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Forums photo

What's up with the forums? A quick update

Feel free to post, it's back online
Aug 11
// Niero Desu
This was already posted in the forums, but if you didn't catch it just wanted to bump it to the home page: We've relaunched Outer Heaven this weekend.  It's our old forums software: founded in 2006, previously known as t...
Site Update photo
Site Update

Big site update! New blogging tools, new social stuff

Power to the people
Aug 10
// Niero Desu
I hate when Facebook moves stuff around. You get comfortable, you just want to go in and do your business, and stuff's not quite where it used to be. So, it's interesting to be on the opposite side of that where my so-called ...
Hits from the Xbong photo
Hits from the Xbong

OMG YOU GUYS look at this parents against pot website

Hits from the Xbong
Aug 02
// Niero Desu
Why is it that the people put in charge of teaching the chilluns all the beauty they possess inside end up marrying Bobby Brown, or making batshit crazy stuff like this website about dabbing? I laughed so hard that I haven't ...
SuperHot gameplay photo
SuperHot gameplay

SuperHot still looks super hot: new gameplay video

Time is on my side, yes it is
Aug 01
// Niero Desu
Pitch: Mirror's Edge and Max Payne had a baby who must shoot its way out of an Ikea.  Destructoid's been following SuperHot since it got funded in record time back in 2013. Yesterday, a new gameplay ...
Awkward photo

What would you say if bae's mom gave you this blanket?

I'd probably wife her
Aug 01
// Niero Desu
After a hard day at the office all a gamer really wants to do is go home, kick off their shoes, and cuddle with evil reborn on console. Right? This redditor writes: "My girlfriend's mom doesn't know anything about gaming but ... photo

Introducing, our new image search engine

Warning: NSFW links
Jul 27
// Niero Desu
If you go on Google and you search for titties, you're going to get titties. We haven't put a whole lot of NSFW filtering in yet, so please bear that in mind before you try, a new image search engine by the same jerks...

Destructoid's Forum needs a new name, new identity, but still Dtoid

Like MTV2 but with people that watch it
Jul 21
// Niero Desu
Update: The forums will be relaunched as using the more secured platform, but no additional changes will be made. The people like the forums as it is. If you're a long-time reader of Destructoid you know...

New Destructoid explained

Any questions?
Jul 06
// Niero Desu
Here's to new Destructoid - a looser, weirder, multi-headed video game club that never sleeps. Please congratulate Chris, Jordan, Kyle, and Laura on their new managing positions! I'll be in the back handling the poop and pushing us forward as publisher and technical support if you need me. P.S. for Public Relations: Your main contact continues to be Jordan, who is our E3 judge. 

And Destructoid's E3 Game of the Show is...

Jun 26 // Niero Desu
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Konami isn't shy with what it has in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. With most titles, publishers tend to sit you down and let you play through a well-crafted chunk of game -- maybe 15 minutes before shuffling you off the station. That's the common preview experience. Not this time. Instead, Konami plunked three of our editors -- Jordan, Steven, and Brett -- down in chairs and let them have at The Phantom Pain from the very beginning. Jordan and Brett got a solid two hours in; Steven wound up with a staggering 14 hours. If this is some sort of vertical slice trickery, it's the most elaborate in the history of video games. Much more likely is that we got to see the final product (or very close to it), and Kojima's going out with a bang. The Phantom Pain has an open world that somehow doesn't feel all that open. Just ahead at pretty much all times are guards who are dead set on shouting things at you, throwing bullets with their guns, and just generally blowing the cover off this whole stealth operative you fancy so much. But, it's plenty open world in the sense that nothing seems scripted. You're given the reins (to a horse and the game), and the plan-of-attack is entirely up to you. The encounters often sprawl and there are just so many ways of doing anything and everything. For that to be pulled off with any degree of competency takes some seriously skilled design. That's not to say that our efforts were always executed with a degree of competency. The Phantom Pain has a way about it where you just sense that nothing you did was quite good enough. Sure, it got the job done, but that's not how real Snake would've done it. Botch job and all, it still has a neat "totally meant to do that!" air about it. Man, that kid makes fucking up look cool. Wait. Now, go ahead and jettison a guard away with a weather balloon -- err, your Fulton. That guy works for you now. And that horse you're riding? He poops when you want him to. Big Boss, indeed. All that stuff is indicative of what will surely make The Phantom Pain a great video game. Not only is it incredibly polished and detail dense, but it also has enough silly stuff to remind you that you're playing a game. There's plenty of weirdness to be found, and Kojima's tightly tethered it to the title's core mechanics. As we finished our play sessions, it was tough for us to imagine a game that would be more deserving of Destructoid's Best of E3 award. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain just plays so damn wonderfully. In hindsight, Konami wasn't going out on a limb by letting us have at it at our own pace; it did exactly what any publisher would do if it had something this special on its hands.
E3 Game of the Show photo
So many good options
We've hemmed. We've hawed. Destructoid's editors and judges have kindly suggested, boldly voted, bickered, scolded, stabbed each other with rapiers, revenge-slept with each other's illegitimate cousins, and finally have come ...

