Today on Digg.com, there was a front page article about a female gamer with problems fitting into the online community and after reading her article, I feel that she doesn’t understand how the online world works.
Every female gamer can tell you at one time or another they have been insulted or hit on by another male gamer during an online game session or on a Web site in the comments or forums. It’s not fun and it hurts to have people act in such a way, but I don’t think that most female gamers understand that guys aren’t picking on them because they are women, but because they can pick on anybody.
When anyone goes into an online situation whether it is an online game session or a Web site forum, they are now in a world where everything they say and do has really no affect on them in the real world and some people tend to take advantage of this situation.
If you are in a bar or at work, you would be faced with consequences if you were to insult someone or sexually harass them. You would be fired, slapped or forced into a fight that couldn’t easily be dealt with. Online you can just turn the console or computer off, and never have to hear about the problem again.
The online world allows for people to say anything they want with little repercussions, and though I don’t find that fair, I do understand why people do it. I also understand that when a fellow gamer insults me online by telling me to go back to the kitchen where I belong, it’s because that’s the best insult he could come up with.
Male gamers insult each other with names like fag or worse. Male gamers insult female gamers with sexual stereotypes. It’s just how they do it. Our insults just seem worse, because we take it personally and guys generally don’t.
As for the online offers of cyber sex, again it’s just easier for a guy to say these kinds of things to women behind the safety of a screen, then to say it in public. Guys are always checking us out on a daily basis, but they can’t always respond to their urges because of the consequences. If a guy could ask to see your boobs in public without getting slapped, trust me they would.
In long run, female gamers need to understand that even though the behavior of idiot gamers is inappropriate and hurtful, guy gamers get the same treatment from the idiots too, but we tend to get it more, because they will always pick on what they think is the weaker person.
Just play your games and ignore the online idiots, because they will always be there at some point or another. This is the online world and its full of idiots.
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i want boobs
You echo such true words. Pale misanthropes living in their parent's basement, as well as the 26 year old office worker guy down the street, all can't resist to fill in the boots of the asshole on the internet. Such a culture it has spawned...
Welcome to the internet, enjoy your stay.
I kinda agree... u shouldn't stay online this late.
Can I see your Boobs?
Mystery explained, and now back to the kitchen.
Ya got any burgers in the kitchen? If so can you grab me one?
Maybe if they were in the kitchen where any good woman should be instead of the internet, they wouldn't be asked such booby questions.
I have to disagree with you Faith. The fact the girls and women are faced with rampant sexism any time they pop online is not acceptable, and their learning to live with it is not a solution. The immature and sexist behavior displayed by male gamers is shameful and honestly needs to be cracked down on. In any other environment this kind of behavior is punished, and rightly so... It is wrong. Pure and simple. There is no excuse for sexism, racism or any type of discrimination and it doesn't have a place in any aspect of modern society.
MMMMMmmmm... sandwiches.
Unless it's funny.
i don't think it helps when people call them "girl gamers".
instead of "girl gamers" and "guy gamers", why not just call everyone "gamers"?
i mean, you don't call J.K. Rowling a "girl author", do you?
@Philonious:
And who's on the internet to stop this rampant discrimination? Certainly not the assholes who continue to exhibit it.
@Philonious:
And who's on the internet to stop this rampant discrimination? Certainly not the assholes who continue to exhibit it.
I'm not gonna lie, most of the chicks I've played Gears against are pretty damn annoying.
@SP420
You'd think our mothers would have raised us all right and this wouldn't be an issue. There are laws against discrimination in the work place... I'd say complaint systems so that people with a history of derogatory remarks are banned from posting/chatting in online environment. The duration of the ban to be limited by the host.
@Grim
...and the stupid crap that spews forth from the mouthes and keyboards of online gamers is pretty damned annoying as well.
I agree with you Faith, the internet is the greatest extension to free speech, and people take it a little too far at times because of the ability to disconnect.
As far as forum posting and general internet communication, you will never be able to weed out the bad from the good without sacrificing some freedom in the process.
Xbox Live's reputation and blacklist/ignore functions are about as far as we can go when it comes to multiplayer games, and I think it's the right approach.
