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Bayonetta 2  



I swam around as a snake and then I don't know what happened in Bayonetta 2


12:00 PM on 08.30.2014
Bayonetta 2 previewI swam around as a snake and then I don't know what happened in Bayonetta 2 photo



Minor confession to make: I haven't played Bayonetta. Yeah, I hear it's good, but I just never got around to it. It happens. Heading into a quick hands-on session with Bayonetta 2, I figured my inexperience wouldn't matter much.

Wow, was I ever wrong. Now a few hours removed from the demo, my head's still spinning from trying to discern exactly what the hell just happened.

I played chapter five, titled "Cathedral of Cascades," which started off with me transforming into a snake and swimming to land. I was incredibly good at this part, probably because it was impossible to screw up. Being the rock solid reporter that I am, I inquired as to whether Bayonetta can turn into any other animals.

Did you know Bayonetta can transform into a fucking panther? Maybe I would've if I played the original, but seriously -- a goddamn panther. Needless to say, the next couple minutes were blocked off for panther dashing. That line of people behind me? I didn't care so much about them; they probably got lots of panther time in the first game. 

Once that novelty wore off, I continued with the demo and things got significantly more convoluted. Combat? Yeah, I had no idea what I was doing. I eventually fell into a rhythm with the dodge button, and felt semi-competent despite the fact that I probably wasn't. I managed to rack up gold statuses on a few sections. That euphoria vanished immediately when the Nintendo representative told me that there are two rankings above gold. So, it's kind of a really fancy C-plus.

However, combat was the most intuitive thing in the world compared to the narrative. Cut scenes? They looked nice, but it might as well have been in another language for as little sense as it made to me. Nintendo gave me a whole list of things that I can't mention in this preview, but it need not worry because I don't have a clue what any of those words mean anyway.

My massive heaps of ignorance aside, I had a good time with Bayonetta 2. Combat can be supremely satisfying when the pieces fall into place. The plot? Maybe it's good, I don't know. But, don't be concerned with all of that because you can transform into a sea snake and a panther. That's all that really matters.

This wasn't a very good preview.





Bring all the boys to the yard with Bayonetta's earrings photo


Platinum wants 'more Bayonetta in 2015,' starts work on another project photo


FUGGETABOUTIT!! photo
FUGGETABOUTIT!!
1:45 PM on 11.10.2014


Bayonetta 2 is giving me the Tetris effect photo


Review: Bayonetta 2 photo
Review: Bayonetta 2
1:30 PM on 10.24.2014


Yep, I have no idea what this Bayonetta 2 trailer's all about photo


Kamiya re-iterates that bringing Bayonetta 2 to PS4 or Xbox One is Nintendo's call photo


Here's the entire Bayonetta 2 Nintendo Direct, check out the Star Fox costume photo


Bayonetta 2 is getting its own Nintendo Direct tomorrow photo


I swam around as a snake and then I don't know what happened in Bayonetta 2 photo


Bayonetta 2 Updates, Screenshots, & Videos







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timeline following:
Bayonetta 2



4:00 AM on 01.30.2015
Bring all the boys to the yard with Bayonetta's earrings

Koubutsuya is helping Bayonetta lovers make a fashion statement with these hot new earrings which are an exact replica of Cereza's. The company is known for its quality reproductions of anime items aimed at adults who desire ...more



11:00 AM on 12.31.2014
Platinum wants 'more Bayonetta in 2015,' starts work on another project

We were recently teased something special that was Bayonetta related during Christmas, but it ended up being a calendar. Bummer! No worries though as Platinum Games recently confirmed to 4Gamer that they want to do more Bayon...more



1:45 PM on 11.10.2014
FUGGETABOUTIT!!

What, no "If you need to learn how to talk to a lady, ask your mom"? At least this probably-old-but-new-to-me Bayonetta 2 soundboard has Enzo's catchphrase. I feel bad for making it to the end of the game before realizing he'd been left behind. What a goof. A foul-mouthed, lovable goof.more



7:00 PM on 11.06.2014
Bayonetta 2 is giving me the Tetris effect

Bayonetta kicked my ass last week, but I finished it (after giving in and switching the difficulty setting to Easy). I survived Gracious and Glorious, and sent you-know-who hurtling into the you-know-what. Damn, what a cool g...more



1:30 PM on 10.24.2014
Review: Bayonetta 2

Outside of Devil May Cry 3, Bayonetta is one of the finest action games of all time. The action systems were so clean, so precise, and so rewarding that it leaves pretty much everything these days in the dust. Bayonetta 2 doesn't change a whole lot, and that's perfectly okay with me.more



5:00 PM on 10.09.2014
Yep, I have no idea what this Bayonetta 2 trailer's all about

Look, I'm not the type of guy that would lie to you. I wouldn't feign expertise in something I know nothing about. Today, that something is Bayonetta 2, as this launch trailer makes very little sense to me. This is all givin...more



9:00 AM on 10.01.2014
Kamiya re-iterates that bringing Bayonetta 2 to PS4 or Xbox One is Nintendo's call

As we draw closer to the international release date for Bayonetta 2, a lot of people continue to bring up the exclusivity deal. "Will we get it one day on other platforms," people ask constantly, hoping that one day it will s...more



8:00 AM on 09.05.2014
Here's the entire Bayonetta 2 Nintendo Direct, check out the Star Fox costume

I'm still surprised that Nintendo is pushing Bayonetta 2 as hard as it is when Wonderful 101 matched their brand effortlessly, and they barely promoted it. As I've said in the past, every time I've seen this game d...more



9:00 AM on 09.03.2014
Bayonetta 2 is getting its own Nintendo Direct tomorrow

If you're interested in Bayonetta 2, you may want to clear your schedule for tomorrow afternoon. Nintendo has just announced that there will be a special Bayonetta related Nintendo Direct, held at 3PM PST on September 4t...more




Bayonetta

1:15 PM on 02.02.2015
Platinum's 404 page is a cute little Bayonetta demake

Instead of displaying a simple file-not-found message, the 404 page on Platinum Games' website holds a score-attack demake of Bayonetta. It's worth a moment of your day. The game is simplistic -- you jump and shoot at oncomin...more



4:00 AM on 01.30.2015
Bring all the boys to the yard with Bayonetta's earrings

Koubutsuya is helping Bayonetta lovers make a fashion statement with these hot new earrings which are an exact replica of Cereza's. The company is known for its quality reproductions of anime items aimed at adults who desire ...more



8:45 PM on 01.11.2015
We're streaming Bayonetta 2 again tonight 'for the thrill'

Spatterhouse champ Caitlin Oliver and her trusty sidekick Kenny are coming back tonight at 9pm CMT to stream more of one of your favorite games of 2014, Bayonetta 2. Caitlin's got about half way through the game las...more



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