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3:33 PM on 05.22.2007
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Well it doesn't take him long, does it? The Halo 3 beta was released only last week and that pathetic scavenger Jack Thompson has already leapt upon Microsoft, penis erect with rage, in an attempt to try and take the spotlight away from games and place it firmly back upon himself -- because watching this disturbed old jester masturbate for our viewing pleasure is clearly the most important thing in the world. Jack Thompson, the middle-aged man who thinks about children playing in their bedrooms, has issued one of his insane, dribbling demands to Bill Gates himself. That's right, the twatspanner is threatening Bill Gates with legal action. It's the usual deal: Thompson once again seems to believe that it's up to the games industry to make sure that the retail industry do their jobs by not selling games to minors, and issues yet another ill thought out, preposterous legal threat. But ... this is Bill Gates. This could be hilarious. For more, and for the words of Jack Creepy McCreepy Thompson himself, hit the jump. [Via GameAlmighty] "Here’s the deal, Mr. Gates: Either Microsoft undertakes dramatic, real steps, through its marketing, wholesale, and retail operations to assure that Halo 3 is not sold, via the Internet and in stores, directly to anyone under 17, or I shall proceed to make sure that Microsoft is held to that standard by appropriate legal means. I have done that before successfully as to Best Buy, and I shall do so again as to Microsoft and all retailers of Halo 3." The usual garbage, right? Yes it's annoying to read, and infuriating on many levels that this ignorant, possibly psychotic individual is shooting his mouth off in yet another desperate ploy for TV time, but this is something I've been waiting for. This is the day that Jack Thompson tries to threaten Microsoft. With any luck, they are going to slaughter him for this. Now, I'm no fortune teller, but if I may, I'd like to try and predict Microsoft's unofficial response to Jack's little letter: "HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHA! AHA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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 Article contributed by Jim Sterling
101 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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21 comments + 95764 views
Can't Bill Gates just fucking buy Jack Thompson? I mean, I know slavery is illegal and all but we could make an exception just once right?
Ugh
Just, Ugh
We are all slaves to the system Toneman...
On topic: Jesus Jumping JackThompson...what a tool.
And here I thought he couldn't top the Wendy's thing.
Its almost like Don Quixote, fighting dragons that aren't there.
I hope this windmill stops him.
*sigh*
His going after The 'Soft may be the best thing that's ever happened. Like I say, they may laugh in his face at the least, slaughter him at the most.
Someone really needs to shop a pic of JT with the caption "Look at me! I'm an attention whore!" Seriously, somebody do it. Do it now.
Can JT even spell Halo?
That man needs a hug.
Here's the deal?! Wow, Thompson is about as poetic with his threats as some hired muscle for a bank robbery.
looks like JT got hit with the banhammer
Let's see here,
Devs and publishers rating games apropriately, check.
Retailers respecting those ratings and carding folks buying M-Rated games, check.
Parents not purchasing M-Rated titles for little 8 year old Johnny, . . . check?
The only way M-Rated games are getting into the hands of kids these days is from the hands of irresponsible parents. And god forbid someone take some personal responsibility. "The best course of action is to let the government decide what is right for my children! I'm too busy driving my Luxury SUV to overpriced dinners with my trophy wife to raise kids, what do I look like? My illegal immigrant nanny?"
Amerika and their increasing reliance on the government and the courts to raise their children are really starting to piss me off. Almost enough to go on a Crackdown-Style rampage in south Florida.
I would like to sue him as a person/gamer or create a group that can voice our opinions when some media outlet lets him make false accusations.
Or vote Libertarian.
Man I wish we had Libertarians in England.
yeah seriously. this is bill gates. he has seen/spent/donated more money than most countries in the world will ever see.
i hate to tell jack this, but bill gates has the power to make sure he never "practices" anything ever again.
quick question for jack if anyone wants to forward this to him: when is he going to start attacking parents for not doing their job as parents. i mean seriously, this, plus this law i was reading about earlier today, makes me really wonder when people are going to start addressing the problem that these items over look: parents are the ones responsible. don't buy you kids a game that has a mature rating. i mean yes, i'm sure some id's don't get checked, but parent's buying their kids grand theft auto circumvents the entire perceived problematic system.
Douche Powers GO! Form of JACK THOMPSON!
What a pathetic human.
jack thompson getting buried would obviously be awesome, but think of the consequences for microsoft: if they're the ones to finish off jack once and for all, does this mean microsoft isn't the evil conglomerate bent on world domination and ubiquitous DRM that we all thought?
now that he can't go after rockstar is there anyone he won't sue? whats next, nintendo cuz a kid seeing pikachu be pummeled by solid snake could scar him for life? most of his lawsuits make as much sense as suing mc donalds cuz you ate there every day since you were 8 and are now fat. what will it take for this man to lose his liscense?
and if me messes with M$oft and master chief, he will indeed get pwned like no man hath been pwned before.
So, JT really thinks he's going to be able to make any sort of dent in Microsoft?
Please, Bill Gates will have his pack of lawyers simply legally tear the attention-whore a new one.
Talk about fucking with the bull...
penis erect with rage....hahaha
I don't have the energy to care about Jack Thompson anymore, hopefully Microsoft takes him down. And i agree with most of you, its time for parents to start taking responsibility...
done and done. Just for you Mxy!
http://nikto.canisius.edu/~mckernas/JT.jpg
Best I could do on short notice Mxyzptlk
@ Bahamut Zero:
My hero! I didn't realize JT was so hittable from the neck down!