So does this mean your not going get on cam and show us you bewbz? That sux0rz. I love you though. Its not about the boobs. Gregor has boobs and I don't love him.
@philonious
I don't think she's saying it's ok, just that she understands why they do it and that it isn't personal.
Philonious... you will NEVER get rid of sexism or racism. EVER. There are billions of individual people in the world, all with their own beliefs, behavior and thoughts. To think that it's possible to squish it out of every aspect of our life is a laughably impossible feat.
The most we can do is supress it in its public form, which we've been pretty successful in doing, especially with today's sometimes unbearably politically correct society. The fact that the anonymity of the internet makes some people resort to stupid comments is a minor issue, really.
So if we can't get "rid" of racism and sexism, what's the next best thing? Shrug it off! Don't react! If you as an individual reduce the issue, then eventually it will disappear from your view of reality. As long as it isn't hurting you physically, then what's the beef? Keep your head up high and don't let little 13 year old jackasses make you angry.
I get a lot of shit because I'm asian. My communcations professor always assumes I know everything about asian language and culture, even though I've never step foot in Korea in my life. People always assume I know how to work with computers, and I'm a math genious. But I just laugh it off and refuse to let it bother me. Why? Because there really isn't anything I can do about it, so why waste the energy and time? I'd rather work on improving myself as a human being, establishing myself as an individual so people don't see me as an Asian, but rather as a pretty cool guy who has dark hair and thin eyes.
I have boobs Ron, do you love me?
The thing about it is that guys are extremely immature, if girls don't understand that then too bad for them. I will continue to make jokes.
Faith is the best girl gamer \o/
@Philonious - while I agree that sexism and racism have no place anywhere, even the intertubes, I think that Faith's point is that sexism, racism, xenophobia, and insults in general are not exclusive to girls. Guys online are insulted as much as girls, albeit not in a sexual manner. Is calling a guy a queer or a fag not as bad as propositioning a girl?
@Deiga
You're right we can't get rid of it, but companies like Microsoft for one can make it very clear what kind of behavior is unacceptable on services like Live.
And while I agree shrugging off the ignorance of other is commendable, there is a difference between assuming a girl can cook, and telling her to go back to the kitchen where she belongs. How would you feel if some guy harassed your mom or sister, asking them to him their boobs? How is it any better online than in reality? Would you just tell mom to suck it up?
@Orcist
I wasn't even going to touch the "Fag" thing, but that seriously has to go too. You don't walk up to strangers and say that, you shouldn't be doing it online either. People like to use anonymity as an excuse to be assholes... Accepting it as a reality will never lead to change. I think people need to wake up and realize how fucked up social reality on the internet is and start making changes.
Yeah emo kids, LOL.
I still want to see your boobs! Is that wrong? Someone call Dr. Phil, so I can punch him in the dick!
I'm not saying any insult is acceptable, but the more you bitch about it in an online forum, the more the idiots come out and just bash you further. Better to just ignore the bull and play your games.
You can ban people all you want if you have the power to, but there will always be an idiot to replace them.
but this is not real life its the interent wheter you like it or not thats just how things is if you cant deal with it thats your problem
i guess guys in general, whether online or in the real world, can be immature. I have to agree somewhat with Faith on her last paragraph. You just have to ignore the rude comments guys give you, and eventually they'll get bored and stop. You'll be stooping to their level if you fire back at them. But on the other hand if you don't take notice, they won't stop. Such a dilemma....
the most annoying thing to a person who is harassing someone is to be ignoreg bny the person he is harassing
*Generic Sexist Joke*
yeah leave faith alone or i kick your ass
Philonious- If you think that a stranger wouldn't call you fag on sight or after a short converstaion you've been sheltered from the true asses of life.
You need the realize how much real life social interaction is screwed. The internet is just a place where it's even esaier to see.
Some people act out for attention and social acceptance. These people can be changed by getting them a better social group.
Other people are truly uncaring about the feeling of others and do what they want, even if that means hurting the feeling of other for fun. I call them ASSHOLES. These people can not be changed. It's simply best to avoid them all together.
