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In January of 2011, Rockstar offered a proclamation with no room for alternate interpretations: "L.A. Noire is not a sandbox game." There it was, clear as day, telling us that this seemingly open world crime-solving...   read

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You've picked up a controller to play the latest game from your favorite development team. It's called Policemanofficer 2, and to the best of your knowledge, its similarities to Policemanofficer 1 are clear and expected. You'...   read

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[For this month's Musing, the topic got me thinking about the future as much as the year past. Want to write your own musing? Head over to the Cblogs and post your thoughts.] When you’re someone who writes about videoga...   read

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Review: NBA 2K11

Questions about which NBA game released in 2010 would come out on top ceased with Electronic Arts' announcement that the first installment in its new NBA Elite series would be delayed to 2011 due to concerns about its polish. Since NBA 2K...

 
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Keep your pants on while viewing these Cargasm screens

I still can't wrap my head around the name Cargasm. Is it an orgasm of cars? Are the cars enjoying orgasms? Are the drivers? Should players expect to experience a cargasm while playing? Because if so, I'd like to know what I'm getting mysel...

 
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No Heroes Allowed! coming to PSP, doesn't allow heroes

Remember back when the Badman series was called the Badman series? You know, back before the whole "This sounds too much like Batman so change it or we'll take all your money" thing happened. The series went strong with two games unde...

 
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Crackdown 2 DLC is broken, don't buy it

Ruffian Games has given players another reason not to play Crackdown 2 today, as its just-released DLC pack, the Toy Box add-on, seems to only take things away from the game. Namely, its ability to function. Ruffian has pointed to a po...

 
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Celebrate Thong Friday by watching this DeathSpank video

Thong Friday is now a thing. Take off whatever lesser underwear you're currently donning and squeeze into your sexiest neon-colored thong. Do not send us videos. Instead, watch this new story trailer for the upcoming DeathSpank: Thongs of ...

 
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Rocksteady has a complete build of Batman: Arkham City

The Batman is very pleased this day. His next adventure, Batman: Arkham City, is "complete," playable from start to finish and in need only of some tender polishing.  The information was discovered on a recent OPM podcast (#11 for thos...

 
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Red 5 announces FireFall for PC, lets you shoot bugs

Red 5 Studios announced today a new team-based shooter, FireFall, due to be released some time in 2011. And it has bugs. Nasty, disgusting bugs. I can only assume that they must all die. The game is being developed by a team made up of des...

 
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Action-RPG Bastion revealed for PC and consoles

I get more than a little giddy every time I see the words "new action-RPG," and the full reveal of Bastion from Supergiant Games is no different. Couple that with the promise of an unusually emotional experience and you just might hea...

 
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New screens, trailer capture essence of FEAR 3

  If you ask me, there just aren't enough games with scary-ass pregnant ladies. At least we have FEAR 3, which Warner Brothers and Day 1 Studios is showing off in this brand-new trailer.  While we may not see FEAR 3 until 2011 now...

 
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Videogames and the pursuit of harmless entertainment

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms rais...

 
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The rubbing of breasts on faces in Dragon Quest IX

The Dragon Quest saga began for me in earnest only with Dragon Quest VIII. I had played previous games in the series, but not in any capacity other than "OK let's do this oh WTF this is shit?" I never even got around to finishing DQVIII ...

 
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The restoration of faith in Dragon Quest IX, part two

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, o...

 
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The restoration of faith in Dragon Quest IX, part one

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or ...

 
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[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as...   read

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[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a...   read

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For years, we've heard the same tired proclamations about the limitations of storytelling in videogames. This argument stands apart from the talent involved in making games; it's not that the people making games are poor w...   read

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[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a w...   read

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[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a who...   read

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The world needs to stop revolving around protagonists

Videogames are intimately familiar with the concept of the hero; Games seem built for protagonists, with worlds pieced together and relationships formed to benefit the hero's journey. Yet a strange thing occurred to me recently: many of ...

 
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Love, loneliness, and companionship in our Fragile Dreams

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our ...

 
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It has been said so many times that it now borders upon a meaningless cliché, but the fact remains: a lot of games look the same. I'm not going to lament the propagation of brown color palettes, generic RPG characte...   read

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Something about sex: Videogame items that sound inadvertently sexual

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms ...

 
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The hidden truth behind game reviews

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our mom...

