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Joysticks

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Sega Dreamcast scheduled for American release in fall 1998


Apr 01
// Topher Cantler
You've been waiting anxiously to hear this news, and we here at Destructoid are proud to finally break it. Originally code-named Black Belt, the Sega Dreamcast will be the first 128-bit console to hit the market, and feat...

Learn the WarHawk before your time

Mar 22 // Niero Gonzalez
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Three grungy-looking snapshots of the upcoming WarHawk PS3 game surfaced today with complete EA-style arcade instructions on how to pilot both the air ship and the (seemingly underdeveloped and dare I say unwanted) ground co...

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God of War 3: PS3, 1080p and ... vibration?


Mar 13
// Niero Gonzalez
1UP's Matt Leone attended the God of War 2 Sony event, blogging some very curious words about the supposed future of GOW3 from the lips of director Cory Barlog. Captain obvious had previously informed us that the game wo...
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Gamedeals commissions giant NES pad


Mar 12
// Niero Gonzalez
How does modest independent Canadian game shop draw in passerbys and passing window-shopping spaceships orbiting the sun? With a godzilla-sized classic NES pad! Hardcore Nintendo fan Eyes5 became friends with the shop keepe...

Vickie Hogan is dead, not my Sixaxis

Feb 08 // Niero Gonzalez
The device, unlike slutty women with no morals, is extremely simple to handle and set up in your house. The shiny silver package comes with two 4 foot cables and the Dual Charge AC adapter, which is about the size of a typical power transformer. My first impression is that they went skimpy on the cables, but the point is to plug this thing wherever you need it so the cable length makes perfect sense. As you can see, there are two standard USB ports in the front at your disposal. Apparently I was so excited to open it that I didn't focus the camera shot, and now the box is all torn up like roast beef at the prom. I've been using it on and off for about a week and there's nothing bad I can say about it. It has a shiny durable plastic casing, the A/C plug tucks away neatly so that it's easy to slip into your laptop bag or back pocket, and it essentially acts a general use USB cord so you can charge a multitude of things with it. Cell phones, cameras, PS3 controllers, you name it.  My PC franken-rig uses an older ASUS dual SLI motherboards, so my USB situtation for all of my accessories is very octopus-like. Lately I've been leaving this on the opposite side of the living room near the sofa so I can leave my controllers charging when I'm done gaming for a few hours. Behold, this thing has the ability to perform an A/C bitch-slap: Nyko also makes a kick ass 9 foot mesh cable that we picked up, but I am way across the room from my big screen so that's not an option for me.  The most compelling reason to get one of these is that your PS3 has to be powered on, fans whirring, for the Sixaxis controller to charge. If your console is on standby, the USB ports aren't getting any power. This means that you're going to end up playing with a wired remote from time to time, or find yourself lusting after this.Behold, the most artistic photo of a controller charging ever!  That's all she does folks, move along, there's nothing else to see.  The charge time appears to be identical to charging it on the PS3.  This is probably because it's the exact same USB ISO and the 7 magical elves inside my PS3 cannot improve upon that. While certainly not an essential accessory, it's good at what it does. Especially I've you've become a wireless diva and really enjoy not having any cords in sight, you'll surely get some use of it. Like many of you who believe wire management is best handled by "stuffing that shit behind the crevice" you'll have one less thing to detangle. I spotted it for twenty bucks on Amazon and may increase your lazyness level by five points. Don't be dumb though: I overpaid for my component cable by ordering online and suffering infernal shipping, so try phoning retail first. Ten cents can save you five bucks.  
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Today Anna Nicole Smith collapsed in a casino just north of me, dying at the hump age of 39. Despite a long adult life she will only be remembered for having large breasts, leaving Texas, marrying a (very!) old man for his m...

