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Game News Haikus

Game News Haikus: Bloodstained, Fallout 4, The Witcher 3, and more


Zen-distilled stories
May 18
To fans of weird deadpan comedy poetry: I'd like to extend my humblest apologies for the hiatus. I'd like to say I was celebrating the 10th episode by taking some time off, but the reality is that I have just been super busy... read
Crysis: Analogue Edition

Haha sure: Crysis board game on Kickstarter


Tactical battles and chest-high walls
May 14
Crysis Analogue Edition - The Board Game. Huh. Okay. I have been pleasantly surprised in the past with video game shooters turned into tactical board games, but I'm still a bit skeptical about this one. I mean, Crysis's bigg... read
Windward release

High seas loot RPG Windward is out today


ArrrrrrPG
May 12
I'm not sure why, but there was a deluge of games out today. The big story was obviously for the Witcher, which doesn't release for another week, but there was also Color Guardians, Lost Orbit, and Action Henk on the docket.... read
Color Guardians bossfight

Learn why the Color Guardians final boss is so poorly designed


Spoilers: it's everything
May 12
In my review earlier, I wrote a couple of paragraphs talking about how the final boss fight is so poorly designed that it brings the entire experience down. It feels like the developer didn't playtest the fight at all, becau... read
 
original

Review: Color Guardians

May 12 // Darren Nakamura
I put a lot of value in elegance. Solving a math problem in an unconventional way using two steps is inherently cooler than doing it in twenty steps. A single shot from a sniper rifle taking down a faraway target is more impr... read feature

Bloodstained funded

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night fully funded in less than four hours


$500,000 and counting
May 11
Full disclosure: I backed this at the $60 tier. I almost went for the $125 tier, but "No," I said to myself. "Let's be reasonable." The Kickstarter campaign for Koji Igarashi's Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night has only been ... read
 
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Review: Lost Orbit

May 11 // Darren Nakamura
Flying through space can be great with all of the right tools. Automated navigation systems and high-power lasers can get a vessel through an asteroid field with little incident. Flying solo with just a jetpack and human refl... read feature

#igavania

We might learn more about IGA's next project on Monday


Or he might just be effing with us
May 07
Since Tuesday, I have been watching SwordOrWhip.com, the teaser site for former Castlevania producer Koji Igarashi's next project. Given the hashtag #igavania, the reference to iconic weaponry, and his previous comments ... read
Rock Band 4 details

Rock Band 4 wants players to 'color outside the lines'


Improvisational vocals and more
May 05
IGN has the hot scoop on Rock Band 4 these days, having taken a trip to the Harmonix office to cover the upcoming music game. While it has exclusive gameplay footage going up later this week, the site posted some details yest... read
 
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Review: Pleasant Dreams

May 05 // Darren Nakamura
With tabletop games, simplicity can go a long way. Sure, there are behemoth games filled with figures, dice, worksheets, grids, and more, but one of the best recent trends in the analog space has been a focus on elegance. The... read feature

Portal Pinball

That Valve/Zen Studios collaboration is Portal Pinball


Now you're plinking with portals
May 05
The teaser is less than a week old, and now we have some more details on the collaboration between Zen Studios (best known for its pinball games) and Valve (best known for not developing Half-Life 3). It's not the excellent p... read
 
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Review: Cosmophony

May 05 // Darren Nakamura
I had been lulled into a false sense of security. I finished the tutorial and the first level of Cosmophony with a perfect rating in about 15 minutes. "Four more levels of this?" I thought. "Child's play." Cut to an hour and ... read feature

Yooka-Laylee Kickstarter

Yooka-Laylee hits all stretch goals in less than a day


Expect simultaneous release on all planned platforms
May 02
Developer Playtonic Games must be sitting pretty right about now. Two days ago, the 3D platformer Yooka-Laylee revealed its official name. Yesterday, it launched a Kickstarter campaign with a base funding goal of about $270,0... read
Yooka-Laylee Kickstarter

Banjo-Kazooie spiritual successor Yooka-Laylee now on Kickstarter


Hits funding goal in just 40 minutes
May 01
It has been a whirlwind these last couple days for Yooka-Laylee. We have known about "Project Ukulele" for a while, but just yesterday we learned its official title (with googly eyes in the logo and everything). Today, the t... read
Last of Us: Left Behind

The Last of Us: Left Behind will be available as a standalone on May 12


For a shorter, equally brutal experience
May 01
Left Behind was a great piece of story DLC for The Last of Us, filling in a portion of the main story that is glossed over and providing a clearer look at Ellie's origin. Any who want to try out the three-hour episode as a ta... read
The Weaponographist

In The Weaponographist, the hero is cursed with constantly breaking weapons


It's okay though, because he's an asshole
Apr 30
Doug McGrave is a hero, but only for the right price. I guess that actually makes him a mercenary. When he comes upon a town in need with little coin to offer, he scoffs and is off. Naturally, an old woman curses him, so tha... read
Elsinore Kickstarter

Elsinore takes Shakespeare's Hamlet through a time loop


Try not to end up face down in a lake
Apr 29
There is something about Hamlet that inspires creators to want to adventure through it. First there was Ryan North's chooseable-path adventure book To Be or Not To Be, now there is Elsinore. Maybe people want to change the o... read
We Are the Dwarves!

