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It's time to compete in the Destructoid Retrolympics!

4:00 PM on 07.27.2012 // Chad Concelmo

I can’t throw a javelin.

Well, I guess I technically can. But I can’t throw a javelin very well. Not even close to the level of one of the incredible athletes in the Olympic Games. In fact, I can’t do anything as well as those amazingly fit and impressive human specimens.

But one thing I can do: I can play the sh*t out of some retro games. I am pretty darn good at that. One of my proudest accomplishments is making it through the original Contra without dying. LET’S SEE YOU DO THAT, RYAN LOCHTE!

With the Olympics starting tonight, I thought it would be fun to host a competition for people that are experts at retro games. People like me! Welcome to the Destructoid Retrolympics! This is a trivia challenge based on your knowledge of all things retro games. Do you have what it takes to win a Retrolympic medal (the best medal of all!)? Let the games begin!

Here is how this is going to work. This quiz covers 25 questions about retro games, each falling under a different category, or “event,” based on the Olympics. Once you reach the end of the quiz, add up all the correct answers and see if you have a high enough score for a life-changing .JPG medal! Go for the gold!

You can click here for all the answers and just leave the window open as you progress through the challenge.

Now, it is obviously very possible to look up all these answers on this magical thing called the Internet ... but try not to do that. Just take the quiz and see how well you do based off your memory of these classic retro games. You could look everything up, but where is the fun in that?

Once you are finished, share your score in the comments.

Let’s get started!


Easy warm-up question! What button do you hold down to run in the original Super Mario Bros.?

Click here for the correct answer.


You are competing in the High Jump in the upcoming Olympics. (Congrats!) To give yourself the best shot at winning a medal, which of the below playable characters from Super Mario Bros. 2 should you select to be your coach?

Click here for the correct answer.

Which of these Final Fantasy IV characters would easily win in a "let's see who can jump the highest and attack with a badass spear" contest?

Click here for the correct answer.


Which robot master is most vulnerable to Mega Man’s Knight Crush?
a. Blizzard Man
b. Flame Man
c. Centaur Man
d. Tomahawk Man
Click here for the correct answer.


Oh no! Donkey Kong has created three fake hammers to confuse Mario! Help Mario find the real one by locating which hammer is in the correct place!

Click here for the correct answer.


Choose wisely! In Ghosts ‘n Goblins, which has the quicker rate of fire?

Click here for the correct answer.


When E.T. extends his neck in the infamous Atari game E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, what happens?
a. He regains his energy
b. He levitates in the air
c. He sends out a radar signal
d. The game buries itself in the desert
Click here for the correct answer.

Which of the below creatures teaches Samus how to wall jump in Super Metroid?

Click here for the correct answer.


Which business donates the bicycle to Ness in legendary Super Nintendo RPG EarthBound?
a. Mach Pizza
b. Fourside Department Store
c. Punk-Sure
d. Onett Drugstore
Click here for the correct answer.


Which of the following Fire Emblem characters is the most vulnerable to an attack by arrows?

Click here for the correct answer.

In which dungeon does Link find the bow in the original Legend of Zelda (first quest)?
a. 1st dungeon
b. 2nd dungeon
c. 3rd dungeon
d. 4th dungeon
Click here for the correct answer.


Classic arcade game 720° is based on what popular, extreeeeeme sport?
a. Freestyle BMX
b. Skateboarding
c. Surfing
d. Snowboarding
Click here for the correct answer.


What weapon does the scuba diving main character use to attack the lethal jellyfish and stingrays in NES game Jaws?

Click here for the correct answer.

What mystical creature is discovered after diving to the bottom of the well in the original King’s Quest?
a. Troll
b. Unicorn
c. Mermaid
d. Dragon
Click here for the correct answer.


Which of the following political figures is not a playable character in arcade basketball game NBA Jam?

Click here for the correct answer.


How many minutes can Guybrush Threepwood hold his breath underwater in The Secret of Monkey Island?
a. One
b. Five
c. Ten
d. Fifteen
Click here for the correct answer.


On their way to Narshe, which Final Fantasy VI party member jumps off the raft at the end of their wild river adventure?

Click here for the correct answer.


Which of the following items can you not lift up and throw in Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers?

Click here for the correct answer.


Mike Haggar wants to teach a class on fighting. Based on his available moves in Final Fight, which of these wrestling techniques could he not teach?
a. Suplex
b. Headbutt
c. Piledriver
d. Clothesline
Click here for the correct answer.


Which version of Aladdin equips main character Aladdin with a sword?

Click here for the correct answer.

Analogy fun! Excalibur : King Arthur :: Masamune : __________

Click here for the correct answer.


You really want a homing gun. (Who doesn't?!) Which of these Contra games will help make your wish come true?
a. Contra
b. Super Contra
c. Contra III: The Alien Wars
d. Contra Force
Click here for the correct answer.

Arkanoid alert! Which of the below capsules rewards players with the laser upgrade?

Click here for the correct answer.


How many maximum carrots appear above Link when riding Epona in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time?
a. 4
b. 5
c. 6
d. 7
Click here for the correct answer.

The below horse racing minigame is featured in what Super Nintendo videogame?

a. Pocky & Rocky
b. Vegas Stakes
c. Harvest Moon
d. The Legend of the Mystical Ninja
Click here for the correct answer.



Now that you are finished, add up all your correct answers and see how you did!

Here is the scoring guide:

Did you earn a medal? If you won a gold, congratulations, you are now officially a gold medal winner in the Retrolympics. When you tell people this exciting news, just mumble the "Retr" part and say the rest really loud. People will think you said "Olympics" and be really impressed. Trust me on this one.

Chad Concelmo,
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