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Offbeat

Dad Jokes photo
Dad Jokes

Solid dad joke


Stop grinning, dad
Dec 29
// Brett Makedonski
Everyone knows dads tell the best jokes. But, if you got this on Christmas, did you know that you're legally allowed to set fire to his favorite recliner? Rules are rules, pops. @DMZilla [Twitter]
Hey Ash photo
Hey Ash

Hey Ash Whatcha Playin' rings in the holidays


Boom boom boom, let me hear you say wayo
Dec 24
// Darren Nakamura
It's Christmas Eve, so we all have one thing on our minds: doin' it. Boinking. Bumping uglies. Taking an adult nap. The horizontal mambo. Intercourse, Pennsylvania. The Burches have you covered, casting their gaze on sex in games like Mass Effect. Of course, just like in games, you don't get to see the wenis in this video.
Spice Orange sonnet photo
Spice Orange sonnet

Ode to the Spice Orange GameCube controller


A color by any other name
Dec 24
// Darren Nakamura
The holidays are a magical time. Off work, spending time with family. Sometimes art happens. Sometimes an artist finds himself writing a traditional Shakespearean sonnet about the Spice Orange GameCube controller. Sometimes a bad video with a worse faux-thespian narration gets produced. This is one of those times. Mind the over-enunciated iambic pentameter.
Not my wife! photo
Not my wife!

Man sues Bethesda over Fallout 4 addiction


Cost him his job and wife
Dec 21
// Steven Hansen
Move over, Florida Man, we're getting intentional weirdos. According to the Russian-government-owned news publication RT, a Siberian man is suing Bethesda and its Russian localization crew over his addiction to Fallout 4, whi...
Super Nintendo Chalmers photo
Super Nintendo Chalmers

Super Nintendo Chalmers is the best thing I've seen all month


Better than Steamed Hams
Dec 21
// Chris Carter
Custom consoles are one of my favorite things in the gaming world, and this one is no exception. User rori3 shared his creation with an ominous post on reddit, noting that he had "Just finished [his] White Elephant Gift....
The Egg 2 photo
The Egg 2

The Egg gets hotly anticipated sequel starring Mel Gibson


Hooo-wa!
Dec 18
// Steven Hansen
Cool 3D Worlds' smash hit The Egg announced a follow up project earlier this week, The Egg 2. The great success of the original doesn't seem to have worried Cool 3D Worlds, which is going full bore into The Egg 2, ramping up production to include top flight Hollywood talent in the form of actor Mel Gibson, known for the films Braveheart and What Women Want.
Shkreli schadenfreude photo
Shkreli schadenfreude

League of Legends team chairman and general villain arrested on fraud


That guy who made medicine real pricey
Dec 17
// Steven Hansen
It would be difficult to have avoided the name (and mousy little face) Martin Shkreli if you've been online recently. Shkreli, a pharmaceutical executive, made headlines after raising the price of the life-saving drug Darapri...
Meet Evil Geniuses photo
Meet Evil Geniuses

Radio Shack lives, lets you fight Dota champions and win free gear


Evil Geniuses
Dec 16
// Steven Hansen
After reading both Jon Bois' excellent adioS: The end of RadioShack, through the eyes of a store manager and A eulogy for RadioShack, the panicked and half-dead retail empire, you'll forgive me for forgetting that Radio ...
Real life Destiny armor photo
Real life Destiny armor

Someone won a real life set of Destiny Titan armor


Time for some sexy roleplay
Dec 16
// Steven Hansen
Sony sponsored a contest for Destiny fans, recruiting prop shop AWE me (in this case, the Super Gamer Builds arm) to build a real-life set of Destiny armor for one fan. The winner chose the Titan armor and got a limited edit...
Gravity Rush: It's good photo
Gravity Rush: It's good

Wack ass America doesn't get dope Gravity Rush ads


PS4 remaster all out in Japan
Dec 11
// Steven Hansen
I've been consigned to horrible downtown all week doing my civic duty and boy are my arms tired. And while I love to pay $7 for a $3 sandwich and to walk a mile and to drop $4 a day on public transit, you know what I don't lo...
Shenmue 3 photo
Shenmue 3

Shenmue 3 makes surprise PlayStation Experience appearance


First gameplay??????????
Dec 05
// Steven Hansen
Photo and joke credit to the illustrious Dale North
Pantsless Pokemon photo
Pantsless Pokemon

Machoke and Machamp don't have pants on, actually


Nor lil dicks!
Dec 01
// Steven Hansen
I feel clowned upon. Damn near 20 years later and you want to tell me that Machoke and Machamp don't wear body-building speedos? That those perfectly placed black trunks are, according to Pokémon canon, just markings s...
New look Street Fighter photo
New look Street Fighter

Street Fighter movie in black and white: 'Turns out it's actually a masterpiece?'


Bringing out the artistry in goofy film
Dec 01
// Steven Hansen
This tweet by Glitch Ritual reliably turned up several times a day in my Twitter feed over the holiday weekend and so I must share it. It's a pretty simple trick with VLC player's settings (not a specifically made black and ...
Real Revolver Ocelot photo
Real Revolver Ocelot

You deserve to see Revolver Ocelot spinning his guns


A weapon to surpass Metal Gear...
Dec 01
// Steven Hansen
[Photo] Now that 2015 is officially over and there's definitely no more massive holidays to attend or anything like that everyone's going to start getting all retrospective and I'm going to kick it off by waxing nostalgic for...
GameBarcodes photo
GameBarcodes

GameBarcodes distill games down frame by frame


Journey's is the best
Nov 19
// Darren Nakamura
A couple weeks ago an imgur page was floating around the Internet showing various films with each frame reduced to its average color and represented as a single vertical line in what turn out to be often vibrant barcodes. Thi...
Watch this wild business photo
Watch this wild business

I watched a Korean musical about an MMO and so can you


Including: the devil, modern day rap
Nov 19
// Steven Hansen
As a prelude to the Blade & Soul World Championship, NC Soft put together a Blade & Soul musical. I suppose it wasn't technically about an MMO since it was the Blade & Soul story, but I'm really not sure about an...
Call of Jr. photo
Call of Jr.

