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LOL: Gears of Venezuelan War w/ Marcus 'Chavez' Phoenix photo

What an amazing newpaper cover image! This comes from Peru-based Destructoid reader Giancarlo, who says that this image is from one of the most serious newspapers in his country. Here's roughly how the front page of this newspaper reads:

Headline: CHAVEZ GEARS UP

Sub-headline: Will purchase $5 billion US from Russia in military equipment

Text: Will acquire submarines, tanks and helicopters. The United States fears weapons may end up in other countries of the region

Are they sure he's getting that GEAR from the Russia? It looks like it's on loan from Epic Games! Nice shoop, Peru21!

Hit the jump to see a bigger image of the newspaper's front page.

[Thanks for the 'billion' correction, all]

LAUNCH GALLERY (1 IMAGES)
Photo









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Dale North is Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief, a founding editor, and specialist in Japanese gaming. An accomplished musician, Dale was reporting from Japan during the earthquakes of 2011. Luckily, he got the fuck out alive and is home in America now with his wife and beloved corgi, Einstein. Dale is also a co-founder of Destructoid's sister anime site Japanator. Likes Corgis, Sega Saturn, PSP, iPhone, Photographic tools. Meet the rest of the team



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42 comments | showing # 1 to 42
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DF's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:30
DF
Wow, that's incredible. XD
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:31
Los255
Now he NEEDS to be in the 3rd game. At least a skin for multiplayer or something. That is awesome.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:32
MrSadistic
Wow, hidden unlockable bonus character in Gears of War 3 plz.
Jumbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:37
Jumbo
To be clear, he's getting the gear from Russia. The "US" refers to the denomination of the money he's spending to buy it.
lastdual's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:38
lastdual
It's not $5 million, but actually $5 billion.

Meanwhile large parts of Venezuela go without electricity and basic needs. Gotta love the paranoia. He's on his way to creating another paradise like North Korea...
Jas86's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:40
Jas86
He's getting that "gear" from Russia. He's paying the equivalent of $5 million USD. Which could get him a quarter of a helicopter, a tenth of submarine, and about six bullets.
MooImaChicken's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:42
MooImaChicken
I can speak spanish Dale and that header says 5 billions, not million, just wanted to let you know. Besides that i loved that pic, can not believe that's a header from an actual newspaper, lol.
Jumbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:42
Jumbo
@lastdual

I know, right! Aren't you glad you live in a country that provides basic needs for all its citizens and doesn't spend very much on the military?
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:46
Jesus H Christ
We have more than one Peruvian reader? God, I thought that other one was plenty...
lastdual's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:50
lastdual
@Jumbo

Sorry, but the "poor" in America have got it pretty damn easy compared to the poor in most of the world. If you're seriously trying to draw a comparison, then you simply don't know what real poverty is.

Granted, I would agree that we spend too much (not just on the military, but in general, considering that we're deep in debt).
CrispyWaffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:50
CrispyWaffle
ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
hyakushiki1234's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:51
hyakushiki1234
This has quite literally made my day.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:51
Occams electric toothbrush
Haha. He looks like he belongs in the cantina on Mos Eisley.
Sgt Pepper Lonely's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:52
Sgt Pepper Lonely
Yes, according to english way, it's 5 billion dollars, not 5 million.

In Spanish is not a billion, is just 5 thousand millions, just let you know, and I'm not peruvian btw, I'm chilean. :)
Ghost125's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 12:59
Ghost125
this cheers me up a bit, since here in venezuela all the FPS games or the "violent" ones are prohibited, im glad ppl m ake fun of this clown we have as president, hell even obama is better :P
Dizzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:02
Dizzy
FAIL. Again.
Sgt Pepper Lonely's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:05
Sgt Pepper Lonely
BTW the cover is just brilliant, kudos to peru21
Danzflor's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:08
Danzflor
JAJAJAJAJAJAAJJAJAJAAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJ

OH POR DIOS

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJAJA

I can't stop laughing god dammit.

As I Say once, I say it again: THIS ONLY HAPPENS IN LATINAMERICA.

Oh and look, the irony: Chavez just banned violent videogames from his country. Oh The irony.
Vigu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:09
Vigu
The US is worried that it may go to neighboring countries and not that is being bought by a president with communist tendencies? This cant be good in any way you see it.

BTW Im from Peru, so that makes 3?
Luftwaffles's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:10
Luftwaffles
Wow, awesome shoop.
socialnorms's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:13
socialnorms
Voting Ahmadinejad for teammate. And chimpanzee of the century.
NotoriousBIG420's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:29
NotoriousBIG420
So...Chavez is a Gears player? I can dig it!
shaoranwright's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:34
shaoranwright
wait.... this fucking idiot accused the "nintendo" for being harmful to the childrens and now this?... PERO QUE CONCHADESUMADRE MAS GRANDE!!!!
Wavebird64's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:44
Wavebird64
Cree de los chicos y las chicas pequeños!!!



