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Electronic Super Joy photo
Electronic Super Joy

Hot Sticky Mess is the 'hardest' Electronic Super Joy DLC to date

Your buttless ass is in for a world of hurt
Dec 07
// Jonathan Holmes
[Update: The levels in Hot Sticky Mess were designed by Don Nguyen and Cassie Chui, not Michael Todd and Cassie Chui as originally reported. Apologizes for the error.] Electronic Super Joy is a happy, scary game about a...
Pinch 50 Barrage photo
Pinch 50 Barrage

Heavy breathing and screaming man game hits 3DS in Japan

It's a 2D platformer
Oct 05
// Jonathan Holmes
Growing up, games like Jungle Hunt, Pitfall, and Congo Bongo were the equivalent to today's "AAA experiences". It was just a given that people wanted to play games about defenseless men in the jungle avoiding outrageous deat...
HappyPlayTime photo

Surprise, this game about masturbation wasn't allowed on the App Store

I'm touched, really
May 16
// Brittany Vincent
Color absolutely no one surprised. HappyPlayTime, an educational tool of sorts for women, has been rejected by the App Store, on the grounds that "the concept is not something that Apple wants to go forward with." Not too big...
NSFW photo

Sleepy Time is a Rhythm Depression Masturbation sensation

The Maya Bros new beat-driven one-handed journey into sorrow
Apr 27
// Jonathan Holmes
A lot of weird, unmarketable, one track minded games are referred to as "masturbatory" by their detractors. From a wider perspective, many detractors of videogames in general refer to the medium as "masturbatory", as so many ...
Happy Valentine's Day, you filthy animals
[Update: Contest over! Winners have been sent their codes.] Dtoid has just acquired 70 codes for the PS3/Vita version of Hotline Miami and I REALLY WANT YOU TO WIN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. Here's the deal: th...


Videogame Clubhouse: The Valentine's Day special

Feb 13
// Spencer Hayes
It's time for that annual occurrence of public shame and humiliation: Valentine's Day. If that sentence wasn't enough to tip you off then know that I'm not a big fan of the holiday. So what is a guy to do to prepare himself f...

Vita card game Monster Monpiece comes to NA, EU

Some card images cut, though
Jan 21
// Dale North
Idea Factory International's first Vita game, Monster Monpiece, has been confirmed for North America and Europe today. This tactical card battle with RPG elements comes to PSN this spring.  If the name sounds familiar, ...
Max Scoville presents "Sexy Video Game News-Hole"
As you might've heard yesterday, I am back with Destructoid as full-time Video Warlock. And so, I've wasted absolutely no time whatsoever abusing my newfound power, and here's the first episode of my new show: Sexy Video Gam...


Get ready to spank: Saints Row IV: Enter The Dominatrix

Oct 23
// Dale North
We thought Saints Row: The Third expansion Enter the Dominatrix was some silly, horny internet thing. But it's real, and it's out today on the PSN, XBLA and Steam, priced at $6.99. If you've got a season pass, well, it'...

Jimquisition: Neutered

Aug 12 // Jim Sterling
Jimquisition photo
Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Why do gamers defend their favorite titles from criticism with such volatility? According to some, it's because they don't want to see their genitalia removed. Is inclusivity the enemy of creativity? Is restriction an inherent part of congeniality? The Jimquisition considers recent controversies against the fear of a game being "neutered" to "pander" to new audiences.


Rayman on PC, Incognita, Saints Row IV & More Oculus XXX

The Destructoid Show likes turtles
Jul 26
// Max Scoville
Hey guys! I'm back! And here's today's Destructoid Show, gettin' nasty and stupid with its bad self. Rayman Legends is hitting PC, which is great. The Oculus Rift is supported by a game about sexy maids, Saints Row IV has a ...

Erotica game with the penis controller adds Rift support

The future is now
Jul 26
// Hamza CTZ Aziz
Have you heard about Custom Maid 3D? It's a game where you create your own custom maids and then do things to them. Sexual things. And you do these sexual things by using the Ju-C Air Support controller. It resembles a PlayS...

Star Wars: Battlefront, Ellen Page, & Sexy Suda51

The Destructoid Show has a visit from Uncle Sessler
Jun 25
// Max Scoville
DICE is as excited about Star Wars: Battlefront as you are, Ellen Page is pissed about Ellie in The Last Of Us looking like her, Saints Row IV is too explicit for Australia, and Suda51 gives his stance on sexuality in Killer Is Dead. Adam Sessler fills in for Tara, and we talk about his fun panel with Jim Sterling, and how I'm a suicidal Pikachu.
Dtoid Show photo
Dtoid Show

No Xbox One DRM, Titanfall, Halo, & Oculus Rift VR Sex

The Destructoid Show puts on its wizard hat and robe
Jun 21
// Max Scoville
Hey everybody! It's The Destructoid Show! ...Again! Microsoft dropped their dumb DRM, but there's a day one patch, and we're losing some features. But hey, free Xbox Live games. Titanfall has no single-player campaign, ...