Joysticks, the movie review

Feb 07 // Hamza CTZ Aziz
So, you think you can just sit there, knowing that Gamebox 1.0 is the worst video game movie ever? Surely, throughout all time, nothing worse has ever come, nor will ever cross your path. Street Fighter sucked, but it was an action pic. Uwe Boll's films, well, they'd be bad even if they weren't based on a game. Well, we've all been deceived about this "worst movie". It's been hiding in bargain cutout bins and preying on bad movies. Stealing their suck and making itself a worse film in the process. This movie is Joysticks. Set in the hedonistic world of the local neighborhood arcade in Southern California, this 1983 film is loosely inspired by Apocalypse Now, Coal Miner's Daughter, and Out of Africa. The film isn't so much on plot, it's really not much more than a loose collection of plots tied together by an arcade setting. The film stars Joe Don Baker, Lief Green, Jon Gries (Best known as Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite), and Scott McGinnis. There are other actors, but their contribution to the film is about as noteworthy as the gimmick they provide to a scene, as seen in the clip below.    The basic setup for the film is that Jefferson Bailey (S. McGinnis) is in charge of his Grandfather's video arcade while he's out of town (who knows why ...) Poor Jefferson has a past conflict with video games and doesn't play them anymore. Instead he uses his managerial powers to sleep with the many "attractive" young women that frequent the arcade. Joe Don Baker is cast as the villain who wants the arcade shut down. To the film's credit, they knew it was going to be a pretty crappy film. Within the first five minutes of the opening of the film, you've already seen two pairs of boobs, a nerd character with his pants missing, and you've met King Vidiot. King Vidiot (Jon Gries) is a young punk obsessed with arcade gaming. He is clearly ahead of his time, adopting a look similar to Marilyn Manson. He travels with a pack of female groupies who behave like robots, and lusts after poorly cross-dressed men. His two goals in life are to have his own personal arcade machine, and he'd like to have a sweet ride like the one seen below.  At this point, you'd question whether some of this review is a lie, and you'd be right to do so, but that's what the screengrabs and clips are for. There are boobs and video games here, folks.  JD Baker's character attempts repeatedly to have the local arcade shut down a number of times over the course of the film. With schemes including staged protests, stealing all the games from the arcade, and ultimately pitting King Vidiot against young Jefferson in a rousing match of Super Pac Man over control of the arcade. All of this is irrelevant, though. This film should be seen for the following reasons: Strip Video Gaming. The opening theme for the movie, "Totally Awesome Video Games" Exposed breasts in a video game arcade.  Spooning in front of a Pac Man machine. The gratuitous use of Pac Man as a scene wipe. A girl hiking up her nightie (and wearing Pac Man panties) asking Jefferson if he'd like to play a game. A sweaty precursor to WoW obsessed gamers named McDorfus. Eugene the nerd dressed in leather underpants and chains. A hot dog being molested in a girl's exposed cleavage. Joysticks is a film that makes The Wizard, Street Fighter: The Movie, and House of the Dead look like the Godfather Trilogy. I'd give it a grade, but doing so would ruin the whole concept of grading a movie. It's not very good at all, but the novelty of watching someone actively make a train wreck of a movie and have it be taken seriously is far more entertainment than the movie itself would be able to provide.[Thanks Husky Hog for the quick photoshops on the boobies] 
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It's officially movie month here at Destructoid folks. First, Robert had the full Dead or Alive movie for your viewing displeasure. Then I gave you the preview of Game Box 1.0. DMV gave us a little Weekend Reading about ...

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A retro skin for the classic Wii controller


Jan 22
// Niero Gonzalez
It almost looks good. Almost. The buttons in the middle seem to kind of float in the middle of limbo and disrupt the horizontal lines abruptly, but overall it does make the controller look a lot like the ones we threw and cra...
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The Texter reinvents typing on consoles


Jan 15
// Niero Gonzalez
It's a fact -- playing MMOs on a console often sucks for a variety of little annoying usability reasons. Among my top gripes is slow text input. The only real alternatives are using a daisy chain of USB cords to bring a P...
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CES 2007: Falcon 3D mouse: hands-on


Jan 15
// Niero Gonzalez
The 3d mouse that made waves and stole show awards away from the Wiimote and Sixaxis is finally coming to mass market.  The Novint Falcon 3D mouse is essentially a little robot with three arms that tracks your mouse move...
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AVN Adult Entertainment Expo 2007: Pictures with porn stars, part two


Jan 14
// Robert Summa
So yeah, here's more pictures from the Adult Entertainment Expo that I promised and you wanted. I'll be flowing these in throughout the day, so stock up on that lotion, boys, and for you curious ladies, charge the batteries.Continued - more galleries of the AVN Expo (part three)

Nyko: forget Sixaxis, buy Zero FTW

Jan 11 // Niero Gonzalez
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In addition to PS3 intercoolers, dongles, guitars, HDMI cables and other shiny accessories we also spent some time with Nyko's new Sixaxis alternative, the Zero series controller. The design is a near mirror image of their P...

