[It's time for another Monthly Musing -- the monthly community blog theme that provides readers with a chance to get their articles and discussions printed on the frontpage. -- CTZ]
On a beautiful day, in spite of many glaring issues as a human being, I strolled into my local GameStop. With hesitation and slight unease, I purchased Dead Space. After viewing many gameplay videos and watching all episodes of the Dead Space motion comic, I convinced myself to buy a survival horror game.
For me, the move to buy Dead Space was a risky one. The risk came not only from the $60 price tag, but it also originated from my deep fear of survival horror games. I nearly sweat with most ventures into the genre, and I can't play them with much success as my mood can damn near make me quit playing.
I suck at survival horror games. By that, I mean I can't play them. I am a pussy when handed a scary game. So, when I got home with Dead Space, popped it in, and began, I was unsettled. The game starts out in a sense of urgency, and then, very soon after, you meet the monsters. Deformed cadavers with sharp arms sprinting at me ... The game, from that moment on, was an incredibly tense experience.
I powered through until chapter 2 and near the end of that, I left the game. My return was a lengthy one, not having had the courage to actually go back and submit myself to a scary, sweat inducing, yet admittedly entertaining game. I felt as though it was a chore to go back, and so I didn't, not until I felt the need to justify my purchase. I despised having wasted $60 on a game I'd only played an hour of.
Past Hauntings
To step back a second and shed a little light on my previous horror game experiences, I'll take you with me on my trip through Resident Evil 4. Starting out, Leon is in a small cabin-type house. A man is by the fireplace, and you kill him. Hurrying to the second floor, Leon then leaps out of a window and lands outside surrounded by diseased villagers. After dispatching them, I made my way along a path. Then, I saw a small building, a little tiny wooden structure. A couple of these things were scattered around, but this one I decided to enter.
After eliminating the man inside, I looked to my left. Staring me in the face was a dead women, hanging from the wall by a pitchfork that was rammed through her face. I turned my Gamecube off at that point, and never returned.
My next venture, I suppose, would be BioShock. What an intentionally long lapse in time -- The Gamecube era, all the way to the 360 generation. In this case, I was able to play a large portion of the game. BioShock just wasn't scary. However, like Dead Space, it was tense. Regularly checking behind myself, I always feared attack, and eventually I just stopped. At one point, before even encountering Sander Cohen, I sort of lost a bit of my shit.
I cannot recall the exact way in which this happened, but I'll try to do justice to the experience. In a room, which, I recall, was covered in ash, or some sort of white powder, with lots of pictures on the ground and walls, I heard a Splicer. I walked around the first floor, sauntered upstairs, and no Splicer was found. Why then, could I distinctly hear the sounds of a Spliced up bastard roaming nearby?! It's unfair that I quit a game as a result of a glitch, or a cheap scare, but that was the result.
Resident Evil 4, BioShock, these are heralded as some of the best games of all time, so how could things appear worse? I'm not sure, but I can add icing to this pussy cake: Half-Life 2. Don't flip shit just yet.
Alright, flip shit, this is a tad pathetic. I bought the Orange Box before it even came out in order to access the Team Fortress 2 beta, and with that came Half-Life 2, and Half-Life 2: Episode One. I had heard great things, so I booted up Half-Life 2 and prepared for an awesome time. The beginning is great, despite my stupidity with some puzzles. I quickly progressed, and soon came face to face with the zombies. The zombies are not scary, I know. They're not scary at all! I continued through my first encounter, and at one point two zombies jumped out of some sludge-covered water, unexpectedly. I flipped shit. By flip I mean quit, and by shit I mean Half-Life 2 (Not to imply Half-Life 2 is shit, it's great).
Needless to say, I am a timid creature when it comes to the horror genre of gaming. I just cannot finish some games, and when I play them, I am usually so cautious in my actions that I progress rather slowly. To say my fear overwhelms enjoyment would be an overstatement because I do enjoy all the games listed, but the fear prevents me from returning.
After a lengthy delay I returned to Dead Space. However, and many of you know this, Dead Space has excellent audio. The sound is great, every footstep, every breath, all brought to life vividly. I was fascinated with the sound, but it held me back. It was too good. I couldn't handle listening to the sound while still playing the game, so I turned the volume off. The tension was cut, if only slightly, and I powered through.
Even in scenes of extreme tension, where you would find me trembling in my boots, I managed to press on. With the mustering of some courage, I was able to finish Dead Space. I conquered my Everest.
I understand that the idea of "conquering your fears" is supposed to transform you, to help you evolve and be able to stand face to face with that fear again, and again. But, you know those guys who climb Mount Everest, reach the top, and never return? That's me. I suck at survival horror games.
Contest:
6:20 PM on 08.20.2009
| 
Bro i understand you i remember getting RE4 (got "gamespot Edition metal case") on launch and only
played for about 4 hours....everyday after work i really tried to play a hour but i feel it as a chore.....
Silent hill was the last survival horror i finished......
