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The Jimquisition

Jimquisition: Gamer Guys

Jul 08 // Jim Sterling
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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Jimquisition travels to another time and another place, examining a world taken over by gamer guys and their testosterone-addled inanity. Something must be done! Fortunately, your ol' pal Jim Sterling is here to take those insincere culture thieves down a peg, and put gaming in the hands of those to whom it belongs. Welcome to the Sarkybastardverse, which is definitely a real thing now.

Jimquisition: Launch Splooge

Jul 01 // Jim Sterling
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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
As we head toward the launch of the Xbox One and PlayStation 4, we're going to soon be hearing about their launch libraries, and how awesome they are. Ignore these boasts. Let Jimquisition bring light into your life, explaining how the demand for a strong launch lineup is misplaced, and how consoles may screw themselves by spurting out a big wad at once.

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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
The Xbox One no longer enforces restrictions on used games, but the debate over console DRM is not over. One lingering question is this -- why are consoles criticized, but PC gets away with it? One would assume the plentiful...

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Xbox One got dat no DRM!
Xbox One Eighty more like HA HA HA HA HA! Jimquisition rushes to bring a half-baked opinion in the afterfall of Microsoft reversing its DRM policy on Xbox One.

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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Sony created a magic moment this past week at E3, declaring for the world that PS4 would not restrict used games or utilize DRM. Power to the people! Of course, it can be said Sony didn't actually do anything, yet is being l...

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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Well, Microsoft went and did it. It took the step publishers have fantasized over for years, and destroyed the concept of videogame ownership. The Xbox One will sell you games, but it keeps what it sells, while controlling a...

Jimquisition: Damn Fine Coffee

Jun 03 // Jim Sterling
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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
How do you like your coffee? Blacker than midnight on a moonless night? Or is that just what you want people to think? Asking consumers what coffee they drink is a fine example of demonstrating exactly how problematic a focu...

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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
The Xbox One will kill used games and control second-hand sales, and some people think that's great. Jim Sterling is not among them. While members of the gaming media attempt to see the positive side of murdering the used ga...

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Bonus Jimquisition gives Microsoft a telling off
The Xbox One was revealed this weak to thunderous applause. Oh wait, did we say applause? We meant, farts. Thunderous farts. Speaking of farts, here's a man who loves the smell of his, tearing Microsoft's unified entertainment philosophy to shreds and arguing how the Xbox One is basically a system for nobody but the privileged and demented.

Jimquisition: Guns Blazing

May 20 // Jim Sterling
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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Dark Souls 2 is all about going in, guns blazing, and hoping to God it works. Oh dear. Namco Bandai's PR chief recently shone a spectacular light on the broken mentality of "AAA" publishers, describing the promotion of ...

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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
A common argument in the ongoing debate over gender and videogames is that women and men both are equally objectified. Is that really true? As always, Emperor God King Jim Sterling puts His holy foot down and delivers wisdom true to the masses. He totally isn't smug about it, either!

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Jimquisition: Lawsuits, Memes, and Tasty Medicine


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
May 06
// Jim Sterling
Warner Bros. and 5th Cell are facing a lawsuit over the inclusion of Keyboard Cat and Nyan Cat in Scribblenauts. Preposterous, you say? Greedy, are the meme makers? I say well done them! It's absolutely about time Warne...
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Jimquisition: Boob Wars and Dragon Crowns


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Apr 29
// Jim Sterling
Dragon's Crown has become the latest game involved in a big argument. Big boobs, burly dwarves, and Kotaku were all involved. Gender issues in games are important. They are worth thinking about. They are, contrary to po...
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Jimquisition: Among the Sleep


Krillbite's baby-flavored horror game gets played
Apr 25
// Jim Sterling
Among the Sleep is an upcoming horror game, all about being a two-year-old child. Yeah, it's spooky! The game's currently trying to get Kickstarter funding and, unlike many Kickstarters, your ol' pal Jim Sterl...
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Jimquisition happens every Monday!
This week, Jimquisition gives you a brief lesson in pasta sauce, and ties it into the misguided quest for perfection currently plaguing the so-called "AAA" title scene. Expanding on a few ideas found in last week's...