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CES 2007: Three new ways to revive Sixaxis


Jan 10
// Niero Gonzalez
As you may already know, charging the Sixasis with the stock 4 foot USB bundled with the console is a joyless experience; a corner cut surely to keep the price down on the PS3. Players that want to charge more than one contr...
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One lucky Xbox 360 controller


Dec 26
// Niero Gonzalez
Alexandra loves Gears of War and looks damn good lovin' it. Sorry guys - unfortunately she's also already spoken for and her husband is strong enough to throw cars at people. Nevertheless, she was cool enough to flo...
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Wii FPS games cause motion sickness?


Dec 22
// Niero Gonzalez
It's ok. Don't feel like a big gamer wuss. There are others like you. Nobody's talking about it. It has to be said. Wii have a new problem, but it doesn't have a catchy name -- it's Wii First Person Shoote...
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Once you go black...


Dec 21
// Colette Bennett
...well, you know the rest. Mad gamer scientist Alcaron gives us an excellent step by step on how to create this cool little Xbox controller mod. Not only is it cool, but it's cheap -- only $5 to make! I love seeing mods ...

Nyko's Zero PS2 -- analyzed to the death

Dec 10 // Niero Gonzalez
I spent a lot of time with it so the review is rather lengthy and picture filled to help you make an informed purchase. Having discussed this pad for hours with some friends this week, it became apparent to me that all gamers are not looking for the same things in a joystick. I'll come back to that at the end, but first let's go over the total ownership experience:FROM ZERO TO GIDDY IN SIX SECONDSDevirginizing the Zero is a pleasant experience. The well designed glossy joystick package emerged from a little brown shipping box unharmed. It looks like a million bucks at a glance -- high quality photos, flip top preview pane, and a featureset in three languages on the back.  The weight is substantial; this is no plastic little toy. My creative director alter ego found it strange that they failed to put the product name in plain sight on the actual controller (it's written on the underbelly of the battery pack). Thus, guys not unfamiliar with the company will inevitably end up calling the device "The Nyko". That's a little free branding 101 there, let's keep going. The contents are also generous:The Zero controller (I received the white version)One long (thin) USB cableOne NiMH battery packA secondary battery cradle for normal AA batteriesThe receiver for the PS2 port (see below)An instruction sheet most of you will never read INSTALLATIONSimple stupid. The NiMH battery comes charged, so all I did was pop it in, dropped in my Nyko plug into the PS2, pressed the white button on the receiver (shown above), pressed the link button on my Zero, and the blinking light goes solid. I was up and running in less than 10 seconds. COMFORT This is one of the areas where the controller, frankly, stinks. My gut reaction when I picked it up wasn't positive because my fingers have been trained to grip a PS2 controller like I do the DualShock 2, so having the battery pack sit in the middle was a huge problem for me the first couple of days.After awhile you get used to where things are and slide your three lower fingers to the bottom a little more, making it more comfortable. It's an adjustment I have to make every time I pick up the controller; so even after a week I'm still not used to it. Generally speaking, I like third party controllers to respected established ergonomics so the change was not a welcome. I don't game on the 360 as much as I should, so it the learning curve may be less severe for some of you. 1. Button positionThe joystick is vastly superior to both the PS2 and Xbox 360 controller in some respects -- there's a metal and polymer (that means plastic for you dropouts) combination with slick looking 3 axis security screws on the faceplate. You could probably club someone to death with this thing and not get a scratch or stain on it -- much respect there.  My biggest gripe here is that everything is kinda squished together to resemble a 360 controller, so the buttons are all a little closer together. Compare the two controllers above -- you have concave smooth analog sticks, so they feel less precise since they're more likely to slip back into place under loose grip (where the PS2 ones are like rubber sandpaper). The 4 buttons are marginally closer together and the overall distance between the directional pad and the buttons are about a full inch closer, so your hands are closer together. This creates some finger clutter. I'm also not a fan of the circular directional pad at all. I like the soft squishy cross with the middle cut out and edges sanded down of the Dual Shock a lot more because it's less likely to crease your thumb after 6 hours of nonstop gaming. This makes the Nyko's analog sticks and directional pad inferior to the old PS2 controller, which is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of people.  On the flipside, my biggest gripe isn't the battery pack though -- it's the lower R2 and L2 buttons.  