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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince


Game with the Dtoid Community!
Apr 10
I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was a...
Mario Kart dicks

Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?


Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Jan 26
[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really...
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team


More like spornsporning an eSporn team
Dec 04
YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which s...
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox


Wetflicks
May 16
SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The servic...
Promoted cock blog

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks


A collection of the best and biggest cocks in the industry -- minus EA
Mar 18
[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have ...
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff


"Long and hard" indeed
Feb 27
Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard


INNUENDO
Jan 11
This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrailers]

Goodbye, Destructoid


<3
Nov 10
As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is...

The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno


Plus: Pac-Man locked in a dark room with nothing but pills and his personal demons
Oct 03
On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will b...

YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'


Porn site cheekily claims it's coming to Xbox Live
Oct 02
Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Interne...

Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!


Aug 10
Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show ...

Swordfight will get your joystick hard


Apr 29
I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered ...

Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad


Jan 09
[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts....

The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!


Dec 25
Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before a...

Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis


Oct 29
I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  The result glitch in my Kinect setup causes another limb to come to life. How's that for enhanced male performance?

When eroges get motion controls


Oct 05
According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché...

Skyrim demo sends woman into labor


Aug 06
[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned f...

Octocock


Apr 15
Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger


Apr 03
Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on...

Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!


Mar 29
Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for...

Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!


Jan 28
Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing...

Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee


Dec 20
I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combi...

Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!


Dec 09
Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming expe...

Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four


Mar 16
Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures)...

Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying


Feb 18
"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wear...

A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!


Feb 11
I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winn...

Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses


Feb 06
[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potential...

Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero


Jan 06
Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect n...

Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP


Jan 05
Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas...

Handy’s X-mas X-travaganza begins now!


Dec 24
[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ou...






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