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Home Also, bewbs updates

Let boobs flounce free!

4:30 PM on 07.27.2007, Leigh Alexander 86 comments

Let boobs flounce free! photo
     Also, bewbs

A recent FileFront editorial treats a topic near and dear to all our hearts -- boobs in video games. However, even though the article's author identifies himself as "someone who enjoys eye candy as much as the next man," he then thrusts the blade of betrayal into our breasts by positing that there's actually something bad about the cutting-edge advancements in breast physics.

Um, dude? What's wrong with you?

The article suggests that the mammiferous undulations of bountiful bosoms cresting corpulent crescendoes in our video games might "set unrealistic expectations for young male gamers when they actually encounter the real thing." Someone might want to point out to this guy that breasts in video games are clothed, at least to some extent, and no more graphic than what we might see at the beach. To suggest that gamers never see clothed breasts is tantamount to the rather insulting stereotype of gamers as people who never go outside -- a sentiment the article supports by referencing "the huge number of game designers who simply never got out of the office enough to interact with real women."

The article continues:

The growing ranks of GRRL gamers out there (well most of them anyway) want interesting stories, social dynamics and good action and so should the guys - it's too bad game developers keep delivering breast physics as an answer.

 Why can't we have both? ...And did he just call me a GRRL?

"How can any real female ever hope to live up to the fantastic behavior of these modeled mammaries?" the author wants to know.

Well, buddy, I'm not inviting you to play Wii Sports at my house, so you'll just have to wonder.


Next page: More Video game ethics? stories




UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 07/27/2007 16:33
I luv them big but I dont discriminate small b00bs. Its all bout the personality that girls have and sometimes theyre bank account too!
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 07/27/2007 16:33
I luv them big but I dont discriminate small b00bs. Its all bout the personality that girls have and sometimes theyre bank account too!
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 07/27/2007 16:33
I luv them big but I dont discriminate small b00bs. Its all bout the personality that girls have and sometimes theyre bank account too!
xBBx's Avatar
xBBx at 07/27/2007 16:38
@understar: Big boobs...great personality...and rich? And I thought I had some high standards. You my friend need to learn how to prioritize.
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 07/27/2007 16:38
^^^^^
I didnt do it.
PappaDukes's Avatar
PappaDukes at 07/27/2007 16:40
Wow, uderstar really luvs them big. Either that or his jimmy-finger spazzed out on the add comment button. Anywho, I still don't get what's so unrealistic about video game breasts. I've never known a single woman that didn't have torpedoes for tits. KIDDING. But seriously, I am one of those guys that doesn't get into overly large breasts. Or even large breast for that matter. Call me old fashioned...
ShawnS's Avatar
ShawnS at 07/27/2007 16:41
I see I missed my mark:)

The piece was intended as parody.

Maybe I did too good a job sounding like the people I was trying to lampoon.

Shawn
PappaDukes's Avatar
PappaDukes at 07/27/2007 16:42
Wow, uderstar really luvs them big. Either that or his jimmy-finger spazzed out on the add comment button. Anywho, I still don't get what's so unrealistic about video game breasts. I've never known a single woman that didn't have torpedoes for tits. KIDDING. But seriously, I am one of those guys that doesn't get into overly large breasts. Or even large breast for that matter. Call me old fashioned...
xBBx's Avatar
xBBx at 07/27/2007 16:43
That reminds me, anyone play Ninja Gaiden Sigma? There are times Rachel's breasts are taking up the entire screen... and jiggling to annoying levels where even I begin to question if it's really necessary.
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 07/27/2007 16:43
Speaking bout fake big b00bs,(DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!)
http://www.farangdingdong.com/
PappaDukes's Avatar
PappaDukes at 07/27/2007 16:45
ok, I think someone hijacked Dtoid. Or Niero is hitting the sauce again... either way, these posts are jacked.
ShawnS's Avatar
ShawnS at 07/27/2007 16:46
Leigh: You did? It doesn't read that way above.
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 07/27/2007 16:47
@PappaDukes
And I thought I was smoking way to much weed right now!
PappaDukes's Avatar
PappaDukes at 07/27/2007 16:49
@understar: no such thang as smoking too much weed. NEVAR!
Rockvillian's Avatar
Rockvillian at 07/27/2007 16:50
Boobs to the EXTREEEEEME!

