There's been a lot of petty sniping towards Halo from both the anti-Microsoft crowd and the contrarian, anti-mainstream crowd ever since the pre-release hype for Halo 3 began building up, but absolutely no one, regardless of how tightly they cling to their myopic, childish beliefs, can deny one simple fact: Halo is a brand that sells.

To drive that point home, we bring you news courtesy of GameDaily: it seems that the latest novelization based on the Master Chief's fictional realm has debuted at #3 on the New York Times bestseller list and #23 on the USA Today bestseller list. The novel, entitled Halo: Contact Harvest, is the first book written by (Halo creator and Bungie Studios' lead writer) Joseph Staten.

I'd like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to Mr. Staten for his tremendous achievement here. I remember when my novel, Jurassic Park, hit the NYT list; I was utterly ecstatic. My mother still has a wall covered in news clippings about that book and it's the first thing I tell women about myself when I meet them. Shortly following that, I tell them I drive a tank.  Then I drive over to Michael Crichton's house, steal his tank, and take the ladies for a ride around the neighborhood, pausing only to point out trees that look like small dinosaurs -- like those they might have read about in my novel, Jurassic Park -- and to deep tongue kiss them inappropriately.

The women, not the trees. You can't tongue kiss a tree. 

Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)

Bob Muir

"You can't tongue kiss a tree."

But God knows it's been attempted. This is the internet, after all.

Bob Muir

"You can't tongue kiss a tree."

But God knows it's been attempted. This is the internet, after all.

Xbudz

"You can't tongue kiss a tree."

But God knows it's been attempted. This is the internet, after all.

Yay, this is fun!

pizzaface

Internets are indoors. Trees are outdoors. use your logic.

stevephoenix

trees have holes in them, i believe the saying goes "every hole's a goal"

Knivy

I didn't knew the book was already out. I also didn't knew halo fans were the book reading type.

Google image search: "tongue kiss tree"

9to5

Trees are sluts, everyone knows that. Shedding their seed on the wind, can hit anyone in the face, I mean ANYONE (me). If I did that I would be arrested.

kobewan0824

Fucking hilarious yet informative post, as usual. You're quickly becoming my favorite writer on the site, and that's not something I normally would tell a dude. Why? I don't know, perhaps my own insecurities and whatnot, but that's a different story for a different day.

Seriously though, fucking hilarious.

Xbudz

Attro

Most surprising of all is that Halo fans can read.

Samit Sarkar

I guess people are just desperate for more Halo content. Someone with shoop skills needs to put together an “IT PRINTS MONEY!!!” image with Bill Gates, Master Chief, and the box for Halo 3.

GuitarAtomik

I know hating on Halo has become the new cool thing to do but whatever. It reminds me of the Hot Topic goth kids complaining about everyone dressing like clones.

Anyways, I've read all of the Halo books except this one and Halo: The Flood which just recounts the Halo 1 game and apparently isn't as good as the rest since it's written by a different guy. The books really do flesh out the story that's so non-existent in the games , and it's all canon. You wouldn't even understand Halo 3's Legendary ending unless you've read Ghosts of Onyx (or wiki'd it). Looking forward to reading this eventually.

MaxVest

What?? 23rd??? USA Today is biased, and is giving Halo 3 a low ranking to draw traffic to its so-called newspaper. I think the Gray Lady has it right, because I can't imagine more than two books more deserving of sales than Halo: Contact Harvest.

topgeargorilla

it's called dendrophelia.

Geeze, learn your shit, Nex.

king3vbo

Eeew Halo books

Daniel Husky Lingen

yeah i like how few people actually consider one thought; the book might be good. god forbid a good game has a good book.

Also, Nex..... what the fuck

Sharpless

@GuitarAtomik
You should still read The Flood. It isn't as good as the others, but it helps flesh out the first game and give it more depth. I still haven't read the last two books. I need to get on that.

Fading Star

Well, good for them. MONEY!

PetiePal

And remember that's DINO-D-N-A!

Darren Nakamura

I didn't even realize a new Halo book had come out. Why didn't you guys let me know about this? I've got the other four books, I'll probably go and pick this one up now.