Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Site Update photo
Site Update

Site maintenance notice: a new Destructoid is coming soon


Check out the beta
Feb 05
// Niero Desu
Just a quick note - we're launching a new version of our site soon, which you can preview at http://dev.destructoid.com. It still has a number of bugs to address before launch, but just wanted to give you an early head's...
Maintenance photo
Maintenance

Aaaand we're back


Server upgrade
Jan 09
// Niero Desu
[Update] Migration complete! Our web servers were physically moved to another location this weekend. I'm very sorry -- we were supposed to be back at 5am but THINGS. What did you do while we were offline?

Destructoid's award for Overall Best Game of 2015 goes to...

Dec 23 // Niero Desu
Speaking of cereal business: The accidental legacy of the cock-branded corn flakes goes back to the late 19th century, when a team of Seventh-day Adventists began to develop new food to adhere to the vegetarian diet recommended by the church. In 1894, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, the superintendent of The Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan and an Adventist, used these recipes as part of a strict vegetarian regimen for his patients, which also included no alcohol, tobacco, or caffeine. The diet he imposed consisted entirely of bland foods. A follower of Sylvester Graham, the inventor of graham crackers and graham bread, Kellogg believed that spicy or sweet foods would "increase passions." Pictured: Mergo's Wet Nurse This idea for corn flakes began by accident when Kellogg and his younger brother, Will Keith Kellogg, left some cooked wheat to sit while they attended to some pressing matters at the sanitarium. When they returned, they found that the wheat had gone stale, but being on a strict budget, they decided to continue to process it by forcing it through rollers, hoping to obtain long sheets of the dough. To their surprise, what they found instead were flakes, which they toasted and served to the insane, who loved it.  In 1906, Will Keith Kellogg, who served as the business manager of the sanitarium, decided to try to mass-market the new food. At his new company, Battle Creek Toasted Corn Flake Company, Will added sugar to the flakes to make them more palatable to a mass audience, but this caused a rift between his brother and him. John thought the sugary version of corn flakes would get people laid. Heaven forbid: sex leads to babies, who are born bloody and can go on to produce murderous vicars and martyrs at sixty frames a second. Gross. Photo Credit: Blame Canada In 1907, his same company ran an ad campaign which offered a free box of cereal to any woman who winked at her grocer. To increase sales, in 1909, he added a special offer, the Funny Jungleland Moving Pictures Booklet. You probably had no idea how much the church, insane people, and masturbation have affected what many of you put into your mouths every morning. Luckily, moving pictures have evolved since. Congratulations, Miss Colombia, you're our game of the year. No seriously, she won. Fuck it, I own Destructoid, the Niero does what he wants. Duuude, have you seen that T-Shirt that has the old American food pyramid, but instead it says "I do what I want"? That's hilarious. Also, congratulations to Bloodborne and everyone at Sony and From Software. Sick game. [GOTY artwork design by Raul Cordoba. Miss Colombia photo credit: El Heraldo Colombia] Also, a huge thanks to the game's lead programmer, Jun Ito, who rarely gets his name mentioned by the Western press. I don't know anything about this person or the countless others that also contributed, but Ito-san is surely like many of hard-working developers in the industry who sacrificed countless nights of restful sleep. Taihen arigatou gozaimashita.
GOTY 2015 photo
Jun Ito
The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kello...

BOT FRIDAY photo
BOT FRIDAY

Get Destructoid ad-free for just a buck


Support your favorite editors
Nov 27
// Niero Desu
Get an ad-free Carter, ad-free Holmes, ad-free Devore, ad-free ... well you get the idea. That's zero ads on the Destructoid home page and no ads inside the articles, which means your mobile Destructoid loads FAST! (Note: Dis...

 photo

We've got more Rainbow Six: Siege beta codes


We have more codes!
Sep 26
// Niero Desu
Last call! Another wave of beta testing is underway: We've been sent a cryptic grab bag of Rainbow Six: Siege Beta codes which you can redeem from the widget below (you may have to allow script tags, some browser extensions m...
Cosplay photo
Girls boys and beasts
There are so many good looking people at Tokyo Game Show that it's hard to focus on the more important six new seasonal varieties of Boss coffee that we haven't tried yet. Granted, these are professional cosplayers and booth ...

Adorably EroGigi photo
Adorably EroGigi

The best TGS swag I got was this creepy old man brochure (gallery)


Oyaji Girly aka Fatherly Girly Hunting
Sep 17
// Niero Desu
There's so much kawaii shit at TGS (and in Japan in general) that it sort of cancels itself out of the attention span. To reach the most jaded people you have to go further ... fatherly, even. To be honest, I have no idea wha...
Banana photo
Banana

Tokyo Game Show: Banana


Banana
Sep 17
// Niero Desu
This guy.  moar
TGS Gallery photo
Look at the people and stuff
Tokyo Game Show feels pretty good this year. Sure, it's a far cry from the extravagance of ten years ago and before, but it's not the all-mobile wasteland it was doomed to be according to some Internet dudebros. It feels heal...