(SFW link)
StriderS's Avatar
StriderS at 07/27/2007 16:51
Uh...isn't a big part of gaming all about doing and having what you can't IRL?
Tron Knotts's Avatar
Tron Knotts at 07/27/2007 16:53
I think the point is that when game developers put boob physics before other more important aspects of a game, then the game has wacked priorities.

I totally agree with that. Boob physics, or physics in general, are way down on my list of things that matter to me in game, right next to historical accuracy and HD.
dayeight's Avatar
dayeight at 07/27/2007 16:57
not very proud of this one, but seemed like a good idea at the time: Cinematech's Salute to Breasts
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/27371.html

Did this one for the C:Nocturnal Emissions show, which is the worst title ever. I know.
xBBx's Avatar
xBBx at 07/27/2007 16:57
Did we all forget Dead or Alive Xtreme 2? That had some great boob physics, but sweet jesus, I never returned a GameFly game the same day I received it before. But I couldn't get that game to the post office fast enough!
linuxguy's Avatar
linuxguy at 07/27/2007 17:05
when will they reach the awesomeness level of altair78's avatar
DeusPayne's Avatar
DeusPayne at 07/27/2007 17:06
Cowtits ftl indeed. I enjoy my breast physics in games, by in real life, the floppier, the sloppier... er... yeah. I like how the article is nothing more than a rehashed "BARBIE IS DESTROYING GIRLS EVERYWHERE!" shit that used to fly around. People will write anything to make a quick buck, even if it's completely and udder (PUN!) bullshit.
SLiFE's Avatar
SLiFE at 07/27/2007 17:26
I love the author's use of the term "GRRL gamers."

Way to stereotype, jackhole.
Altair78's Avatar
Altair78 at 07/27/2007 17:35
I posted just because of my avatar... since it fits so perfectly on this thread.

Thank you... goodnight.
wdsnizek's Avatar
wdsnizek at 07/27/2007 17:37
I'm not saying I don't enjoy big boobs.. I mean who doesn't.. but I like regular average size women too.. i basically like all women and think games need to more accurately portray them. I'm sure you guys are going to jump on me for saying that.
ShawnS's Avatar
ShawnS at 07/27/2007 17:38
Leigh: Well we can argue that all day I guess. Thanks for the link.
Oew's Avatar
Oew at 07/27/2007 17:43
http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol11/issue4/hartmann.html

Most women don't like over-sexualized female characters in video games. Sorry, Leigh, you're the exception. :[
ShawnS's Avatar
ShawnS at 07/27/2007 17:47
Leigh: Well we can argue that all day I guess. Thanks for the link.
Tino's Avatar
Tino at 07/27/2007 17:48
So, since he isn't can I come by and play Wii Sports at your place?
Rhythm's Avatar
Rhythm at 07/27/2007 17:50
While I can empathize with Leigh's opinion on the topic, it was pretty obvious Shawn was making more of a sneering gesture towards those people who view these little details as 'ills of the world'.

Also Leigh, I'm envious of your vocabulary - and your ph4t alliteration skills.
Pangloss's Avatar
Pangloss at 07/27/2007 17:57
"The moral of this story, kids, is that you can't read sarcasm on the internets. Unless, at the end of your article, you add," he said sardonically.
generaldane's Avatar
generaldane at 07/27/2007 18:01
i love them just like how they are depicted in my avatar
electroplankton's Avatar
electroplankton at 07/27/2007 18:20
Boobs suck. It's all about wangs. Yeah that's right. I said it.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar
Kyousuke Nanbu at 07/27/2007 18:23
Even though this is a joke, some girls gamers do complain about this.