Carl's Duty: eat an absurd burger and win a gross gun skin


You know, for the veterans
Nov 06
// Darren Nakamura
The United States of America, right? Where our burgers are big and our guns are bigger. And our heart failures are spectacular. Or something. Let's start over. Carl's Jr. (also known as Hardee's) is teaming up with Activision...
HAWP photo
HAWP

Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin' gets a lil weird this week...and a lil furry


Banjo-Kazooie
Nov 05
// Steven Hansen
Pretty fun new Hey Ash, Watcha Playin' this week with a Banjoe-Kazooie twist. And way more nudity and animalistic sexuality and bloody eggholes. Plus funny voices! I want a gritty, AAA release, like a Witcher 3 or whatever, ...
Undertale on TV photo
Undertale on TV

Undertale is too demonic and evil for the 700 Club


Sans has been giving people a bad time
Nov 03
// Ben Davis
[Header image by Nibroc-Rock.] Undertale, one of my favorite games released this year, made a very unlikely appearance recently on the 700 Club, a Christian television program hosted by Pat Robertson. The show received a ques...
Legend of Zelda wrist photo
Legend of Zelda wrist

You can play Super Mario 64 or Ocarina of Time on a watch


You shouldn't, but you could
Nov 02
// Steven Hansen
While on one hand I don't understand purchasing a smart watch or most "wearable" tech, on the other, I have to admit amusement at one of these devices -- an older model, to boot -- being capable of running N64 games. YouTube...
Hey Ash Whatcha Playin' photo
Hey Ash Whatcha Playin'

Happy Friday! Have a HAWP about Ecco the Dolphin


Also Godwin's Law
Oct 23
// Darren Nakamura
It's Friday afternoon, and you know what that means. Game news slows down. You're doing lots of sitting around idly, pretending to be busy, waiting to slip out of work and start up the weekend as soon as possible. Maybe you n...
Old men have bad opinions photo
Old men have bad opinions

George Lucas, writer of Star Wars Episodes 1-3, said video games can't have plot


'It's not going to be Shakespeare'
Oct 19
// Steven Hansen
The man whose just about only claim to fame is biting Akira Kurosawa films but making all the characters wear pajamas, and then doing three more really fucking awful versions of that, has some opinions about story-telling in ...
Arma developer tanks photo
Arma developer tanks

Arma, DayZ developer bought a tank


We Bought a Tank
Oct 16
// Steven Hansen
Arma and DayZ developer Bohemia Interactive has bought itself a a decommissioned T-72 main battle tank. While the developer is doing incredibly well with zombie survival game DayZ, it's mostly known for its hardcore war game...
Lara statue photo
Lara statue

Free life-sized Tomb Raider statue for your Lara Croft shrine


Go get it, for our honor!
Oct 16
// Steven Hansen
Who says Twitter is not good for anything? Apparently PCGamer-et al publisher Future US is moving office and giving away this gigantic Lara Croft (or Future's president is a very small man) to anyone who "re-tweets" the post....
Parasite or feature? photo
Parasite or feature?

Metal Gear Solid V infinity boobs: More proof women are hard to animate


Bug or parasite suit feature?
Oct 15
// Steven Hansen
Kojima dedicated a lot of resources to Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain's jiggly physics, probably because of how many cutscene shots linger on Quiet's rack. And while Kojima Productions has done better than "women are t...
Los Angeles tax Dodgers photo
Los Angeles tax Dodgers

Minecraft streamer buys $4.9 million mansion near Notch's


Hollywooooood...Hollywood swinging!
Oct 11
// Steven Hansen
It may pale in comparison to the $70 million mansion Notch outbid Jay-Z and Beyonce on (spending G's indeed), but YouTube video maker Jordan "CaptainSparklez" Maron just bought himself a $4.5 million house in the Hollywood Hi...
Phantom Pain spoilers? photo
Phantom Pain spoilers?

Metal Gear Solid V has a real bad bird problem


Fun with mods
Sep 29
// Steven Hansen
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain got a PC release. Thus, the above. Also that puppy D-Dog swap.
Tactical Nokia Action photo
Tactical Nokia Action

Snake? Snake! is Snake but with Metal Gear Snakes


Tactical Nokia Action
Sep 28
// Steven Hansen
Grab a friend (or brother!). Snake? Snake! is competitive Snake starring Solid and Liquid Snakes. The rules are slightly different from the cellphone game you remember. There is a taunt button. Matches last 30 seconds. You ca...
Graphic photo
Graphic

Metal Gear Solid V's Diamond Dog has realistic carnal needs


(National Geo)graphic warning
Sep 10
// Steven Hansen
I've been ignoring DD a bit in The Phantom Pain after I spent a few missions trying to figure Quiet out, and then ended up sticking with her to try and max out her social link. I do miss being able to pet pup on command. Then again, if this kind of ungodly behavior is what that wretched beast is going to get up to then I, as a family man, cannot abide.
The Phantom Pain photo
The Phantom Pain

Metal Gear Solid's '5 stages' of Fulton extraction


Getting flustered by a dialogue bark
Sep 07
// Steven Hansen
Have you Fulton'd a bear yet? I got jumped by one in an early mission. Those growls before the attack were pretty terrifying. I sprinted in circles on the horse trying to tranq the thing and when I finally put it to sleep, of...

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