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#Also cocks

Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...

 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]

 
HAWP photo
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...

 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...

 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...

 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...

 
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Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...

 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
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While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 
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Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

 
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As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing featu...   read

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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...

 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...

 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...

 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...

 
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Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...

 
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Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...

 
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Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...

 
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A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...

 
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Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...

 
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Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...

 
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Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...

 
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From our community  

Handys X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ourselves for one...

 
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ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis

Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the most amazing men...

 
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The return of the F**khead: No More Heroes 2 ESRB listing

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the...

 

Jonathan HolmesFeatured blogger

"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1 "The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Ju...

 

Reviews

Battleborn"Ready to Die"

 

Pocket Card Jockey"Think of them as big greyhounds"

 

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End"Sic parvis magna"

 

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Ray Gigant"Challenge not included"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Gundy

First day of Floral I hate

 
FakePlasticTree

Yusukes really feeling it!

 
Isuma

Welp, thanks for nothing Atlus! Ill save my hype with the animation announcement and everything for when this game finally arrives in the Until then Im a prisoner of the

 
Sr Churros

Funny thing about my current Emerald run: for the first time Im not using the starter at I got Treeko because I dont really like any Gen 3 starter, but I got Shroomish and I like it Should have got other starter instead

 
DeadMoon

Did anyone else notice that Atlus, sneakily, really just announced that they were pushing the game back yet again?!? Of course, Persona 5 is going to be worth the wait, but

 
OverlordZetta

As someone with a lot of experience in the realm of Sentai, let me say that first impressions dont always hold, and those awful suits that look like they belong more in a bike race might look great in motion! Otherwise, theres always your imagination!

 
Samsneeze

Power Ranger suits for the movie look like discount Iron Man and somehow worse than what we had back in the 1995 And who thought it was a good idea to give them boob armor? What is wrong with people?

 
Torchman

They dont make em like they used to

 
Pixie The Fairy

All the cool and real power sides with Iron He has Spiderman, Black Panther, Vision and Stark owns his Cap doubles down on Also, where the hell is Fury during all Hes probably scheming to bring them all

 
AdmiralAckbong

If getting high and watching movies or playing videogames was a major, Id have graduated with a Masters degree by Fuck this semester

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

Is it weird that CJs review is the first time Ive seen the US price for Pocket Card Jockey listed anywhere? They were pretty mum on it until now (maybe because its cheaper in way, its totally worth Addiction City, here I come!

 
EtosiGiR

Just curious what the split looks like here on the ol Personally Im team Captain (Even though Panther is my favorite and hes starting out on the wrong Dafuh Marvel? Dafuh?

 
ikiryou

This is what sex looks like & it now costs 13800

 
Sarah Jane Farron

Got a proper game of TF2 played today that lasted over an Still good at it! Completely different kinds of games and both are fun but this has me wanting Overwatch less because Ill probably still play it :p Guess I feel a bit more in

 
Nathan D

Persona 5 on September 15?! Right around my birthday! I know what Im get-wait what? In JAPAN?! You smug son of a

 
whatsacow

9 hours of Overwatch just happened and I didnt realise I guess productivity can wait until

 
Sir Shenanigans

Its funny in Overwatch because Lucio is the name of the large Italian man who owns the pizzeria right by my Lucio on skates is a very funny thing for me to think/hear/dream

 
AvtrSpirit

We HAVE to have Destructoid OverWatch for FNF HAVE to! I can host on PC, but I think well pull more of a crowd if a more prominent member of the community posts about Please! :D

 
ikiryou

The ultimate solution to your backlog woes

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

Whats all this Im hearing about a Hacker-chan? Im sure she doesnt look all that

 
Dreggsao

Good thing I know to get the Forza 6 f2p whatever beta in the windows People not knowing this wouldnt find out even on the official Microsoft and PC games is always

 
Perro

Im new to eBay and did my first snipe and won on a Feel bad for the guy who probably looked at the 30 seconds left on the item thinking he would win but also so satisfying to metaphorically take candy from that baby

 
KingSigy

OH MY GOD! I CANT BELIEVE UNCHARTED 4 HAS AN ENDING! Oh, whoops,

 
Torchman

mmmmmmmmmmm that Persona 5 trailer is a fine way to wake Also could Torch have found P5 best girl? Perhaps, but only time will

 
Ckarasu

Everyone in the Discord channel that I mod are talking about Seems Hacker-chan is their

 
StriderHoang

Civil War tonight for me and missus CIVIL WAR! CIVIL WAR!

 
FakePlasticTree

Arrrrgh must have P5 Just shove it into my veiiins!

 
OverlordZetta

I warn anyone who sees this in the future that is anticipating Persona 5, todays footage will ruin you for To the game, anyway, but thats all that matters, right?

 
ObliqueZombie

15 DAYS BEFORE FINAL FANTASY 15?! Come ONNNNNNN

 
Robo Panda Z

I really want to try Overwatch, but with my connection, it wont be done downloading until the open beta is

 

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