Harvest Moon Wii looks retarded cute. There are fat little cows and sheepsters, little kids with big fat heads, rainbows, puffy clouds, green rolling landscapes, and not the slightest evidence of bleeding cattle trapped in barb wire or feces anywhere in sight! The Japanese site doesn't offer much information, but we can safely presume that you'll be able to use your Wiimote to groom cows and perform all other kinds of repetitive farming activities.

One must look upon the entertainment value of this game with guilt. If your great great grandparents were alive and saw you playing a video game that wantonly trivializes the hardships of rural life, they'd probably kick you in the face. Lucky for us, they're dead and have long been eaten by worms, which we also play with. They just wouldn't understand. Harvest Moon Wii will be responsible for the exploding heads of women and children in Japan later this year.