It's thier right to be assholes. You can't enforce morality or decency on others unless it interferes with a another persons basic rights.
You can only avoid them and make it so people you don't like can't be in your social groups, or in this case, network games.
I generally point people in the direction of http://welcome.twysted.net :P
I agree 100% that turning the other cheek is the thing people need to do in these circumstances. My point is that no one should have to put up with this stupidity... And I have to wonder if at some point our sitting here doing nothing makes us complicit to the original wrong. At some point someone needs to make a stand and make a point of saying this behaviour is unacceptable.
Lemme clear this up right now.
For roughly half a million years, the males of our species have been spending their entire allotment of brain capacity ruminating on food, sex, and sport.
Now, this Internet thing comes along.
And surprise, surprise, it reveals to all the ancient truth which is known to half of our species and a small savvy portion of the other half. The Internet allows males to communicate, speculate, cogitate free from the social inhibitions that have largely kept our inner thoughts in check for so many millenia.
So, when a guy on the Internet says: "Show me your titties," that's because that is actually what's in his (our) head most of the time. That's really how we pass the majority of our day. And we will equate all manner of external stimuli as an excuse to reference boobies and such. Excel spreadsheets? Sure, boobies. Crosswalks? Why not, boobies. Cantaloupes? Yeah.
It's important to us.
Kind of like shoes are important to women.
Well, if guys can control themselves in real life why not the same crap in the internet?
Actually from what I've seen just simply ignoring guys with rude comments won't work all that well. IF you have the tenacity and linguistic skill, visiciously calling out and attacking such people in the most public way will shut them down.
Make sure they know EXACTLY how much of a looser they are. Most men/boy really don't take well to being chewed out by girls/women. You don't have to be an easy mark make sure that if they hurt your feelings their ego suffers.
I think you're all making a mistake in assuming that because the internet is the way it is, that it is the way it has or should be. There are many injustices in the world and if no one had the balls to say something about them, there would be many more. Yes sexism and discrimination and stupidity are rampant online, but they don't belong here anymore than they belong anywhere else. If you want to see boobs on the internet there are plenty of places where you can find some... Both from porn and real live girls. Someone looking to play a round of Gears shouldn't have to listen to you begging to see hers. If you actually think that kind of behaviour is acceptable, I'm glad I don't have to deal with any of you in the real world.
i beleive this guy sats it best
What this chick doesn't seem to understand is she's being treated equally. Guys, gamer or otherwise, rag on each other ALL THE TIME and say shit to each other. So now she's upset because guys on the internet act like guys towards her and not try to butter it up or pretend to be anything other than what we are?
News flash, its how guys are. Just because your a girl won't change shit, if we say rude and crude comments and jokes about other guys, we'll say them about you too. Now STFU and either play your damn game or go back to the kitchen.
I refuse to treat anyone any different when I play an online game, if you're a woman and can't deal with it? Tough. If you're a guy and can't deal with it? Tough for you too. But I'm not going to treat someone special and talk carefully around them on the internet just because they are a woman. I have to worry enough about what I can and can't say in front of a woman at work enough, I'm not doing it while I'm relaxing as well.
STFU and enjoy your equality.
I agree with Grim 100% Especially them British ones, like a sack of bricks being used to kill a garden of kittens.
And my Mic I got with my 360 broke so I can't hear them anymore.
Fuck you Microsoft, Fuck you.
Here's another important point that gets overlooked.
This.
Takes.
Time.
It wasn't until VERY recently that videogames and the Internet, computers, and geek culture in general were almost completely a boys only club. It's only in the past few years that women have begun to make their presence known as contributors, consumers, and patrons of these mediums.
When I was a kid, girls didn't play school sports and the very idea seemed eccentric. Now, my daughter plays any sport she likes and the infrastructure is there to encourage at any level.
If anything, the Internet is progressing much more quickly in that regard.
About the insults and guys, This one dude named WEEDS something EXP-FUCKIN-LOADED when he got called a fag, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Glad my Mic broke, constant and I quote "YOU FAGGY ASS BITCH, THAT WAS BULLSHIT ETC....." It just got really fucking annoying.
