We waited five years for this?
There are few boxes as anticipated as BioShock Infinite, the long awaited box to prequels BioShock Limited Edition and BioShock for the PlayStation 3.
Irrational Games, known as 2K Boston during BioShock's release, made waves in the industry with critics and boring, ordinary game-playing people alike, in 2007. BioShock was everything boxes didn't dare to do at the time: It was bold, beautiful, and it had a message. You looked at that box and it spoke to the soul. It said, "Open me, stick me in your game box, and have a randy dandy time." We gaming folk finally discovered what true art is and why it's worth talking about all the dang time on NeoGAF.
After getting several hours of eyes-on ophthalmic exploration of Irrational's much anticipated follow-up, I have to say that BioShock Infinite is not the box we deserve.
Catering to the everyman that demand downtrodden, unshaved white dudes with guns on their box covers, Irrational has ignored its fanbase to serve the greater populace of unworthy plebs.
As an art critic -- I mean, I did take photography or some shit in college -- I feel upset by this consumerist approach to box art design. Shouldn't box arts be about the bigger picture? Like, anti-America, giant clockwork birds, and some young girl with an unsettling amount of cleavage?
The truth is that Irrational don't care what you think. They are too busy counting their money, with this bound to be successful box cover that owes more than a little bit to Uncharted, Modern Warfare, and soulless market analysis.
It is our right as people that live in America and talk Americanese to be offended by the flag burning on this cover. Though it is not an actual flag, Irrational has set fire to the metaphysical flag in all of our hearts. I'm going to have to borrow some of my mom's healing crystals for like a week to get over this pointless act of aggression toward my freedums.
In a time when our country has an evil hobgoblin for a president, we look toward great, honorable box covers like Medal of Honor: Warfighter and Secret Service to remind us of all that our country can be. I look at Irrational's BioShock Infinite -- what was supposed to be the perfect box art of this console generation -- and I all see is sick sadness and pain.
No DLC Stickers? REALLY!??
Apparently, Irrational is now in the business of ripping people off. Pre-purchase DLC stickers are to be expected on box covers these days, but Irrational must live in the stone age. Look how big the BioShock Infinite logo is on that box! It's atrocious! Couldn't they have made it smaller and sneaked a big, beautiful yellow sticker somewhere, exclaiming, "Hey! We are giving you this extra bonus for your Xbox Live avatar because we are true artists that care about you and the art of box art making." Nope. Nothing.
I don't want to sound hyperbolic but BioShock Infinite isn't only the most disappointing box cover of 2013 but perhaps of all next year. If you add those things up, that's like 24 months or so. 24 months to grieve on message boards. 24 months to sign petitions, banishing Irrational to a third world country, like Sweden. 24 months to burn every copy of BioShock Infinite and forget it ever happened.
Out of the kindness of our hearts, we gamers allowed Irrational to take five years to deliver us the box cover that would change our lives, our industry, and our souls. This ... this is what they give us in return?
I'm so mad, guys. So dang mad. Please sign my petition to change this offensive box cover, even though I'll be purchasing via Steam. Just because. Freedums.
|3:00 AM on 05.07.2013|
You can now get your very own BioShock Songbird plushie
Irrational Games has teamed up with NECA Toys to produce cute little Songbird plushies. The plushie comes in at 7" tall, has an outstretched wingspan of 14" from tip to tip, and is going for $55. The design was created by sen...more
|2:45 PM on 04.29.2013|
BioShock Infinite DLC appears to have a new AI companion
Not much has been said about post-release content for BioShock Infinite to this point, but some juicy morsels of information may have dribbled out today. If a 2K employee's LinkedIn page is to be believed, the first DLC ...more
|4:00 PM on 04.24.2013|
What BioShock Infinite could have been
Almost a month after its release, BioShock Infinite is still on my mind, but not for the reasons you might suspect. If you grow tired of seeing the game plastered on just about every gaming website, magazine, and TV comm...more
|4:00 AM on 04.19.2013|
BioShock's robot George Washington toy up for pre-order
The mecha George Washington figure from BioShock Infinite is up for pre-order for just $34.99. The figure comes in at 9 inches tall, has 20 points of articulation, interchangeable heads, a bigass gatling gun, and two flags of Columbia. Head on over to Tomopop to see all the places you can pre-order the figure from. NECA gives Bioshock fans a terrorizing Founding Father [Tomopop]more
|6:00 AM on 04.18.2013|
Meet the voices behind BioShock Infinite's Lutece Twins
Jennifer Hale and Oliver Vaquer, the voice actors behind the Lutece Twins, sat down with GameTrailers to talk about their roles in BioShock Infinite. The pair touch on how they both had to read each character's scripts, how it was like working together, and where they'd want to go if they could rip open tears. And then things get weird.more
|4:00 PM on 04.17.2013|
BioShock Infinite's problem is not violence
Last week, Jim and I were both on Destructoid’s new video series The Question. We took opposite positions of a question that seems to be tearing through a lot of the game world right now: “Is BioShock Infinite too...more
|4:00 PM on 04.15.2013|
BioShock Infinite is the history lesson gamers deserve
According to Google, "Boxer Rebellion", "Pinkerton" and "Wounded Knee" have been trending lately. BioShock Infinite is teaching gamers about the American history that often evades classrooms, churches, and homes. After years ...more
|12:15 PM on 04.15.2013|
BioShock Infinite vs. quantum mechanics
First off, there are major BioShock Infinite spoilers in the above video. Don't watch it if you haven't finished the game. While playing through BioShock Infinite, I wondered how well researched the science was behind some o...more
|12:00 PM on 04.12.2013|
Why does BioShock Infinite need to be non-violent?
"I want a BioShock where we have the OPTION to resolve confrontation without the use of guns," said one gamer to me today. As I consider his comment, I can't help but think more and more it's like saying you want a Metal Gear...more
|11:30 PM on 04.09.2013|
BioShock Infinite remade into text adventure
It's been infinitely interesting to take part in the industry-wide discussion about BioShock Infinite. Many in the gaming press LOVE the game, many developers are REVOLTED by it, and many gaming consumers say it's "...more
|6:00 PM on 05.16.2013|
Press Play talks Microsoft's microstudio approach
Max: The Curse of Brotherhood developer Press Play has once again talked about its fairly unique relationship with Microsoft, this time in an interview with OXM. The independent studio, it should be pointed out, was acquired ...more
|3:00 PM on 05.16.2013|
Six more titles greenlit on Steam
Six more Steam Greenlight titles were announced as greenlit today, with a healthy dose of variety in the types of games chosen. Horror fans can look forward to The Legend; platforming proponents should anticipate&nb...more
|12:15 PM on 05.16.2013|
Mayhem Bundle spreads the anarchy, indie style
On the cusp of a number of PC summer sales, Indie Royale has released another mostly-fantastic indie game compilation. Known as the The Mayhem Bundle, players will get five indie titles that sufficiently "bring the pain" thr...more