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#Offbeat

Cannibal perk photo
Cannibal perk

If you have to cannibalize someone, where do you start?

One of Kyle's chickens died. That's a bummer. His dog got a hold of it and it was bye-bye birdie. Kyle's misfortune somehow led to Darren's wild postulation that he'd have no problem eating Zack and that he'd have no problem if Zack ate him...

 
NBA 2K16 mod (funnny!!!!) photo
NBA 2K16 mod (funnny!!!!)

Modders turn basketball stars into sexfully-horrifying cheerleaders

Even you non-sports-liking heathens have to admit that sports yields some of the best gifs. I mean, there's an entire industry and 24-hour network based around the "highlight," a primordial gif. Plus remember when the Toronto Raptors masco...

 
Steam is vapor photo
Steam is vapor

Vaping congressman used $1,302 of campaign funds on Steam games

San Diego-adjacent congressman Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) is dealing with inquiry by the Federal Election Commission, "for his use of campaign funds to pay for video games on 68 separate occasions," according to the San Diego Union Tribune. H...

 
Last of Us movie photo
Last of Us movie

The Last of Us movie is in 'development hell'

Almost a year and a half ago The Last of Us writer Neil Druckmann, who was penning the script for the film, was explaining how it would be "pretty faithful" despite "some big changes," which is fun. But speaking to IGN, Druckmann explains, ...

 
Dark Souls III photo
Dark Souls III

See Dark Souls' giant-ass Great Sword of Artorias in real life

We are somehow still one week away from Dark Souls 3/my birthday, which is good; you have time to buy me something still. Please collaborate amongst yourselves to avoid double-gifting. It is weird, though, with the game effectively ou...

 
Tay and You! photo
Tay and You!

Microsoft muzzles its horny nazi teen girl AI

I love to have fun on the web. But it's precisely because of the individual's propensity for fun online that large, multi-person entities might want to reconsider trying to have fun online. It's funny when sports site Deadspin tells Donald ...

 
Boondogl photo
Boondogl

Why the fuck would you call your service 'boondoggle'?

Here is what Google greets you with when you search "boondoggle:" "noun. 1. work or activity that is wasteful or pointless but gives the appearance of having value." Which, I mean, is appropriate for Boondogl, the just-launched monthly subs...

 
When the GIF is funny photo
When the GIF is funny

Don't forget your Stretch Armstrong UFC 2 cheat codes

Do kids still have Stretch Armstrongs or is it all iPhones, sex boxes, and designer drugs for today's tots? Well I'm sure they can play UFC 2 on their Nintendos or whatever.

 
Splatoon lint roller photo
Splatoon lint roller

Splatoon has an official lint roller, ya filthy animals

Some of you know this, but I have a cat. And boy, what a cat he is. As such, I am perpetually covered in lint. Look at that luxurious hair. Sure, if I'm wearing black, it's doubly apparent, but I have lily white bath towels equally covered...

 
Old piracy paid up photo
Old piracy paid up

Diablo pirate pays up in person 19 years later

In a much more tender (than poop-suicide) end to the Game Developers Conference, at today's post-mortem talk on the first Diablo, writer Shivam Bhatt stepped up during the Q&A session of the talk to apologize to Diablo creator David Bre...

 
Frog Fractions 2? photo
Frog Fractions 2?

This Frog Fractions promotional art is amazing

These stickers for Frog Fractions III (which is actually Frog Fractions VI in Japan) were found floating around GDC, and they might just be my favorite promotional materials ever. Of course, I'm still waiting on Frog Fractions II (also know...

 
Hitman photo
Hitman

Fun with Hitman, TRAPDOOR SPIDER STYLE

I wanted to try out the sniper rifle. Because of Hitman's one-big-mission episodic release and associated experience system, it wasn't unlocked as a drop you can have pre-placed in the map until a few successful assassination attempts. Ther...

 
Div! Face! Div! Face! photo
Div! Face! Div! Face!

The Division really does have Assassin's Creed's skeleton

Look, I joke that all of Ubisoft's big, AAA, 3D games are the same. And you know what they say about jokes: you are one. And you know what they say about you: there's a little bit of truth to every one of you. Therefore, transitively, there...

 
The Division photo
The Division

Eat rats

Ubisoft Presents Steven Hansen's Tom Clancy's The Division is an MMO-lite a la Destiny, but that doesn't mean it can't bring in some moral choice flavor dialogue. Eats rats or starve!