Myg0t.com...... You will never get rid of the idiots online or in real life. Point of fact is this stuff DOES happen in real life too. And in the case of the online realm, little thundercunts like the ones at myg0t will look for you to react and take joy in it. Ignore it. Know your the better person for it. For farks sake this stuff will be with us humans FOREVER online and offline.
Awesome article, Faith!
Males express friendship to each other in crude ways. I can speak for myself and say that one of the things I like most about the Internet is that I am (almost) completely free to see or say anything I wish. Maybe the price for guys being polite in public is that they'll use places like the Internet as a dumping ground for their id.
Sorry, ladies.
What? Censor idoits online? Are you fucking crazy? It's the best fun there can be had to piss off an idoit. They'll fly off the handle and scream red faced into the mic for hours. It's like getting a free ticket to an improv show. Sure they get annoying after awhile thats when you mute/ignore/block/discconnect and move on to pissing off the next jerkfaced monkey. What use to me is a clean PC internet full of happy people frolicking? Way to take ALL the fun out of life.
Another thing people have to realize is that internet is not a public place. By agreeing to IM, join a forum, or play Live, you enter into the private sphere.
Orcist made his point... I agree with u
While I agree that joining a board or agreeing to IM is a decision, I disagree that this is the case with Live. Live is a service I pay for, WOW is a service I pay for, and in neither case is my money spent to listen to idiots spouting racist,s exist or homophobic epithets... They are also the only option for playing specific games online. I think it is a small favour to ask that gamers show their fellow gamers some common courtesy and mutual respect.
I can understand being upset by insults or jeering, I think anyone would be. It depends on what game you're playing or the audience, the less mature the other gamers the more likely 'OMG BEWBZ' or 'get back to the kitchen' is gonna come around.
As for being hit on, or other inquiries, why be put off by it? Maybe there are some nice people out there who would like to meet someone of the opposite sex who shares the same hobbies as they do.
Its rare that Ive met a girl gamers IRL, as meeting people over the internet becomes more and more acceptable over time, especially between people our age, why not?
As a girl gamer wouldn't you like to date someone who shared your hobby with you?
Alright, let ME clear this up.
Simply put, you can separate these types of guys into two categories. The first is the most common you see everyday. These guys are the most random people you see, like me. They know this is the internet and they know it's not real life. Therefore they joke around. Some times this involves in "Show me your b00bz" or something of the sort, but if anyone overreacts to something like that they need a good smack in the face. The internet isn't serious. It's a place for everyone to just sit back and have a little fun even if it is immature.
But then there's the other type of guy that we also see, the complete assholes. These pathetic low-lives will say anything to create drama, talk even worse shit about the opposite gender, and all the while sit behind their computer screens thinking they are so awesome because they made some dude cry about his dead wife.
Good thing about either type is you can ignore them. Shouldn't take anything seriously on the internet anyway >.<
@Caf...
Our age? The problem of hitting on is that on Live there is something like a 2000:1 guy to girl ratio. Every time a girl pops on she gets bombarded by requests to see her boobs, is she single, what is she wearing, etc. This is likely to scare many of them away... You catch more flies with sugar than you do with vinegar. If we manage to create a more girl friendly environment there is a chance more will be converted to our side and that people will come to stereotype gamers as total pimps instead of fat virgins who live in their parents' basement.
this has nothing to do with the post itself, but the picture. i love karekano =) the end.s
You establish a very valid principle. A lot of the people on the Internet are assholes because of the austerity they get hiding behind their monitor (so to speak.) So the minority of females who go on and game sometimes get the impression that everyone's a dick because she's female, when really everyone on the Internet is just a dick.
For once I read an article about girl gamers and it doesn't want to make me SCREAM!!!! HOORAY!
Yeah...guy gamers might use sexual stereotypes to girls but don't girls use sexual stereotypes against the guys too?
Just so it's said. Girl/lady gamers aren't to be placed on this pedestal that some of you are trying to push toward the sky. You all act like they're so feminine and soft and are so very scared of us Boy/guy gamers. This is total and complete BULLSHIT. Sorry i dated a "gamer girl" and she spent a good chunk of her online time harassing people. Mostly other females. So please, STFU about how we're scaring them away. It's total BS.
