Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

I suck at games: so bring on undies and a knife!

7:00 PM on 08.18.2009 // Elsa

[It's time for another Monthly Musing -- the monthly community blog theme that provides readers with a chance to get their articles and discussions printed on the frontpage. -- CTZ]  

That's right, undies and a knife! Why should that guy that has played FPS games forever and seems to have the time to play 24/7 be running around with better gear, better guns, better grenades and have the ability to call in dog attacks as a "special" bonus for killing me ten times without dying so he can laugh his ass off while I become dog meat once again? He should be running around in undies and a knife to kill n00bs.

I mean isn't this guy GOOD? If he's so damn good, why doesn't he want a challenge. As people progress up the ranks, as they get to know the maps and strategies, they should get less stuff. Make them choose a gun to throw away and armour to dump. And the very best 1% in the game, those guys or gals at the very top of the leaderboards -- yeah, they're the one's running around in undies and a knife! If they start dropping down in the leaderboards again, give them back some stuff, maybe a gun or some light armor. I hope they feel bad about it too. I mean wouldn't you want to be that awesome avatar in the undies with a knife, right? 

In Killzone 2, if you play often enough, you not only rank up and unlock lots of options, but you also unlock permanent point bonuses. You can play the exact same game as another player, but if you have unlocked the headfetish, corpse counter and other badges, you could be getting as much as double points or more for each kill. How does that make sense? Someone who obviously plays the game more, is better at the game and will get more kills anyway is getting extra points for kills? Are gamers so pathetic that they can't just win but the devs have to reward them with bonus points so that they own? What's the sense in that aside from discouraging new players? Undies and a knife ... yeah, that's the answer!

I'm not literally speaking of undies and a knife (though I love the idea), but rather than rewarding the really awesome players with "more", why not have them give them choices that give them "less" as they rank up.

In single-player games, the challenges increase. Why can't it be this way in multiplayer games? The n00b should have access to everything. All the amour, guns, rocket launchers, dog attacks ... hell, nuclear strikes if they're in the game! They can try everything out, see what they like, what they don't. As they go up the leaderboards or gain ranks they lose options/items. Keep the dog attack if that's what you want, then just sneak around using your dog attacks with skill. Just like Killzone and the 1% ribbon, stats can reset once a week and you can drop in rank. You reach the "Undies and a knife" rank and don't play that week, you drop down in the leaderboards and get some of your stuff back. Clan games would also change. They'd actually be recruiting for that n00b that only plays once a week because competitive games having that heavily armored n00b-bait could be an important strategy.

The sad thing is that FPS online gamers don't seem to like to play "fair". If they buy the game on launch, practice and become good, they don't want to be challenged. They want to own n00bs, not be killed by them. Online FPS games are rarely glitch-free and many gamers seem to have no problem using exploits to gain unfair "God-mode" advantages in order to rack up the points and they prefer to point to stats and the almighty KDR to show how good they are. I don't know that an outfit (or lack thereof) would have the same pull as killstreak awards, or benefits like stronger armor (juggernaut), faster reload/fire times, better weapons or even martyrdom where you get a last shot at killing an enemy before dying. Gamers that have ranked up and know the game, seem to feel they "deserve" these advantages. The success of COD4 seems to well illustrate the gamer mentality of "PWNAGE at any cost"!

When I win a game because I'm a higher rank, have more unlocks, better weapons, better armor or get more points for kills, in all honesty, I don't feel like I've "won" the game. It really isn't a fair fight and I take no pleasure in a win of that nature. I guess this is one of the reasons I tend to prefer Warhawk or UT3 over other games. These games have a level playing field where everyone, regardless of rank, is pretty much the same. It's skill, teamwork, and maybe some luck, that wins you the game. However, even in these types of games, if playing with a bunch of friends who just bought the game, I'm quite capable of slaughtering them. Devs respond to these inequities by usually creating the abilities to have servers reserved for lower or higher ranked players but it's no fun playing alone if you rank up fast or buy the game a year after release.