They have a cool looking shark-fin design that helps balance the controller when it's set down, but are both A) too far back on the joypad and B)  the tips of your middle fingers will ram up against the battery pack unless you arc them outwards.  This wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that the 4 circular buttons are much closer together than you would expect, so you need your thumb and palm grip to be tight on the lower right hand corner. In their defense, these are underused buttons in most games, but it nevertheless severely detracts from the entire experience. There's just significantly more room beneath the original PS2 controller beneath to rest your fingers. For exaple, let's reflect on an oldie but a goodie that also had a big block underneath. The N64 controller (pictured in blue above) addressed this problem by having a vertical bridge attachment and a much wider controller that would allow the hands to wrap around the corners.  In this case your fingers don't have much of an escape path. You have to train them to stay low and to the sides. Not all the buttons are bad -- the L1 and R1 buttons feel sturdy and are very ergonomic and large, and the middle buttons are stock squishy rubber, and the 4 right action buttons are made of very sturdy plastic.  They're almost glass like and felt a little stiff, but pardonable. Nothing looks out of place either, it all comes together well. If the controller was just a tad big wider I think the majority of these problems would be addressed. Either that or firing all of their small handed beta testers. I'm pushing 30 though -- young kids will not have a problem with the size. 2. Build Quality The pimp factor is strong here -- they are actually backlit! Don't worry about battery drainage, you can hold down the Link and Vib button and turn them off until you need them. The mode button also lights up in red and green and the batter indicator lights up when it's charging. Here's what they look like when you lock yourself in your bathroom with the lights off while singing Danger Zone: IN ACTION No complaints -- solid response times, never any fuss to get it detected or initialized. Once you get used to it and forget that you're not on your DualShock, it's just as reliable as the wired controller.  The 2.4GHz frequency didn't interfere with any of my mobile devices and I was able to sit in the next room and still control it; pushing the 30 foot promise to the limit. The battery has yet to die on me but I like the fact that I can pop the additional 2 AA battery pack if I must be wired or use it as a quasi-wired controller (charging with the USB cable) as I play without missing a beat.  You're never going to be without a controller for gametime with it, they more than covered that. The vibration is also solid and can be disabled to save battery life ... and prepare you for the disappointment of not having it on the PS3. Not that I'm bittter. What they didn't do, however, is address how we're supposed to keep it charged at all times. The controller will only charge when the PlayStation 2 is fully booted; blue light on. It's not like there's a cradle you can just rest it on and always have it ready to go. But!!!  This appears to be more of a Sony greenhouse issue because the PlayStation 2 will powersave/cockblock the USB ports when it's dormant. This is not the case if you have a Nintendo Wii, who runs up your electric bill while you sleep.  Just plug the USB into your Wii and it will charge even when it's sleeping, yellow light blinking.  You can also keep the USB cable at the PC and charge it there. If you already keep a mini USB male cable for your digital camera around, you can use the same one. Granted, these are all hacks. If you have neither a PC or Wii near your gaming rig, it sucks 2BU. THE FINAL VERDICTMen don't judge overpriced luxury cars and difficult, whiny, needy, but incredibly sexy women on a ten point system, so I'm not going to go there. If you're a Nextlusting futurist with an endless appetite for home theater bling, you won't regret buying two of these. You will impress people that come over and play your PS2 -- they're available in silver/black, jet black, and Apple white to match whatever your shi-shi HD decor may be.  I intially had some gripes about the price being $49.99, but then again it's all in there -- the metal face plate, good wireless, backlit buttons, double battery cradles with AA backup, long usb cable, and crazy red light base station. You can buy a joystick for $25 that's more comfortable directly from Sony with a wire, or get a cheaper third party one for a little less and feel the cheapness. In my case, I'm just happy to finally have something that will prevent girlfriend from "tripping over those damn cords". I'll get a lot of use out of this, but I'm not quite ready to throw out your DualShocks just yet. PS. I've loaded five ultra high res photos in the gallery:
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This week we received the new Zero Wireless Controller from Nyko, a futuristic industrial-styled controller for the now aging PlayStation 2. I'm always hesitant to review third-party controllers because they're usual...

