I know what you expected from an Iron Chef videogame, but that's not what this is. Instead of shoehorning the Food Network television show into a Wii Waggle, Cooking Mama-style formula game -- well, it is a Cooking Mama rip-off, but what makes it frightening is the production values, or lack thereof.
Instead of using cartoon art or even recorded video, the developers have opted to use some strange clay-looking...things as stand-ins for the Chairman, Alton Brown, and all the Iron Chefs. Instead of moving mouths, their faces deform as they talk and move. To see the chairman jump around makes my spine tingle. It haunts me at night.
And here's where it goes from scary to batsh*t insane: The Chairman screams everything at you. Commands, food names, everything. At first it's funny. But then it starts to wear on you, and by the end of a session, you're cowering in the corner, shivering, doing everything you can to get the Chairman's chunky clay visage out of your mind.
Dale North is Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief, a founding editor, and specialist in Japanese gaming. An accomplished musician, Dale was reporting from Japan during the earthquakes of 2011. Luckily, he got the fuck out alive and is home in America now with his wife and beloved corgi, Einstein. Dale is also a co-founder of Destructoid's sister anime site Japanator. Likes Corgis, Sega Saturn, PSP, iPhone, Photographic tools.
Meet the rest of the team
Okay, I'm a fan of Alton Brown, but damn...the character style looks like The Dark Eye, and that creeped me the hell out, too. At least they did it on purpose.
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Contest:
5:20 PM on 10.23.2009
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DEM CHEEKBONES
It almost seemed like something out of Robot chicken.
Worst Game Ever.
That clip was hilarious.
Man, I'm glad I didn't.
This is basically like something that Adult Swim would come up with for a mid season replacement when the new Superjail episode is delayed.
ALBACORE TUNA
WHITE SHRIMP!
VVEAAAL
SWEET POTATO!
SQUAB
Somebody make this a meme already!
SWEET POTATO! ZUCCHINI! :OD