I woke up yesterday to find a hilarious review by Kif for a porno called Left 4 Head. I finally got around to watching it now and just ... just wow.
The "story" finds Zoey searching for Louis and any other possible survivors in an abandoned house. A Smoker stumbles upon Zoey in the house and uses its tongue to tie Zoey up. But wait! That's not his tongue at all! IT'S HIS PENIS!
After two minutes of her awkwardly gagging on the tentacle penis, Zoey disposes of the Smoker and makes her way further into the house. She then comes across a Hunter and that’s when we see a six minute long blow job scene ... and Zoey's tramp stamp.
I’m not going to link to the video, but if you have any Matlocking skills at all, you can find it yourself. It’s really not worth the effort though. Or you can just read Kif’s review and spare your eyes the pain.
Seriously, it didn’t even make me hard.
Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy.
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Contest:
2:30 AM on 02.24.2009
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I just found out there is a sequel named Left 4 Anal.
Slag Tag is the only term for a Slag Tag.
And thanks again Hamza for the status of your dick after watching this.
By the way, Carli Banks gets my keyboard all sticky...
All I have to say, is "WHAT!?!?! REALLY!?!?!? REEEEAAAALLLLYYYY!!!!?!?!?!"
This shit is bananas.
but blowie.........no really
I can't stop laughing, this is hilarious...
But in a good way.
No joke though, I will never play L4D the same after that. If you saw it and you play as Zoey and get Smokered... yeah...
There's going to be an upcoming porn site called "Gears of Whores".
loooooooool
in the context of Left 4 Dead this is so bad and random it's hilarious.
Also the chick seemed pretty decent right up until she got a dick in her mouth. Those were some of the worst six minutes of my life. I fast forwarded through the video at 3x speed but it took me a few minutes to recover from those noises.
Hahahahaha!
more like Ass Antlers.
I couldn't stop laughing, this was so awkwardly bad.
TEAM FUCKING 2. GET ON IT.
But I commend Left 4 Head for bringing some sort of creativity to the stagnant porno scene.
Left 4 Anal, with the exception of the sperm-shooting Boomer parody, wasn't as good.