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It's after December 5th and I'm done writing for my finals, so I now have the time to tell you what was in the "locked" F.E.A.R. 2 promotional suitcase. I say "locked," but anything that my friend Grant can break open with nothing more than a screwdriver and about thirty seconds of spare time can't really be considered "locked" in any legitimate sense, can it?

Just a bunch of random crap, really.

Some photocopied schematics of what looks like a gaming rig designed by Anthony Burgess, some photographs of two dudes in Shady Covert Military gear taking a parcel from a jeep, a video on a USB drive of a bunch of random people performing "psychic" miracles that wouldn't have been impressive thirty years ago, and two letters -- one in English, one inexplicably scrambled -- suggesting that I might be going to New York City to play F.E.A.R. 2 in January.

At Kotaku, Fahey went through the trouble of taking pictures of all the stuff and uploading the silly video, which is great because I really didn't want to do any of that.

Like I told you: the contents of the case weren't as interesting as this.








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20 comments | showing # 1 to 20
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garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:10
garison
God, I love Ash!

I really thought it was going to be a ghost. Seriously.
Blind assassin's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:12
Blind assassin
Score! Free USB drive.

I do find it hilarious that they sent you a case in an attempt at pseudo-viral marketing and you put in the minimum effort before saying "fuck it" and just breaking it open.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:25
MrSadistic
delicious briefcase, nom nom nom
Cube's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:27
Cube
The usb drive is really a bomb.
CblogRecaps's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:34
CblogRecaps
Dammit, and I was expecting Gwenyth Paltrow's head in there...
Cube's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:37
Cube
And you are all infected with anthrax since you opened the case incorrectly.
DFS Vegas's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:44
DFS Vegas
I know I'm pointing out the obvious, but the photoshop potential for that picture... Wow...
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:44
pendelton21
RULE 34 ON ASH.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 00:45
pendelton21
...I'm probably gonna immediately regret saying that...
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 01:08
garison
FUCK YOU PENDELTON!
A Humble Mr Perfect's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 01:46
A Humble Mr Perfect
dtards unite on pendleton's prop 34.

vote 4 change. vote 4 shoop.
Clance's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 03:44
Clance
Let's leave all that shit for Gametrailers, eh?

I think Ash is gonna be a comedy actress, she like a young Sarah Silverman.
10pt's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 04:21
10pt
Good, you finally told us. I knew it was probably promotional stuff, but it's quite rude to leave us on a cliffhanger without saying something like "More on that soon"
Chronic Logic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 08:43
Chronic Logic
Were you guys hoping for a decapitated head or something in the case?
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 11:08
F Whipple
You're finished with finals already?? Damn you!
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 11:08
F Whipple
You're finished with finals already?? Damn you!
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 11:17
Holyetheline
Aw. Wish it was a bit more exciting... but whatever.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 13:14
mix
At least the suitcase is shiny.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 16:47
Darren Nakamura
It almost would have been better if you just left us hanging forever.
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 20:36
TrailerParkJesus
If I were a briefcase, would ash eat my contents?
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