 
THE GREAT MOUTH DETECTIVE
Yesterday, Jordan, Brett, and I came to a stunning conclusion in our daily office chatroom, in between images of cute animals and Hitler playing Xbox 360: we are all top-flight taste makers in the cereal world. You see, we al...   read

The Division photo
The Division

The Division: Best waiting-in-line sim of 2016?

Steven Hansen Presents Tom Clancy's The Division came out today. Chris is working tirelessly on a verdict, but if you've played a Ubisoft game, you probably know what to expect, with that company's wide paint brush of open-world business (...

 
Soccer x Pokemon photo
Soccer x Pokemon

Mexican soccer pays weird tribute to 20 years of Pokemon

Pachuca played Dorados de Sinaloa over the weekend in a Liga MX match up (that's Mexico's top soccer league -- go Deportivo Toluca F.C.!) and Pachuca's social media presence put some real effort into celebrating the 20th anniversary of Poke...

 
Agar.io photo
Agar.io

House of Cards continues gaming cameos with extra indie cred

For a show about king-making, fraught alliances, and betrayal, Agar.io is a pretty good fit for Netflix's original show House of Cards, which seemingly filled a lot of the internet's collective binging bandwidth this weekend (while I ...

 
CLICKBAIT photo
CLICKBAIT

Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto liked Star Wars VII

Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto is in good company: the Mario and Zelda creator did not like George Lucas' prequel trilogy, but did find Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens to be one of his favorite movies from 2015. Miyamoto told Game Inf...

 
Lightning cosplay photo
Lightning cosplay

No, it's not in-game, this is Lightning cosplay

Let's get the potshot out of the way. Wow, this Lightning cosplay looks so much like a CG model -- perfectly captures Lightning's lack of emotion! Of course, we know that there's a lot of depth behind Claire "Lightning" Farron. A a warm per...

 
Black Ops battle photo
Black Ops battle

Square Enix kicked Sony's ass in Call of Duty: Black Ops III

Fun fact I realized during my first Tokyo Game Show: Square Enix publishes Call of Duty in Japan. Or at least did, until Sony ended up publishing Black Ops III in Japan on PS3 and PS4 (Microsoft did the same on Xbox in Japan). And whatever...

 
Ex-Microsoft CEO with the photo
Ex-Microsoft CEO with the

BALLMER!

Sure, Steve Ballmer stepped down as CEO of Microsoft two years ago (replaced by Satya Nadella), but that doesn't mean he's not still in our hearts. After leaving Microsoft, Ballmer bought the Los Angeles Clippers (not a bad thing anymore!) ...

 
How to...tame animals photo
How to...tame animals

When Far Cry Primal animal taming goes wrong, wrong, wrong

Looks like the egg cracking, chicken breast slapping How to Basic is taking some time to play Far Cry Primal (provided by Ubisoft, says the video description, though there's no indication that this is the same kind of "sponsored content" U...

 
Man at Arms Lol sword photo
Man at Arms Lol sword

Man at Arms forges Master Yi's sword from League of Legends

I only know the Man at Arms guys from their YouTube series where they forge dumb, impractical, and awesome weapons from different games and anime. So when I was visiting with the in-laws this weekend and a Man At Arms TV show came on after ...

 
Stupid sexy Ash fan art
I was writing a story about a weird Ketchum and, of course, the internet out-weirded it with ease. It was a well-meaning Google Image Search. Safe Search is even on, filtering explicit results. Just "ash ketchum." Not "ash ke...   read

Wonder Fest  photo
Wonder Fest

Ash Ketchum sure has, uh, let himself go?

I, for one, appreciate the Alvinization of Ash Ketchum and I like the and the Chipmunks turn towards live-action. I loved Ash Ketchum in An American Tail: Fievel Goes West. I see this Ash Ketchum every night before I fall asleep. This Ash ...

 
Jill-ception photo
Jill-ception

Turns out Resident Evil's Jill Valentine makes a good Jill Valentine

Actress Julia Voth's likeness was used for Jill Valentine's character model in the 2002 Resident Evil GameCube remake, so it makes a lot of sense that Voth would decide to do a Jill Valentine cosplay photo shoot (random disclosure: turns ou...

 
SFV rankings photo
SFV rankings

And the number one Street Fighter V tournament player in the world is...

Many of you thought I was joking when I suggested that rapper Lupe Fiasco was going to kick the ass of Daigo "The Beast" Umehara in Street Fighter V. But that's why I'm paid the big bucks while other hack ass pundits sit there and make pred...

 
Super Smash Jokes photo
Super Smash Jokes

If Firewatch's Henry joined the Smash Bros. roster

Hey, those meaty paws could do some serious damage. Maybe a Little Mac-style brawler (also not fleet of foot). Or, hey, just bring back the Ice Climbers move set but texture them like Yellowstone National Park. Anyways, I didn't know the P...

