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10:30 AM on 10.30.2013

Battlefield 4 AXE body spray commercial is ... uh huh ...

Hey kids, do you want to look at something stupid this morning? Look no further than this juicy slice of video idiocy, courtesy of Battlefield 4 and AXE's pore-closin' smell juice! Together, AXE and BF4 celebrate men and wom...

Jim Sterling


8:30 AM on 07.29.2013

Final Fantasy: All the Bravest merchandise f*cking exists

Final Fantasy: All the Bravest may well be the sleaziest, scummiest exploitation of a beloved videogame franchise this side of bootlegged Pikachu dolls. The "game" exists solely to leech cash from the "player," but Square Eni...

Jim Sterling

8:00 AM on 07.17.2013

Daily Mail claims Sonic made a boy have a heart attack

A 16-year-old boy with Asperger's syndrome and Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome had a heart attack after getting overexcited by Sonic the Hedgehog. The Daily Mail's take on the story? He was, of course, killed by a video...

Jim Sterling

12:15 PM on 07.01.2013

Pitchford encourages Aliens: Colonial Marines PR tactics

Randy Pitchford is far from ashamed that Aliens: Colonial Marines looked nowhere near as good in real life as it did in highly scripted showcase demos, going so far as to encourage the industry to do it more. According to the...

Jim Sterling

8:38 AM on 06.12.2013

Dead Rising 3 designed to appeal to Call of Duty fans

In a GameSpot report, Capcom demonstrated exactly how terminally bloody stupid the mainstream game industry truly is, confessing that Dead Rising 3 is planning to appeal to Call of Duty fans. Because of course, following the ...

Jim Sterling

9:30 AM on 05.28.2013

MS says gamers will buy everything, including Xbox One

Angry about the Xbox One? Put off by Microsoft's increasingly anti-consumer attitude? Company man Phil Spencer isn't worried. In fact, he's confident you'll buy anything it puts out, because that's what gamers do.  "We b...

Jim Sterling

9:00 AM on 05.25.2013

Microsoft: Xbox One reports 'inaccurate and incomplete'

Microsoft, by way of mouthpiece Major Nelson, has criticized reports on its Xbox One used game policy as "inaccurate and incomplete," seeming to miss the fact they're based entirely on Microsoft's own statements -- which have...

Jim Sterling

8:00 AM on 05.14.2013

Biden: No legal reason why 'violent' games can't be taxed

Vice President Joe Biden recently had a meeting with religious leaders to discuss gun control, and violent media was discussed. God forbid we don't obfuscate the gun discussion with more demented strawmen.  Reverend Fran...

Jim Sterling



Star Trek on PC is broken as f*ck! photo
Star Trek on PC is broken as f*ck!
by Jim Sterling

The latest Star Trek release has its fair share of problems -- chief among them being that it's kind of boring -- but PC users are in for an altogether more shocking problem. The online co-op, arguably the entire point of the game, simply does not work. 

Our own Rick Foom was unable to play the game last night, despite having bought it specifically for our Dtoid.tv live stream. He is one of many customers who obtained the game and found it useless for the one thing it was designed for. You had one job, Star Trek! You blew it. 

As you can see in our Super Best Guide for the game, going into a lobby wastes a few seconds of your time before it fails. This has been the story for many customers unfortunate enough to drop $60 on this game -- a game that's now been broken for three days. 

view full story + comments




Tomb Raider, Hitman, Sleeping Dogs all failed Square Enix photo
Tomb Raider, Hitman, Sleeping Dogs all failed Square Enix
by Jim Sterling

Despite each game clearing at least a million sales, Square Enix has revealed Tomb Raider, Hitman: Absolution and Sleeping Dogs all failed to meet their targets. This news comes on the same day the company projected a 13 billion yen loss and saw its president resign

Sleeping Dogs has sold an estimated 1.75 million copies to day, followed by Tomb Raider at 3.4 million and Hitman at 3.6 million. Square Enix blames these "slows sales" in part for its "extraordinary" financial losses this year. 

The company particularly points its finger at the North American market, claiming an "ineffective" sales force compared to Europe, where games performed two-thirds better. Another alleged problem is "price pressure," forcing Square Enix to spend more on such things as "price protection."

The publisher's report is yet more evidence of the so-called "AAA" market's downward spiral, where you can't even be considered a success in the face of selling millions of copies. This, along with Resident Evil 6 "failing" in spite of nearly five million sales and Dead Space 3 needing "five million" to survive, points to a market that's crashing and burning. 

Mainstream videogames have officially gone wrong. 

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2:30 PM on 03.18.2013

Sandy Hook shooter allegedly trying to beat a high score

An anonymous "law enforcement veteran" claims the Sandy Hook shooter was comparing "high scores" of previous mass murderers and intended to beat a record. According to this totally responsible and not-at-all reckless source, ...

Jim Sterling





1:00 PM on 03.16.2013

EA censors its own support number on its forums

[Editor's note: As I indicated in the third paragraph, I assumed that blocking the phone number on the forums has likely been a long-standing practice. As ZiggyMoff posted in the comments, Valve does something similar -- repl...

Tony Ponce



Teen shoots parents with pistol, blames violent games photo
Teen shoots parents with pistol, blames violent games
by Jim Sterling

A Washington state teen has been charged with murder, the 14-year-old having shot his mother and father in the head after he was grounded from electronic devices. Nathon Brooks may be tried as an adult for the crime, though reports suggest he might be suffering from mental illness of some kind. 

Brooks, for his part, has decided to shift the blame to violent videogames, in what looks like a cynical exploitation of ludicrous stereotypes to avoid accountability. 

"He said he quit playing violent videogames because he thought they were making him more violent," said Moses Lake police Sgt. Mike Williamst. "I asked him how much he played video games, and he told me '24/7,' up until he got his electronics taken away."

Brooks added a voice in his head was telling him to murder his parents, Jonathan and Elizabeth, and he had in fact considered murdering them since the age of eight. You can expect news sources to not focus so much on the "murderous head voice" thing and find the "GTA definitely did it" part far more salacious.

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6:00 AM on 03.12.2013

Zynga: Copying games is no big deal, don't worry about it

"Zynga is often accused of copying games, which is mostly true." Those were the words spoken by Dan Porter, General Manager of Zynga New York. It's no secret to anyone with the capacity for rational thought that the social ga...

Tony Ponce

7:30 PM on 03.04.2013

Donkey Kong also got ripped off for an iOS game

What was that saying again? "When it rains, it pours"? The Android developer who released a game unwittingly starring Yoshi may have been able to cover his ass -- albeit barely -- but there is no way in hell that the mastermi...

Tony Ponce

8:00 AM on 02.27.2013

EA plans a future of micro-transactions (Update)

[Update: According to TheSixthAxis, EA's CFO "misspoke" on the subject of game prices, and is actually expecting games to cost between $49 and $59, rather than the $69 he original talked about. Don't worry, they can always ma...

Jim Sterling