This is my favorite story because it's about DLC for a game I don't play coming from bands I don't listen to. Nevertheless, Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock is getting some new downloadable content for the holidays. Seriously though, what's a Linkin Park? They're that band for emos, right?

On the subject of emos, go check out Emo Corner. It's a forum for people with fake depression to talk about how floppy their hair is and pretend to be bisexual. This is probably the best quote on the whole damn forum:

"im 16
i started cuting when i was 13
ive tried killing myself twice
once i almost succeded"

I wanted so badly to join and reply to that with "Achievement unlocked -- once almost succeeded at failing life." Emo kids are terrific, especially because you think people exaggerate just how bad they are, but then you find their little online rat's nests and see that, no, they're actually EXACTLY how others portray them, just with no hint of irony. These are the kind of people I want to buy goth claws for -- not for them to wear, but for me to wear so I can slap them in their androgynous faces with my big metal griffon paws. Yeah, xXRavenwingDoomcloudXx won't be so pretty after that.

What were we talking about? Oh yes, new DLC is coming to Guitar Hero III, and you can check the official, non-emo press release after the jump. I copied and pasted it, because that's what we talentless, pseudo-journalist "blogger scumbags" do (Protip: Putting "pseudo" before words is the ultimate insult).

LINKIN PARK, MASTADON AND THE USED HIGHLIGHT DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT ARRIVING IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

 

Guitar Hero® III: Legends of Rock Set List Expansion Also to Include Hit European Singles,

Free Rock Rendition of Christmas Classic

 

SUNNYVALE, CA – December 14, 2007 – Master recordings from Warner/Reprise artists Linkin Park, Mastadon and The Used will be available as a downloadable track pack for Activision, Inc.'s  (Nasdaq: ATVI) Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, during the month of December.  Additionally, Activision will offer single song downloads from such popular European bands as Extremoduro, Trust and Die Fantastischen Vier, as well as a free, exclusive rock rendition of the holiday classic "We Three Kings," recorded by Steve Ouimette.  The Warner/Reprise Track Pack, single song downloads, and free holiday classic will be available for the Xbox 360^® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft and PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system. 

 

The Warner/Reprise Track Pack includes master recordings of "No More Sorrow," by Linkin Park, "Sleeping Giant," by Mastadon and "Pretty Handsome Awkward," by The Used.  The single song downloads offer such popular singles as "So Payaso," from Extremoduro, "Antisocial" from Trust, and "Ernten Was Wir Säen" from Die Fantastischen Vier.

 

After downloading the new tracks, Guitar Hero® fans are encouraged to visit www.guitarhero.com to enter fret-bending competitions with the opportunity to win various prizes.

 

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock contains explosive new content and features including a multiplayer action-inspired battle mode, grueling boss battles, a host of exclusive unlockable content and visually stunning rock venues.  Expanded online multiplayer game modes allow axe-shredders worldwide to compete head-to-head for true rock status.  The game features a star-studded soundtrack including master tracks by legendary artists such as Aerosmith, Guns 'N' Roses, The Rolling Stones, Beastie Boys, Rage Against the Machine and Pearl Jam, as well as original songs by guitar icons Slash and Tom Morello.  While continuing to retain all the key features from their prior legendary performances, fresh downloadable content will be available on multiple platforms, and players can now shred to a killer set list from many of the most popular rock songs ever recorded. 

 

For the first time ever, Guitar Hero fans are able to thrash and burn with new wireless guitar controllers available for each platform, including exclusive Gibson Guitar's Les Paul model for the Xbox 360^® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, Wii™ home video game system from Nintendo, and PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system.  PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system gamers also get to shred on a new exclusive shape, Gibson's Kramer guitar, popularized by hard rockers and known for its body design, pickups, electronics and construction for furious finger fretting.

 

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, developed by Neversoft, is rated "T" for Teen by the ESRB, and is currently available at North American retailers.  For more information about the Guitar Hero franchise, please visit the dedicated community site: www.guitarhero.com.

Jim's advice to PR companies: Your press release formatting SUCKS!