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How to piss everyone off in Left 4 Dead photo

Left 4 Dead, in case you haven't noticed by now, is a firm favorite in the Destructoid offices. While it's had its fair share of criticism for repetition and a short campaign, those who have fallen in love with Valve's zombie shooter have found it endlessly replayable, especially Versus Mode, in which four human survivors take on the zombie horde and four Special Infected.

One thing it can also be, however, is endlessly annoying, and that's because there are plenty of dirty tricks and nasty tactics that can turn any Versus game into an endless barrage of swearing and controller throwing. However, it is highly recommended that you do all of these at least once, just to be a wanker. 

This is a (by no means comprehensive) list of some of the tricks that have irritated me and my friends. I've avoided using official "cheats" but there is, however, one famous exploit that had to be included, and you already know what it is. Generally, however, these are currently permissible tactics that should piss you off ... depending on what side you're on. 

Read on for a quick guide on how to piss people off in Left 4 Dead.

Shove It:

Even though the Survivors are just four people against a whole army of zombies, that doesn't mean the Infected have it easy in Versus mode. In fact, they have a whole host of weaknesses and it takes luck and good teamwork to get very far. One of the main reasons for this is because the Survivors have a shove attack that not only does damage, but is incredibly versatile with no penalty for use and can knock any Infected for six. 

If a team of Survivors get themselves into a corner and do nothing but spam the shove, they can get out of most situations with ease. Since the Special Infected are highly prone to this as well, anybody looking to get into a close quarters fight with a Survivor will find themselves in a bad situation unless they've very good at hit-and-run tactics. Getting shoved will leave any Infected highly prone to attack, and with a low amount of health, that first shove is usually the last. 

If you're a Survivor, shove it everywhere you go. If a Boomer barfs on you, find a wall and melee your way to victory. You can guarantee that Infected players will be cursing your name. 

Boom Baby Boom:

Boomers are just dicks, whatever way you look at them. First of all, nobody likes being one-upped by a fat man, nor do they like being vomited on, and the Boomer rolls both of these humiliations into one. 

The Boomer's very existence pisses people off, and when you vomit on someone, not only blinding them but bringing about an onslaught of Infected. The best part is that simply getting shot will see you explode in a shower of vommy triumph. When the mere act of running towards someone is going to irritate the shit out of them, you know you're onto a winner. 

Smoking Kills:

While the Smoker has his uses and some players can utilize him very well, I am personally very crap with him, thus I hate all Smokers. What's worse is that anybody playing a Smoker on the final chapter of No Mercy has an open opportunity to crush the Survivor team's spirit and knock them down from four to three in an instant. 

You've probably seen this one many times, but on the roof of Mercy Hospital, there are two very high places. One is the entrance to the roof from which the Survivors come, and one is a vantage point right next it, just a Smoker's tonguelick away. All a Smoker has to do is stand at the vantage point and wait for the Survivors to emerge. With a little luck, he'll drag one of them off the roof, where they will then fall straight to the ground and die in the resulting fall.

It's quick, it's easy, it's a dirty little trick, but by God it works.

Except when I try to do it.

Lifts Are For Idiots:

There's a reason why everybody plays Versus on the No Mercy map, and that's because it's where all the exploits and secrets are. This is a very simple one that's pissing off Infected teams more and more because everybody is learning about it.

Rather than take the lift in Chapter 3 of No Mercy (the one that attracts a buggerload of horde), all the Survivor Team needs to do to progress is to melee a shutter door that takes them into the next part of the game and completely eliminates a potentially tide-turning portion of the game. It pisses you off when you're the Infected, but it's not like you won't be doing the same thing next round.

Jumpy Shortcuts:

In the same spirit as the shutter trick, there are a number of portions in the early goings of No Mercy where players can skip entire sections of a chapter. Strategic jumping can make things a breeze, such as hopping off the roof in Chapter 1's starting point rather than walking through the apartment building, or leaping out of a window into some handy trashbags below. 

Naturally, this is bad news for the Infected, who need to work extra fast to keep the Survivors from reaching the safe house. A useful tactic indeed, but it won't win you any friends in zombie circles.

Generator and an Elevator:

Yes, you're all well aware of this one, and until Valve patches it out of the Xbox 360, it's still going to continue. Yes, it's a famous and incredibly underhanded exploit that really gives the Special Infected leverage and usually inspires groans of "Aw, c'mon" from the Survivor Team. 

Basically, the Special Infected can move various pieces of scenery around with their melee attacks. It didn't take long for someone to work out that this mean they could block exits, and now in Chapter 4 of No Mercy, every time the Survivors take the elevator they expect to see their path cut off by a massive generator, trapped and prone to attack from Boomer-spawned Horde waves. 