New PS4 colors photo
New PS4 colors

Tokyo Game Show: New PlayStation 4 colors on display


Yum! PS4 is the new iMac
Sep 17
// Niero Desu
Here's a close-up look at the PlayStation 4 new faceplate colors (homie), shown alongside the four new Vita colors and Sony's Morpheus PlayStation VR wares. The faceplates are very nice-looking, with a build quality that...
We are here! photo
Ongoing coverage of J-games all weekend
Pale American guys blogging about Japanese video games is a thing that is happening!  It hasn't stopped raining in 24 hours, hence our sloppy Mary Poppins cosplay and moistness. If you've never trekked into Tokyo Game Sh...

Forums photo
Forums

What's up with the forums? A quick update


Feel free to post, it's back online
Aug 11
// Niero Desu
This was already posted in the forums, but if you didn't catch it just wanted to bump it to the home page: We've relaunched Outer Heaven this weekend.  It's our old forums software: founded in 2006, previously known as t...
Site Update photo
Site Update

Big site update! New blogging tools, new social stuff


Power to the people
Aug 10
// Niero Desu
I hate when Facebook moves stuff around. You get comfortable, you just want to go in and do your business, and stuff's not quite where it used to be. So, it's interesting to be on the opposite side of that where my so-called ...
Hits from the Xbong photo
Hits from the Xbong

OMG YOU GUYS look at this parents against pot website


Hits from the Xbong
Aug 02
// Niero Desu
Why is it that the people put in charge of teaching the chilluns all the beauty they possess inside end up marrying Bobby Brown, or making batshit crazy stuff like this website about dabbing? I laughed so hard that I haven't ...
SuperHot gameplay photo
SuperHot gameplay

SuperHot still looks super hot: new gameplay video


Time is on my side, yes it is
Aug 01
// Niero Desu
Pitch: Mirror's Edge and Max Payne had a baby who must shoot its way out of an Ikea.  Destructoid's been following SuperHot since it got funded in record time back in 2013. Yesterday, a new gameplay ...
Awkward photo
Awkward

What would you say if bae's mom gave you this blanket?


I'd probably wife her
Aug 01
// Niero Desu
After a hard day at the office all a gamer really wants to do is go home, kick off their shoes, and cuddle with evil reborn on console. Right? This redditor writes: "My girlfriend's mom doesn't know anything about gaming but ...
Lump.co photo
Lump.co

Introducing Lump.co, our new image search engine


Warning: NSFW links
Jul 27
// Niero Desu
If you go on Google and you search for titties, you're going to get titties. We haven't put a whole lot of NSFW filtering in yet, so please bear that in mind before you try Lump.co, a new image search engine by the same jerks...
 photo

Destructoid's Forum needs a new name, new identity, but still Dtoid


Like MTV2 but with people that watch it
Jul 21
// Niero Desu
Update: The forums will be relaunched as OuterHeavenForums.com using the more secured platform, but no additional changes will be made. The people like the forums as it is. If you're a long-time reader of Destructoid you know...
 photo

New Destructoid explained


Any questions?
Jul 06
// Niero Desu
Here's to new Destructoid - a looser, weirder, multi-headed video game club that never sleeps. Please congratulate Chris, Jordan, Kyle, and Laura on their new managing positions! I'll be in the back handling the poop and pushing us forward as publisher and technical support if you need me. P.S. for Public Relations: Your main contact continues to be Jordan, who is our E3 judge. 

And Destructoid's E3 Game of the Show is...

Jun 26 // Niero Desu
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Konami isn't shy with what it has in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. With most titles, publishers tend to sit you down and let you play through a well-crafted chunk of game -- maybe 15 minutes before shuffling you off the station. That's the common preview experience. Not this time. Instead, Konami plunked three of our editors -- Jordan, Steven, and Brett -- down in chairs and let them have at The Phantom Pain from the very beginning. Jordan and Brett got a solid two hours in; Steven wound up with a staggering 14 hours. If this is some sort of vertical slice trickery, it's the most elaborate in the history of video games. Much more likely is that we got to see the final product (or very close to it), and Kojima's going out with a bang. The Phantom Pain has an open world that somehow doesn't feel all that open. Just ahead at pretty much all times are guards who are dead set on shouting things at you, throwing bullets with their guns, and just generally blowing the cover off this whole stealth operative you fancy so much. But, it's plenty open world in the sense that nothing seems scripted. You're given the reins (to a horse and the game), and the plan-of-attack is entirely up to you. The encounters often sprawl and there are just so many ways of doing anything and everything. For that to be pulled off with any degree of competency takes some seriously skilled design. That's not to say that our efforts were always executed with a degree of competency. The Phantom Pain has a way about it where you just sense that nothing you did was quite good enough. Sure, it got the job done, but that's not how real Snake would've done it. Botch job and all, it still has a neat "totally meant to do that!" air about it. Man, that kid makes fucking up look cool. Wait. Now, go ahead and jettison a guard away with a weather balloon -- err, your Fulton. That guy works for you now. And that horse you're riding? He poops when you want him to. Big Boss, indeed. All that stuff is indicative of what will surely make The Phantom Pain a great video game. Not only is it incredibly polished and detail dense, but it also has enough silly stuff to remind you that you're playing a game. There's plenty of weirdness to be found, and Kojima's tightly tethered it to the title's core mechanics. As we finished our play sessions, it was tough for us to imagine a game that would be more deserving of Destructoid's Best of E3 award. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain just plays so damn wonderfully. In hindsight, Konami wasn't going out on a limb by letting us have at it at our own pace; it did exactly what any publisher would do if it had something this special on its hands.
E3 Game of the Show photo
So many good options
We've hemmed. We've hawed. Destructoid's editors and judges have kindly suggested, boldly voted, bickered, scolded, stabbed each other with rapiers, revenge-slept with each other's illegitimate cousins, and finally have come ...

