Last week, Jack Thompson promised "big trouble" for the eagerly awaited BioShock. While I felt dirty that such a beautiful game was being uttered from the filthy mouth of the silver haired panty-buncher, I patiently waited for this trouble, wondering what it was that Jumpin' Jack Twat had up his sleeve. Now the time has come and BioShock's ultimate doom has been decided ...
Jack Thompson ... WROTE AN ANGRY LITTLE LETTER! OH NO!
For some undisclosed reason, Jack Thompson was watching World Wrestling Entertainment's Smackdown and spotted the classy BioShock commercial that's been airing. Sensing some straws to clutch at, Darth Thompson has written one of his classic little love notes to Take-Two, whining about how people under 17 like wrestling, so this means BioShock and all its terrible violence is being marketed to them. Jacky baby, take it from me, this is one of the most desperate things you've ever done in your quest for relevance. Ever.
Hit the jump for more, including Jack's latest rant in full.
[Thanks to TheGoldenDonut]
Take-Two… is aggressively marketing its newest Mature-rated video game to kids under 17 years of age… On this Friday’s night’s 8 pm Eastern time airing of WWE’s wrestling program “Smackdown,” there were repeated ads for Take-Two/Rockstar Game’s Mature-rated, incredibly violent BioShock…A check of the demographics of the audience of that program reveals that teens under 17 years of age watch that program in huge numbers…
Remarkably, the video game industry is running ads for games like BioShock on teen-intensive television programs while at the same time its industry-captured “watchdog,” the ESRB, is running a self-congratulatory ad campaign to assure parents that the video game ratings system is working and that the industry can be trusted not to target their kids with these Mature-rated games. It is all a lie, as the BioShock ads prove.
This rampant fraudulent trade practice is precisely what “Big Tobacco” did with its “Joe Camel” and other teen-targeting ads, while at the same time lying to Congress that it was not marketing its adult product to kids.
Even when watching half naked men wrestling around on a canvas mat, Jack Thompson can't stop himself from thinking about children. On a 'serious' note, this newest spectacle has clearly shown that there is no low he won't sink to in order to get his attention. It's attention I'll gladly give him as well, because he's free comedy at this point and there is no greater entertainment than watching a bitter old man make a complete fool of himself. Thompson feels a little less insecure about his lack of significance, the videogames get more exposure and we get to laugh. Everybody wins!
The game in question, on its way to becoming the most critically acclaimed interactive masterpiece of all time, is being released on Tuesday and there is nothing he can do about it. It will be played, it will be loved, and children WILL experience it ... but not because Take-Two sold it to them. Of course, we all know that, but we'll be too busy having fun to stomp our feet and whine about something so pointless. That's the job of this old wanker. Also, when did showing a TV spot classify as aggression? Thompson, you are utterly pathetic.
Now who's Jack's favorite wrestler? I think it's Randy Orton, since they both look like they've done some terrible things with dates and a glass of wine.
Contest:
11:16 AM on 08.19.2007
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Anyway, I think it's getting to the point where Jack Thompson is just a part of the landscape; he doesn't make nearly as much noise as he used to.
But he's still an irritating twatface.
Jack, if you are reading this comment, I want to let you know that you are LOSING this war, man. No one takes you seriously. Even the Florida Bar is against you. Judges are against you. You went too far and got too weird, and now you just ramble and spin your tires while we laugh at you. We all laugh at you. I sent your wikipedia page to my parents (who are very conservative) and THEY laughed at you. You are a joke. You are a nothing. The more you talk about video games, the more publicity you give them. Send me an email at tips@destructoid.com if you have a comment. You tool.
Probably himself. It's the only human correspondence he receives.
Is he even paying attention anymore?
Has he ever been paying attention?
Just wait till Jack gets his hands on the full game, and realizes that you're essentially required to kill a "child" repeatedly in order to collect ADAM.
He'll have a fucking field day with that one.
He's terribly inconsistent.
That's supposed to be "Take-Two/Rockstar?"
not that i have a problem with the little sisters, they have a purpose in the game and actually add something to it.
The BBFC and ESRB have already rated the game, he can't do much to rally against the content, especially now the killing of the girls has been toned down. Thompson shouldn't have slept so late on this one.
It also made me want to play Emogame more.
I would pay more than a bioshock copy costs to see a big daddy dealing with jack thompson.
I have faith that Running With Scissors will find a way to put Jack Thompson in Postal 3.
And, if not them, certainly the modding community will come up with an...interesting mod.
It would be win.
Why doesn't Jack Thompson talk about that and try to help all of us lead healthy lives instead of making up these false "facts" to stop violent video games from being produced. We'll all die of heart attacks before we can even play these games. That's kind of ironic too since we all know Jacky boy has been having some recent heart problems.
Note to Jack Thompson: NO ONE CARES!
I think the GamePolitics article said this was an FTC complaint.
I'm not lolling nearly as much as when the man threatened Wendy's with a lawsuit if they didn't pull their Wii happy meal toys, but this is pretty pathetic. I can't wait till this man gets disbarred.
I think we need to do a "Gamer Eye for the Tight-Assed Politician" style intervention.
Personally I think we should give him a video game review TV show and put it on E! Imagine the entertainment! Nobody in their right mind would take him seriously so everyone at Dtoid could just sit around a fire and watch this half hour program nightly and crack jokes about how hes drawing assumptions about games hes never played.
Have a nice day :)
Jack Thompson=Right Wing Nutjob Controlfreak
Gamers=Regular people of all ages.I am 13 and plan to get Bioshock the day it comes out and play it to my hearts desire.
As anyone who saw Nireos video of his hearing will tell you, I fucking lol'd when he held up that sign "Can I just hold this up please?"
As far as children playing BioShock... only if irresponsible parents let them. If you see the "M" on the box, don't buy it for your nine year-old. Simple as that. However, in the case of BioShock, I doubt kids are going to be stabbing each other with giant drill bits attached to their hands.
Thompson has proven time and again that he fails, in every aspect of life. I almost feel bad for him. I almost think he's become a victim of his own paranoia, but the more I read and hear about him, the more I realize that he's just a fucking douche.
"I can finally RULE THE WORLD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
*turns on the 360*
*3 red lights appear*
"DAMN YOU MICROSOFT!!!"
That being said, Nothing can stop Bioshock. It's the modern equivelent of...I don't even know, maybe Wolfenstien 3D or Alone in the Dark. It will change everyting. To quote Tycho from Penny Arcade, "It is my intention to secure two copies of the game, entire - one Collectors' edition, and one exclusively to shove up Roger Ebert's ass. If Bioshock isn't "art," then art is the poorer for it."
Hmmm...JT watching wrestling wrestling, isn't that a bit, I don't know, hypocritical?
You know, someone's oughta go 6 stars on him.
Actually, I'd welcome that. If someone had an educated argument against videogames, I'd enjoy talking to them. The only thing is, there AREN'T many coherent arguments you can form. As soon as you realise that the whole "kids shouldn't play adult games" argument is moot because these games aren't FOR kids, you lose your entire basis of argument. People like Jack ignore that entire foundation-shaking fallacy. Smarter people can't.
# 86% are male
# Mean Age = 24 yrs old
# 36% are ages 12-17
# 58% are ages 18-49
# 40% are males 18-34
While a lot of 12-17's watch, the majority are over 18. Also,I would note that a lot of the times when I watch shows that have less of the male/female splite, I see shit like tampon commercials... Are those being targeted at me? Fuck no.