Yep: Oculus Rift getting a sex game, Wicked Paradise

Prepare to experience sexual magic
Jun 17
// Jim Sterling
It was only a matter of time. The highly anticipated Oculus Rift is getting its very own virtual sex game, Wicked Paradise. According to itself, it's "the world's first erotic virtual reality adventure game." You love it. "Im...

Microsoft clarifies Xbox One's Killer Instinct situation

Not scripted, says Microsoft
Jun 10
// Jim Sterling
[Update: Microsoft has issued a response to the kerfuffle surrounding the incident this morning, which reads as such: "The comments in question during the Killer Instinct demo were not scripted. The demo was meant to include...
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

May 16
// Jim Sterling
SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The servic...

How eager nipples and a tight thong fought casual sexism

May 15 // Jim Sterling
Bro-sie the Riveter was created as a male counterpart to Ms. Underboob, and was hung in her place ... with emphasis on the hung.  Things went well on the morning of the switch. Anonymous was giddy with delight, co-workers discovered the prank (unleashed on April 1) and laughed. Everything was fine until Mark Long himself arrived, and saw his beloved boobs replaced with a magnificent man-package.  "We hear a loud: 'What the hell is this?!' And then all goes quiet. Ten minutes pass. We panic. "We are both suddenly and painfully aware that we have, in fact, just punked the CEO of our company. He is by all accounts an awesome dude. He is also a late-50s ex-army guy who happens to determine our employment futures in an at-will state. Meep." Fortunately, Long is as awesome as the employee hints, as he not only saw the funny side, he reflected on how his choice of decor may affect others.  "That was a brilliant prank," Long told his employee, "You called me on exactly the bullshit I need to be called on. I put up pictures of half-naked girls around the office all the time and I never think about it. I’m taking you and Sam to lunch. And after that, we’re going to hang both prints, side by side." It can be argued that Long kind of missed the point, since the original poster is still up. It's at least a compromise though, which is one step in a half-decent direction. You don't get too many of them these days, and it's always pleasant to see. It's also a nice lesson in how many people might come across as assholes but are just, well, kind of ignorant of a problem and, once they're aware, they can take steps to fix their part in it.  Not always though. Some of them really are just total assholes. You need to call them out on their shit to separate them, though, and this was certainly an amusing example of that being done. 
Sexy Hawken photo
Bro-sie the Riveter versus Ruby Underboob
Hawken publisher Meteor has, in its office, a piece of art featuring a woman with a bountiful underboob and very little in the way of clothing, hung in place by CEO Mark Long. The half-naked woman, named "Ruby Underboob"...

Jimquisition happens every Monday!
A common argument in the ongoing debate over gender and videogames is that women and men both are equally objectified. Is that really true? As always, Emperor God King Jim Sterling puts His holy foot down and delivers wisdom true to the masses. He totally isn't smug about it, either!


Kotaku lied: Nintendo loves penises AND butts!

Destructoid offers a re-BUTT-al
May 09
// Jim Sterling
In a recent article on Kotaku, writer Patricia Hernandez pointed out that, while Nintendo will censor asses, it has no problem showcasing a delicious penis.  She used Animal Crossing: New Leaf as evidence, criticizing Ni...