We Are the Dwarves! searches for stars in the depths of the earth


I don't think that's how astronomy works
Apr 28
I kept coming back to the We Are the Dwarves! email that was sent in to Destructoid a few days ago. On the one hand, it isn't especially clear what kind of game it is or how it plays. The Steam Greenlight page lists action, ... read
Newgrounds turns 20

Flash game portal Newgrounds turns 20 years old today


Now I feel old
Apr 25
These days, Tom Fulp is probably best known for his work with The Behemoth, behind games like Alien Hominid and Castle Crashers. Way back in the day, I knew him as the guy in charge of Newgrounds. I spent a ton of time (proba... read
Does Not Commute

Does Not Commute turns a Sunday drive into a traffic jam


You only have yourself to blame
Apr 23
Okay, this is neat. It's strange, because I sort of hated the levels in The Adventures of Shuggy where I had to play through, then rewind time and go through again without touching my past selves. Does Not Commute looks like... read
Laura Shigihara

Laura Shigihara does a song for Animal Crossing's cafe pigeon Brewster


No mention of pigeon milk in the song
Apr 23
I always love a good Laura Shigihara piano/vocal piece. Though she is probably best known for the iconic credits song from Plants vs. Zombies, these days when her name comes up I mostly think about To the Moon's haunting "Ev... read
Rainbow Six Siege trailer

Watch a Rainbow Six Siege trailer or read a recipe for slow-cooked chicken here


Or if you can multitask, do both
Apr 23
This chicken is suitable for Mexican-style dishes like enchiladas, chilaquiles, or quesadillas. 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts1 can chicken broth1 onion, quartered1 jar green sauce1 pound pepper jack cheese, shredded1 ... read
Total War: Warhammer

Sega officially announces Total War: Warhammer


Missed opportunity for an easy portmanteau
Apr 22
Sure, we might have unofficially known about its existence since January, but Sega still wants to wow people with the reveal trailer for Total War: Warhammer. Pretend to be surprised! It's got the Warhammer staples: humans, ... read
 
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Review: Infinity Runner

Apr 22 // Darren Nakamura
Infinite runners have their place in gaming. After Canabalt, a seemingly endless stream of 2D endless runners showed up for a piece of the action. After Temple Run, the same happened for behind-the-back 3D runners. Infinity R... read feature

Starbound update

New Starbound update adds pets and teleporters


And what else? I don't know; SLIME!
Apr 21
It seems like these are being pushed out more frequently now. The last stable update to Starbound came out about three months ago, but before that it had been nearly a year. That said, this update seems much less substantial ... read
Game News Haikus

Game News Haikus: Guitar Hero Live, Star Wars Battlefront, emotional reviews, and more


Zen distilled stories
Apr 21
The biggest story last week was Mortal Kombat X's handling of downloadable content. Warner Bros. should relinquish itself of its greed and earthly possessions. That is the first step on the path to Enlightenment. In this ser... read
Circa Infinity

I'm trying to wrap my head around Circa Infinity


With marginal success
Apr 21
At a base level, I think I understand what's going on in Circa Infinity. While on the outside of a circle, the player character needs to get to a wedge to move inside. While on the inside of a circle, the player character ne... read
Desktop Dungeons

Desktop Dungeons gets new free content, mobile versions incoming


New classes, new quests, and a daily challenge
Apr 20
Reminder that Desktop Dungeons exists is not what I needed right now. Last time I played I got really into it, to the point where I needed to quit cold turkey in order to enjoy other aspects of life, like eating solid food o... read
Battleground Z

Battleground Z could be a standalone beat-'em-up


Zombie beat-'em-up action
Apr 19
StreetPass is a strange obsession. Ever since the days of having only Puzzle Swap and Find Mii, I have been fascinated with the functionality. I carry my 3DS around with me everywhere, and when I pull it out of... read
Ultimate Angler

Ultimate Angler is the new relaxed StreetPass game


Mix bait like a master
Apr 19
StreetPass is a strange obsession. Ever since the days of having only Puzzle Swap and Find Mii, I have been fascinated with the functionality. I carry my 3DS around with me everywhere, and when I pull it out of my pocket at t... read
Ultimate Angler

New StreetPass game Ultimate Angler gets dark for a brief moment


Uhh... Can I just go fishing now?
Apr 17
The two new 3DS StreetPass games came out yesterday. I downloaded them last night but didn't get a chance to play either until this morning. Wanting to start out with the lighthearted fishing game Ultimate Angler before taki... read
Guitar Hero Live

Guitar Hero Live wants to give players stage fright


If you suck, don't go for the stage dive
Apr 17
Just a few days after the trailer reveal, this video showed up going further into what makes Guitar Hero Live new. It's a long one, so if you're not able to sit through 34 minutes of video, Destructoid has you covered. The p... read






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