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IRL Mario is a squatty pedophile photo

This artist's rendering of Mario almost blew my eyeballs out. It's that repulsive. My long standing mental image of Nintendo's cute mascot has been erased by this foul image, and I'll never look at him the same way again. Thanks for that.

Pixeloo created this unattractive IRL Mario with "Photoshop CS2 and a bunch of random faces pasted over a 3d render of Mario from Nintendo." It looks more like the dark arts were involved. They add that they threaten to give Homer Simpson the same treatment.

Let's hope that Nintendo doesn't go the photorealism route later and do something like this. Wait, I take that back. I wonder what Peach would look like.

[Via DarkDiamond








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Dale North is Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief, a founding editor, and specialist in Japanese gaming. An accomplished musician, Dale was reporting from Japan during the earthquakes of 2011. Luckily, he got the fuck out alive and is home in America now with his wife and beloved corgi, Einstein. Dale is also a co-founder of Destructoid's sister anime site Japanator. Likes Corgis, Sega Saturn, PSP, iPhone, Photographic tools. Meet the rest of the team



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54 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

cousinike's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:30
cousinike
Oooh Peach... and Daisy...
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:33
AgentMOO
KILL IT WITH FIRE
Jamie McGinn's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:34
Jamie McGinn
Yes my precious.... it's a me, Mario....
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:34
s0lesurviv0r
Coincidentally, SciFi is running a Leprechaun marathon today.
gotdurnrite's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:34
gotdurnrite
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

God that's creepy.
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:36
MATTFOO


HEY BABY!
big filth's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:36
big filth
id hit it.
Aertyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:37
Aertyr
Real Mario Adventures coming soon to the Wii.
nicojay's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:37
nicojay
I dunno, I wouldn't kick him out the bed.
Silverback 55's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:37
Silverback 55
wow, just wow. It's like he can see into my soul and take it from me.
Tragic Hero's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:37
Tragic Hero
LOTRs Mario?
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:38
king3vbo
So... very... afraid
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:38
Y0j1mb0
Next up..Bomberman!!
Morrius's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:39
Morrius


To me, to you, to me, to you.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:42
s0lesurviv0r
Damn, MATTFOO, is that the IRL Mileena?
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:46
mix
That is damn creepy
sleepingagain's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:47
sleepingagain
thats the guy you run from when you see him anywhere
Surf314's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:48
Surf314
He looks like he just needs a little love. And cocaine, lots of cocaine.
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:48
007
...
Tiff's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:48
Tiff
This is terrifying. There is no good reason that this rendering is so unshaven and gruff, not to mention wrinkly. Gross!
XivSpew's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:49
XivSpew
I think this treatment should be done to a lot more video game mascots. Tho something tells me Sonic might come out looking very Cthulhu-like.
big filth's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:52
big filth
fap fap fap fap fap
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:52
Cowzilla3
My eyes! Ze Goggles ze do nuthing!
MatCD's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:55
MatCD
the graphic are amazing...
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:56
HarassmentPanda
That is terrifying, but strangely awesome.
Orionsaint's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:59
Orionsaint
wow an itlaian sterotype
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 13:59
Justin Villasenor
This look would be perfect if Nintendo ever decided to make a survival-horror game.
J4RMZ's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 14:10
J4RMZ
Waiting in the tall grass...ready to steal your baby. And what is up with the crackhead eye veins?
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 14:20
Aaron Mxy Yost
Paging Chris Hansen...
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 14:33
Cheeburga
I'd let him touch me.
Kaspar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 14:39
Kaspar
Looks innocent.
In an innocent way.
liquidninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 14:45
liquidninja
He looks like the guy's that come to my house every once an a while trying to get me to go to their church.
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 14:58
Chocobo Knight
@MechaMonkey

LOL I thought the same thing.

"Mmmy prrrincesss...."
Dan CiTi's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 15:22
Dan CiTi
Fitting.
pixelsword's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 15:26
pixelsword
Funny thing is that Mario looks like someone I work with. Sheet! I wonder if I give him some 'shrooms will he grow.
Ascythopicism's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 15:52
Ascythopicism
Oh, you mean like this, Dale?

Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 16:09
Eschatos
Oh god! Those eyes!
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 17:04
Samit Sarkar
Yeah, it’s the eyes that really creep me out. *shudders*
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 17:51
Holyetheline
I saw this in the community blogs the other day.
Mabans's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 18:29
Mabans
Best Mario Picture ever.
moominsean's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 19:22
moominsean
bukowski mario...
Furnimus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 19:41
Furnimus
MechaMonkey wins the internets. He read my mind.

Dude they really took some time on that, they even took the time to put blackheads on his bulbous fatty nose. Ew.
ZombiePlatypus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 19:52
ZombiePlatypus
I cannot look away, his eyes lock on and follow you... How can y'all hate this? It's so insanely creepy that it's awesome.

I want him to make Bowser out of pieces of turltes and shit next. I doubt he's taking requests though, eh?
Andrew5329's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2008 20:47
Andrew5329
I just died a little when I saw mario that way.
Orochi Borgieman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/18/2008 02:14
Orochi Borgieman
I saw it...I can't unsaw it... :(
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/18/2008 02:25
pedrovay2003
Super Mario Bros. --- The Pixar Rendition.
Major Mustard's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/28/2008 05:48
Major Mustard
I'll take Bob Hoskins over this dude anyday.
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