Gearbox artist slams Dragon's Crown character design

May 01 // Jim Sterling
As one might expect, Hamm's comments have drawn considerable heat from Dragon's Crown fans, particularly on NeoGAF. Gearbox's own history of female design has been brought up multiple times in response to the criticism, with Borderlands' Mad Moxxi and Duke Nukem Forever's entire existence providing alleged examples of similar female objectification.  Images such as the one above have been used to refute Hamm's point, though to be fair, it's worth pointing out that Hamm is responsible only for Gearbox's environmental art, and her own designs of female characters are both tasteful and quite excellent. Still, gender issues are treacherous waters, and it's inevitable Gearbox's history would be part of the splashback.  That said, it's also been argued that Gearbox's designs as they stand can't be compared to Dragon's Crown's overtly exaggerated characters.  "Nothing in Borderlands posted so far is remotely in the same ballpark," said one NeoGAF poster.  Indeed, while Moxxi clearly has her breasts on show, she is at least sensibly proportioned and her costume actually fits the context of her character. She's not going out to battle dressed in that attire, she's supposed to be an entertainer and the owner of a bar with a deliberately titillating aesthetic. That's not to say she's designed inherently "better" than Tamikani's characters, but it's hard to compare the two in this particular discussion.  In any case, the Dragon's Crown debate rages on, even as those who claim to be tired of it continue to post in forum and comment threads every time it comes up. Indeed, this shows no signs of going away yet.  Still, this is probably the most advertising a Vanillaware game's ever gotten.
Dragon's Crown photo
The boob wars continue
The Dragon's Crown "thing" shows no sign of stopping, with vehement and sometimes venomous opinions flying this way and that. To bring you up to speed, Vanillaware's upcoming brawler features a big-boobed Sorceress, the desig...


Jimquisition: Boob Wars and Dragon Crowns

Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Apr 29
// Jim Sterling
Dragon's Crown has become the latest game involved in a big argument. Big boobs, burly dwarves, and Kotaku were all involved. Gender issues in games are important. They are worth thinking about. They are, contrary to po...
The Destructoid Show can see through your clothes
Hello boys and girls, here's today's Destructoid Show for you to rub your dirty little eyeballs all over. Mmmm. Yes, just like that. Bethesda is done with Skyrim, and they've now begun teasing their next exciting mystery pro...

2 SEXY 4 U photo
2 SEXY 4 U

Study: Xbox gamers way more awesome at sex than PC gamers

In other news, here's a picture of Tingle
Apr 05
// Allistair Pinsof
UK discount site Voucher Codes Pro asked 1,747 partners of gamers how they would rate their partner "in the bedroom." I think they mean sex. Those who primarily game on Xbox received the highest marks with 54% describing them...

More views of naughty Fire Emblem: Awakening Tharja fig

'round back
Feb 28
// Dale North
Remember that naughty Tharja figure scuplt from Wonder Festival 2013 from a few weeks back? You all had a lot to say about it, and I'm not surprised about that. But what is surprising is that people are st...

EA + Tabloid = Half-naked woman in Crysis 3 bodypaint

Sleaze meets sleaze to have a sleazy little baby
Feb 20
// Jim Sterling
The Sun loves to talk about how dangerous those violent videogames are, and frequently runs stories vilifying interactive entertainment for inspiring crime and teaching the youth of Britain all sorts of terrible things. Still...
Street Fighter photo
Street Fighter

Street Fighter III's Q is a sexual Kermit the Frog

brentalfloss sings "The Total Destruction"
Feb 18
// Tony Ponce
The enigmatic Q from Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike is a freak. That we know. His Total Destruction technique certainly doesn't leave much room for ambiguity. You do have to wonder what must be going on through his / hers / ...

