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Home Ubisoft updates

Jade Raymond is not dead, working on first person survival game

9:08 AM on 07.10.2008, Jim Sterling 50 comments

Jade Raymond is not dead, working on first person survival game photo
     Ubisoft

She's doing science and she's still alive.

Jade Raymond is a name that hasn't been heard much since Assassin's Creed, but the word on the street is that her new project, I Am Alive will be revealed by Ubisoft at E3 and comes from Darkworks, the same studio responsible for Cold Fear. It is scheduled to be released on the PS3, Xbox 360 and PC.

A first person survival game, I Am Alive is set in Chicago after an Earthquake and isn't a heavy-weapons affair. A rather lengthy video is said to be planned, but it seems unlikely that we'll see anything playable until Leipzig. 

My colleague Jonathan Holmes says I Am Alive is the worst title for a videogame ever, but Savant protests, naming Touch DIC as a far inferior name. What do you think, readers? I Am Alive or Touch DIC? Which do you prefer?


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Nogarda's Avatar
Nogarda at 07/10/2008 09:16
That sounds more like the Subtitle to Portal 2 XD. But I thought she was a producer of AC not just a PR monkey.
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 07/10/2008 09:17
I bet the main character dies at the end. Just for laughs.
garrfunkel's Avatar
garrfunkel at 07/10/2008 09:17
I prefer to Touch DICs. Its the only reason I Am Alive.

Double Whammy!!
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 07/10/2008 09:18
@topgeargorilla: Nothing about the phrase "I Am Alive" is redundant, actually. Now, if it was "I Am Alive I Am Alive I Am Alive" then you may be on to something. Otherwise, no dice.
Colette Bennett's Avatar
Colette Bennett at 07/10/2008 09:18
*insert crude sexist joke about Jade Raymond here*
aborto thefetus's Avatar
aborto thefetus at 07/10/2008 09:21
Hopefully it won't suck as hard as Assassin's Creed.
Scientist tz's Avatar
Scientist tz at 07/10/2008 09:24
They probably want to call it "Still Alive" but can't because of Portal.

The game being set in Chicago might make it an automatic buy for me. I hope it won't suck.
Remz's Avatar
Remz at 07/10/2008 09:26
Cold Fear isn't much better :d

There's heaps of shit game titles, I am Alive, redundant as it is, isn't even close to the worst.
Hitogoroshi's Avatar
Hitogoroshi at 07/10/2008 09:28
Touch DIC is the greatest name every therefore I am Alive is worse.
Corncobtacular's Avatar
Corncobtacular at 07/10/2008 09:30
How could you not like Touch(ing) DIC?
Novakaine's Avatar
Novakaine at 07/10/2008 09:36
Jade Raymond (and the ridiculous cult following she has) gets on my nerves so much....
Brandon Undead's Avatar
Brandon Undead at 07/10/2008 09:38
Why are we reporting on her specifically? She is t3h suxorz, is she not? Next time that guy that made Space Giraffe starts working on a game, I want his face slapped on the front page with 4 sparse paragraphs detailing what he hasn't been up to. You know, to show that we really care what people that head bad games are doing, and not just that we think they're attractive.
Demtor's Avatar
Demtor at 07/10/2008 09:46
I can't help but think dirty things when I scroll down to this from a Wii vibrator article...
BigKev's Avatar
BigKev at 07/10/2008 09:51
@B-Radicate
It is redundant, because being able to speak means that you are alive, hence, it is redundant to say it.
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 07/10/2008 09:54
I think "I am Alive" is redundant. Otherwise, why would the person be saying it. I mean, I am alive, but that's stupid, because why else would I be writing in the first place?
Scrixx's Avatar
Scrixx at 07/10/2008 09:55
Touch DIC. By far the greatest video game ever.

All your girlfriends/wife play it with me :]

I am alive, on the other hand, sucks.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 07/10/2008 10:02
"Otherwise, why would the person be saying it."

Because an Earthquake hit that one assumes killed a lot of people? It really doesn't strike me as hard to grasp the title's meaning.
GohanGVO's Avatar
GohanGVO at 07/10/2008 10:22
The bigger news here is that Chicago is finally getting some video game love. Chi-town is clearly the new hotness.
Lowballs's Avatar
Lowballs at 07/10/2008 10:26
I am looking forward to seeing the video to I Am Alive debuted on Lifetime.
nopk's Avatar
nopk at 07/10/2008 10:30
Top notch reporting as usual Jim! You're right! I suppose geeks will find her arousing, won't they! (LOL)

Seriously though guys, she's french. So there's nothing to see here.
Funkiller's Avatar
Funkiller at 07/10/2008 10:39
Waiting for I Touch BHAG - The Game (based off the movie, not the tv series).
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 07/10/2008 10:48
I love you, too, Jade.
mistic's Avatar
mistic at 07/10/2008 10:48
If jade sucks as hard as ass'creed...

but seriously that name doesn't sound THAT bad i think :-)
Alexradl's Avatar
Alexradl at 07/10/2008 10:49
"Touch DIC" is obviously the superior name. Jade Raymond can...oh, I'm not even going to try.
BattyAdroit's Avatar
BattyAdroit at 07/10/2008 10:53
I like the title of the game. It's different.

