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Microsoft has never had the kind of kitten-smashing success in Japan that it has enjoyed here in America, but with the release of its Xbox 360, and the system's mega-smash-hit Gears of War, the company is looking to reach out to the Japanese gamer with the oldest trick in the book: viral ads propagated via Youtube featuring an adorable female lead, and unlikely, yet endearing situations!

The above video is the first in the series of girl-meets-monster, girl-befriends-monster, girl-and-monster-hump-like-bunnies videos that Microsoft has thrust upon an unwitting (and all too used to monster-on-girl action) Japanese public.

Hit the jump for more.

[Mad love to Siliconera for bringing this insanity to my attention.] 

Ok, so, here's the recap; Yunnie, Microsoft's adorable, Japanese tentacle-target, talks cheerily into the camera (possibly about Totoro) before hearing eerie noises. Glancing around nervously, one begins to wonder just what lurks on Channel X in her closet. Once the initial sense of dread has passed, she relaxes for a moment, only to have a green, scaly hand pull her off-camera. Pro Tip: There is no shame in admitting you have wet yourself at this point.
Part 2: Yunnie turns out to be a huge attention-whore, and as much as our monster (who I've taken to calling 'Todd') tries to remain hidden in his lair under her bed, she berates him for not coming out to join her in the unrelenting sunlight. Fearing the agony the light would cause, Todd tries vainly to drag the cheery bitch into his subterranean hole, if only to jam a sandwich in her mouth to silence her annoying yammering.
 
The series trails on and on, and at the moment, it has fifteen seperate episodes, all of which are vaguely erotic if you've had enough to drink. Yunnie and Todd eventually become friends, but Todd, overcome with a sense of insecurity formed early in childhood, never gets over his fear of the limelight. Fans of the series have been hoping from day one that Yunnie and Todd would, as the Japanese say, "do it", but so far there has been little to no coitus (that wasn't imagined on message boards, drawn into a series of erotic pictures, and furiously masturbated over).
 
Before I end this post and put a gun squarely against my head, I want to leave you with the greatest video of the series. In it, Yunnie and Todd have formed a deep bond; the kind of bond that can only exist between a beautiful girl and the scaly thing that lives under her bed. Todd retains his trademark bashfulness, and Yunnie her trademark look-at-me-I'm-the-kind-of-girl-who-forensic-scientists-would-say-"was asking for it"-ness, and, by the end of the clip, they, like Felix and Oscar, have learned that opposites sometimes do attract.
 
Heartwarming, no?

Continue: More Gears of War stories





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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26

bluexy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 02:36
bluexy
haahaahahah... oh man. hahahahahahhah.

wait, wait... bwahahahahahah

Good find Nex.
Buster's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 02:38
Buster
wtf, is today cute japanese women day or something?
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 02:38
Pangloss
The mind, it is blown.
WmV337's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 02:43
WmV337
great find nex!

This is SOO much better then the sony viral marketing, and much more attractive as well.
toast!'s Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 02:52
toast!
BAHAHAHAHAAHHA

oh man.. that's some good shit

and yes, i did pee myself on the first one :( i kept looking at her door expecting somethin to come flying thru
Husky Hog's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 03:00
Husky Hog
oh my god what the hell she clawed herself with her own hand

That's remarkable

<3 the sound effects
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 03:01
Mxyzptlk
Needs more tentacle rape.
WmV337's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 03:05
WmV337
as mxyzptlk said, moar!
Dr Hairy Dwarf's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 03:25
Dr Hairy Dwarf
How bout a dancing mini game in gears 2 ?
maybe no.
repsode's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 06:51
repsode
Japan advertises GoW with a Locust's hands doing Para Para.

That's F**king awesome!!!
Roryzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 07:00
Roryzilla
God damn that first one scared the shit out of me. Screw this I'm not watching anymore.
DalaiLiam's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 07:06
DalaiLiam
I just ruined jeans. thanks japan.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 07:15
king3vbo
leave it to japan to brighten my morning with yet another fucked up vid

good find nex
908peruvian's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 07:35
908peruvian
Urosukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend!!

i saw this yesterday...
that stupid shiet made me JUMP !!
topcow's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 07:44
topcow
I blame Japan for spilling my frosted flakes.

I demand restitution.
Brad Rice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 08:23
Brad Rice
Bah Nex, I sent this to you a long time ago. Way to show me love.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 08:29
Snaileb
I'm with Mxyzptlk

BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 08:37
BlindsideDork
That video i feel is old and lame though!

This is better....

teknohed's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 09:12
teknohed
Unfortunately I watched the first one at work. And jumped and screamed like a little girl. Kind of hard to say you "working on the self assessment form" when your screaming like a little bitch. Needless to say I was outed for watching videos of monster on Japanese school girl humping.
Gameboi's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 10:20
Gameboi
Gotta love those quirky Japanese folk, and their outlook on what is entertainment. This is one of the more reasonable ads, it seems. Ever seen clips of their game shows? Now that's entertainment at it's finest.
God Len's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 10:39
God Len
What's a Japanese?
Brad Rice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 10:47
Brad Rice
Nex, I send links to editors about Japanese stuff. These videos were one of them.
trydizon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 15:03
trydizon
if she was mexican, i would have laughed...
instead, i shat myself.
thanks nex.
ElementalBlazer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 15:18
ElementalBlazer
Damn at that last vid.
drdentz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 18:41
drdentz
Fuck, that scared the shit outta me. I was staring at the door the whole freakin time. GG.
Antimat3r's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2007 21:52
Antimat3r
AHHHHh...my pants were wet 2x...
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