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Kid steals dad's credit card, buys videogames, hookers, and blow photo

Okay, so we made up the "blow" part. But he's headed down that path, right?

A 13-year-old Texan boy ordered a credit card in his dad's name. That's already pretty cool. But he wins because he ordered a couple of hookers from a local escort service. He also, of course, picked up an Xbox 360 so that he could play Halo 3 with these hired ladies of the night.

Wherever you are right now, Ralph Hardy of Newark, Texas, you deserve a high five. Other news outlets may cast a negative light on your "adventure," but not us. We're envious of the $30,000 shopping spree that you took your friends on. And sure, you were convicted of fraud and given three years' worth of community service. But you're an internet legend now. 

The hookers were let off the [*cough*] hook because "the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business." Lame, guys!

Who spoiled this epic party? It was the hotel staff, who was stuck serving the lucky little f*ckers. I guess jealousy got the best of the staff, who had been delivering Fritos and Dr Pepper up to their hotel room. The sly little bastards told staff that they were rolling in cash from a recent victory at a World of Warcraft tournament and wanted to get some relaxation.

When the police showed up, they found $3,000 in cash, the Xbox 360, a ton of games and gadgets, and of course, our ladies of the night. Ralph said that his dad wouldn't mind this epic blowout, as he didn't receive a birthday present. Dad said that he had a surprise trip to Disneyland lined up.

Mr. Hardy, your son had much more fun that night than any Disneyland trip.

[Via Money








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Dale North is Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief, a founding editor, and specialist in Japanese gaming. An accomplished musician, Dale was reporting from Japan during the earthquakes of 2011. Luckily, he got the fuck out alive and is home in America now with his wife and beloved corgi, Einstein. Dale is also a co-founder of Destructoid's sister anime site Japanator. Likes Corgis, Sega Saturn, PSP, iPhone, Photographic tools. Meet the rest of the team



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37 comments | showing # 1 to 37
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dtomek's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:48
dtomek
Sooo legendary. Other than the fact they did not prioritize correctly. Take the limited services first and then utilize the renewable services after, duh.
DeusPayne's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:48
DeusPayne
Sounds fake. And other sites are reporting it as such. There was no police report in the town that this supposedly took place in.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:48
deiga-the-semivaliant
LOL, I can imagine the hookers in their skimpy outfits sitting on the beds uncomfortably, watching a bunch of kids stare at the screen playing Halo 3.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:49
king3vbo
This kid is my hero
Geoff Henao's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:49
Geoff Henao
This kid is so win, baby. I mean, you know, he was better off picking up a PS3 of course, but it is what it is.
Jack_SkellingtonXX's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:51
Jack_SkellingtonXX
That's incredible. Makes me wish I knew who my dad was.
lethaljim's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:51
lethaljim
this kid wins at life
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:52
galagabug
ralph hardy for prez. i love this kid so hard.

-reaprar i posted it a few days ago in the cblog, this is 1st appearance on front page.
Remo's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:54
Remo
This kid is an inspiration to us all and we should all hold ourselves up to his high slandered.
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:58
Rifter01
In my best Adam Sandler voice:

"A turkey for you
A hooker for me
A turkey lurkey do and a xbox 360 dap
My hooker played so much halo 3 she took a little nap."
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:01
B-Radicate
As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Reaprar (I kid). This was posted last week wasn't it?

Still cool, just have seen it on the front page already.
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:12
Teta
Blaming video games for stupidity in 3..2..1...
masterledz's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:16
masterledz
Yep, it was in the c-blogs:
Galagabug Internet Matlockery FTW
geekjutsu's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:30
geekjutsu
A few friends of mine were going to tour Europe the summer before College a few years back. I gave them the idea that once in Amsterdam, that they should hire some hookers and just make them play Halo with them.
Guess these kids had the same idea.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:38
Sharpless
This is supposedly fake, according to GamePolitics. The police spokesperson couldn't find any evidence that it actually happened. Also, this has hoax written all over it.

Come on, guys. Do a little research before posting.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:40
AgentMOO
When you drive over them afterwards, does it void the pending debit?
monosylabik's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:46
monosylabik
man those hookers finally got with the program with the credit card thing...thats awesome news.
moot button's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:47
moot button
God bless Texas, and all its mutants
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:51
GuitarAtomik
This totally sounds like an early 90s kids movie. I can't help but smile every time I imagine a scene from this thing.
Rainbowblack's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:51
Rainbowblack
hookers and 13 year old playing halo

you guys ate this story? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Schmo0zle's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:56
Schmo0zle
"Wake up, little Jimmy! I've got a surprise for you! WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY LAND!"

*Hung over* "Huh...Wha...What? Man, fuck Goofy and Mickey. I got wasted and scored with some hookers on GTA IV...AND IRL! EPIC WIN!"

"Fuck you, son. Fuck you."
Brocklesocks's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:57
Brocklesocks
I have a friend who was in a band and while they were on tour, they bought themselves a hooker. When they got her back to the hotel room, there was the whole band with a pizza waiting for her. They said they just wanted to watch her eat a pizza (though she refused). To me, that was the best hooker story up to this point. A respectful nod and kudos to you, kid.
SuperD1984's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 13:59
SuperD1984
I wish it were true! weeeeeen :)
Roryzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 14:14
Roryzilla
This kid is LEGEND.
RawwrBag's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 14:32
RawwrBag
Honestly, it doesn't sound very plausible.
Trevor McGee's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 14:38
Trevor McGee
Yup, it was a hoax story, it didn't actually happen.
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 15:27
bleep
If I was 13 again and had already paid for hookers..theres no way Im not getting down to business with them
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 16:19
Jetsetlemming
World of Warcraft tournament? Lawl. Whomever invented this hoax was a genius.
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 16:53
Syn
What the fuck, I don't care how "cool" it was, that little cock sucker needs more than community service. He needs his peepee whacked so fucking hard! Then he should have been tried as an adult just because this sort of stupidity pisses me off.
OhJAM's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 17:42
OhJAM
Hey, at least he got to play Halo with chicks wearing lingerie. That's a feat I don't think too many men have been able to pull off, so it scores him some points. And at 13 years of age, to boot.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 17:52
Sharpless
Um, sorry for my last comment. I didn't mean to sound obnoxious in the last part.
drogaz1's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/16/2008 22:43
drogaz1
Um...Dale, I would edit the post to say it was fake if I where you. If it is real though I absolutely do not condone this kids actions. He should have totally had sex with the hookers after he played video games with them.
drogaz1's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/16/2008 22:46
drogaz1
@Gaarfunkel, that movie probably had the most messed up and inappropriate ending for a kids movie ever. Along with Jack Frost.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/17/2008 00:01
Bob Muir
Yep, heard this was fake as well, though it would be epic if it was real.
adultswim810's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/18/2008 18:13
adultswim810
i totally remember blank check
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