But please, don't let me interrupt your witty banter, and incredibly funny jokes! A few more of you pointing out how much assassin's creed sucks should help the thread reach it's highest possible funniness potential.

PS: Don't forget to constantly point out how hot Jade Raymond is. It kind of reminds me of the way Frito Pendejo likes to 'bang chicks.'
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 07/10/2008 10:56
Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade!
Sir-G's Avatar
Sir-G at 07/10/2008 11:01
Why can't there be an article with Jade that dosen't mention anything sexual!?!? I know people who comment will bring it up, but editors can at least be respectful and not just say anything even if they are being sarcastic. I think it just feeds into the whole silliness!
F Whipple's Avatar
F Whipple at 07/10/2008 11:07
Too bad it's not called "Staying Alive" with the BeeGees doing the soundtrack
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 07/10/2008 11:13
Nopk makes a good point.
Doomtrain's Avatar
Doomtrain at 07/10/2008 11:13
*sexual joke*

Ammirite guys and one-in-ten girls?
Corak's Avatar
Corak at 07/10/2008 11:37
"I think it's silly that earthquakes would be in Chicago"

Not so, there was a midwestern earthquake this year a few months ago, and it was felt in Chicago. It woke me up that night, and I live on the south side of the city but people in Chicago felt it too. Chicago was miles away from the epicenter of the quake, but there is a major fault line where the Mississippi meets the Ohio river.

As for the game, I'll wait till I see some footage to form a preliminary opinion.
loki d20's Avatar
loki d20 at 07/10/2008 11:47
I Am Alive is a pretty lame title and should be changed. Having said that, I wouldn't Touch DIC with anything let alone look at it as it hangs precariously from a store shelf.

There are worse titles, though. The Pen Is In You, Family: Jewel Thief, etc.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 07/10/2008 12:01
The announcement of a survival game only makes me wonder what's going on with Monolith's Wii survival game, Day of Disaster.
Crunshii's Avatar
Crunshii at 07/10/2008 12:07
I think she's ugly :(
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar
JamnOnTheOne at 07/10/2008 12:28
I think "Irritating Stick" wins for worst title ever.

She's not ugly...Besides gentlemen, she might not look good now, but beauty is only a light switch away. For most girls running around out there, darkness is their friend.
Fury-Genesis's Avatar
Fury-Genesis at 07/10/2008 12:42
I really think Jade takes a lot of crap unfairly. The whole Jade's game debacle was blown far out of proportion, and says more about Ubisoft and all of us than it does about her.

She did the same PR tour that everyone does when their game is about to come out, only Ubisoft cynically made sure everyone could se that she was hawt, and all the lonely internet trolls went "ahmagad! Jade! AAAAAHHHHH" *fapfapfapfap*.

Very little of that was really her fault. And it's kind of sad that she'll never be taken seriously, simply because she was too attractive.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 07/10/2008 12:57
RAAAAAAAAAAAGINGGGGGGGGG CLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 07/10/2008 13:19
I'm glad she wasn't scared off by the horrifically inappropriate "jokes." Game sounds interesting. I'm sure this one will also get overhyped and everyone will hate it because it isn't perfect.

@Sir-G
What are you talking about? The article was respectful.

@BuckFitches
I hate to tell you, Joe, but...

@Jonathan Holmes
Yeah, "I Am Alive" is a terrible name, and "Wii" is an awesome name for a console. :P
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 07/10/2008 13:25
Sharpless speaks the truth.
Cyberxion's Avatar
Cyberxion at 07/10/2008 14:01
That woman has a smile that could launch a thousand boners.

Hey, I'm not one for lewd sexist comments, but I'm all about
jumping on the bandwagon, so there you have it.

Oh, and the game does indeed sound interesting.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 07/10/2008 14:43
Sharpless, quite getting Jade drunk and paying her to say things she doesn't mean!!!! I HATE YOU!!!

runs off crying...
kawitchate's Avatar
kawitchate at 07/10/2008 15:46
finally some good comments at the end of the thread.
thank you Sharpless.
ikoul's Avatar
ikoul at 07/10/2008 15:54
Reading this I feel compelled to say something like "Jade Raymond can Touch my DIC", with the word "my" in little italic letters, but that'd just be silly and not a worthwhile use of my time. Why do people still care about Jade Raymond? This game is going to suck twice as much as Ass Creed ever did, and that's saying something.
Batthink's Avatar
Batthink at 07/10/2008 16:38
I prefer I Am Alive....

"I AM ALIVE!!!!"

*explodes after punching boxes full of explosives*

(Red Drawf joke)
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 07/11/2008 03:56
Assassin's Creed was a horrible, awful game

Can I be cool now? I hear that's what all the cool kids are saying...

Honestly, the game wasn't THAT fucking bad at all. If you haven't played any of the many MANY far worse games then you are incredibly lucky.

It just didn't live up to the hype that was created (partially because of bewbs). Lots of games don't but you don't all decry them as an affront to humanity.

Oh and I hope they change the title before release because yes, it isn't very good.
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