Caption this photo
Caption this

And the Winner: Caption this Capcom moment

Or some cash if you're overseas
Jun 24
// Niero Desu
And our caption winner is "Mommmm!!!, you're embarrassing me in front of the Street Fighter girls" by Olly N. However, the community deemed that the best caption was "Gardevoir" who technically won by JawshButturBawls with th...
Porn server photo
Porn server

You drank our milkshake: E3 stats

Our biggest month ever
Jun 23
// Niero Desu
Kinda looks like a shark, doesn't it? It's like the Hamza version of how the Andy Kaufman movie ends. We miss that guy and all the editors that came before this month, and now's a good a time to thank them for the legacy work...
Video photo

Video: E3 in 36 seconds as an abusive family picnic

Pretty much sums it up
Jun 22
// Niero Desu
I need you darling Come on set the tone If you feel you're falling Won't you let me know Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh  [If you can't see the video try this: Yakisoba 8 Bits]  
Gallery Desu photo
Gallery Desu

Random E3 moments immortalized in a quick light suck

This is not a gallery
Jun 20
// Niero Desu
Who had the best E3 booth this year? From a media viewpoint, I'd say it had to be Nintendo. The open plan allowed the fans to channel their excitement in the middle instead of having to elbow through to enjoy the games. The p...

The hottest photos of the E3 show floor

Jun 17 // Niero Desu
Everybody was dancing to the fresh beats at the Sonic and Eggman Rap Experience. This must have taken like three whole hours at least! I bet (the artist) doesn't even know how Game of Thrones ended. That's called professionalism. Atari always goes all out at E3. Rattlecry puts you in command of giant baby snakes in an action-packed Battlefield mod set in 1492 Fallujah (spoiler alert) before Colombus arrives. I couldn't even pretend I wasn't looking at her tits during the whole presentation. Busted! Dicks everywhere. Everywhere. They even had the brand new Ford Forza right there!  Forza is slang for "Fisting" in German. Everybody took photos with Jonathan Holmes. He didn't even charge money to the big kids. No cutting in the Occulus dating demo! We all took turns kicking her until she got in line. What. Who? There he goes. Moving across the water. Turning my whole world around.
We eat here photo
Wish you were here
Electronic Entertainment Expo, commonly known as E3, is an annual trade fair for the video game industry, presented by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA). It is used by many video game publishers and accessory manuf...


E3: The Last Guardian booth tour

Found it
Jun 14
// Niero Desu
E3 Hypetrain photo
E3 Hypetrain

Plants vs. Zombies fans: Get ready to soil your plants Monday

Says their marketing dudes on Twitter
Jun 06
// Niero Desu
Zombething weed-wackery this way cometh.  There's not a leaf of evidence on the PopCap site or official PvZ twitter account yet, but there appears to be some grassroots marketing afoot. Peep these not-so-subtle twee...
Site Update photo
Site Update

Sexy Perro: Is our site busted for you in any way?

We changed some stuff
Jun 01
// Niero Desu
It's been about a month since we switched to Bootstrap instead of a thousand nested HTML tables, and for the most part I think it's gone well *ducks tomatoes*. I know it has probably been frustrating as a reader to see the si...
Windows 10 leak photo
Windows 10 leak

Did NewEgg just leak Windows 10 pricing and release date?