 
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You know what makes a lot of money? Music games. Even in 2009, a year in which music games saw a 46% drop in sales from 2008, DJ Hero became the highest-grossing new IP across all genres. It's a game that was being called a f...   read

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The multiplayer demo for DICE's upcoming war FPS, Battlefield: Bad Company 2, has been out for a while now, and as the release date approaches, people are eating up the one-map demo and finding themselves consumed despite the...   read

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Ever played a videogame with a female character? Chances are, then, that you've heard the voice of Jennifer Hale. Ophelia from Brutal Legend. Naomi from Metal Gear Solid. Jennifer Mui from Mercenaries. Bastila from Star Wars:...   read

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From our community  

The Future: Demanding more from the voices of videogames

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms raised us...

 

About Andrew Kauzone of us since 5:10 PM on 04.30.2009

In loving memory: PAX 2009 (thanks ZombiePlatypus! And WalkYourPath, of course)


I'm Kauza, which is pronounced like cause-uh. My real name's Andrew Kauz, if you'd rather go for that.

I like talking to Dtoid people, so please add me on your favorite social networking site:
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/kauza
Gchat: santakauz[at]gmail.com.

Basics: I'm 25, and I write things.

Eternal thanks go out to Y0j1mb0 for the amazing header image you see above. So, thanks, sir!

Look at some of the things I've written.

Things on the Front Page:

Mass Effect, Metal Gear, Moon Unit, and more: An interview with Jennifer Hale
The Future: Demanding more from the voices of videogames
Love/Hate: A plea to play as a female Shepard
A warning: Regrets from a former life and experiences yet unlived
Top ten games for people who hate Thanksgiving
The wrong thing: Being evil should be more like sex
Staying dry in a sea of spoilers is a matter of building a boat
Lessons on taking games just seriously enough
Come, take your pilgrimage to gaming's one true mecca
Here's to you, random-JRPG-dialogue-writer-man
The forgotten: Crushing disappointment at the hands of Crash 'n the Boys
The people who have the power to change the world
Improving game communities: Enough with the negativity
The draw of exploration: Antarctica to Oblivion, Shackleton to Shadow Complex
I suck at games: BlazBlue and a slapdash attempt at fisticuffs
I, the Author: My Everest
Untapped Potential: The Gamer's Education
Other Worlds than These: Our World, Only Different

A series sort of thing about status effects
Toxic Megacolon and other fresh status effects
Curse you, status effects, stop confusing my heart
Status effects are poisons that turn my silent heart to stone
Also check out the related forum thread.

The Fall of the Titans (wherein I talk about dead or dying gaming companies)

The fall of the titans part 3: What once was shall be again
The fall of the titans: Sega died so that we might dream of the future
The fall of the titans: Why do the giants of gaming die?

Stories from the Past (a series about my experiences playing certain games):

Stories from the Past: Tobal 2, Tomba! 2, and console double-vision
Stories from the Past: Diablo and the Dark Ride
Stories from the Past: What the f*ck, mom?
Stories from the Past: Xexyz and the battle aboard Turtlestar Lobsterica
Stories from the Past: The One-Balled Man-Bear
Stories from the Past: The Battle of Olympus
Stories from the Past: Suikoden 2

Storytelling (a series about, well, storytelling):

Storytelling: The Problem of Genres
Storytelling: Mass Effect, Vonnegut, and the Fourth Rule
Storytelling: Doing Nothing in "The Darkness"
Storytelling: The Power of a Single Line (Yeah, it was my first post.)

Other stuff that is good:

Lessons on taking games just seriously enough
A consuming power: The demon and the borderlands
Can games transcend good and evil?
Nothing is sacred: We won't let you go alone, but we have made a tragic decision
How Destructoid single-handedly changed my mothers opinion of gaming
Why Tecmo Super Bowl is the greatest sports game of all time
Seven reasons that I will end you in creative ways if you don't play Folklore
Mother Nature and the Impending Death of the Gaming Spirit
Times Games Forgot: The Dark Ages
The Sins and Successes of In-game Collectibles
The Lock is Broken
When Music Surpasses the Game
Truckasaurus Rex and the Humor of Games
I Want to Cry (storytelling related, but not part of the series)

I have others as well that you can check out on my blog. You'll enjoy them or your money back.

Since it seems like the cool thing to do, here a list of my favorite games that is coming straight out of my ass and onto your computer screen, and in no particular order.

Fallout 3
Uncharted 2
Suikoden 2
Mass Effect / ME2
Metal Gear Solid followed by any number you can think of
Tales of Somethingendinginia (OK, and the Abyss)
Crackdown
Battlefield: Bad Company
Flower
Xbox LIVE:kauza
PSN ID:santakauz
BattleNET:kauza
Mii code:kauza


 

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