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Harvest Moon Wii site launches; your ancestors are disgusted with you

11:40 AM on 01.30.2007, Niero 23 comments

     Animals

Harvest Moon Wii looks retarded cute. There are fat little cows and sheepsters, little kids with big fat heads, rainbows, puffy clouds, green rolling landscapes, and not the slightest evidence of bleeding cattle trapped in barb wire or feces anywhere in sight! The Japanese site doesn't offer much information, but we can safely presume that you'll be able to use your Wiimote to groom cows and perform all other kinds of repetitive farming activities.

One must look upon the entertainment value of this game with guilt. If your great great grandparents were alive and saw you playing a video game that wantonly trivializes the hardships of rural life, they'd probably kick you in the face. Lucky for us, they're dead and have long been eaten by worms, which we also play with. They just wouldn't understand. Harvest Moon Wii will be responsible for the exploding heads of women and children in Japan later this year. 


LAUNCH GALLERY (6 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo
 

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moclippa's Avatar
moclippa at 01/30/2007 11:54
"If your great great grandparents were alive and saw you playing a video game that wantonly trivializes the hardships of rural life, they'd probably kick you in the face."

Hah, I always love your humor Niero... Kick me in the face... thats so true, I'm sure they would. That does it, out of respect for the dead, I won't play this game.
Toneman's Avatar
Toneman at 01/30/2007 12:09
If they know what's right, they'll replace the main character's head with my Mii's head.
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 01/30/2007 12:15
I've never played Animal Crossing so I can't relate. I do know that this game is a major time waster, so like animal crossing, they do share that trait. If you're all up into milking cows every day and chopping up stumps, this game is the one you've been waiting for.

You have chores, responsilbilities, you are tasked with finding a wife/husband and wooing them, working 8 hour days, and you have to pay your bills.

Screw what I said yesterday about Sonic. THIS is the first truly adult Wii game.
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 01/30/2007 12:16
HAha, best headline ever.
Knives's Avatar
Knives at 01/30/2007 12:17
I like harvest moon games, i like to pretend I'm responsible somewhere :p
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 01/30/2007 12:47
@ bhive01:

It's like Animal Crossing, but your menial tasks have a little more purpose day to day.
Rockvillian's Avatar
Rockvillian at 01/30/2007 12:54
This looks promising, but I hope they add more customization this time around. All my previous experiences with Harvest Moon games is once you get married and have a kid, you're pretty much left with repetetive tasks for the rest of the game. And no, "winning" Harvest Moon is not a reward.

Wifi could help, but I doubt that'll happen. Fingers crossed!
Zooma's Avatar
Zooma at 01/30/2007 13:02
A good friend of mine once told me that only bitches play harvest moon. I then looked at her, and replied...
"fuck you"
dorock's Avatar
dorock at 01/30/2007 13:09
I've loved the Harvest Moon series ever since I played the first one on the SNES.I think what sold me was being able to have a family. (I was a sad child) :D The 64 version was fun even if it was riddled with bugs galore.

Though I never really cared for the cube version. I think the PS version was perhaps the best in the series.

Though this looks pretty and like fun.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 01/30/2007 13:19
I play video games to escape real life. why would I want brutal forced labor and a nagging wife?
PITT sauce's Avatar
PITT sauce at 01/30/2007 13:35
This game would be sweet if hot babes were playing it.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar
deiga-the-semivaliant at 01/30/2007 13:43
The cuteness in here is nothing compared to Magical Melody for the GC. That harvest moon was so cute, my eyes bled.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 01/30/2007 13:55
bleeding eyes are cute
CaffeinePowered's Avatar
CaffeinePowered at 01/30/2007 14:17
I loved the SNES/N64 ones, but the one for DS that I bought was definitely not good
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 01/30/2007 16:41
I haven't enjoyed a Harvest Moon game since the SNES version. It's been more of the same since then.
Jecrell's Avatar
Jecrell at 01/30/2007 17:00
I know people that would kill for this game...
You underestimate the obsessed Harvest Moon fans.
Magesx's Avatar
Magesx at 01/30/2007 18:33
I rented the Gamecube version once.

I was pissed at wasting a rental on that shit.
inque's Avatar
inque at 01/30/2007 18:35
Actually our family business deals with raising pigs. If this game can provide me training for artificial insemination (oh the joys of squeezing a pig's penis with the Wiimote!), my dad would buy me a Wii today!
ta0cha0s's Avatar
ta0cha0s at 01/31/2007 04:46
ghey.
Zooma's Avatar
Zooma at 01/31/2007 10:38
Touche Bahamut... Touche
IamBunny's Avatar
IamBunny at 02/11/2008 15:49
I adore this game and will personally kill anyone to get it....... anyone!
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