(my Spanish sucks)
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:49
Gyrael
I was gonna post this on the forums yesterday but I only saw it after I was crafting my super post.

Then I forgot.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:51
Gyrael
after I started*
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:53
Velt
This guy is just another Dictadorzuelo.
LReiviN's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 13:59
LReiviN
this could made my day, but then, i realize that im living in venezuela ._. kind of funny, but i hate that guy, and nothing about him makes me smile.
Zulkyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 15:00
Zulkyr
Amazing how radicals from the right-liners of Peru can come up with videogames references. The image was awesome fun, though, it made my desktop:D
silversurf1981's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 16:01
silversurf1981
As a native of Venezuela who escaped Hugo Chavez's totalitarian regime back in 1999, I can say with great conviction that this is the most refreshing piece of media news about gaming and politics I have ever seen about this demented man. Hats off to you Peruvians, Mr. North, and Dtoid peeps.
reservoirdog's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 16:18
reservoirdog
erm i´m from Peru, and that is NOT one of the most serious newspapers in the country, it´s actually kinda yellow press and it even has a bikini babe centerfold every sunday... But it IS one of the most widespread since it´s really cheap, see for yourselves http://peru21.pe/
angelo3903's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 16:25
angelo3903
@Vigu
Four, I'm from peru too. I'm pretty much sure there are a lot of peruvian destructoid readers.
There are 2 things in this world that never cease to amaze me: Hugo Chávez stupidity and the brilliance of Jim Sterling (except when he's talking about heavy rain).
NoBodysGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 16:29
NoBodysGamer
I hate his guy, i wonder will someone executes him for all his evil behavior and choice of terrorist friends.
A "sweet" duo: Ahmefuckjad and MonkeyChavez, they will look beautiful together: hanged or crusifed.
superporkeater3d's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 17:13
superporkeater3d
too bad half of it is gonna end in the hands of the terrorists of the FARC (as it wasnt bad enought to end in dictator's hands)
pl0x kthanxbai's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 19:44
pl0x kthanxbai
@superporkeater3d

do i have to remind you this "dictator" was elected by the people, like 5 times already



im from venezuela and i must say i no longer support him (this is no socialism, hes just fuckin everything up), however lets set things straight, hes not and hes never been a dictator


@silversurf1981

shameful, just shameful, you sir are no real venezuelan


i simply hate this deafeatist attitude and anti-democratic stances from the opposition (one of the main reasons of why i supported chavez, wasnt the fact we share the same ideology(if he is indeed a socialist), its just that i saw the opposition being far worse, not that my view of em changed)
Korolev's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 19:45
Korolev
Chavez is not a good president - but he did win the election. All the international monitors verified that the elections were fair.

Do I agree with his policies? Of course not. Is he going off the deep end? Absolutely. I expected him to turn into another Castro within about 3 years. Has he oppressed the opposition and the independent media? Of course. Has he supported FARC and is he an evil man for doing so? Yes, I'd say that fits him.

But did he win the election fairly? Yes. Like it or not, the poor adore Chavez. And the poor make up the majority in Venezuela. He is actually providing them with services they didn't get before. Of course, he has wrecked business and his economy isn't doing too well. But the people love him.

Let this be a lesson - if you treat the poor like shit they are going to turn to anyone who will stand up for them, even if the person they choose will ultimately be their downfall. The rich in Venezuela deserve some of the blame for the state that country is in. Had they been more attentive to the needs of the people, instead of ruling over them like cattle, then maybe Chavez wouldn't have been so popular.

Hey, you treat people badly, don't be surprised when they support less that reputable characters that promise them a better life.

Having said that - you should probably get out of Venezuela if you're rich. Seriously. That nation really is turning into a socialist state. And for all you Americans who accuse Obama of being a socialist, Obama is NOTHING like Chavez. You want an idea of what a socialist is, Chavez is an example.
pl0x kthanxbai's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 19:55
pl0x kthanxbai
@Korolev

well we are not really sure about the farc thing


also welcome to the red side my friend, the moment you realized bourgeoisie's purpose in this world is to suppress the rights of the exploited proletariat, the moment you started to feel emphaty for the working class, the moment you conceived the idea of a better world, that moment you became a socialist



and lets get this straight, if theres one thing this guy hasnt done, is defend the workers' right



thats why im going to vote him out
brod's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2010 22:01
brod
"The United States fears"

What else is new?
wanderingpixel's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/08/2010 08:27
wanderingpixel
I think I know who should play Marcus in the movie.
NESgamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/10/2010 02:53
NESgamer
Haha hilarious, it was fun and creative.
Katya's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/21/2011 04:41
Katya
This comes from Peru-based Destructoid reader Giancarlo, who says that this image is from one of the most serious newspapers in his country.
Best regards, Katya, CEO of dvd burner software, iscsi target port
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