Placeholder or probability
May 31
// Niero Desu
[Update: Microsoft has confirmed the downloadable version of Windows 10 will be released on July 29.] Why did Windows OEM prices quietly go up by $10? Because 7 8 9 herpa derp. Windows 10, the long-awaited update to make Wind...
Mad Max Parody photo
Mad Max Parody

Mad Max: Mario Kart Fury gets murderously Miyamoto

The mashup you've been waiting for
May 24
// Niero Desu
Get angry that you didn't think of it first. Uploaded two days ago, Kris Sundberg's mashup parody of Mario Kart and Mad Max: Fury Road has already racked up 1.4 million views and counting, possibly from all the repeat v...

Your future gaming TV might be a wallpaper magnet

May 24 // Niero Desu
We've been reading about paper-like televisions for years, and it seems like they're finally going to be commercially available. This prototype was unveiled last Tuesday, and looks similar to convex OLED panels shown by Panasonic a year ago aimed towards commercial display applications. Mashable and Yonhap are reporting that this new line of OLEDs may be see production from 55 to 99 inches this year, though no price or date have been set though LG hopes to ship as many as 1.5 million OLED sets by 2016. It's unlikely that this is the model you'll be taking home this year. I meant the television. The company was not quick to talk up the quality of such displays, so we can assume that they're similar to the 1,200x810 flexible OLED panels can be rolled up to a radius of 3 centimeters from CES 2014. The cool factor is indisputable, though. [embed]292686:58648:0[/embed] Sony can enjoy the title of thinnest 4K TV for the summer Earlier this year, Sony announced "the world's thinnest TV" which is a cow in comparison. Their 4.9mm 4K television at it's thinnest point out-slims the Experia Z3, their other cutting edge waterproof phone whose marketing department forgot isn't actually waterproof. At least their other guys got publishing Bloodborne accidentally right. Between this, the disputed islands, and Yoshinoya gouging their beef bowls it's been a shitty year for the Japanese, but LG's wallpaper TV not a high end 4K TV. How long until Sony announces expensive magnets? Anyway, how about those $300 42 inch TV's at Walmart, eh? I was going to make a joke about Vizio (because we own one) but the famous budget TV maker looks like they're close to making the best TV ever: the same Dolby Vision technology that's making people almost jizz over George Clooney is making its way to the home theater with their yet-to-be-priced reference series. We saw this set during CES this year, which promised a 120 Hz low-latency refresh rate for gaming (which they call 240 Hz Effective, but don't believe the BS). Like Sony and high-end Sharp TV's, you'll see a $2k extra dollars added to the price tag when they say stuff like "local dimming array", which is a second grid of sensors to help boost contrast, but will always have love handles because unlike OLED units it requires some form of back-lighting hardware. There's no real standard for this, so companies can put anywhere from 30 to 384 sensors and still call it the same thing. Its unclear if you can tell any of these televisions apart when you're not running around looking at all of them in a show room. It might be fun to kidnap the most serious television editors, cover all UHD televisions in duct tape, and have them tell us which ones are closest to Rec 2020, the holy grail that Vizio hinted at delivering but fell short. If you're keeping track of buzzwords this is similar to Sony's "X-Tended" technology in their higher end Bravia line, which by the way isn't compatible with HDR. It's all shit, send it back, start over. X-cept that we're halfway towards some serious pretty.  Chauncey spends his evenings in silence hoping that GTA 5 will someday play like this one frame 4K wallpaper There's not much new tech to talk about over at Samsung. The're busy making high-quality TVs tainted by Orwellian privacy concerns and pop-up ads in smart televisions. I do have one gripe, in that the company insists that their high-end TV line should be curved. This seems like the dumbest trend in TVs possible. On one hand, you have PR reps hamsplaining that OLED makes non-OLED TVs look washed out if you look at them at an angle, but what good is that when the television is then angling away from you? What if I want to watch all the amazing available 4K content in 3D at the furthest possible corner of my house? Lastly then there's Toshiba, who made a mirror. Sharp lost 1.6 billion dollars somehow. Apple was praised for ditching its 4K TV plans, as it makes more sense to market its "retina" displays, which your mom thinks means UHD but instead refers to ultra-dense pixel density.  After researching a dozen of these future television articles you might lose your mind in trying to determine what television has the best darkness contrast, in the same way you'll lose your mind actually trying to get a 4K stream that isn't about nature or more Korean women. But back to the girl. Just look at her. She's like, "Why am I wasting away my late 50's modeling? I could be installing LG TV's all day." You'll probably want to start stapling metal sheets around your toilet or moving into shipping container, because it's just as economic as it sounds. Upsampling shows, I've upsampled a few It seems there's a ton of 4K content until you actually buy a 4K TV. Enjoying 4K is mostly the art of upsampling non 4K content, unless you (1) bought an expensive computer or (2) are convincing yourself that 4K 30 Hz on your mid range equipment is the future. Chotto... I truly want 4K to happen in a bigger way already, but delivering that content over Blu-Ray or typical internet it is super inconvenient. You can't even use a GO PRO 4K with most 4K TVs. CNET says they can't tell the difference between House of Cards in 4k or 1080p with a $4K 4K Samsung. So brace yourselves for another year filled with hints of 5K, as all of the above are in an arms race to convince you that your most excellent 1080p television is garbage because you're sitting too far from it. Then there's 8k or Super-High Vision, which is different from what you did in college. We'll likely see more of this during the next Olympics. Your children and cool uncle that works for the CIA will enjoy 8k at home. For the rest of us we'll likely have to wait a decade. Let's not forget Ultrasonic TVs [embed]292686:58647:0[/embed] Did you ever have one of these when you were a kid, or recently as a hipster? Our Zenith held up for ten years before it hissed, turned pink on the edges where the giant magnet held the remote, and sometimes you could hear trapped fried moths dying a slow death from boldly going into it's dark forbidden crack. One clever colony of termites focused their efforts on its rotating base, a 20-pound slab of wood that was supplied ideal damp conditions by a mother's well intentioned mopping. Prior to that, I thought it was pretty keen and daydreamed I could stack all my gaming consoles or just come home after a hard day and plank on it.  Dtoiders, what TV do you game on? Any plans on picking up a new TV soon?
The future is anemic photo
What TV do you game on?
Doesn't it look like she's just putting up a glossy poster? They're calling them wallpaper TVs.  That's an OLED flexible TV being affixed to magnetic sticker. Put up a sticker, install a TV. The unit is light enough to b...