I think its quite funny, all of the male protagonists in RPG's and other games are fit and pretty men yet you don't see guys bitching about having to play with sexy bishies.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 07/27/2007 18:30
First a discusson on boos, and then:

"Parody doesn't work if you vacillate between sincerity and hyperbole-- that's just weak use of language"

Somewhere between vacillate and sincerity I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 07/27/2007 18:31
Boooooooooooooooooooo_s! /mode +b
SniperFodder's Avatar
SniperFodder at 07/27/2007 18:38
@Liegh
You like smaller boobs and breast physics?

Nobody else thinks that's hot? Just me?
SniperFodder's Avatar
SniperFodder at 07/27/2007 18:39
I fail at english
Ritalin Twitch's Avatar
Ritalin Twitch at 07/27/2007 19:21
Lets face it guys, if it wasn't for boobs we'd never buy a house. And thats strictly because if you live in a cardboard box, no chick would ever show you hers. The lengths we go to for a little milk silo action....

Now put em on my head while I drink this beer.It helps me think.
SniperFodder's Avatar
SniperFodder at 07/27/2007 19:56
All I can say is...damn. I gotta go.
TheBrain's Avatar
TheBrain at 07/27/2007 19:59
Wait, what?

You encourage the objectifying of women in videogames and the continuation of society's propensity for making young women feel inadequate? Large breasts are truly a great thing, but the proportions in games are just insane and the percentage of large breasted game characters is ridiculous. I tend not to complain due to an instinctual appreciation for enlarged juggies, but I do sense that it does not set a good example for anyone. I wouldn't want a daughter or a son of mine playing Dead or Alive, for example. Low self esteem and unrealistic expectations aren't feelings I wish to foster.
Tron Knotts's Avatar
Tron Knotts at 07/27/2007 20:01
Leigh- Are you just "identifying with the oppressor" by objectifying video game boob women? It's ok if you are. I'm not here to judge.

In fact...



Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 07/27/2007 20:18
I think it would be easier for me to number and name the types of breasts that I DON'T like. In other words, I love almost all of them. They've got to be pretty awful-looking for me to say no to them. Breasts are just fantastic creations. I really couldn't care less about their video game representation, though. Bouncy physics are (is?) always a hoot, but I don't need it.

Leigh Alexander: +36 - YOU HAVE GAINED A LEVEL
SniperFodder's Avatar
SniperFodder at 07/27/2007 20:28
All I can say is I'm glad they don't publish games where the guys have ginormous wangs running around on screen. That would just be gross.
Churchhills Dog's Avatar
Churchhills Dog at 07/27/2007 20:31
We need more chicks like Leigh.

Thats all I'm sayin'
TheBrain's Avatar
TheBrain at 07/27/2007 20:36
If you present triple E as the ideal cup size, and this is repeated in all forms of media, not just videogames, it will have an effect. It isn't about how we treat people, its about how people feel about themselves. Going beyond breasts, it is quite obvious that an intense focus on thin models and actresses plays a role in disorders such as anorexia. It does take strength of character to be comfortable with who you are and immune to such influence, as you seem to be, but I still find it disheartening when people encourage it.

Sorry to put a downer on what seemed to be a carefree and amusing article, but my soapbox sometimes seems to be glued to my feet.
SniperFodder's Avatar
SniperFodder at 07/27/2007 20:39
@Churchhills Dog

Amen.
BlackbeardonGuitar's Avatar
BlackbeardonGuitar at 07/27/2007 20:43
Seriously, what the fuck, who cares, any breats work for me, but hilariously large ones are funnier. I don't play videogames to replicate the real world, I play them for the exact opposite, because shit can be pulled off that you can't do in the real world. That's why I hate any game that makes you eat fucking food, I know how to eat, it's pretty fucking simple, pushing buttons to make it happen sucks. But I digress, boobs of all sizes are welcome at my door. I'm open-minded. And this truly is a brave new world. All hail breasts.
SniperFodder's Avatar
SniperFodder at 07/27/2007 20:55
All hail breasts!

Woot!
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