A recent FileFront editorial treats a topic near and dear to all our hearts -- boobs in video games. However, even though the article's author identifies himself as "someone who enjoys eye candy as much as the next man," he then thrusts the blade of betrayal into our breasts by positing that there's actually something bad about the cutting-edge advancements in breast physics.
Um, dude? What's wrong with you?
The article suggests that the mammiferous undulations of bountiful bosoms cresting corpulent crescendoes in our video games might "set unrealistic expectations for young male gamers when they actually encounter the real thing." Someone might want to point out to this guy that breasts in video games are clothed, at least to some extent, and no more graphic than what we might see at the beach. To suggest that gamers never see clothed breasts is tantamount to the rather insulting stereotype of gamers as people who never go outside -- a sentiment the article supports by referencing "the huge number of game designers who simply never got out of the office enough to interact with real women."
The article continues:
The growing ranks of GRRL gamers out there (well most of them anyway) want interesting stories, social dynamics and good action and so should the guys - it's too bad game developers keep delivering breast physics as an answer.
Why can't we have both? ...And did he just call me a GRRL?
"How can any real female ever hope to live up to the fantastic behavior of these modeled mammaries?" the author wants to know.
Well, buddy, I'm not inviting you to play Wii Sports at my house, so you'll just have to wonder.
Contest:
4:30 PM on 07.27.2007
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I didnt do it.
The piece was intended as parody.
Maybe I did too good a job sounding like the people I was trying to lampoon.
Shawn
http://www.farangdingdong.com/
And I thought I was smoking way to much weed right now!
(SFW link)
I totally agree with that. Boob physics, or physics in general, are way down on my list of things that matter to me in game, right next to historical accuracy and HD.
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/27371.html
Did this one for the C:Nocturnal Emissions show, which is the worst title ever. I know.
Way to stereotype, jackhole.
Thank you... goodnight.
Most women don't like over-sexualized female characters in video games. Sorry, Leigh, you're the exception. :[
Also Leigh, I'm envious of your vocabulary - and your ph4t alliteration skills.
I think its quite funny, all of the male protagonists in RPG's and other games are fit and pretty men yet you don't see guys bitching about having to play with sexy bishies.
"Parody doesn't work if you vacillate between sincerity and hyperbole-- that's just weak use of language"
Somewhere between vacillate and sincerity I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!
You like smaller boobs and breast physics?
Nobody else thinks that's hot? Just me?
Now put em on my head while I drink this beer.It helps me think.
You encourage the objectifying of women in videogames and the continuation of society's propensity for making young women feel inadequate? Large breasts are truly a great thing, but the proportions in games are just insane and the percentage of large breasted game characters is ridiculous. I tend not to complain due to an instinctual appreciation for enlarged juggies, but I do sense that it does not set a good example for anyone. I wouldn't want a daughter or a son of mine playing Dead or Alive, for example. Low self esteem and unrealistic expectations aren't feelings I wish to foster.
In fact...
Leigh Alexander: +36 - YOU HAVE GAINED A LEVEL
Thats all I'm sayin'
Sorry to put a downer on what seemed to be a carefree and amusing article, but my soapbox sometimes seems to be glued to my feet.
Amen.
Woot!