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Yeah, you'll learn the hard way, son. "Lucky" children all over the world unwrapped their presents on Christmas Day and, according to an unhealthy amount of Youtube videos, went thoroughly insane. My prediction is that, by now, the waggle boxes are already sitting untouched on the floor.

The above video, as spotted on Kotaku, is the thing that nightmares are made of. He screams like he's being raped, murdered and losing a bet at the same time. And then comes the dancing ... oh God the dancing. If you dare to watch, just be warned that it is not funny, not even in a "so bad it's good" kind of way. It will just make you want to find the nearest doctor and beg him for a cheap vasectomy. 

There's another video after the jump, equally unbearable and guaranteed to make your sperm shrivel up and die. I'm just glad that my wife's boy's a nihilist and doesn't seem to care about anything, even Christmas, because I could not cope with that kind of behavior ... especially over a Wii.

 
This video is from a family of ten. I can't stand people who have that many kids in these overpopulated times, but I take some solace from the fact that right now, the sheer amount of kids in the house is probably leading to the some intense fighting over who gets to play on the Wii. In fact, I kind of get a boner imagining the conflict.
 
There are some more posted, but others seem either staged or not very interesting. Not that these are interesting, but you get what I mean. Never have children, dear readers. And if you do have some -- drown them quickly.

Continue: More wii stories





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65 comments | showing # 51 to 65

Darth Kupi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 18:02
Darth Kupi
@ Vhaius

Your uncle is WINNAR!

Seriously, why would anyone who is actually into games want a Wii over a 360/PS3?
Nitex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 19:15
Nitex
Ha, I remember back at E3 when Nintendo first showed the Wii, everyone and their mother thought it was going to flop and finally kill off Nintendo. Then people said it was only a fad and within a year it would be dead. Two years later and not only is it still going strong, it's putting the 360 and PS3 to shame. It's funny how so many people hate the Wii for it's extreme success. It pains them to see something like the Wii put their favorite consoles to shame. I think Nintendo deserves to be on the top again. Sure they are rarely putting out games that it's first audience would play, but I have to admit some of the family games are actually fun with.... well the family. Surprisingly my family plays the Wii every single day. Shocking, no?
robotbebop's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 19:41
robotbebop
holy GOD... I love how the screaming in the second one was so much that it turned into garbled sound distortion not unlike something from The Downward Spiral. I call it the Downward Waggle, GET IT?! I made a snarky waggle joke, do I get internet points now?
bastardmaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 20:27
bastardmaster
Christmas or pig slaughter? the blind cant tell the difference
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 22:06
Dexter345
Holy. Crap.
Pariah's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 23:02
Pariah
The wii library this year looks hot for the hardcore.
Conduit, Mad World, Murmosa: Dragon Blade, No More Heroes 2, Punch Out. Hell, Ghostbusters could be awesome?! I think I should buy a Wii, again. Sold my last one for PS3 money.
DemonEyes23's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/27/2008 23:14
DemonEyes23
does he know the wii isn't that good. Someone should tell him.
Skyllus vBi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/28/2008 15:38
Skyllus vBi
Is no one bothered that the commentator mentioned he would get a boner from seeing the children fight...?
homer454's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/28/2008 16:26
homer454
………………….._,,~’’’ŻŻŻ’’~,,
………………..,‘’ ; ; ;_,,,,_ ; ;’’,…………………………….._,,,,,_………………
……………….,’ ; ; ;,‘ , , , , , ‘, ; ;’,,,,~~’’’’’’~,,,_…..,,~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’,……………
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; Ż’’~’,,_ ,,~’’ , , ‘, ;’, …………
……………….’, ; ; ‘, ,~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’, , , , , ,’ ; |…………
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , ,‘ ;,‘…………
………………….,’‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’‘ ;,,‘…………..
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,’……………..
………………,‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,‘’Ż: : ’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,……………..
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : :| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,‘’Ż: Ż’’, ; ; ;’,…………….
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,_: : _,‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : :| ; ; ; |……………
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ŻŻ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,,_ : :,‘ ; ; ; ;|…C'mon...
…………..,‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,~’’ , , , , ,,,~~, , , , _ ; ; ;ŻŻ ; ; ; ; ;|..it's Christmas!
…………,‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : :) , , , ,’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|................
GohanGVO's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2008 00:29
GohanGVO
That'll learn me to have the volume up.
j00zt1n's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2008 02:09
j00zt1n
Aaahahahahaha I love when he starts BENCH-PRESSING it.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2008 13:21
Holyetheline
Birth Control ftw!
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/01/2009 00:32
The Amazing Shenazin
aw man the second video is gone :(
elsteveo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/04/2009 20:04
elsteveo
Yeah i hope they have fun playing Wii sports till the next Wii comes out
Da5StarRMD's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/05/2009 16:37
Da5StarRMD
OMG A WIIIIII!!!!!!
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