It's very annoying, but at the same time, it's become so expected that any team that doesn't do it automatically looks stupid. So in a way, peer pressure is causing people to exploit the game. 

Survivors have reported that with enough patience, they can melee the generator out of the way, but the best thing is to try lobbing a pipebomb under it and hoping for the best. Just hope someone a pipebomb.

Like the Above, but Different:

The elevator is not the only place where Special Infected can cause trouble with the scenery, and in one case, there is a far nastier trick. There are two places in Chapter 3 where Survivors can be obstructed. One is just before they enter the Sewers -- a Forklift truck can be smacked into the entrance to the room with the sewer entrance, according to reports, while another, which I have fallen victim to, lies at the exit to the sewer. 

This has only happened to me once, so I'm guessing it's not so widespread, but the manhole that leads out from the sewer can be covered up by the surrounding debris outside. Somehow, we managed to escape but I'm not entirely sure how it was done. Either way, it is far more malicious than the elevator, if just for the fact that it isn't as expected.

The Fire God Mind Fuck:

This one is all thanks to our very own Wilbo, who has earned the nickname of The Fire God thanks to his obsession with Molotov Cocktails. If he is a Survivor, he will grab and throw any Molotov he gets his hands on. If he is Infected, he will set himself on fire and jump on the nearest human within leaping distance. He is The Fire God, dangerous to his enemies and lethal to his friends. 

Wilbo tells me that one thing he likes to do -- and this pertains to the "lethal to his friends" part -- is throw a Molotov while everybody is in that famous elevator from Chapter 4. Rather than just burn everyone, the most unfortunate side effect of this little "joke" is that the character with the Molotov under their feet will simply glitch out and fall through the elevator floor. 

Wilbo is not only The Fire God ... he's a bit of a cockhead as well.

The Hunter Victim Teabag Supreme:

All I'll say is that I myself have fallen victim to this one, and I still feel dirty. It is often said that to stand and do nothing is an evil unto itself, but to stand and teabag is a far greater sin. Left 4 Dead is all about teamwork, and if you're not a team player, you're going to piss someone off. What that means is that if a Hunter has pinned me to the ground, you're supposed to get him off. 

Not teabag me while it's happening. 

Yes, I could scarcely believe it, but as a Hunter proceeded to shove me to the ground and rip my guts out, another player (naturally as Francis) silently stood and watched for a moment, then very calmly squatted up and down over my face, before running away like a bastard. 

Seriously ... that's worse than team killing. That's team molestation.

And that's pretty much how you piss everyone off.


Continue: More Xbox 360 stories





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78 comments | showing # 1 to 50

falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:13
falinter
Another way to piss some one off is to join a game thats full. Get everyone to vote someone on the other team out of the game. Invite one of your friends to play so that he will naturally join that team. Then he continues to shoot everyone (or attack if they are infected). Effectively this ensures your victory if you have a double agent on the other team.

Its happened TO me before. I have never done such a heinous act.
SnakeDude4Life's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:14
SnakeDude4Life
For PC only:

Use the console command bind mouse3 "+zoom;vocalize PlayerDeath", then middle click for lulz.

Use the console command bind mouse1 "+attack;vocalize PlayerWarnBoomer" to piss everybody off.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:14
Jim Sterling
Cotton, for someone who hates Left 4 Dead, you sure do post a lot about it. I was pretty sure you'd be the first to reply, and I am not disappointed.
Matlox's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:14
Matlox
The Hunter Victim Teabag is hilarious. I must admit that I have not done it yet (seeing as whether we like our teammates or not, we need to work with them if we want to win), but your description of it is hilarious.

As for the elevator glitch, yes, a pipebomb works wonders. I've found that jumping on the wheel, while meleeing with all the other survivors can give you the opportunity to become glitched/stuck between the elevator and the generator. This isn't permanent, however, as sooner or later you become unglitched and it moves the generator with the resulting force. Another interesting note: everytime I've gotten stuck behind that generator, our team has ALWAYS gotten out. All it takes is patience. If you don't have a pipebomb handy, try to find an explosive canister. If all else fails, jump on it frantically on different spots while meleeing. The trick is that sooner or later some special infected will come by to taunt you (after all, they get impatient as well). Don't kill them. If a hunter tries to hit you or pounce you, he will probably unglitch the generator by accident. Same with smoker attacks. Once their causing damage though, by all means kill them, but just try to let do a pounce or something without letting them get any hits.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:15
Gyrael
Awesome.
Half left's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:15
Half left
Fuckin' wilbo. >=[
Linkoman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:16
Linkoman
Great shit jim.
masterninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:17
masterninja
Wow I never even seen these things in L4D...

