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Following the guidance of a murderous computer might not be everyone's idea of a pleasant drive, but this custom voice file for GLaGPS -- Genetic Lifeform and Global Positioning System -- should satisfy the rest of us.
 
This voice file for Garmin Nuvi GPS units simulates the voice of Portal's antagonistic Artificial Intelligence rather well and would surely put a smile on the face of any gamers sharing a ride. It's not official of course, but it does the trick. 
 
Just don't plot a course for any bakeries. I have a feeling that journey may be a lie.

Continue: More Portal stories





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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26

MrSadistic's Avatar
MrSadistic at 06/30/2008 12:18
It's official: mankind is fukkin doomed. DOOMED.
Toneman's Avatar
Toneman at 06/30/2008 12:19
That GPS was a triumph.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 06/30/2008 12:21
I'm still waiting for the vehicle-mounted portal gun.
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 06/30/2008 12:22
I won't believe it until it tries to drive people into trenches.
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 06/30/2008 12:22
On fire.
njsykora's Avatar
njsykora at 06/30/2008 12:24
Oh god here come the cake jokes again, I can feel them.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 06/30/2008 12:28
Wow, what up random?
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 06/30/2008 12:34
I'm making a note here, huge success
nintendoll's Avatar
nintendoll at 06/30/2008 12:41
It's all fun and games until it tells you that you're adopted and no one cares about you.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 06/30/2008 12:42
Wait what!?

It said turn right but it went left.
NightDehumidifier's Avatar
NightDehumidifier at 06/30/2008 12:46
I just checked the calendar, it's been over eight months since Portal came out. The Portal fanservice well is bone dry.
Toneman's Avatar
Toneman at 06/30/2008 12:54
If I bought that, it would be hard to overstate my satisfaction.
linuxguy's Avatar
linuxguy at 06/30/2008 13:13
the destination is a lie.
sorry had to
thelowestpartisfree's Avatar
thelowestpartisfree at 06/30/2008 13:17
man, I had this idea months ago. But now I totally want one!
kaciesaurus's Avatar
kaciesaurus at 06/30/2008 13:21
download link

we'll be trying this out. If I'm not here in a few days, you know what happened.
MisterMingo's Avatar
MisterMingo at 06/30/2008 14:12
THE CAKE IS A LIE!

LOLOLOLOLOL

THIS JOKE ISN'T AT ALL STALE AND ANNOYING

That said, this GPS is awesome. I want one.
David Houghton 's Avatar
David Houghton at 06/30/2008 15:02
I want to buy car so that I can buy a GPS and use that.
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 06/30/2008 15:35
This is how it begins, in a single device, then skynet went online... wait, i missed something.

Ok, I want that thingie.
rpbowlinggod's Avatar
rpbowlinggod at 06/30/2008 15:58
its fake...the guy holding it never moves after he initiates the last touch. plus, there is a bit of a "glitch" right when his hand drops away.
Peteru's Avatar
Peteru at 06/30/2008 16:00
Turn left, turn right, arrive on CAKE destination, where you will be baked and there will be cake.
jamesesdad's Avatar
jamesesdad at 06/30/2008 16:01
I have this gps unit, and it just sounds like this normally...
@ rpbowlinggod if u paid attention you would see that he clicked simulate trip.... try paying attention before posting...
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 06/30/2008 16:19
I have to send this to everybody I know with a Garmin.

Me? I don't drive. =(
Electro Lemon's Avatar
Electro Lemon at 06/30/2008 16:31
Well, I'm trying this out now.
braulio09's Avatar
braulio09 at 06/30/2008 16:37
It's probably for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

cwutididthar?
Kyle's Avatar
Kyle at 07/01/2008 00:18
Most excellent - all it needs to do now is throw in phrases every now and then.
Zelnor's Avatar
Zelnor at 07/01/2008 06:04
"So you want to drive to the nearest Gamestop, huh ?

In 500 meters, please turn left.

Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you managed not to follow the course I calculated. A complimentary secondary course will be calculated in 5...4...3...2...1... *bzzt*

Oh, so you want to go over the freeway ? You want to go there fast ? WELL I WON'T LET YOU !

How does that feel ?"
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