Confessions: All the RPG girls I've loved before

Feb 14 // Dale North
Quistis TrepeGame: Final Fantasy VIII I lied on the type thing in my introduction. I really do have a type. It's Quistis. Blonde, tall, confident. Glasses. Nerdy hot -- there's nothing more attractive than a smart girl to me. Quistis goes way beyond cute librarian, though. She's actually brilliant, working as an instructor at Balamb Garden. Yep, I've got the hots for teacher.  There was a scene where Quistis took her glasses off. I lost it. That's the magic of glasses, folks. You take them off at key times and it kills. I love her brain, I dig her confidence, and I'm in love with the fact that she's a Blue Mage. But I don't really like her belt (straighten that thing out!), and I would prefer that she put her hair down once in awhile. Someone on Deviantart completed the fantasy for me. I want to eat her hair. Rinoa HeartillyGame: Final Fantasy VIII I was not originally part of the Rinoa camp (see above), but on a road trip I took not too long after finishing Final Fantasy VIII, I stopped into a market to buy root beer or Gysahl Greens or something. In the checkout line I ran into a girl that looked exactly like Rinoa -- jet-black hair, huge, intense eyes, soft skin, and that perfect flirty half-smile. She was even wearing the game character's robe-ish, cabled top, though it was white instead of blue. When she turned my direction her eyes opened even wider, in that impossible way that breathless anime girls in love do. My heart stopped. My head tilted upward. Soft focus. I saw fields of flowers flutter down from the sky; the dingy market started to turn green and breezy. This fantasy only lasted for a second or two before she turned back around to check out, but I've been in love with Rinoa ever since.  GarnetGame: Final Fantasy IX So, uh…quick question. For a friend. Would liking Garnet make me this friend a pedophile? You know, just asking for some color on the situation. Nothing serious. Just friends talking, right? AigisGame: Persona 3 Forbidden love? Future love? I'm not yet clear on the technicalities of robot/weapon love, but I'll figure it out for Persona 3's Aigis. Pixie haircut on an android? It shouldn't, but it works for me.  Something about Aigis makes me want to take her out and show her the world. I imagine us having a picnic in the park. She's in a lovely sundress (cover up those hip…things, please) and we're sitting underneath the shade of a large oak tree as it's hot outside, though she'll never sweat. I'm hand feeding her homemade fried chicken from a bento that I made the night before just for this occasion, though she'll never be able to digest it. I take hold of her face with my hand, wiping a bit of food off her cool, smooth chin. She reaches up with her metal hand to grasp mine, and her eye cameras focus on my eyes. I see her humanity beyond the lenses, sensors, and wires. Beyond her robot-ish toughness, I can clearly see sweetness, kindness, and the desire to live. This is why I am in love. Nah, I just love her pixie haircut.  AnnaGame: Fire Emblem series Anna is the newest on my stalker list, though she has been around for a while in the Fire Emblem world. That red hair, that sly smile. I'm this shopkeep's most loyal customer. In doing the math to try to understand my love for her, I found that 80 percent of my affection comes directly from how she places her fingertip on her chin in a cute, thoughtful way -- her default pose. The other 20 percent can be attributed to the way that she swivels her hips and rocks back and forth in her adorable victory dance. That's all it takes for me. I've never been one for that multi-way with identical twins fantasy, honestly.  NeiGame: Phantasy Star II This sexy, purple-haired, pointy-eared biomonster was probably my first RPG crush. Loved that choker. I should have never rolled with her on that date to that Climacontrol place. Shion UzukiGame: Xenosaga series Again, I love brainy heroines. Xenosaga's beautiful, bespectacled scientist is brilliant enough that she heads up research and development that would blow a rocket scientist's mind, but is still cool enough that she hangs out with deadly/sexy android weapons during her downtime. I like that she's confident enough to wear things like that skanky two-tone skirt outfit from the first game, but you'd never call her out on it with that huge gun she carries. Oh, and she's a martial artist, so you'd keep your mouth shut anyway. I love Shion for how tough she is. She had a rough childhood, and things got even worse for her as she became older. Despite losing loved ones and being wrapped up in one of the most complicated, convoluted RPG story arcs ever created, she maintains her positive outlook and cheeky smile. Who wouldn't love a girl this strong? They turned up the dial from cute to sexy from the first Xenosaga to Xenosaga II for Shion, removing her glasses and showing a bit more skin, but I have a soft spot for the sweet, stupid, and somewhat dorky Shion. You'll never beat pigtails and glasses. Never. LuciaGame: Lunar: Eternal Blue I'd be all over Lucia like Ruby (Lunar: Eternal Blue's flying cat) on fish. Princess, savior, destroyer of worlds? Who cares! This delightful deity had me wishing on a dream that seemed far off that she was real somewhere when I first played Lunar: Eternal Blue. To this day, I still want blue hair to be a real thing. I've never looked forward to RPG cutscenes more than I did with this game, and it was all for Lucia. Her and those dragon-summoning legs. Her royal-ish goddess clothing did something for me. It was like I was after something I wasn't supposed to have. Lucia is 1,000 years and 1,000 levels beyond that unobtainable girl in high school. Class all the way. Just like that far off Blue Star, Lucia is so far away. Untouchable. And that makes me love her even more.  LibraGame: Fire Emblem: Awakening Beg pardon?
Love confession photo
My Valentines
My type? Hmmm. I don't know that I have a type. You see, I like redheads, but I also dig blueheads. I like tall girls, small girls, old girls, and relatively young (but still age appropriate) dragon-girls. Graceful and sweet ...

Heart to Get photo
Heart to Get

This is a game you play by literally beating your meat

Give that meat a nice, firm squeeze
Jan 31
// Tony Ponce
"A beating heart" was the theme of this year's Global Game Jam -- an event held in various sites around the world simultaneously where participants have to design a game in 48 hours. And among all the submissions, Heart to G...
Promoted Blog photo
Promoted Blog

I'll face myself: Transcending the gender binary in games

Promoted from our Community Blogs
Jan 30
// Pixie The Fairy
[Dtoid community blogger Pixielated shares an introductory blog with the community and examines how some positive gender representations in gaming can help people better understand their own identity. Want to see your own wor...

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