I suck at shooter games. When I buy the game more than a month after release, when I rank up, then take a break from the game and go back to it, when I play other games and don't devote myself to the one game or when I have a life. I sometimes wish I sucked at games a little more when I play a game I'm really good at with a friend who just bought the game. I like to play with my friends but suckage should be more even and fair. Undies and a knife is the answer!

I want to be that awe-inspiring, revered avatar in undies and knife so devs make me that game!


(and Silverdragon, that knife isn't for making you a sandwich!) 



Elsa, Moderator
 Follow Blog + disclosure Tips
I'm 52 years old, I'm female, I'm happily married, I'm retired from the work force... and I spend way too much time gaming. I enjoy long walks on the beach, with a gun, sometimes with my husband... more   |   staff directory



 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

TheKodu avatarTheKodu
So I'm hearing the UN called Japan in to discus "Banning the sale of video games or cartoons involving sexual violence against women " Which by Anita's standards = any Violence able to be done. Japan sent a 40 page long NO back to the UN in reply.
Amna Umen avatarAmna Umen
Why did I have to read that Austin Grossman was going to be one of the writers on a cancelled Half-Life 2 episode?
Parismio avatarParismio
Dammit its 3 and i cant stop reading cute gay romance mangas.
Nekrosys avatarNekrosys
Going to be honest; I love out-of-context anime screenshots. They're... kind of incredible.
Jed Whitaker avatarJed Whitaker
Retweet of the year goes to President of Worldwide Studios, Sony Computer Entertainment, Inc., Shuhei Yoshida.
Voodoome avatarVoodoome
Just got home from Deadpool and ... it's not good. I liked the jabs at Green Lantern and the previous movie Deadpool, but that was about it. The rest was just painfully forced dick jokes. Wife fell asleep.
Nathan D avatarNathan D
Larxinostic rule34
CoilWhine avatarCoilWhine
Looks like I'm not gonna be able to 100% Tearaway Unfolded until Monday at the least. I'm definitely writing about it this weekend and am trying my hardest to get my screenshots off of my PS4 (especially hard as I don't do social media anymore)
Darth Wachen avatarDarth Wachen
I've never done a blog before, so I may as well try one with a review of Stranger of Sword City....well, when I get entered into that contest of course
ikiryou avatarikiryou
Shakedown Hawaii is giving me good GTA vibes. I missed the topdown GTA games when they were a thing. I have to decide what platform to get it for since it's coming to 3DS/Vita/PS4/PC (probably the Vita version for moi).
TheBlondeBass avatarTheBlondeBass
You think your art sucks? Here's the rule34 I made of Larx yesterday. Look at it and despair.
Nekrosys avatarNekrosys
Hey Dreamweaver? If you think your art sucks, you should have a look at my magnum opus. It's of Cloud from the popular game, Final Fantasy: All the Bravest.
Agent9 avatarAgent9
I never thought this would happen, but here I am. all of my 700+ pokemon gone in one day. My cart stopped working and there's nothing I can do. I quit, you can't just rebuild all that. Time to find something else.
taterchimp avatartaterchimp
Tom Collins is a pretty great drink, and well suited for poutine. consumption
Solar Pony Django avatarSolar Pony Django
It may be because I've been drinking but... We need some dung beetles from ark for the front page. Move that dung on out.
CoilWhine avatarCoilWhine
Does anyone know how to get PS4 screenshots onto a PC without needing a flash drive? I don't have a spare.
Dreamweaver avatarDreamweaver
This is an example of how bad my drawings are. I honestly think drawing stick figures would've been easier on the eyes. :( The worst thing about this image is that this was made after I got BETTER. Trust me, you don't want to see my earlier stuff. T^T
ChillyBilly avatarChillyBilly
So I received a mysterious box in the mail today. When I opened it I was blown away...The friends I've made here on Destructoid are amazing (More pics in the comments).
Parismio avatarParismio
FRISK PACIFIES YOUR FACE!
MeanderBot avatarMeanderBot
Woe is me. This month's Cblog theme is basically an excuse to draw pretty girls, and here I am with no time.
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -