Hey, you! Yea, you! Do want to make money quick? Do you want women, power and fast cars? Do you want to be snorting cocaine off a hooker within the next six weeks? Well, if you're Lil' Poison, Arjun Mehta or Lim Ding Wen, you can't do those things we promised you this past weekend. However, you can still buy all the candy you want.

Videogames are full of people who want to make money off their favorite hobby, and Yahoo recently featured a group of them, focusing on just how amazingly young some of them are. Many of them aren't long out of diapers, and they're making more money than most of you. Arjun Mehta is fourteen-years-old, and his PlaySpan company raised $16.8 million in venture capital ... which he now gives to his father.

Victor M. 'Lil Poison' De Leon III has a stupid name, but he's an eleven-year-old pro gamer who is in the Guinness Book of Records and has been on 60 Minutes. He's got a hairless acorn winkie, but he probably gets more women in a week than you ever have. Lim Ding Wen made an iPhone App that reached 500,000 downloads, beating his father in a competition to see whose App could be more successful. He's only nine-years-old. If I was the father of that boy, I'd be simultaneously proud of him and ashamed of myself.

The article is worth checking out, just to see how long you can stand to read it before you're consumed with envy over these little snot-nosed brats and their huge wads of cash. Also, because it features professional Halo player Tom Taylor, who is one third of the team Str8 Rippin. We only mention that because it sounds like a gay porn site. BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS GET RIPPED APART ... or something.