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If the Destructoid editors were videogame characters

4:00 PM on 06.18.2009 // Chad Concelmo

They say there is a doppelgänger for every living person on this planet -- a look-alike twin wandering the streets with the same features as you. Yeah, it creeps me out, too.

But does this same concept hold true with videogames? It's been three decades (!) since videogames have become popular, introducing the universe to hundreds of thousands of distinct-looking videogame characters. Surely there has to be at least one videogame character in that massive batch that resembles you, right?

Well, I decided to put this theory to the test and see if I could match every Destructoid editor with his/her videogame doppelgänger. Was my experiment a success? Hit the jump to see the results! Keep in mind that these choices are based entirely on looks alone -- any personality similarities are just a fortunate coincidence.

Let the fun experiment commence!

This was a lot harder than I initially thought.

I have played too many videogames to count, and encountered exponentially more videogame characters. I was sure my memory could easily conjure up one matching character for each Destructoid editor without a problem.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy.

Here are my picks:

Hamza Aziz ---> Piston Honda (Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!)

The look-alike videogame character that started it all! For years, all of us at Destructoid have told Hamza he looks just like Piston Honda, the classic Punch-Out!! fighter. TKO from Tokyo!

Most similar feature: Those luscious eyebrows!

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Colette Bennett ---> Yuffie (Final Fantasy VII)

As cute as Yuffie is, she doesn’t hold an elixir to our very own Colette Bennett. Also, Colette is way more skilled with a 4-Point Shuriken.

Most similar feature: The short, pixie hair.

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Anthony Burch ---> Mr. Paneer (Wallace & Gromit’s Grand Adventures)

When I was putting this list together, I was worried there would be a few selections that may offend one of the editors. Luckily, Anthony himself suggested that he looked just like the wacky shop owner from the Wallace & Gromit universe. Whew! I couldn’t agree more.

Most similar feature: The ears.

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Topher Cantler ---> Balthier (Final Fantasy XII)

The header picture is even better. I was initially surprised that Topher looked so similar to Final Fantasy XII spotlight-stealer Balthier, but then I realized: wait, Topher is Balthier. They are both awesome, they both kick ass with a rifle, and they both love beautiful Hungarian-accented half women/half bunny creatures.

Most similar feature: They have the same piercings! (Creepy!)

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Nick Chester ---> Sherlock Homes (Zoda’s Revenge: StarTropics II)

When I first started researching this feature, Niero approached me immediately with this outstanding discovery: Nick looks exactly like Sherlock Holmes from StarTropics II. Seriously, it freaks me out a little bit.

Most similar feature: The face.

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Chad Concelmo (that’s me!) ---> Lucas (Mother 3)

I only wish I could be half as amazing as Lucas.

Most similar feature: The blonde, pointy hair. Oh, and the PSI powers.

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Ashley Davis ---> Irene Lew (Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos)

This was a tough call between Irene from the Ninja Gaiden series and Mo from Full Throttle. Irene won out in the end due to the almost identical hairstyles and matching neck wear.

Most similar feature: Like I just mentioned, the adorable haircut is dead-on.

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Jordan Devore ---> Lester (Out of This World)

I kind of want Grim to take off the glasses, put on a lab coat, and experiment with portals to other dimensions. That would make me really happy and make this match, in my opinion, perfect.

Most similar feature: The red hair; the super serious expression.

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Dyson ---> Gordon Freeman (Half-Life)

I never pegged Dyson as the Gordon Freeman type (the Half-Life star never wears a top hat and cape, for starters), but once the two were next to each other it all came together.

Most similar feature: Those iconic glasses!

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Tom Fronczak ---> Ralph (Wall Street Kid)

I don’t know about you, but I would totally trust my 401K in the hands of Fronz. He just looks the part!

Most similar feature: The hair; the suit; the air of success.

--------------------------------------------------------- 

Rey Gutierrez ---> Ness (EarthBound)

I was doubtful of this selection at first, but just imagine Rey making a peace sign and saying “Fuzzy pickles!” It all makes sense now, doesn't it?