In fact, this reminds me of a really funny story about Silent Hill. I won't shit up your blog's comments with it, though.
I've spent a lot of time reading wiki pages for games that I wished I could play, but knew I was too much of a chicken to make it through.
@Zodiac I understand your pain. The Silent Hill games have recently become a fascination of mine. I've watched several "Let's Play: Silent Hill" videos, and seen the entirety 1,2, and 3 in such a format. I plan on playing Silent Hill 2 though. That game seems like such an incredibly piece of work, I feel like I owe it to myself to beat it. In the case of Fatal Frame... I can't... I just can't...
It's an added bonus when your wife is in the same room and the game scares the shit out of her!
Survival Horror is my favorite game genre i think.
I'm thinking maybe you should take all of those things and do the exact opposite.
But i'm already conquered my fears, i just LOVE the three originals RE because they're more horror and less action.
I recomend BioShock and Far Cry 2, they're not scary but they're tense and you will be constantly looking over your shoulder.
PS: I need to play Dead Space ASAP.
Eventually I found you can just kind of "game" a lot of these games and focus on the game mechanics (in Silent Hill this means you can just run past most enemies) and they aren't as scary anymore, but it almost feels like you're defeating the point.
I beat Resident Evil 4 soundly the first time through, just because it was such a good game. However I've never really gone back to playing it, soley because of the chainsaw guys, which even though the game isn't really scary, having an enemy that causes instant death combined with the sort of clunky controls makes me very uncomfortable. The midget guy's Alien looking assistant things scared me less just because they couldn't knock your head off in one hit.
HL2's early head crabs are mainly just irritating but the poisonous ones in later stages? The large, spindly spidery ones!? D: It reminded me of Army Men 2 (lol, what a silly franchise that was), which featured gigantic spiders, in the first level no less. Returned it (AM2) the next day.
I can likewise relate to the author regarding RE4 as well; made it past the first encounter with the village not-zombies with the help of a friend and that's all I could bear. Not only was it too good—it's the video game equivalent to Alien (and I can watch Alien)—its tank controls make the player feel entirely too vulnerable...and frustrated.
And Dead Space, well, I couldn't even make it through the demo! However, I did find some solace after reading a critique that pointed out its single biggest flaw as a 'survival horror' game—its desensitization of the player to the monster. I beat the demo but lost interest in Dead Space with the realization it wasn't going to be scary after the first chapter or so of shooting the same aliens over and over. Frustratingly ironic, yes.
I think some people are very tuned in to 'atmospheres', and some aren`t, be it in games, films or real life circumstances. Some can switch off from the atonal, deliberately unnerving music, constant screaming and sounds of peril, violent imagery and so on, that accompany these games. Some can`t. Like sponges. You`re a sponge, as I am :)
to wit: http://james.nerdiphythesoul.com/bennyhillifier/?id=1sjCQI5k1_4
My big breakthrough was three straight hours of the first Silent Hill in the dark by myself, and I haven't looked back.
Anytime something's supposed to mildly scary or creepy it shoots to the top of my play list.
To give you an idea of how bad my fear can be, I recently sat down to play Shadow of the Colossus for the first time, which is an awesome game by the way, and a couple times I would get really nervous walking through a new area, because I never knew when the colossus might appear.
I sympathize with your feelings, and tell you to just keep trying because there are some great games you are missing out on.
Couldn't relate to the main character and I dunno what was up with his girlfriend. Cool looking game though and the anti-grav stuff was fun.
I'm also a gore loving anime fanboy and i don't have much problem with violence or torture except these creepy long haired washed up skin ladies from asian horror movies and Higurashi or Ayakashi animes.So games like Fatal Frame and Siren kinda creeps me out while i enjoy playing games like Parasite Eve, Condemned , Dead Space or Clock Tower anytime,anywhere.
In Fatal Frame 2 , that twisted neck women who just keep falling down from the ceiling while screaming is the scariest thing i'd ever experienced on any horror games.
Also,how come nobody mentioned about Pyramid Head here?maybe everyone thinks he's adorable.
yeah. on a second playthrough, when you know that's going to happen, try turning around and walking backwards.
DEAD SPACE IS NOT A SCARY GAME
Btw, the woman with the pitchfork in RE4, I was grossed out by that as well. I didn't expect to bump into something so ghastly at such close range. However, I carried on...
BUT - I'm at a point where i have to fight through a good few "thingies" and I've run out of ammo, and saved. Now I'm not actually sure if i can make it "back" to a shop to buy more ammo (big thing chasing me, little things in front of me, but I can't get past where i am without any ammo.
So it's become a chore to put on, so i've been back on UFC for a while.
Bioshock was really unsettling at the begining. After a couple of chapters I became such a powerhouse with the plasmids and the reseach I would go straight face against almost any enemy armed with my wrench. At that point, I kind of missed that sense of underpower...
I just have to say, play a less action oriented horror game. Like... clock tower! Or you know, a game that doesn't have a shotgun.