I gotta start playing versus mode more..
wilbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:17
wilbo
FIREGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:18
Syn
Just the other day I played L4D for the first time. Not yet played online though because XBL sucks peepee. But we took turns playing through the campaign, good stuff. Now I know what people are talking about when they mention Boomers, Hunters, Smokers, and the fucking Witch.
Jon2309's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:18
Jon2309
Last one is fucking brilliant and as soon as Steam actually starts fucking working again, I'm soo using it.
TheBigFeel's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:19
TheBigFeel
I was so angry the first time I came across the elevator blockage... naturally because I hadn't thought of it first. hrmph!
wilbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:19
wilbo
dont anger the FIREGOD!
I WILL BURN YOU ALL TO THE GROUND
CypherVR's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:19
CypherVR
i don't encourage griefing but it's funny as hell when the hilarity is captured on youtube for all to see ^_^

there has GOT to be some cheat codes or unique DLC for either offline use or gamerpoints disabled/etc.
Shadowboi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:20
Shadowboi
oh man teabagging, i have got to try that sometime
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:20
Jim Sterling
BIT OF A COCKHEAD AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Don's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:21
The Don
One of those damn hunters got me and a teammate just stood watching me get my guts ripped out. That was bad enough. If someone teabagged me while I was getting my guts ripped out I'd be PISSED.
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:21
Syn
@CottonMcKnight: How can something work 60% of the time everytime? That doesn't even make sense.
CypherVR's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:23
CypherVR
here's one...
Fusiontr's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:24
Fusiontr
Fire God damn Wilbo

He likes de fire more dan de ladies

tee hee
Fleet3000's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:24
Fleet3000
thank god i haven't seen any of this in the PC versions. maybe i just don't play enough.

I think i have found my solution.
Matlox's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:24
Matlox
Another way to piss people off in L4D:

If a horde is keeping the survivors occupied and you happen to be a Hunter, sneak up on one and simple use the regular attack on him (not the pounce). You'll seem like just another zombie in the horde except you'll do 10 damage a hit, and you usually won't be noticed for a bit so you can get in a good amount of hits. By the end of the assault, you can make someone go from green to red, or green to yellow at the very least. That's enough to piss someone off right there.
Detry's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:25
Detry
/me sings "Ima boomer ima boomer ima boomer, ima boomer ima boomer ima boomer"


WEEEOOOO WEEEOOO WEEEEEOOOOOOO

OOOHWEEEOOH WEEEOOOOOH WEEEOOOOOOH
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:26
Puppy Licks
If somebody made a fire god TShirt i'd SO wear it :D

FIRE GOD FTW!!!
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:27
Jim Sterling
Cypher:

I was trying to avoid things I hadn't seen and straight up "cheats." But God damn that image is so fucking awesome.
Axion22's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:27
Axion22
"Just hope someone a pipebomb."

That's my favorite tactic.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:32
Jim Sterling
Cotton:

Well sure, you don't like the game, but you do seem to go out of your way to point it out every time. *Shrug*

Personally, I think it's quite an accomplishment that a game with "just" four maps has been able to spark such continuing conversation, a ridiculous amount of videos and a breakdown of all sorts of discoveries, tactics and nuances.

Yes, the game cost me £49.99, but I have played games with FAR more content and "gameplay hours" that have felt like a worse waste of money. I play L4D almost every day, either with randoms, with Dtoiders or with my wife. I get more playtime out of that game than nearly every other full-priced title I've played for the past few years.

I certainly respect that you think it's a waste of money, but I've logged more play into that game than many "40+ hour epic quests."
SakuChan's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:36
SakuChan
This is hilarious, really. I didn't know about the moving crap around until I played with a friend last night and he mentioned it to me. I think the one I couldn't stop laughing at was the blockage in the sewers. The teammates ended up killing each other because they couldn't climb out LOL. Seriously, I couldn't stop laughing. I'm sure I would have laughed at it too if I was playing the survivors. The enemy team tried to do the elevator blockage but my friend had known about it too and we were prepared to blow it up out of the way.
OrangeGoblin's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:38
OrangeGoblin
I haven't seem him as the fire god, but I think it was Wilbo who introduced me to medpack races. It was me and a friend, Wilbo, and Wardrox in a Versus match on No Mercy, and we were completely crapping on the other team. We actually managed to kill 3 of them before they had left the rooftop.

In an effort to event the score, Wilbo suggested a medpack race: equip a medpack, and run as fast as you can to the end of the level, stopping only to melee zombies in the face with your health kit.