@Phil
Never had any experience with live, while i have used it at a friends, the amount of shit spewed by players on it makes me believe the crowed is much younger and more immature.
Where as on the internet, you can find groups that are civil and such. Take the replies to this article as an example, aside from the occasional bit of sarcasm, Id be willing to bet most people here are mature and can make sensible conversation, a rarity at times, but it still exists.
Before the second picture loaded I the title.
"Cause she doesn't have any."
Lol at that my friend.
*I saw the title.
The article itself makes a valid point, but some of these girls/women crusading for a rainbows and puppy dog world is just comedic.
Why do you care about what someone you don't even know and probably won't ever know says?
If they're such morons then why is their opinion valid at all?
Most people aren't serious at all when making fun of or harassing someone on the internet. They look for fun in frustration of the person they're bothering. If you're not bothered and just agree with them, they get pushed into a corner. Then they don't really know how to retaliate besides with common insults such as: fag, homo, nerd, 40 yr old living in moms basement.
I get the 40 year old one alot simply because my voice is deep. I just agree with them and go along with it. I think it's really funny that someone can assume your sexual orientation, age, and physical appearance simply from hearing your voice.
Unless they're threatening to kill you and know where you live, you shouldn't worry about some moron you will probably never meet again.
Oh and by the way.
http://www.4chan.org
Go there, go the the /b/random section and prepare to be offended.
Jaded to the bone I am.
It is not true that people don't randomly shout out "fag" or other discrimminating things of that sort... People have shouted that out to me when I've just been walking down the street, most likely because I wear tight pants, but still, people are rude in real life, along with online.
I think that guys need to stop being so immature though, and stop saying shit to girls online. If you are that much of a loser to not be able to hit on a girl in real life, then you need to go out and try to get a life.
Somebody needs to get the sand out of their vag**a. Can't you just deal with it like everybody else in the world. Its always gotta be girls that complain about this kinda stuff, while guys just shrug it off and keep playing. And you can't say that you indeed DO shrug it off, because if you did, girls wouldn't always bring this subject up. No guy has ever complained about being made fun of on LIVE. And if they did, they're a pussy...
Faith, you rock. Thank you for setting the record straight.
@Vince
It has nothing to do with them shrugging it off. It has everything to do with the dumb ass guys needing to stop the harrassment
Quite honestly, guys have it as rough as the girls. It's just that the avenue to pissing girls off has an extra personal touch.
I treat everyone (excluding those that have been deemed worthy by me with their actions or words) on the internatz like trash, male and female alike. The same (for me) applies to real-life as well.
Let's face it, most people deserve the verbal harassment that goes on at the place where the general populace congregates. Even though I don't have sources, I'd say about 90% (or even more) of the worlds population are utter morons that need to remember how to breathe.
Faced with those odds, nobody really deserves the benefit of the doubt. Asking the first girl you see if she will be your girlfriend, or telling some guy to go suck his dad's dick pretty much ranks on the same scale as far as "intelligent conversation" goes.
Just you know... different things for different people.
Quite honestly, if you're an active member of the general internet community, you deserve everything that's coming to you. Be it friends you make and stand by with for dozens of years, down to the spam mail you get in your inbox about penis enlargement.
The same people that harass women online, call me the N word on Xbox Live.
Actually, I don't care if somebody "sexually harrasses" me. I realize humans are indulging into what has been natural since our beginning.
My only trigger is if somebody callse me a "pimp". I hate pimps, the act of pimping and the damned word all together. It might just be me, but the carreer of managing whores seems like a bad idea to me. But what do I know? I'm just some guy from Iowa!
In the long run, everyone gets insulted so how online by some idiot, male or female. We all have done it once or twice to someone as well.
Its too easy to bag on people when all you have to do is type.
And there are idiots in the real world too, just not as many.
TITS OR GTFO
Yeah, but sweetheart you've got an avatar of you seductively wrapped around a very phallic game peripheral. You can't have it both ways.