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Home Poop Emergency updates

HUGE Sony victory: Vampire Rain CONFIRMED for PlayStation 3

3:01 PM on 05.08.2008, Jim Sterling 53 comments

HUGE Sony victory: Vampire Rain CONFIRMED for PlayStation 3 photo
     Poop Emergency

That's it boys, the console war is finally over. You can roll out the red carpet and welcome your new king, as publisher AQ interactive confirms that Vampire Rain, up until now a hot Xbox 360 exclusive, is coming to the PlayStation 3.

For the past year, Sony and Microsoft have tussled over those all-important exclusives. Sony would love Gears of War, while Microsoft would consider Metal Gear Solid quite the coup. However, the latter company has always had the edge thanks to Vampire Rain. The horror game is a unique blend of underpowered weaponry and shoddily stitched together stealth that gamers found irresistible. Quite simply, it is the best game the 360 has ever had, and losing its exclusivity is going to be devastating for the company.

While analysts are not predicting total bankruptcy for Microsoft, it is rumored that this announcement will be a financial nightmare, and could very likely see MS selling its games division to Kentucky Fried Chicken. Once the renamed Vampire Rain: Altered Species hits the PlayStation 3, it is believed that Sony stock will rise so high that Wall Street will actually bleed -- real blood will seep from building walls and paving slabs as the location itself hemorrhages under the pressure of pure concentrated profit. 

Hope you enjoyed the console war while it lasted. At least the dream of a Windows Vista blended with eleven herbs and spices will now be a reality.


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loki d20's Avatar
loki d20 at 05/08/2008 15:02
F&(#! That POS game is coming to the PS3? I know someone at Microsoft is laughing their ass off right now. Spread the love? More like spread the pain.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 05/08/2008 15:04
Farewell Microsoft... And to think they wasted all that money getting exclusive episodic content for GTA IV instead of locking up Vampire Rain.
riomccarthy's Avatar
riomccarthy at 05/08/2008 15:04
Ah Jim, your sarcasm makes me <3 you.
Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 05/08/2008 15:05
hahahahahahaha. Jim you are too much sometimes. The walls will actually bleed... hahaha
Y0j1mb0's Avatar
Y0j1mb0 at 05/08/2008 15:05
LMFAO!!


Vampire Rain..the most Godawful game since Two Worlds.
loki d20's Avatar
loki d20 at 05/08/2008 15:08
What is Vampire Rain? Stuttering Craig said it best
mix's Avatar
mix at 05/08/2008 15:11
Never heard of this game before and I think there was a good reason for it.
Jordan Grim Devore's Avatar
Jordan Grim Devore at 05/08/2008 15:12
I freakin' love you Jim.
The Johnggernaut's Avatar
The Johnggernaut at 05/08/2008 15:12
Sarcasm FTW! Vampire Rain. How could it fail? It's like Splinter Cell with Vampires...
MaxVest's Avatar
MaxVest at 05/08/2008 15:12
amalgamut00's Avatar
amalgamut00 at 05/08/2008 15:19
LOL?
JynxShot's Avatar
JynxShot at 05/08/2008 15:20
This article gave me such a great laugh. Bravo.
Bricfa's Avatar
Bricfa at 05/08/2008 15:22
Yeah, so a mediocre (at best) barely heard of 360 game is coming to ps3 now. Not such a big deal for us gamers.

But take a look at the bigger picture. This means publishers now consider it profitable to port to the ps3, even if the game is not a guaranteed big seller. Perhaps this means developers have finally wrapped their heads around the ps3's hardware and can port without too much difficulty. If this is true then there will be less of an incentive for publishers/developers to keep their games exclusive to the 360.
wardrox's Avatar
wardrox at 05/08/2008 15:22
fucking fanboy
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar
Conrad Zimmerman at 05/08/2008 15:24
Does Sterling's acerbic wit know any bounds? Nay.
Qraze's Avatar
Qraze at 05/08/2008 15:28
lmfao!
PaperBowser0's Avatar
PaperBowser0 at 05/08/2008 15:35
Vampire Rain....WTF?!
Macarello's Avatar
Macarello at 05/08/2008 15:36
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNN

king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 05/08/2008 15:42
Best game ever?
ElfShotTheFood's Avatar
ElfShotTheFood at 05/08/2008 15:49
Vampire Rain is coming home.
ShinAmano's Avatar
ShinAmano at 05/08/2008 15:52
I am selling my 360 this sucks :(
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar
Kyousuke Nanbu at 05/08/2008 15:52
It wasn't THAT bad.

