Today on Digg.com, there was a front page article about a female gamer with problems fitting into the online community and after reading her article, I feel that she doesn’t understand how the online world works.
Every female gamer can tell you at one time or another they have been insulted or hit on by another male gamer during an online game session or on a Web site in the comments or forums. It’s not fun and it hurts to have people act in such a way, but I don’t think that most female gamers understand that guys aren’t picking on them because they are women, but because they can pick on anybody.
When anyone goes into an online situation whether it is an online game session or a Web site forum, they are now in a world where everything they say and do has really no affect on them in the real world and some people tend to take advantage of this situation.
If you are in a bar or at work, you would be faced with consequences if you were to insult someone or sexually harass them. You would be fired, slapped or forced into a fight that couldn’t easily be dealt with. Online you can just turn the console or computer off, and never have to hear about the problem again.
The online world allows for people to say anything they want with little repercussions, and though I don’t find that fair, I do understand why people do it. I also understand that when a fellow gamer insults me online by telling me to go back to the kitchen where I belong, it’s because that’s the best insult he could come up with.
Male gamers insult each other with names like fag or worse. Male gamers insult female gamers with sexual stereotypes. It’s just how they do it. Our insults just seem worse, because we take it personally and guys generally don’t.
As for the online offers of cyber sex, again it’s just easier for a guy to say these kinds of things to women behind the safety of a screen, then to say it in public. Guys are always checking us out on a daily basis, but they can’t always respond to their urges because of the consequences. If a guy could ask to see your boobs in public without getting slapped, trust me they would.
In long run, female gamers need to understand that even though the behavior of idiot gamers is inappropriate and hurtful, guy gamers get the same treatment from the idiots too, but we tend to get it more, because they will always pick on what they think is the weaker person.
Just play your games and ignore the online idiots, because they will always be there at some point or another. This is the online world and its full of idiots.
Contest:
7:20 PM on 01.24.2007
| 
instead of "girl gamers" and "guy gamers", why not just call everyone "gamers"?
i mean, you don't call J.K. Rowling a "girl author", do you?
And who's on the internet to stop this rampant discrimination? Certainly not the assholes who continue to exhibit it.
And who's on the internet to stop this rampant discrimination? Certainly not the assholes who continue to exhibit it.
You'd think our mothers would have raised us all right and this wouldn't be an issue. There are laws against discrimination in the work place... I'd say complaint systems so that people with a history of derogatory remarks are banned from posting/chatting in online environment. The duration of the ban to be limited by the host.
@Grim
...and the stupid crap that spews forth from the mouthes and keyboards of online gamers is pretty damned annoying as well.
As far as forum posting and general internet communication, you will never be able to weed out the bad from the good without sacrificing some freedom in the process.
Xbox Live's reputation and blacklist/ignore functions are about as far as we can go when it comes to multiplayer games, and I think it's the right approach.
I don't think she's saying it's ok, just that she understands why they do it and that it isn't personal.
The most we can do is supress it in its public form, which we've been pretty successful in doing, especially with today's sometimes unbearably politically correct society. The fact that the anonymity of the internet makes some people resort to stupid comments is a minor issue, really.
So if we can't get "rid" of racism and sexism, what's the next best thing? Shrug it off! Don't react! If you as an individual reduce the issue, then eventually it will disappear from your view of reality. As long as it isn't hurting you physically, then what's the beef? Keep your head up high and don't let little 13 year old jackasses make you angry.
I get a lot of shit because I'm asian. My communcations professor always assumes I know everything about asian language and culture, even though I've never step foot in Korea in my life. People always assume I know how to work with computers, and I'm a math genious. But I just laugh it off and refuse to let it bother me. Why? Because there really isn't anything I can do about it, so why waste the energy and time? I'd rather work on improving myself as a human being, establishing myself as an individual so people don't see me as an Asian, but rather as a pretty cool guy who has dark hair and thin eyes.
The thing about it is that guys are extremely immature, if girls don't understand that then too bad for them. I will continue to make jokes.
@Deiga
You're right we can't get rid of it, but companies like Microsoft for one can make it very clear what kind of behavior is unacceptable on services like Live.
And while I agree shrugging off the ignorance of other is commendable, there is a difference between assuming a girl can cook, and telling her to go back to the kitchen where she belongs. How would you feel if some guy harassed your mom or sister, asking them to him their boobs? How is it any better online than in reality? Would you just tell mom to suck it up?
