Jenna Jameson is a star. How do I know? Because my girlfriend has her on her MySpace top 48 ...
before me. Somehow that's okay and doesn't make her bi-curious with a crush on that chick from the EB Games down the street, but when I put Jenna on my friends list I'm suddenly a pig and just like "Ethan", whoever the hell that is. Whatever ho, I created you, I can destroy you!
Um, so anyway, Jenna Jameson was at Comic-Con last week pimping out her new comic book. The AIDS aura emanating from her booth kept me at a distance, and seeing several of her fans run in that general direction and then abruptly disintegrate like in Mars Attacks! didn't help either. The best I can do is this intelligence-soaked video where Ms. Jameson describes feminism as a "fun, mythological story". You go girl!
Now that she has decided to hang up the vagina and reap the rewards of her many years of hard, throbbing labor, it's inevitable that things like a book, a movie based on that book, a comic book, a clothing line, a toy line, a Best of Jenna soundtrack, an extremely ironic Tito and Jenna sex tape, and eventually a video game, will all make their way to store shelves.
After all, they made a game based on VIP, and that show could have had Pamela Andersen reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to a bunch of retarded burn victims and it still would have been awesome. Personally, Jenna's looking a bit dried up lately. I'm gonna hold out for a Jesse Jane comic / videogame / pillow case.
So, what kind of game do you think Jenna should have? Have you seen her ping pong trick? It should definitely be included as a mini-game.
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21 comments + 95764 views
How's about a sandbox-style, GTA-type thing, where instead of climbing to the top of your mob / gangland empire, you climb to the top of...wait for it...a PORN empire. Oh, you saw that coming?
You start out on the lowly streets of...wherever Jenna grew up. You work as a stripper, so there'd be little rythym based mini-games while you bump and grind on the stage. All the while you make contacts who gives you little missions to do -- deliver this batch of drugs, service this icky porn producer, etc. etc.
While it would never happen, it would definitely be a blast on the Wii. Just imagine what you could do with the Wiimote in a game like this. Or, you know, don't. Because, come to think of it, that's sort of disturbing.
You realize you'd be playing as the chick, right?
She already has a game, kinda, right? She has that 3d sex game with her likeness and "voicework" in it.
An .flv file download? Tsk tsk.
I You Tube'd the "intelligence-soaked video" for ya. :D
Well, of course you'd be playing as the chick. But chicks can do things with...well, things. You know? Those things. Starts with a D, ends in ILDO. Just saying.
Yeah dude, but then YOU would be doing those things too. Like when you play a game of Bomberman Live and own three people at once, you don't turn to your girlfriend and go "Did you see what Green Bomberman just did?!" No, you say "Did you see what I just did?"
Thats gross.
Lol.
Shaking the Wiimote to get top score for sucking a cock is not..
I refuse to even finish that sentence.
*refuse to even finish that sentence
Correction - I threw up a lil bit in my mouth and decided not to finish my post.
I quite agree. Which is why I closed my original comment with "come to think of it, that's sort of disturbing." One of those ideas that seems great when it starts, but after a few moments contemplation, doesn't seem so fantastic anymore.
Or do you mean the whole game in general, and not the just Wiimote part? Okay, I can sort of see that point. But is it really any better to say, "Hey, wow, look what I just did!" after blowing up two dozen cops, stealing a car, and racing back to your hideout in GTA, than it is to say the same thing after screwing a dozen different guys and successfully avoiding a crippling STD?
I think a more interesting question would be, if it was released on the 360, what would the achievements be?
Whoever cropped that picture is a bastard.
One of the few funny VGCats.
Anyway, this chick used to be a smokin' hottie. Now she's just old and plastic surgery-ed up. Ain't that a bitch?
I'm guessing this game will be AO, and for the PC.
But I would play the sandbox game as defined by lewzr. That would be nuts.
A bit dried up? She looks fucking hideous these days.
Were this videogame based on Penny Flame, Felix Vicious, Susana Spears or Belladonna, we'd be talking. Based on Jennator however? Big fat pass.
Am I the first person to point out the irony of this comic being published by Virgin?
I'm thinking the game could be Trauma Center-esque wherein you unbotch a botched vaginoplasty. Now you can make Jenna's vag the way YOU want it. I smell millions of post coital dollars in that venture.
Darkwood, are you suggesting that Jenna has... done "it"?
Before we go casting stones at whores, we must first remember they are the reason most of us get laid.
God bless the whores, may they continue to provide many a nervous nerd their first handjob.
@Jon
I think Virgin publishing the comic is suitable. After all, it will be all those lonely, virgin, man-children who will be buying it.
Yea, for side boobs.. Wrinkled botox side boobs i might add...
A videogame based on Belladonna? That would be freaky...
wait...she's not dead? Wow, I'm behind in my whore news. I need to catch up.
I can't belive we're about almost two dozen replies in and still no one even said a thing about Virtual Jenna. Hell my friend who worked at a porn shop at one point in time told me they had the Virtual Jenna game with "attachment".
So, how's that heroin workin' out for you? Not too great, eh?
Botched vaginoplasty my fat white ass.
"A videogame based on Belladonna? That would be freaky..."
Freaky AWESOME, you mean.
@Sterling
No, just regular freaky. Infact, I find it odd you know so many pornstars names.
lol I remember a few years ago Belladonna was on dateline nbc to talk about how the pornography industry had ruined her life because she "was alienated from her family, and friends and blah blah blah" but they spliced this image of her crying about it with blurred images of her sucking off a black guy. Classy NBC, real classy.
@tazarthayoot:
"but they spliced this image of her crying about it with blurred images of her sucking off a black guy. Classy NBC, real classy."
HAHA. That made my day.
Suprisingly she didn't give the stereotypical model interview. Basically she wasn't a COMPLETE moron in front of the camera... although I've yet to see a model interviewed about something that didn't try to take on that whole "independant and strong women" approach...
@Distrato
MILFs are where it's at, dawg. Come on.
I've never been into any of these popular porn stars, really. Not that I wouldn't fap, or haven't fapped, to them, of course. They're just not my thing, though, in general. I had to turn the interview off because it was getting too vapid.
She actually does have a game already. Sorta. No, I'm not linking it. Screw you.
I, uh, played an old demo. Meh. It wasn't the real thing, let's just put it that way.
She's slowly becoming that girl from gold finger
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