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Let boobs flounce free!

4:30 PM on 07.27.2007

A recent FileFront editorial treats a topic near and dear to all our hearts -- boobs in video games. However, even though the article's author identifies himself as "someone who enjoys eye candy as much as the next man," he then thrusts the blade of betrayal into our breasts by positing that there's actually something bad about the cutting-edge advancements in breast physics.

Um, dude? What's wrong with you?

The article suggests that the mammiferous undulations of bountiful bosoms cresting corpulent crescendoes in our video games might "set unrealistic expectations for young male gamers when they actually encounter the real thing." Someone might want to point out to this guy that breasts in video games are clothed, at least to some extent, and no more graphic than what we might see at the beach. To suggest that gamers never see clothed breasts is tantamount to the rather insulting stereotype of gamers as people who never go outside -- a sentiment the article supports by referencing "the huge number of game designers who simply never got out of the office enough to interact with real women."

The article continues:

The growing ranks of GRRL gamers out there (well most of them anyway) want interesting stories, social dynamics and good action and so should the guys - it's too bad game developers keep delivering breast physics as an answer.

 Why can't we have both? ...And did he just call me a GRRL?

"How can any real female ever hope to live up to the fantastic behavior of these modeled mammaries?" the author wants to know.

Well, buddy, I'm not inviting you to play Wii Sports at my house, so you'll just have to wonder.

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