Most similar feature: The baseball cap/dark hair combo.

--------------------------------------------------------- 

Jonathan Holmes ---> Disco Kid (Punch-Out!!)

Surprisingly, Jonathan Holmes is just as energetic and charming in real life as Disco Kid is in Punch-Out!! And it’s no coincidence that his videogame look-alike came from a Nintendo game.

Most similar feature: That distinctive grin!

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Joseph Leray ---> John Mullins (Soldier of Fortune)

If Joseph lost the glasses and donned a sassy black Blossom hat he would be the spitting image of the main protagonist from Soldier of Fortune.

Most similar feature: The porn star moustache.

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Daniel Lingen ---> Gau (Final Fantasy VI)

It is a secret to many, but Daniel (or Husky Hog as he will always be known to us) has been seen dancing in fields all around California trying to learn the special skills of the surrounding wildlife. Next time you see him, ask him to do his “Porcupine Rage.” It is a sight to behold.

Most similar feature: The wild hair.

---------------------------------------------------------

Brad Nicholson ---> Bayou Billy (The Adventures of Bayou Billy)

My initial reaction was to go with the obvious: the Prince from the newer Prince of Persia trilogy. But then I thought of Bayou Billy and there wasn’t even a second thought in my mind. Bayou Billy is awesome.

Most similar feature: Those biceps! *swoon*

--------------------------------------------------------- 

Niero ---> Alex (River City Ransom)

When he isn’t wearing the robot helmet, boss man Niero could easily pass for a martial arts-wielding thug from River City High.

Most similar feature: Maybe it’s just me, but Alex and Niero have the same face!

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Dale North ---> Harry Mason (Silent Hill: Shattered Memories)

This was the easiest choice to make. Ever since Dale hit that infamous, cell phone-holding pose, the world has been blown away by how much he looks like Harry Mason from the upcoming Wii remake Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. This similarity will go down in Destructoid history.

Most similar feature: Everything!

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Brad Rice ---> Souji Seta (Persona 4)

Brad Rice had to be paired up with a character from a Japan-focused game. There really was no other choice. It was pretty much written in the stars for that guy.

Most similar feature: Oh, man, definitely the hair.

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Matthew Razak ---> Trevor (Phantasmagoria: A Puzzle of Flesh)

Hopefully Matthew hasn’t played the sequel to Phantasmagoria, because Trevor meets a rather (*SPOILER ALERT*) untimely end in that game. Gruesome death aside, Matthew and Trevor share a lot in common!

Most similar feature: The facial hair.

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Jonathan Ross ---> Mikey (The Goonies II)

I had more trouble with Jonathan Ross than with any other editor. But when I started thinking about older games, Mikey from The Goonies II came to mind. It’s not the best match, but I think many similarities are there.

Most similar feature: The hair, maybe?

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Samit Sarkar ---> Marcus Hill (NARC)

Don't f*ck with Brown Town!

Most similar feature: Please, Samit is the guy from NARC. (I heard Marcus is scared of hornets as well.)

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Jim Sterling ---> Henry Hatsworth (Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure)

Henry Hatsworth wears a monocle, he is from England, and he battles enemies with not only his physical prowess, but his sardonic wit. Come on, was there any other choice?

Most similar feature: The monocle, of course!

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Conrad Zimmerman ---> Jim Raynor (StarCraft)

Conrad is not nearly as old as Jim Raynor, but give him a couple decades (and a few battles with the Zerg) and I bet the two could be twins!

Most similar feature: That glorious goatee.

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So, how do you think I did? Please feel free to rate my selections in the comments. Were the results accurate, or could they have been a lot better? If any of them were way off-base, please offer some suggestions of your own (but be nice!).

Also, why not try it yourself?! Pick a character that looks like you and post it in the comments (next to a pic of you). Even better, create a community blog. I am fascinated to see the army of videogame characters everyone comes up with.

Have fun! It’s a lot harder than it looks!



Chad Concelmo,
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