I kinda liked fighting vampires that could rip you in half, like vampires SHOULD be.
Magesx's Avatar
Magesx at 05/08/2008 15:57
IT'S OVER

MICROSOFT IS FINISHED
galagabug 's Avatar
galagabug at 05/08/2008 16:05

vampire rain, microsofts now feeling sony's pain.
vampire rain, you'll never need to play another game.
vampire rain, something something something ryhmes with rain.
vampire rain, shoot me.
F Whipple's Avatar
F Whipple at 05/08/2008 16:12
OMG Jim ur such a sony fanboi!!!!
mabman's Avatar
mabman at 05/08/2008 16:23
I don't know how Microsoft will battle back from this. I think they should just commit seppuku just because of the huge moral victory for Sony
solarmystic's Avatar
solarmystic at 05/08/2008 16:34
Vampire Rain = featured in Screwattack.com's SAGYs last year but lost to Hour of Victory..

Just pass the excrement along, why don't you, M$?

Billie and his pals are giving themselves high 5s and slaps on the back for this one, eh, fellars? This really takes the saying 'Give the dog some scraps' a whole new dimension!
vp360's Avatar
vp360 at 05/08/2008 16:44
is this a joke
Morrius's Avatar
Morrius at 05/08/2008 16:45
Admit it, it's probably better than most the games on PS3 right now...
Netrat33's Avatar
Netrat33 at 05/08/2008 16:47
Good stuff. :) Share the pain
mistic's Avatar
mistic at 05/08/2008 17:03
doesn't matter on which console it is to me, it just has to be really good...
big filth's Avatar
big filth at 05/08/2008 17:36
" mistic says:
05/08/2008 17:03
doesn't matter on which console it is to me, it just has to be really good... "

^

dont hold your breath.

also, very funny Jim.

i really feel bad for people who cant pick up on sarcasm.

I feel almost as bad for the people who do get it and think they deserve a cookie for it.
delriego's Avatar
delriego at 05/08/2008 17:39
Oh this isn't over! microsoft still has the bomberman exclusive!
Aurikill's Avatar
Aurikill at 05/08/2008 18:03
It's more of a brown rain, isn't?
RoMeRtHeGaMe's Avatar
RoMeRtHeGaMe at 05/08/2008 18:15
Efing epic Jim! I was laughing my ass off here at the office.
Rifter01's Avatar
Rifter01 at 05/08/2008 18:44
ch-ch-chocolate c-c-c-combo rain!!!
vampireblood's Avatar
vampireblood at 05/08/2008 18:55
Jim I love your writing style, Sarcasim up the ass.

Vampirerain was one of those games which had around 0 Hype and didn't meet expectations I don't even know why they even bothered with this title.
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar
TrailerParkJesus at 05/08/2008 19:07
yur funny
BastardJones's Avatar
BastardJones at 05/08/2008 19:14
Screw it! So long as it isn't a full price title I am definitely fucking down for some vampire killing on the PS3! FTW!
Hopefully they fixed the save/checkpoint issue.
adultswim810's Avatar
adultswim810 at 05/08/2008 19:43
DAMMIT I WANTED THE FIRST CHOCOLATE RAIN JOKE
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 05/08/2008 20:15
Jim, I laughed so hard at that caption. And of course, your sarcasm is priceless, as always.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 05/08/2008 20:18
Hells_666: I know you love projecting gay fantasy, but I really don't want to have to get your banned for your homophobic bullshit, so I would politely suggest you cut it out. It wasn't funny the last time you did it either, child.
TheToiletDuck's Avatar
TheToiletDuck at 05/08/2008 20:34
I heard the ps3 version will have the Vampires AND Rain which was lacking from the 360 version (actually, i'm not sure about the rain).
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 05/08/2008 20:44
buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks buying sony stocks
SubOrbital's Avatar
SubOrbital at 05/08/2008 21:59
Lol DIAF Sony.
Batthink's Avatar
Batthink at 05/09/2008 05:03
@ Galagabug;

LOL!

Yes, a good idea for a game, but reviews say fail.
ExceptionOE's Avatar
ExceptionOE at 05/09/2008 05:37
My sarcasm detector is off the chart.
JohnThEReaper617's Avatar
JohnThEReaper617 at 05/09/2008 09:15
well sony finally killed the 360...this is indeed a sad day a day that will live in infamy, a day that will make children cry and old people shit themselves....actually does the world even care..prob not. Was that game actually that terrible i never played it..
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