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Animal Crossing: New Leaf  



Kotaku lied: Nintendo loves penises AND butts!


11:15 AM on 05.09.2013
Kotaku lied: Nintendo loves penises AND butts! photo



In a recent article on Kotaku, writer Patricia Hernandez pointed out that, while Nintendo will censor asses, it has no problem showcasing a delicious penis. 

She used Animal Crossing: New Leaf as evidence, criticizing Nintendo's hypocrisy for censoring an ass in Fire Emblem while allowing Michelangelo's David to strut his stiffening stuff. Well, like her, I also have New Leaf, and I can confirm Animal Crossing is actually pretty consistent with the dong-to-derriere ratio. 

After getting a visit from art dealer Redd in my own town (the noble town of Chungus), my eyes were naturally drawn to the pebbly posterior you see before you. While Kotaku would have you believe that Nintendo is anti-bum, I have evidence that it considers both the front and the back door equally valid -- at least as far as New Leaf is concerned. 

Our scientists have zoomed in on the offending article, and enhanced the image, allowing you to have a really close look at the contours of each plump cheek, as well as observe the shading definition at the point where two innocent thighs become unmistakable territory for sin and degradation. 

The so-called "Robust Statue" may be art, or it may be base pornography. That all depends on your sensibilities and standing with the Good Lord. The undeniable truth, however, is that Nintendo is not hiding all the asses from us. Nintendo deserves better than to be viewed as some sort of anal Gargamel, kidnapping our rumps for selfish endeavors. 

Why did Kotaku hide this from you? Was it part of some anti-penis agenda? That's not for me to say. That is for you to say -- a lot. Like, all the time. Start saying it now. 

I'm doing videogame journalism.





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Animal Crossing: New Leaf



4:30 PM on 03.19.2014
Animal Crossing is so successful because of its diverse team

Almost half of the people that worked on Animal Crossing: New Leaf are women. When its director Aya Kyogoku started with Nintendo in 2003, she was the only female game designer there. A decade later and that's no longer the c...more



11:00 AM on 01.31.2014
These Club Nintendo Animal Crossing posters are 'dawwsome

I know people that are still playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Heck, I know people that are still playing old Animal Crossing games. Such is the staying power of this Nintendo franchise, and now, you can celeb...more



11:00 AM on 10.03.2013
Caveat Crossing: Win a 3DS, New Leaf bedroom makeover

Channel One News is putting on a contest wherein you can win a 3DS XL, a copy of Animal Crossing: New Leaf, and a bunch of Animal Crossing decor to makeover your bedroom with. That means you can finally get rid of that disgus...more



11:45 AM on 10.01.2013
Grab Link's Wind Waker shirt in Animal Crossing: New Leaf

In this morning's Nintendo Direct, it was really easy to miss a small bit of news regarding Animal Crossing: New Leaf -- Link's shirt from the beginning of Wind Waker is totally free! All you have to do is go straight to the ...more



1:00 AM on 09.05.2013
Attack on Titan X Animal Crossing: New Leaf

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3:00 PM on 07.17.2013
Animal Crossing New Leaf opening theme orchestrated

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4:30 PM on 07.13.2013
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2:30 PM on 07.09.2013
You need to hear this Animal Crossing: New Leaf cover

Trips to the island in Animal Crossing: New Leaf will never be the same after listening to these Kapp'n covers by YouTube user misterrandell. Hauntingly beautiful, yet at the same time uplifting. He says he's been "totally o...more



10:00 AM on 06.23.2013
Only the lonely don't own Animal Crossing: New Leaf

Times are tough for those in certain circles that that don't have the new Animal Crossing. Depending on who you run with on the internet, your Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter feeds could currently be filled to the brim with pic...more



9:00 PM on 06.21.2013
Reggie's Animal Crossing home has his face on a bed

Have you ever wondered how the other half live? Wonder no more. Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime gives an all access look at his Animal Crossing: New Leaf home in this adorable video. Plus, he drops some proper...more




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