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Jimquisition

Jimquisition: Dark Souls and Dark Sales


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Apr 15
// Jim Sterling
Dark Souls sold over two million copies and is a bonafide success. Tomb Raider sold over three million copies and is a disappointing failure. Wut? Different projects obviously have different standards for succ...
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Jimquisition: Why An Always-On DRM Console Is Dumb


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Apr 08
// Jim Sterling
Just talking about an "always-on" Xbox is a really dumb idea. Hopefully not even Microsoft would be so stupid, but just in case any of the platform holders are seriously considering this awful, nasty little idea, let Jimquisition lay out the many good reasons as to why an always-on console would be utterly ludicrous. Seriously, it's ... it's terrible. Deal with it!
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Female protagonists

Jimquisition: The Creepy Cull of Female Protagonists


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Mar 25
// Jim Sterling
The game industry doesn't want female characters. That is allegedly the message publishers have been sending to developers. As female characters get hidden from the front covers of games and projects with leading ladies are ...
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Jimquisition: Innovation - Gaming's Snake Oil


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Mar 18
// Jim Sterling
There's nothing wrong with a game that innovates. There's everything wrong with a game that goes out of its way to innovate without reason. Like any tool, innovation is neither good nor bad, and it has its specific uses. How...
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Jimquisition: SimShitty


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Mar 11
// Jim Sterling
DRM is back again, and it's here to stay! Games are a service, so we're told, but who do they really serve? SimCity's failure to launch thanks to ludicrous DRM restrictions has been the hot topic of the week, and naturally there's a Jimquisition afoot to skewer Electronic Arts right in its Electronic Nads. Time to put a bit of stick about, wouldn't you say?
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Jimquisition: New Generation, Old Bullsh*t


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Feb 25
// Jim Sterling
The PlayStation 4 was announced last week, but Sterling wasn't quite feeling the buzz. The PS4 is interesting, Sony's plans are promising, but the industry itself, and the culture of business around console games? THAT is what needs a new generation. Hardware is just a placebo if the attitudes showcased at the big PS4 reveal are anything to go by.
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Jimquisition: Previewed, Preordered, Prescrewed


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Feb 18
// Jim Sterling
Preorder culture expects gamers to trust developers more than ever, but how does that work when they inspire so little faith? The "take cash now, provide content later" tactic is currently serving companies well, but with re...
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Jimquisition: A-LIE-ns: Colonial Marines


Emergency Jimquisition!
Feb 13
// Jim Sterling
Waking through Gearbox's walkthrough of Aliens: Colonial Marines. That is, the Aliens: Colonial Marines Gearbox wanted the world to believe in, not the one that actually happened. While demo footage is not represen...
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Jimquisition: Companies Exist to Make Money


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Feb 11
// Jim Sterling
Jimquisition's had it wrong all this time. Videogame companies exist to make money, so it was foolish to ever suggest their anti-consumer policies are awful, reckless, and deserving of criticism. That was all sarcasm, just then.
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Jimquisition: Breaking the Bones of Business


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Jan 28
// Jim Sterling
A new business model comes along, designed to attract gamers with interesting ideas and consumer-friendly pricing. The old businesses latch onto it. The old businesses pervert it to suit their own miserable ends. Free-to-pla...
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Jimquisition: Accepting the Isms


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Jan 21
// Jim Sterling
Games are racist. Games are homophobic. Games are sexist. And that's okay! Well, maybe not OKAY, but it is alright to acknowledge that, sometimes, videogames get it wrong. Everybody gets it wrong, and games can't be the exce...
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Jimquisition: Only the Lonely


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Jan 14
// Jim Sterling
The videogame industry wants you to believe that the offline experience is for miserable loners. Lonely is bad. Lonely is sad. Lonely people want lonely games because they don't have any friends. Only the lonely want to be d...
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Jimquisition: Desensitized to Violence


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Jan 07
// Jim Sterling
Warning -- Contains graphic content. If you don't want to see disturbing Internet things, skip the footage starting at 1:20 and ending at 1:49.  As the mainstream news media continues to revel in the Sandy Hook shooting...
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Jimquisition

Jimquisition: Epic Hole (B Mine Cliffy)


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Dec 31
// Jim Sterling
Over a year ago, Cliff Bleszinski (then of Epic Games) and myself had a public falling out and have never traded a word since. Ever a man of peace and goodwill, I hereby extend the olive branch the only way I know how -- with a little help from The Escapist's very own Miracle of Sound.






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