 
Twitter photo
Twitter

Feminist Frequency makes new Twitter Trust and Safety Council

I love Twitter. Love it. But the quasi-public nature of it means it's kinda of like plopping down at a crowded beach. You don't expect fellow beach goers to come up to you and interrupt conversations between you and your friends, or tell y...

 

Steven HansenFeatured blogger

Steven watches anime & sports, buys meat out of trucks, dates a Muppet, and is only good at cooking. He stands before you bereft of solace and well on the road to perdition. ('^ω^)

 

Reviews

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 

King's Quest: Once Upon a Climb"A tale of two princesses"

 

Stories: The Path of Destinies"Choose your own adventure/death"

 

Koi"Fish out of water"

 

Severed"Cut my life into pieces / Slash into me"

 

ZEN Pinball 2: Aliens vs. Pinball"Not the Alien's most terrifying incarnation"

 

Alienation"Welcome to Earth"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

ChrisHannard

Your weapon-fu is shockingly

 
SeymourDuncan17

Happy First of May! I did a thing about

 
Shinta

I hope you are all putting in ample time into Nioh before the demo expires on I expect you all to master stance changes and report back with your Class

 
Khalid Eternal Nigh

Doom 2016 datamine reveals a lot of stuff that makes me DLC, modtools public wont see, maybe some sort of sprinting system :/

 
Lex

Playing DoomRL again reminds me that the dev should continue to work on AliensRL and Derek should provide the tileset Yes Im an

 
Nekrosys

Id like to remind you all that we live in a world where Dr Nefarious rule 34 Truly, this is a just One that is great and One that Im proud to live

 
lokhe

Pyromancy + Bastard Sword? Yeah I can work with Neat

 
Luca Blight

After seeing Nathan D finding out things like I decided to keep an eye out and just out that Chairman Drek is a literal It took 14 years to realize Me is smart

 
ZombZ

Anyone interested in an PC Open Beta Key for Overwatch? First come first

 
Jed Whitaker

Ive been sick and trapped in How have you been lovely readers?

 
Deadgar64

Thinking about what to game to get to test-drive out the new graphics card when it suggestions?

 
StriderHoang

Space Patrol Luluco is a OVER JUSTICE! JUSTICE IS OVER! OVER JUDGEMENT GUN MORPHING! FIRE FROM FIRE!

 
Parismio

Ok yknow what screw Im saving anri!

 
Nekrosys

Going to be honest; after playing around a little more with Star Fox Zero, I actually find myself both adjusting to and liking the control The tutorial was kind of crap, but the game itself is nowhere near as bad as some of the reviews have

 
jak2364

Tfw Valve still gives you a refund even though you went over 2 hours played on a buggy piece of

 
WryGuy

That awkward, awkward moment when you realize you should not let your neighbor ever find out youre half

 
Ein on Shrooms

Why is resting bitch face such a turn on? (Plus so is Aubrey

 
OverlordZetta

Ive officially had enough internet for the

 
AvtrSpirit

Im And Im just really feeling the transformative powers of Sure, in real life Im not all But right now Im a super hot Ghost killing newbs in Heroes of the I rock!

 
Dreamweaver

I did it! I finally killed that bastard Pontiff in Dark Souls III! Admittedly it took me over two dozen tries, and I think I got extremely lucky near the end when he didnt attack me much, but I solod it at SL 41 with only +2 weapons, no shields! Yay! :D

 
OverlordZetta

Panty and Stocking aired in Six years I swear it doesnt feel like its been that Guys, I think I need to lie down for a Have some expletives while I contemplate my

 
Gamemaniac3434
 
hlarge4

Alienation is a fun time, yall

 
Parismio

Mmmm Yes! Quality

 
KingSigy

I forgot how fucking awesome DJ Hero I still cant quite 5 star all the songs on Expert in the first game, but I always preferred the

 
Gundy

I hate training new Not because I think its a pain, but because my job is 90% There is almost nothing to train the new guys in until they get the permissions to use the ordering

 
Torchman

Real talk Do want to write an Ask Me Anything blog, to help boredom during the Although I may ignore touchy LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE

 
Parismio

Fuck you Pontiff! Now for that other boss in the Hope I can stil

 
Samsneeze

Actual footage from Hoshido mere moments

 
DSBrad

Anyone still playing Guitar Hero Live out there? Is there anyway to get leaderboards to load Take a good 10-15 seconds on each song to see them for me on

 

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