Oasis string plucker Noel Gallagher is at it again, sharing his expert opinion on videogames. A while back, he decided to blame knife crime on games, and now he's summed up Guitar Hero in the only way he knows how -- rudely.
"It's better than two goblins trying to f**k a donkey up the arse with a laser beam," stated the musician and former drug fiend, suggesting that Guitar Hero was at least superior to traditionally violent titles. "When I meet kids I always say to them playing a guitar is not a f*cking videogame, there is no level to get to. You'll never master it and you'll never complete the game."
Gallagher of course has never played Guitar Hero or even heard of it until recently, despite an Oasis song appearing in World Tour. His obsession with goblins raping people with lasers is a bit worrying too. This is the second time he's talked about being f*cked up the arse with that particular tool, as he expressed similar sentiments the last time Guitar Hero was discussed ... the Guitar Hero he now claims he's not heard of until now.
I think the coke's fried his brains.
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
6:40 PM on 01.27.2009
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Who the fuck lets this guy near their kids?
Let me repeat that.
We need a drawing of two goblins trying to fuck a donkey up the ass with a laser beam.
You know, for rhetorical effect. Or something like that.
Now that's a game I would totally buy.
HOWEVER! Guitar HERO playing is totally a video game.
I saw how some other blogs were putting it and made sure it has the correct context, which it has. He said guitar playing isn't a fucking videogames, and that Guitar Hero was at least better than goblin arse fucking. That's pretty much the story.
Yawn.
Let me repeat that.
We need a drawing of two goblins trying to fuck a donkey up the ass with a laser beam.[/i]
It's not very good. Or to scale. But I'm pretty sure Mr. Noel Gallagher had this in mind when he spoke those eloquent words:
With the sarcasm switch off~ Guitar Hero is more a simon says, just alot funner to play.
Sterling: Use zombiekiller's drawing any time you even mention Oasis. Like if you where talking about an oasis in a game, like Fuel or something, use zombiekiller's picture.
I think on some deep-down, non-asshole level, that is what Gallagher and people like him are trying to say, but their own personal bullshit gets in the way of the message. Like, he can't just say that he wishes more kids would put some time in to learn to play the guitar, he has to bring issues into the argument that are obviously beyond him.
That and it's just a game too. Let's call a spade a spade here, huh?
So yeah, learning songs on a guitar is a lot like playing games. The more you play the better you get. Silly Noel.
Playing a guitar isn't a fucking video game. there's no points, and there's no bonus level. The only thing you get from it is actually writing music or learning new things on it. The satisfaction of making a melody, or creating harmony with other instruments. No game can create that feeling that playing a real instrument can bring.
I love games. I Dislike these games. I believe it discourages creativity with a real instrument. But that's just my opinion. It would be more of an accomplishment to master playing "Leper Messiah" on your electric guitar with half stack, rather than just pressing buttons in time while the over glorified SIMON game plays the song for you. That's almost like sitting in front of a pneumatic player piano and thinking you've actually played Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata... fucking retarded.
@Niero: I don't think that's his point. You don't really get any sort of reward from learning a song on the guitar... other than a sense of self accomplishment. You are right, the more you play the better you get, however, these games don't teach much about music theory, and from what I can see, they don't give you the same feeling of accomplishment that I felt the day I learned "Seasons in the Abyss" by Slayer on my axe. it's somewhat the same, but one has more valid rewards.. and I'm not talking about a video game screen saying "You rock" I'm talking about you messing around on your instrument (improvising) and one of your family members or friends say "Wow that sounded good, is that a song?" trust me it's tons more rewarding than a pixelated crowd cheering you on... And if you get really good at it you can get paid for it.. but only if you're REALLY good and work REALLY hard at it.
The only thin I see guitar hero and rock band doing is burning more holes in my wallet. Again, I love games, but you can get a real guitar for the price of some of these games and kits, plus there's the added possiblity of making more cash with it.. as opposed to downloading more songs to your system, and paying more money for it.. You can find the sheet music for those songs for free online and learn to play them for real... Geez, talk about squashing potential... You all could be making some killer music with your friends and having ral crowds cheer you on, rather than a virtual one.
Trust me the time and dedication is worth it.. even if you don't become famous and rich from it.
Secondly: Real-Life-Guitar-crybabies: take your elitist super-cool-whine elsewhere. If you honestly believe that games like Guitar Hero are preventing anyone with a serious interest from actually going out and learning a real guitar, here's some advice:
Put down your axe, and go learn something of real value. Get your GED. Find some perspective. Not everyone shares your dream of playing dive bars as a Rage cover band.
Playing guitar is kind of like a game anyway, a bit like those push the buttons at the right time bits in RE4.
If you don't play the right notes at the right time, the song is wrong, you're bad at playing guitar and your Guitarist career dies. You only get good at playing games through practice, you only get good at games through practice.
The major difference is Leon gets continues. Noel is taking the wrong approach really, If he wants people to learn Guitar properly, he should be using the opposite analogy to get people interested.
I mean, people who want to play guitar, or any instrument, will go out and get one and play. The games are not stopping them. If anything, they motivate; ill learn songs or tunes i enjoy playing on the game, but that goes with songs i hear on the radio, or that friends make me listen to, or whatever.
People either play guitar, or they dont. And people play games, or they dont. Its not a big deal.
I've never gotten into them, and kind of glad I haven't. This is just a mass market version of DDR, and you are all that fat kid who's really good at it!
Get some indie to write a song called "Two Goblins Fuck a
Donkey Up The Arse With a Laser Beam" and put it on the next GH/RB game.
Noel Gallagher is richer than every commenting, condescending douche bag in this article that can’t see past the obvious bias in this idiots writing, and he’s absolutely hilarious. When you sell over 70 million records worldwide you can say whatever you like about any topic. For me personally, I’m going to save up until I get enough money to blast every one of you bloody idiots into space. Or maybe I’ll just create you a video game where that event occurs, because obviously you morons perceive video game talent as reality.
http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/nov2009/2/1/liam-gallagher-pic-rex-features-655125242.jpg
Noel Gallagher is richer than every commenting, condescending douche bag in this article that can’t see past the obvious bias in this idiots writing, and he’s absolutely hilarious. When you sell over 70 million records worldwide you can say whatever you like about any topic. For me personally, I’m going to save up until I get enough money to blast every one of you bloody idiots into space. Or maybe I’ll just create you a video game where that event occurs, because obviously you morons perceive video game talent as reality.
http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/nov2009/2/1/liam-gallagher-pic-rex-features-655125242.jpg
Noel Gallagher is richer than every commenting, condescending idiot in this article that can’t see past the obvious bias in this idiots writing, and he’s absolutely hilarious. When you sell over 70 million records worldwide you can say whatever you like about any topic. For me personally, I’m going to save up until I get enough money to blast every one of you bloody idiots into space. Or maybe I’ll just create you a video game where that event occurs, because obviously you morons perceive video game talent as reality.
http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/nov2009/2/1/liam-gallagher-pic-rex-features-655125242.jpg