Sometimes playing video games is a fun experience and everyone enjoys themselves. Other times, someone winds up screaming at the TV. That's life. However, I can't remember the last time I found myself screaming "Eat the f*cki...
I think the lesson Bill and I learned playing D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die is that we need to calibrate the Kinect, and make sure it can see us properly. Beyond that, I'm still unclear what this game is about, and it's vaguely upsetting to try and make sense of it.
It feels a bit like some kind of crossover between Cheers and The Butterfly Effect, but through a glass darkly, and from within a thick cloud of paint fumes. Is that a good thing? I don't know. But we sure look stupid playing it.
Our pal Mike Cosimano (who, in all seriousness rivals Jonathan Holmes when it comes to kindness and all-around positivity) was our video editing man at PAX Prime earlier this month. I made sure he got a chance to check out some games he wanted to see, and two of those games were Until Dawn and Bloodborne.
Both of those games were too scary for me and Bill to cover, so Mike did us a solid and summed up his thoughts in this lovely video, though first he had to go to back to college and then attend a Transformers convention. Sorry for the delay!
Sunset Overdrive was one of the most exciting announcements to come out of E3 2013, and since then, I've had numerous people say it looks like a game made just for me.
For whatever reason, I didn't get a chance to check it out at E3 or PAX, and a couple weeks ago, I was giddy to finally sit down and check it out. I played through the first hour or so, and while it seems like a pretty solid game, I came away feeling totally uninterested.
Maybe it's a case of hype fatigue, or maybe I'm just too old for energy drinks and parkour. Maybe I just need something weirder to scratch that itch. Anyway, check out the video for my full thoughts.
Man, Destiny. I seriously can't remember the last game that I felt so ambivalent about, but was so completely hooked on. Here's me and Bill dicking around on the Moon and discussing our general thoughts on the game, and killing the Moon-Princes with a big dumb sword.
Is it a "Let's Play?" I don't know. But we're enjoying ourselves, and maybe you'll enjoy watching our enjoyment.
Monday is the worst day of the week, so Bill and I are coping with it by drinking blueberry smoothies and talking about wonderful things like superhero nonsense from Comic-Con, Mass Effect's exciting new (old) sharkmobile, Trine 2's awful poetry, Destiny's two unoriginal races, and True Detective, which Bill doesn't like, and therefore isn't allowed to have blueberry smoothies anymore.
As we recently learned, Sunset Overdrive lets players protect their genitals with the head of a green kangaroo, which is a very silly idea. But is that silly enough, in this post-Saints Row world? The answer is "who cares?" because there are also Hawaiian Shirts and Hawaiian Shirts are my jam.
One of my favorite parts of Pokémon Black & White was the ability to haze your magical pets by dressing them up and having them perform musical theatre, so putting Pikachu in drag in Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby sounds awesome to me. If you want to watch the full Pokémon trailer in all its awkwardly-paced Nintendo-approved sterile family-friendly glory, here it is.
For whatever reason, AOL accidentally let the cat out of the bag about Tekken 7, which is going to be running on Unreal Engine 4, and now we have a big ol' trailer for the game. Meanwhile, in a different game about guys with dumb hair hitting each other, Raiden has been revealed for Mortal Kombat X, and he seems to have a very loose understanding of what thunder can and can't block out.
I've liked just about everything I've seen from Dragon Age: Inquisition, which is weird, because historically I've basically avoided the series. Here is literally everything I knew about the previous Dragon Age games going into my Inquisition hands-on:
They are fantasy RPGs developed by BioWare
The first game was called "Origins," which is so redundant it's actually confusing. I spent a year or two thinking it was a prequel to another game.
The second game reused a bunch of dungeons.
You can do totally horny sex stuff. Er, I mean, there are "romance scenes."
An early episode of The Destructoid Show with "Dragon Age Blowjobs" in the video title is the single highest viewed video on our channel.
The pre-order bonuses for Alien: Isolation have been announced, and they're really, really cool... but should we take it at some kind of sign? After all, it was a very similar lust for bonuses that led to the crew of The Nostromo investigating the distress signal coming from LV-426, in the process granting passage to the film's titular nightmarish stowaway.
Sometimes, when I check my email, I find wonderful things like messages from friends and family, beta invites, or announcements that something I ordered has shipped. Sometimes, I find a pile of press releases. Sometimes they're harmless, and sometimes they make me wish Y2K had actually been as much of a disaster as promised.
Sharknado: The Video Game will be coming to mobile devices sometime this month.
Today is Canada day. And since "Canada" sounds kind of, sort of like "Kaneda," the hero of Otomo Katsuhiro's groundbreaking cyberpunk manga-turned-anime Akira, that's reason enough for me to put on my favorite red jacket and talk about one of his favorite pieces of media ever... Japanese, Canadian, or otherwise.
In a lovingly overproduced developer diary, a couple of Sledgehammer bros ran down the exciting new gear in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, including this year's "game-changer," the exo-skeleton, and hyped some of their other groundbreaking innovations such as... as laser. If nothing else, there was an opening for a Mountain Dew joke.