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Halo for your wang. No, seriously. photo

Already preordered your copy of Halo 3? Decorated your fridge with fan art of Master Chief? Bought a tent to camp out in while you wait in line for Best Buy to open, which you have decorated with puff paint versions of the Halo logo? Go no further. This product was made for you, my friend.

The Halo 3 condom comes in a discreet orange packaging and encourages you to "Finish the f*ck". Can you imagine telling your friends that you banged a chick wearing a Halo condom? Would they be orange, or a nice army green to keep your sausage well disguised while dashing through the jungle? Sadly we'll never know, because the item isn't a real manufactured product, but a total internet matlock on those of us willing to buy any piece of merchandise with a Halo logo. I'd laugh, but then I'd have to justify my Final Fantasy collection.

[Thanks Mabec!] 


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next 50 comments

54 comments | showing # 1 to 50

AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 12:58
AngelsDontBurn
Zero!

Also lol!
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 12:59
AngelsDontBurn
Oh and thank god it isn't a real manufactured product. If it were, I would be concerned about humanity... Even more so.
bhive01's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:02
bhive01
Finish the Fuck. Unload your flood.
Kotua's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:03
Kotua
Funny the article below this one is about Mass effect.
Holzmiento's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:04
Holzmiento
Game Fuel is an aphrodisiac.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:04
AgentMOO
Protect your ovaries from the flood!
wtfblakegtfo's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:07
wtfblakegtfo
lmaoz, but seriously fuck halo
Garbz's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:12
Garbz
lol

awesome.
mackisawesome's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:13
mackisawesome
there are soo many things rong with that...
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:15
BahamutZero
wouldn't that just be a cock ring?
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:18
BahamutZero
I can picture the scene now: Alpha Sigma Epsilon basement, initiation occurs stage left. lights are dim, we can make out three figures in the murky darkness, as their words float over to the audience

"Just put it on, ok"

"Dude, it's dark, I can't see anything. Are you sure it's ok?"

"FUCK YEAH dude, it's fucking halo. That makes it totally not gay."
Catalyst's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:21
Catalyst
If you refer to your penis as the "Spartan Laser" like I do, then this thing just kicks it up a notch.
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:26
Riser Glen
Regenerating spermicide. Double-bag for Overshield. Active Camo for avoiding spooning. Comes in 3 sizes: Grunt, Elite and Brute.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:30
wardrox
Are there only seven?
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:31
BigPopaGamer
Collete I love you.

Also, I love it when they call me Master Chief. Oh yeah. Bowychickabowwow.
Knives's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:35
Knives
For a second i thought it was real.
SlavedHeart's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:36
SlavedHeart
Ya know, I'm disappointed... I came in this thread looking for immature humor better than this...

Heavenly Sword is an easy one... how about mario rubbers? Keep you from getting the koopa's... or how about HalfLife Condoms, to protect your crowbar?

This is the level of immaturity I had hoped to find... not all this... discussion... pew
asterick's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:37
asterick
*repressing horrible image of master chief*
flanflan's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:38
flanflan
That is awesome!
entrager's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:40
entrager
It holds back the "Pew pew pew."

Wait... I'm not done yet...

I thought Halo was all about shooting your gun without restraint!
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:41
blehman
@bahamaut: lol

When your master goes beyond bation, choose the chief.

meh, that's all I got.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:43
Snaileb
NOOOO!!

You forgot to call them Spartans instead of Trojans!

:(
Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:44
Namelessted
Who needs Trojan condoms when you can use Spartan condoms. fuck yeah
SlavedHeart's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:47
SlavedHeart
Used... tie the end off...

Didn't you always wonder WHAT was inside a thermonuclear detonator?

Now you know...
Fuzzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:48
Fuzzy
Usually I end up finishing the fight way too fast. Then come the softly falling tears.
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:50
atheistium
they nearly made some serious cash but failed because it wasnt real :(
Puppetpallmich's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:51
Puppetpallmich
i hope they come in master chief size
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:53
Kryptinite
wonder do they have the magnum. Or even the spartan laser size.
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:54
KyleGamgee
Srsly, I would have bought some.
mooboy's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 13:58
mooboy
Why would i need a condom, my personal shield will protect me.
Holiday's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:02
Holiday
I'm wondering if this is not some attempt to keep nerdy gamers from procreating. It's a conspiracy!!!
shadowcast's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:13
shadowcast
Jeebus I thought that was real for a second there... wouldn't surprise me if it was either.
Mabec's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:13
Mabec
[url=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234704/quotes
]Whoooo wanna some Wang[/url]
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:13
Cheeburga
I want like, 100.
Mabec's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:14
Mabec
dammit, noob-bbcode
bottled dark's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:21
bottled dark
does it come with genocide causing pleasure rings?
JesusXP's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:24
JesusXP
Like 90% of Halo fans will ever need to use one!

"Finish the Fuck" - yeah, too quickly I bet
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:47
Mxyzptlk
I'm sure Jack Thompson has something to say about this.
iRaf 's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:54
iRaf
hah.
sushi111's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 14:56
sushi111
I guess now I dont need to hold down the X button to release my euipment!

*drum roll*
Steel Frog's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 15:11
Steel Frog
Damn, I had my credit card ready for a Costco-sized order.
Husky Hog's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 15:36
Husky Hog
Oh fuckin nice!
RskimB's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 15:56
RskimB
everyone knows frat boys dont wear condoms
DGX Goggles's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 16:19
DGX Goggles
Real Spartans finish with their shields down. Now where's the brute hammer size one? I would drop some money down for that.
brainderailment's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 16:30
brainderailment
@BahamatZero, best coment evar.

@RskimB: You are correct, frat boys don't have time to put one on when the are busy whippin' up a batch of rufees.
foxhound009's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 17:17
foxhound009
no way.
WastelandTraveler's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 17:45
WastelandTraveler
now if this worked like master chiefs suit and you could flip warthogs with your dick...this would be amazing! hahaha. woww.
Evil Cheese's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 17:58
Evil Cheese
Maybe it's for the fanboys to wear when they camp out so they don't get their pants sticky once they get a hold of a copy. Jeebus knows nobody is getting laid after whipping one of those things out.
BADInc's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 18:12
BADInc
a halo for your cock
Dutch's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 18:36
Dutch
You all can still buy a regular trojan and write "Brute" on it with a sharpie or something, don't feel so bad!
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