5 Bucks says that withing a week Jack Thompson will be found in a hotel room with a dead hooker and crack sprinkled on him. Bill Gates has connections.
if we write enough bad things and funny pictures he will show up wanting to take on DT!
I know we can trust Jim Sterling to give us the good news when MSoft annihilates this man... I really want that news. Badly.
Our best bet is to not even pay this jerkbag any mind. If noone would give him any airtime he'd fizzle out like a bad fart. I'm done discussing Thompson.
Someone please find this man a girlfriend or a puppy or something to take his mind away from video games.
SOMEONE GET THIS MAN LAID!
He should go after people that buy bad M rated games. That way he can get his attention and all the horrible M rated games will go away.
I really wouldn't be surprised if Jack stops sueing(spelling) people completely after this. Microsoft is one of those company's you don't mess with.
@Mxyzptlk
Phear my amatuer Photoshop skillz
Oh, whats old Wacky Jackie up to now? Apparently desperate times calls for retarded measures and 'ole jackie is full of 'em.
Sure wish there was a Douche Bag clause in our law, because right now he's in the running for stealing away John Edwards BDIU
@ Christian:
Sure, but that was when he was still vaguely credible with the majority of the public. Now it's like watching retards in a boxing match, you know you should feel outraged and ashamed about what you're seeing, but you just can't help laughing at the guy. I have the urge to get popcorn every time he opens his mouth now.
I'm sleepy. Do we have news stories that will act as a calmative? Oh, this one will do nicely.
(snzzzzzzz)
I love this guy!
Thught I'd join the fun, it's too bad Russel Crowe dosen't fight Jacike boy to the death that last scene in Gladiator made me want more...
@ Christian and Mxy
I doubt he'd go away. All you have to do is talk about "saving the children" and it's all of a sudden unacceptable to even question your platform. "What? You disagree with Jack! You hate kids!" The fact of the matter is that these new initiatives, (as outlined in the next article about the NY State legislature) aren't anything new at all. Jack just better be careful that Microsoft doesn't eat him. There's actually another potentially interesting boiling point that could come about in teh next couple of years. All of Jack's whining could actually bring the film industry into this. You all play halo, right? There's really not a whole lot of blood in that game. In the movies, you need blood and mutiliation for violence to reach an R-rated level. I mean, look at the body counts in all the Bond movies, and all but a scant few of those are PG-13. If JT and the unparents driving this movement can draw a bead on Halo (arguably one of the least graphically violent shooters) Hollywood should certainly ethically be next. Amirite?
New name for him - Jack "Isn't getting laid" Thompson
@infinity: that was actually my first thought - will MS haters amongst gamers have to give in to the fact that there is worse that can happen to the industry than a company aspiring a monopoly position in a certain branch?
Anyway, I'm hoping for a very cocky response :>
@ twesterm:
Awesome. :)
@ TheStripe:
The difference is Hollywood has been around a lot longer than video games, and everyone alive today has grown up with the cinema. Video games are still a relatively new medium, and a lot of people still think of them as a children's activity. They can grasp the idea of a movie made for adults, but somehow a video game made for adults doesn't register. As today's gamers get older, this will stop being an issue and the media will find a new whipping boy, like those new fangled rocket skateboards.
While we're talking about 007 movies, why can I see Bond kill two dozen bad guys a flick and follow up each death with a bad pun, but I can't see one set of Bond girl tits?
This isn't the first time that Jackhole has gone after Bill Gates.
I swear this guy is like one of Pavlov's dogs. The game industry rings a bell (i.e. releases a game with the slightest bit of violence in it) and Jack Thompson starts salivating.
Oh my, I hope that he does persue legal action against microsoft, then maybe, just maybe, he could be counter sued and destroyed. A guy can dream can't he? I love how jack is going to bring this to the guy who knows the least about video games in the company, that way he can hope, through bill's ignorance, that he can coerse him into doing something stupid like requiring everyone to email a jpg of their picture id! How long would that take to get a copy of halo into your hands if you wanted to order it. Screw that fool! He should bring this to the president of, i dont know, the PRESIDENT OF MARKETING AND DISTRIBUTION!
ahahaha, twatspanner. aha.
i have never seen such a LOSER in my life!!!
OK, I've got an idea -
We need to get Jack Thompson laid.
Think about it; sure, he's got a serious bug up his ass, but why? HE'S NOT GETTING ANY.
If we all chip in and get him a hooker, all our troubles could be solved. Who's with me?
...oh, and not a trannie - he's pissed enough as it is.
You'd think that after all the time he's spent campaigning against games that he'd have SOME understanding of how this industry works. Developers pour years of their time and millions of dollars into these games and Jack-Off Thompson here seriously expects them to just scrap the whole thing? I can't wait till he gets disbarred.
Sadly, I've been dealing with this guy all day long (yeah, I'm the one who wrote the Game Almighty piece). Rather than actually discuss the issues, Jack figured the best tactic was to call the site blasphemous, call me a "piss ant" (twice), and still shoot of his little letter to us.
Yeah, there's a fun editorial in the works on the events of today. Stay tuned, kiddies. It's gonna be a fun fun ride.
Know what would be cool, is if they made Jackie boy an end level boss in Halo 3. :-D
WldCard:
I would kill to interview this guy myself. Tell him that. Tell him I want to talk to him!
I think this link should be generously passed around to all of these news agencies that Mr. Thompson likes to frequent with his lame-ass press releases and open letters. Y'know, just to explicitly point out to them just what kind of nutball they're really dealing with here.
I mean, seriously, that's some hilariously depressing (or is that depressingly hilarious?) shit, right there.
Then again, that could just make some of them more interested in him.
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