I wasn't even going to touch the "Fag" thing, but that seriously has to go too. You don't walk up to strangers and say that, you shouldn't be doing it online either. People like to use anonymity as an excuse to be assholes... Accepting it as a reality will never lead to change. I think people need to wake up and realize how fucked up social reality on the internet is and start making changes.
You can ban people all you want if you have the power to, but there will always be an idiot to replace them.
You need the realize how much real life social interaction is screwed. The internet is just a place where it's even esaier to see.
Some people act out for attention and social acceptance. These people can be changed by getting them a better social group.
Other people are truly uncaring about the feeling of others and do what they want, even if that means hurting the feeling of other for fun. I call them ASSHOLES. These people can not be changed. It's simply best to avoid them all together.
It's thier right to be assholes. You can't enforce morality or decency on others unless it interferes with a another persons basic rights.
You can only avoid them and make it so people you don't like can't be in your social groups, or in this case, network games.
I agree 100% that turning the other cheek is the thing people need to do in these circumstances. My point is that no one should have to put up with this stupidity... And I have to wonder if at some point our sitting here doing nothing makes us complicit to the original wrong. At some point someone needs to make a stand and make a point of saying this behaviour is unacceptable.
For roughly half a million years, the males of our species have been spending their entire allotment of brain capacity ruminating on food, sex, and sport.
Now, this Internet thing comes along.
And surprise, surprise, it reveals to all the ancient truth which is known to half of our species and a small savvy portion of the other half. The Internet allows males to communicate, speculate, cogitate free from the social inhibitions that have largely kept our inner thoughts in check for so many millenia.
So, when a guy on the Internet says: "Show me your titties," that's because that is actually what's in his (our) head most of the time. That's really how we pass the majority of our day. And we will equate all manner of external stimuli as an excuse to reference boobies and such. Excel spreadsheets? Sure, boobies. Crosswalks? Why not, boobies. Cantaloupes? Yeah.
It's important to us.
Kind of like shoes are important to women.
Make sure they know EXACTLY how much of a looser they are. Most men/boy really don't take well to being chewed out by girls/women. You don't have to be an easy mark make sure that if they hurt your feelings their ego suffers.
What this chick doesn't seem to understand is she's being treated equally. Guys, gamer or otherwise, rag on each other ALL THE TIME and say shit to each other. So now she's upset because guys on the internet act like guys towards her and not try to butter it up or pretend to be anything other than what we are?
News flash, its how guys are. Just because your a girl won't change shit, if we say rude and crude comments and jokes about other guys, we'll say them about you too. Now STFU and either play your damn game or go back to the kitchen.
I refuse to treat anyone any different when I play an online game, if you're a woman and can't deal with it? Tough. If you're a guy and can't deal with it? Tough for you too. But I'm not going to treat someone special and talk carefully around them on the internet just because they are a woman. I have to worry enough about what I can and can't say in front of a woman at work enough, I'm not doing it while I'm relaxing as well.
STFU and enjoy your equality.
This.
Takes.
Time.
It wasn't until VERY recently that videogames and the Internet, computers, and geek culture in general were almost completely a boys only club. It's only in the past few years that women have begun to make their presence known as contributors, consumers, and patrons of these mediums.
When I was a kid, girls didn't play school sports and the very idea seemed eccentric. Now, my daughter plays any sport she likes and the infrastructure is there to encourage at any level.
If anything, the Internet is progressing much more quickly in that regard.
Sorry, ladies.
As for being hit on, or other inquiries, why be put off by it? Maybe there are some nice people out there who would like to meet someone of the opposite sex who shares the same hobbies as they do.
Its rare that Ive met a girl gamers IRL, as meeting people over the internet becomes more and more acceptable over time, especially between people our age, why not?
As a girl gamer wouldn't you like to date someone who shared your hobby with you?
Simply put, you can separate these types of guys into two categories. The first is the most common you see everyday. These guys are the most random people you see, like me. They know this is the internet and they know it's not real life. Therefore they joke around. Some times this involves in "Show me your b00bz" or something of the sort, but if anyone overreacts to something like that they need a good smack in the face. The internet isn't serious. It's a place for everyone to just sit back and have a little fun even if it is immature.
But then there's the other type of guy that we also see, the complete assholes. These pathetic low-lives will say anything to create drama, talk even worse shit about the opposite gender, and all the while sit behind their computer screens thinking they are so awesome because they made some dude cry about his dead wife.
Good thing about either type is you can ignore them. Shouldn't take anything seriously on the internet anyway >.<