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JosephGate 2008: Paladin held for questioning

9:41 AM on 04.01.2008, Topher Cantler 24 comments

JosephGate 2008: Paladin held for questioning photo
     Sex

Following this morning's bone-splintering hard news reports, (brought to you first by FOXTOID,) Joseph Leray's new overlord, Dan Paladin, has been cuffed and brought to our news bunker for interrogation via satellite. Paladin willfully admitted to the corruption of Mr. Leray, as shown in this direct transcript from an interview conducted by FOXTOID senior analyst, Geraldo Beedog:

FOXTOID: Mr. Paladin, how do you respond to these allegations of witchcraft and the twisting of Joseph Leray's moral integrity?

Paladin: Toph? Why are you calling me? It's 7am.

FOXTOID: Geraldo Beedog of FOXTOID news here, Mr. Paladin, please answer the question. The public has a right to know the truth.

Paladin: Seriously, cut it out. Do you have that 8 bucks you owe me? 

The transmission was suddenly lost at this point, most likely because I don't have the $8 of Paladin's advanced mind control techniques, and their tendency to interfere with satellite signals. No word yet on the condition or whereabouts of Joseph Leray, but trust in the mighty, news-breaking righteousness of FOXTOID to bring you the latest developments. 


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NightDehumidifier's Avatar
NightDehumidifier at 04/01/2008 09:45
Pansy liberal on his little queergadget to talk to his friends in San Francisco about arranging homoerotic love-ins while flag burning.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 04/01/2008 09:50
Geraldo Beedog is America's 2nd greatest hero, rigth behind Stephen Colbert.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 04/01/2008 09:50
(rigth is olde english for right*)
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 04/01/2008 09:55
Be wary of those Paladins Geraldo Beedog... they can cast Holy Strike.
kamakazi's Avatar
kamakazi at 04/01/2008 09:56
oiy just get an iphone or is that icup?
NightDehumidifier's Avatar
NightDehumidifier at 04/01/2008 10:04
Stephen Colbert is a hack. A fake. Phony. He's the Avril Lavigne of conservative pundits.
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 04/01/2008 10:09
The kicker is he'll be near impossible to apprehend unless his bubble-hearth is on cooldown. Also, geraldo beedog for presidente.
Snaileb 's Avatar
Snaileb at 04/01/2008 10:11
Geraldo Beedog of FOXTOID news!

HAHAHAHAHA STACHE!
tkyy's Avatar
tkyy at 04/01/2008 10:26
I hope the grandchildren of those poor old men and women to have sex in heaven
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 04/01/2008 10:38
those damn mind control devices!!
Burn!! Burn in hell!
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 04/01/2008 10:39
SPAM FLASH OF LIGHT
Redzie's Avatar
Redzie at 04/01/2008 10:49
did you get to fork him? dont get kinfed.
brosef's Avatar
brosef at 04/01/2008 10:57
I hear Paladin hates America. Terrorist?

We turn now to our panel for discussion.
Teta's Avatar
Teta at 04/01/2008 11:39
I bought Geraldo Beedog`s depilation wax for 2 bucks on my local store.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 04/01/2008 12:07
Waterboarding is a completely legitimate and legal method of questioning.
adultswim810's Avatar
adultswim810 at 04/01/2008 12:24
nerf pallys!
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 04/01/2008 16:41
I must not have been aware of his mind control techniques previously, but I certainly am now? I mean, why else would I have such a sick obsession with wanting to play Castle Crashers again? Please send help. Dan Paladin has me under his spell.
Eschatos's Avatar
Eschatos at 04/01/2008 17:17
That bastard.
Aziel13's Avatar
Aziel13 at 04/01/2008 17:51
OH lordy
NegFactor's Avatar
NegFactor at 04/01/2008 18:29
Are we even certain that Dan Paladin is the mastermind? Could there be someone even further up the chain?!
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 04/01/2008 22:30
I love Mr. Beedog.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar
HarassmentPanda at 04/02/2008 11:27
More Beedog!
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