imagery of women in gaming is all business driven - which is why I love seeing pictures of the gamer get-togethers on Destructoid... the NARPS, PAX, other events that just show gamers who love games... male and female!
Also...
in re:
"I hate that in doing this blog, I'm probably perpetuating the "attention wh0re female gamer whining about how we're treated" stereotype"
Fuck 'em. Anyone who bitches about women talking about gender issues is an irrelevant douche-bag and you never should have cared about what they said or what stereotypes they have because they're little shits who can't have adult conversations and should be ignored as such.
It means a time commitment that a lot of people don't have... though maybe men seem to be better able to commit to it than women do at this time in our social history (we're too busy making sandwiches!) I don't personally think it's biological, though maybe societal.
@Daedhead... thanks!
@Jumbo... in the case of the Frag Dolls it's not the sexualization... it's the "girls can beat boys" thing that is so difficult for the average woman to live up to. I think the image deters women from gaming and it's done more as a promo thing to cater to men in gaming. They would have set a better example to have a mixed team... guys and girls who game together. My opinion anyway!
A salmon salad sandwich sounds really delicious. Also, this write-up was fantastic. :)
Also you should play gh naked at least once in your lifetime :P.
In response to your comments about groups like "Frag Dolls" and stereotyping gamer girls:
Megan Fox is not given roles because she can act. She's given roles because she's what society considers sexy. Bond girls are not cast because of their talents. I'm sure there are fat girls that can sing just as well as Brittany Spears, but they aren't given the chance to make CDs because of their looks. The truth of the matter is, the appeal of these groups will never go away. So while I agree that the stereotype of gamer girl may be changing (slowly), the possibility of being treated the "same" in male-dominated gaming categories like shooters is slim. It's a shame, really, but the issue extends far beyond the realm of video games.
4 years ago a friend wanted to get me on Counter-Strike.
Yeah, I started to play it with him and had only a UT99 multiplayer experience.
He had a nice girl as gf and was a passioned gamer.
But there was one thing I got to know in this time.
When I played with with Teamspeak, we guys always did not talk very much, because
of concentration^^ but, when a girl logged in...wtf? the boys started to flirt like she was the last girl on earth, even my friend who had a gf.
I hated it. Turned on by a girl who is gaming?? I mentioned that other of my friends have the same problem. When they meet a girl who is gaming, they always forget their girlfriend or try to fuck her at the same moment.
I cant understand it. Turned on by a girl who is gaming?!?!?
I always mentioned stuff like you already told us Elsa:
They start to being perverted and ask if she plays naked or if she would like to see his BFG...omfg...i had to vomit.
Thats always the problem for the gaming WOMANs (yeah..wtf you passed the time to being a girl honey). I mean stupid ho's like Adrianne Curry...confirm this clichè....okay its maybe good for her as PR..but i dont like it.
So stop identify you as GAMER GIRL. For me is everyone only a gamer. Only the
personality counts...not the tits.
If this doesn't get on the front page DToid has failed.......agree or disagree one of the better writen blogs.
Good stuff, as always.
Seems I can always count on you to write good stuff.
I always joked that "if you need your own branch of philosophy to prove you're equal or better, you're not" but as time went on it became less of a joke and more of a belief. I think the same is true for most girl gamers clans, sites, etc... and to a different extent, the same can be said of gay gamer sites/clans/etc. If you want to be treated as equals you have to be equals... not quibbling, annoying, or attention seeking.
It's funny how I'll be playing video games with my cousins and he'll ask me "You're a grown up and why you play DS?" He never seem to question why a girl plays video games or why boys do, just he seems to wonder why a adult would play it. And as a kid I thought the same thing. I never questioned why either gender would play video games, till I went to high school and started to notice that it's not common for a girl to play video games.
But anyways great write up Elsa!
I hate video game/car review shows on TV where one of the reviewers is a "hawt gamer/car gurl", everything that comes out of her mouth is discredited by her slutty looks. It in turn fuels prejudice like "the man with her must've told her what to say" and "only men know anything about video games/cars". I wonder if those female reviewers are aware of this?
I love Elsa because she hates a lot of things that I hate. <3 Thanks for the good read!
@Chiben... yes, it's unlikely that women gamers will ever be treated the "same" as guy gamers and the issue does extend beyond video games, but I think I'm just happy that the stereotypes are fading and that gamers, devs and the industry are recognizing that female (and male) gamers are diverse and just can't be as easily stereotyped. I don't want to be treated as a guy... but I do wnat to be treated as an individual and get buddy invites because people enjoy gaming with me... not so that they can have a girl on their buddy list. It's nice to jump into a game nowadays and not be treated as a freak or something unusual.
@Tonic... yes it is Raychul. Raychul is by all accounts an avid gamer but her modeling career seems to have become confused with her being a gamer and it's created a stereotype that is detrimental to female gamers in general. I personally lost some respect for her when she entered the Miss Video Game Contest with those pictures... and I think in the long run she might have had a better career in the gaming industry if she had kept her clothes on, but that's just my opinion. She's a bright articulate woman who loves gaming and it's too bad that she didn't use those assets... instead of other more obvious ones.
@themizarkshow... "If you want to be treated as equals you have to be equals" - yup!
@Mellowbunny... yeah, it's nice that the next generation of gamers likely won't have the gender divisions currently in the industry! I still remember a time when the news on TV was "man stuff" and how women were only the pretty weather girl... nowadays female anchors on the news are commonplace and a non-issue. Hopefully gaming will also evolve that way.