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Nothing makes me happier than swag ... except when brown little packages of the non-poop variety show up at my doorstep for hardware review on Destructoid. This weekend we received one from RetroUSB which contained their new ...

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Wiimote joystick on Windows update!


Dec 03
// Niero Gonzalez
Update! Someone has responded to the Wiili order and created a demonstration video of just how useless and awkward the Wiimote is on Windows to a newb. With some practice I'm sure this can become the #1 way to surf for po...
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Advantage belt buckle repels women, scares geeks


Dec 01
// Niero Gonzalez
The design of the NES Advantage joystick, when rotated 90 degrees, vaguely resembles the anatomy of somebody who's light in the pants. It would behoove you to attempt to grind up on somebody at a club with this thing on, ...
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How not to destroy your home with your Wiimote


Nov 26
// Aaron Linde
C'mere, son. Set aside that remote and take a knee. You and me, we're gonna have us a little talk about common sense. That newfangled Nintendo system you've got there -- the Wii? Yeah, she's a real beaut. Sle...
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The biggest dork in Hyrule becomes you


Nov 22
// Niero Gonzalez
Look. Link can dress Santa's little helper, never get a haircut, go around in oversized booties, carry a bird-adorned sword and shield and still look gangsta. The rest of us? Tools. It's one thing to terrorize events ...
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Demystifying the Wii sensor bar


Nov 21
// Aaron Linde
This video details the workings of the Wii remote and sensor bar by demonstration, setting the record straight on exactly how Wii technology functions in plain English. The more people that watch this, the less likely we ar...
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Wiimote strikes again!


Nov 21
// Earnest Cavalli
CheapyD, my favorite video game-based Web site operator (Oh god, don't tell Niero! He'll beat me!), has yet another hilarious story about the Wiimote going on a rampage and smashing high-end electronics to bits.This t...
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Taito's Bullet Train game gets Wii controller


Nov 13
// Niero Gonzalez
All-are-bored!!! Could you imagine a more mundane game than driving a speeding train? Millions would disagree with me, as games of this nature are quite popular in Japan. We saw a few of these eastern mass transit simulators ...
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Dtoid PSA: How to prevent Wiimote stress


Nov 13
// Niero Gonzalez
As you may have seen, Nido and I spent a lot of time at the Miami Nintendo Wii event this weekend and Robert Summa also received his Wii last Friday (Don't miss his various videos from unpacking to gameplay ). Besides ha...
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China dissects the PS3 SIXAXIS controller


Oct 28
// Niero Gonzalez
Kotaku's weekend crew spotted a Playstation 3 SIXAXIS controller autopsy a Chinese gaming site, which candidly shows the motion sensing system slapped on top of the controller board and two cavernous grip areas where the ru...
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Abuelita can almost program the Wiimote


Oct 25
// Niero Gonzalez
I'll tell you two things about my grandmother. To be frank, she can't finish World 8-4. It's hard. Jumping over those tight-gapped lava pits requires youthful dexterity & anxiety. That said, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to t...
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PlayStation Eyetoy turns cute girl into mime


Sep 30
// Niero Gonzalez
The PlayStation 2 Eyetoy is infamous for its ability to bring the party games to the sofa, but, unfortunately, it does not ship with a bubbly gamer girl. Generous souls have caught footage of some in the wild and it is just...
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Surfin' the web on the Wiimote (Update 1)


Sep 30
// Niero Gonzalez
Update 1: (Now I can say it) Alas! The Wii vs. PS3 video browser was pulled from YouTube before all could enjoy it, but worry not. All of the Opera browser videos are hosted by Nintendo on Wii.com. The text on this site is ...
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More Wiimote steering madness


Sep 09
// Niero Gonzalez
As reported earlier, and you can see from my new diagram above, the wheel will still let you use the Wiimote's buttons with your thumbs, and my beer is also situated in the distance. But I'll have you know, I've been worki...

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