GameFan and Destructoid will crush Cat Fancy Magazine

May 04 // Niero Desu
GameFan Magazine & Destructoid Join Forces for Content & Strategic Partnership Two of the video game world's leading indie publications team up  for editorial projects & more. SCOTTSDALE, Ariz., May 4, 2015 - GameFan magazine today announced an extensive content and strategic partnership with leading video game site Destructoid (   It is a move that focuses on growing and delivering more digital and print editorial to both publications' reader-communities, co-promotion activities, reader/subscriber benefits, and more.   Initial plans include the addition of Destructoid-produced content into future digital and print issues of GameFan. The new dual-cover, flip-formatted piece will essentially contain two magazines in one. In addition to GameFan's distinctive visual and editorial mix, readers will receive 30 pages of original Destructoid content, created exclusively for the print and digital magazine format.   Free digital subscriptions for the new publication will be available via prominent placement on theDestructoid website. GameFan subscribers will also receive it as part of their subscriptions.   Niero Gonzalez, the CEO and co-founder of Destructoid, said, "I grew up reading GameFan, dreaming that one day I'd work in the video game business. This is a surreal personal victory for me, an incredible milestone for Destructoid, and a Voltron moment for lovers of the video gamepress."   GameFan Publisher and Editor Dave Halverson added, "This is a partnership born of a mutual love for video games, video game culture, and a deep respect for our readers and fans. What GameFan is to print, Destructoid is to the web. It's a perfect match." About PaperPlanet & GameFan PaperPlanet is the independently owned and operated publisher of GameFan magazine, as well as related print and digital projects. Led by Dave Halverson (founding editor, original GameFan andPlay), the PaperPlanet team has more than 23 years of experience in the video game and electronic entertainment industry. They are dedicated to helping both veteran gamers and new fans discover the best the gaming world has to offer. For more information about GameFan, to subscribe, or to order print issues, visit  About Destructoid Founded in 2006, Destructoid has quickly risen to the top as one of the world's premiere videogame blogs. 100 percent independent, the San Francisco, Calif. based website reaches over 3 million unique visitors every month and is the cornerstone of the Modern Method network, which consists of the anime-orientated Japanator, toy-centric Tomopop, and film-focused Flixist. For more information, visit   ### CONTACT: Marketing:Julie Halverson, Director of Marketingp: 480-678-5270 | e: [email protected]: Dave Halverson, Publishere: [email protected]  
Destructoid Magazine photo
Indie superpowers combine
Huge news today! Starting this summer Destructoid will be publishing a digital magazine with GameFan. It's a 60-page whopper that's half Destructoid on one side, half GameFan on the other but all indie, all enthusiast, all pa...