The hilarious thing is, we still won.
CWal37's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:40
CWal37
Out of my group of friends we generally run our own servers when we play. Because of this the difficulty depends on the person who started it, for example I'll up the max amount of zombies to 100,000, and make mobs spawn at leas 200-300 at about a tenth of their normal time interval. I also give the survivors a speed boost though, and the better weapons right off the bat.

I'll also bind spawning some amount of zombies, could be 5 could be 50, to random keys, so if I hit them by mistake things get messy really fast. You've gotta remember what not to hit.

Messing around in the console can make things a lot more fun, although I do enjoy the game either way.
ZeroTolo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:46
ZeroTolo
LEFT 4 MEDPACK!!
meego's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 17:54
meego
You missed a good one:

As a hunter, repeatedly pounce a Witch. After a few hits (sometimes it takes longer, I'd say anything between 10sec-1min), she will stand up and start pursuing you. She will stop where you die. Very good to relocate her or take her on the offensive.

Borderline cheating though..
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:04
Necros
Reading stuff like this makes me want to pick up the game even more.
Jumbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:05
Jumbo
@Cotton McKnight

The Golden Girls is awesome. The fuck's the matter with you?
maltman1856's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:12
maltman1856
thanks for the tips, i love this game, and the leagues have finally started so it's all about good strategy. i haven't seen any of the movable scenery on the pc, so maybe those are just for console only. anyways, some good strategies here. my question is though, do you think the developers thought of all of this when they made it. for example, the breakable door? seems like they did it on purpose so that people have the option of being a dick or not.

here are some more good strategies not mentioned:
1) hunters should melee- instead of pouncing meleeing takes a ton of damage and works great when survivors are boomed and you creep up behind, they never attack you.

2) non-crouch pounce- when a hunter, stand next to a wall. now all you have to do is simply jump up and then pounce from there, like an instant wall jump-pounce if you know what i mean. effective for teams that like to move fast.

3) double penetration sensation- when a smoker gets a survivor, a hunter can melee the attacked survivor without breaking the tounge. it's an awesome trick to kill off a lagging newb at the back of the group quickly.

4) control the witch- by directly pouncing (and i heard meleeing works too) a zombie can activate the witch and she will chase and kill you. by doing this you can move the witch to a specific spot of the map. great for setting up attacks.

5) ultimate attack- when the tank comes, don't use it. simply go to a spot on the map where you want the tank and sit there. after control of tank switches, simply do this again. eventually the tank will become auto-controlled and attack. the benefit is that you will have all 4 special zombies and the tank... it's awesome!

6) DEATH FROM ABOVE- when you are the tank don't attack them directly. find a good spot on a roof and just hurl rocks on survivors. good players can hit survivors from across the map. it is great.

the reason i give this out is because not many good teams out there, and i want more competition. the team i play with and i discovered these, so i doubt anybody has heard of them unless you have played us.

if you can't tell i love being the infected. and MELEE MELEE MELEE!!! it works much better than pouncing and smart players can use it to not be melee attacked by the survivors. ENJOY EVERYONE!!!
Aziel13's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:13
Aziel13
ahh the griefing fun
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:15
Jim Sterling
Cotton: Typically people talk more about what they're interested in, not what they aren't.
meego's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:16
meego
"2) non-crouch pounce- when a hunter, stand next to a wall. now all you have to do is simply jump up and then pounce from there, like an instant wall jump-pounce if you know what i mean. effective for teams that like to move fast. "

Nice. Didn't know this one. I can foresee some brutal interceptions..

Seriously, the Hunter is a Ninja.
Yuphrum's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:18
Yuphrum
I still cant stop laughing about that The Hunter Victim Teabag Supreme. ROFLMAO!
Solgrim's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:24
Solgrim
That header image is hot.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:26
Holyetheline
I love L4D. Cotton just needs to stop hating so much. Good post, Jim.
The Young Scot's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:28
The Young Scot
WILBO IS A FALSE GOD!!
killatia's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:43
killatia
that pic is so wrong on every level, AND I LOVE IT! Who made it anyways?
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:45
mix
Sadly I stopped playing this for Resistance, but it looks like I havn't missed much.

Damn that Wilbo!

WILBOOOOOOOOOOOO JENKINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Kent's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:48
Kent
If L4D was on PS3, cotton would love it.
Tet's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:50
Tet
Are they ever going to fix this game?
MissHinasaki's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 18:55
MissHinasaki
Cotton: No, you talk about it incessantly because you're a cock. Jim, why are you humoring him?

Wilbo is old news.
SwamiPat's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 19:12
SwamiPat
this is the first thing jim has ever written that i have enjoyed. bravo jim.
pascuz46's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2009 19:23
pascuz46
@ Cotton LOL, while I would disagree that was still pretty funny.
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