Caption this photo
Caption this

And the Winner: Caption this Capcom moment


Or some cash if you're overseas
Jun 24
// Niero Desu
And our caption winner is "Mommmm!!!, you're embarrassing me in front of the Street Fighter girls" by Olly N. However, the community deemed that the best caption was "Gardevoir" who technically won by JawshButturBawls with th...
Porn server photo
Porn server

You drank our milkshake: Dtoid.com E3 stats


Our biggest month ever
Jun 23
// Niero Desu
Kinda looks like a shark, doesn't it? It's like the Hamza version of how the Andy Kaufman movie ends. We miss that guy and all the editors that came before this month, and now's a good a time to thank them for the legacy work...
Video photo
Video

Video: E3 in 36 seconds as an abusive family picnic


Pretty much sums it up
Jun 22
// Niero Desu
I need you darling Come on set the tone If you feel you're falling Won't you let me know Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh  [If you can't see the video try this: Yakisoba 8 Bits]  
Gallery Desu photo
Gallery Desu

Random E3 moments immortalized in a quick light suck


This is not a gallery
Jun 20
// Niero Desu
Who had the best E3 booth this year? From a media viewpoint, I'd say it had to be Nintendo. The open plan allowed the fans to channel their excitement in the middle instead of having to elbow through to enjoy the games. The p...

The hottest photos of the E3 show floor

Jun 17 // Niero Desu
Everybody was dancing to the fresh beats at the Sonic and Eggman Rap Experience. This must have taken like three whole hours at least! I bet (the artist) doesn't even know how Game of Thrones ended. That's called professionalism. Atari always goes all out at E3. Rattlecry puts you in command of giant baby snakes in an action-packed Battlefield mod set in 1492 Fallujah (spoiler alert) before Colombus arrives. I couldn't even pretend I wasn't looking at her tits during the whole presentation. Busted! Dicks everywhere. Everywhere. They even had the brand new Ford Forza right there!  Forza is slang for "Fisting" in German. Everybody took photos with Jonathan Holmes. He didn't even charge money to the big kids. No cutting in the Occulus dating demo! We all took turns kicking her until she got in line. What. Who? There he goes. Moving across the water. Turning my whole world around.
We eat here photo
Wish you were here
Electronic Entertainment Expo, commonly known as E3, is an annual trade fair for the video game industry, presented by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA). It is used by many video game publishers and accessory manuf...

 photo

E3: The Last Guardian booth tour


Found it
Jun 14
// Niero Desu
Welp.
E3 Hypetrain photo
E3 Hypetrain

Plants vs. Zombies fans: Get ready to soil your plants Monday


Says their marketing dudes on Twitter
Jun 06
// Niero Desu
Zombething weed-wackery this way cometh.  There's not a leaf of evidence on the PopCap site or official PvZ twitter account yet, but there appears to be some grassroots marketing afoot. Peep these not-so-subtle twee...
Site Update photo
Site Update

Sexy Perro: Is our site busted for you in any way?


We changed some stuff
Jun 01
// Niero Desu
It's been about a month since we switched to Bootstrap instead of a thousand nested HTML tables, and for the most part I think it's gone well *ducks tomatoes*. I know it has probably been frustrating as a reader to see the si...
Windows 10 leak photo
Windows 10 leak

Did NewEgg just leak Windows 10 pricing and release date?


Placeholder or probability
May 31
// Niero Desu
[Update: Microsoft has confirmed the downloadable version of Windows 10 will be released on July 29.] Why did Windows OEM prices quietly go up by $10? Because 7 8 9 herpa derp. Windows 10, the long-awaited update to make Wind...
Mad Max Parody photo
Mad Max Parody

Mad Max: Mario Kart Fury gets murderously Miyamoto


The mashup you've been waiting for
May 24
// Niero Desu
Get angry that you didn't think of it first. Uploaded two days ago, Kris Sundberg's mashup parody of Mario Kart and Mad Max: Fury Road has already racked up 1.4 million views and counting, possibly from all the repeat v...

Auto-loading more stories ... un momento, corazón ...