I really believe (and hope) that this is one sick mind reading too much into things, but if it's not then the Wii is taking a perverse turn for the erotic with Captain Rainbow -- a potential powder keg of smug and degradation the likes of which my fair Christian eyes have ne'er before witnessed.

According to reader Josh, the above video has Birdo trapped in a cage and only proof that she is a woman will set her free (Josh suggests Birdo was caught using the woman's restroom and mistaken for a man.) In order to prove Birdo's innocence and femininity, Captain Rainbow must fetch her vibrator. Um ... okay. I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation, but it's pretty suspect stuff if you're just looking at the visuals.  I mean, I can't think of a non-dirty way to explain the footage above. Maybe there's something wrong with me?

As if that's not enough for you, beyond the jump we have footage of a golfer playing very enthusiastically with his balls. We've also include an image of a very ... eye catching ... rock. Just look at it and I think you'll agree -- Captain Rainbow is sick filth and needs to be BANNED!