Site Maintenance: Lisa Gerrard can blog soon

Apr 21 // Niero Desu
Yesterday's announcement: Welcome to the Internet after mobilegeddon! Today all web publishers are forced to make all of their pages mobile-friendly by default or Google (who warned sites of this day for years, in all fairness) will put us into a crusty shoebox in its basement. For a while now Brett Zeidler and I have been working on a site redesign that probably wasn't going to be completed until this summer, but since this is happening, I'm forced to release what we have so far a bit prematurely. On the bright side, the site should load much faster and work on more of your mobile devices. Thanks to everyone who has submitted to our feedback forum and for your continued patience.    
Site Update photo
More features and speed on all devices
[ Update 1: Comment tracking is back.  Top right corner, pulldown thingy. ]  [ Update 2: Private messages and the cblog editor are being restored now. This week we're working on making the site run smoothly on ...


To all the ladies in the place with style and grace

Google hates us
Apr 19
// Niero Desu
A big change is coming!
Dem Graphics photo
Dem Graphics

Not pictured: Videogames

Games blogging after YouTube and iPhones
Feb 20
// Niero Desu
In the golden days of videogames blogging, when there was no juicy AAA videogame news a publisher in my shoes would have an arsenal of timeless features to forage the drought. With mobile game sales crushing console sales and...
That site photo
That site

Letters to the editor: Why should I keep reading Destructoid?

We're that site
Feb 17
// Niero Desu
[This just came to our support email line. I thought I'd share, just in case anyone else feels this way.] @Support: "Been browsing Dtoid for years but these ads, man. They're out of control. At the top, the bottom, the ...
Jim Sterling Patreon photo
Jim Sterling Patreon

Remember Jim Sterling? Of course you do. Go support his new site

Thank God for him
Nov 16
// Niero Desu
Former Destructoid reviews editor Jim Sterling has gone indie, and he needs your help. The dude has worked for over 8 years doing video games reviews here and on sites like Escapist, and now he's trying to build his own site...

Code Giveaway: Grab an energy boost in Terra Battle

Live a little (longer)
Nov 14
// Niero Desu
Here's a quick word from our sponsor, Terra Battle, a free-to-play role playing game designed by Final Fantasy's creator, now available on your Android and iOS devices.  The game is on its way to 1.2 million do...
Why Penis Why photo
Why Penis Why

Save Ryu from looking generic in Street Fighter IV: A fanboy's top 10 wishes

Why Penis Why
Nov 05
// Niero Desu
Editor's note: In an internal staff email us old-timers were just laughing about the absurdity of this super fanboy article I wrote back in 2007 voicing my disgust with the redesigned Street Fighter. I've since grown accustom...

That only works in Metal Gear, dude

Oct 24
// Niero Desu
Where are they now? photo
Where are they now?

Where are they now? Ex-Destructoid editors in the biz

Papa Niero is proud
Oct 23
// Niero Desu
As some of you may have heard by now, Dale North (our editor in chief from 2010-2014) will be moving on to sunnier, though less 'toidy skies. You can read that announcement here. It's no secret that Dale and I have definitel...

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