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Japanese Wii manual = hilarity photo

It's been a long-standing tradition that the warning illustrations and information found inside the manuals of Japanese electronics has to be funny. I believe it's actually Japanese law. 

Nintendo has not let us down, as these scans from the Japanese Wii users manual so hilariously illustrate. Check them out and no matter what you do, don't stick a four leaf clover into the back of your Wii. That's almost as stupid and dangerous as chewing on the sensor bar's cord!


LAUNCH GALLERY (13 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo
 

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23 comments | showing # 1 to 23

Detry's Avatar
Detry at 12/04/2006 15:09
You can't get your Wii drunk and then sex it up under the sheets? For shame Nintendo, for shame.
Toneman's Avatar
Toneman at 12/04/2006 15:10
That kid's face is so goddamn funnny looking.
loquax's Avatar
loquax at 12/04/2006 15:13
i like how the wii has little sweat beads in the hot environment
Aetsen's Avatar
Aetsen at 12/04/2006 15:17
What if I only jam Three-leaf clovers in the vents? That's cool right?
BlindsideDork's Avatar
BlindsideDork at 12/04/2006 15:23
So the Wii doesn't like Orange soda....that is LAME! who doesn't like ORANGE SODA?! It is so great.

But I suppose you can poor grape soda on it...
DeusPayne's Avatar
DeusPayne at 12/04/2006 15:33
I'm confused. Is eating cables (specifically the sensor bar cable I guess) a problem in Japan?

But I totally hold the remote+nunchuck like that. Makes it easy to drop the controllers and walk around when you need to. Of course, true gamers have already grafted the remote to their arms...
Namelessted's Avatar
Namelessted at 12/04/2006 15:35
This shit is great
I am glad they told me not to pour out a 40oz for the homies onto my Wii. Good advice.
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 12/04/2006 15:35
Uncombed hair is forbidden when playing the Wii. Your punishment will be sucking the cord of the sensor bar clean!

FrogMan's Avatar
FrogMan at 12/04/2006 15:36
Damn, so I can't tape broken discs back together? I do that shit all the time.
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 12/04/2006 15:37
Klan members should not put on their robes when playing Wii Sports

Deus Ex Machina's Avatar
Deus Ex Machina at 12/04/2006 15:54
Actually, the one with the sensor bar is warning you not to let your child eat the tie that's on the sensor bar. So I'm gonna assume eating the sensor bar cord is totally cool. Tastes like candy!
deanhatescoffee's Avatar
deanhatescoffee at 12/04/2006 16:22
LOL @ Neiro

I wanna do all of these things, just to show that they can be done. EAT IT, NINTENDO! (I love you!)
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 12/04/2006 17:02
If you feel compelled to pour soda on your Wii, do NOT do it in the blue room!!!

Azrael's Avatar
Azrael at 12/04/2006 17:07
Do not pour Urine into your Wee, it may sound pretty logical but is not, seriously.



Azrael's Avatar
Azrael at 12/04/2006 17:34
The nunchuk is not designed to be literally used as a nunchuck, you retard.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com/elephant//ul/28333-happyhit.jpg[/url]

No, doing Bruce Lee noises wont make it any better.
Azrael's Avatar
Azrael at 12/04/2006 17:34


Oh crap, sorry about that.
Ballistic90's Avatar
Ballistic90 at 12/04/2006 18:35
"Don't let your kid suffocate himself with a plastic bag. Then he can't play on the Wii and we lose money."

"Don't throw your Wii into the trash. Just... don't."
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 12/04/2006 18:37
Wii!

-only $249.99-

* Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Wii.
* Caution: Wii may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
* Wii contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
* Do not use Wii on concrete.

Discontinue use of Wii if any of the following occurs:

* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse sweating
* Heart palpitations

If Wii begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Wii may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Wii should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Wii, Nintendo of America, and its parent company Nintendo of Japan, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Wii include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Wii has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Wii.

Wii comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Wii

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 12/05/2006 00:24
Happy Fun Ball copypasta, hooray!

This is good stuff. I see everyone made all the jokes I was planning on making. Moving along now.
epoxi's Avatar
epoxi at 12/05/2006 17:28
I think Nintendo has made their target audience pretty clear.
dprime's Avatar
dprime at 01/07/2007 18:07
So does this mean it's okay to use it as a weapon in hand-to-hand combat? I don't see anything explicitly telling me not to.
Ninjajuice66's Avatar
Ninjajuice66 at 01/07/2007 19:21
#3- Wii only drinks vodka, no scotch
#4- Do not use controller to relieve auto-erotic asphyxia
urges.
#5- Irish people are strictly prohibited from playing Wii
#7- Do not spend time reading that could otherwise be spent
playing Wii
#10- refrain from eating controller; strap is acceptable
#11- please clip toenails before operating Wii
#13- Do not hit fellow Wii consumers; only hit patrons of
our competition.
dprime's Avatar
dprime at 01/15/2007 11:44
Ninja, I had to stop reading your comment 'cause I'm in class and I was laughing too much.
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