GTA IV turns you into a pedophile



9:55 AM on 06.16.2008

Another day, another British tabloid finding something in a videogame that has outraged the "great" UK public. This one is an absolute classic, too. In GTA IV, there is a spoof Web site called littlelacysurprisepageant.com, which can be accessed on Liberty City's Internet service. The site is "closed down" by the LCPD, and if you access it, you instantly achieve a five-star wanted level. The Sun has, naturally, found some people that are hilariously over-reacting.

"I was looking on the Internet for cheats and the name of this caught my eye as my daughter is called Lacey," bellowed Jason Deschoolmeester, while steam possibly shot out from his ears. "This crosses the line. The makers have obviously sat around and discussed putting this in, and it’s not on. What will they do next?"

"It’s disgusting. It could lead people to indulge in things like that. It is totally sick. I won’t play it again."

Please read the bolded part. A spoof Web site that contains no pornographic content (the in-game police shut it down) and instantly lands you in trouble could actually TURN YOU INTO A PEDOPHILE, according to this man! I had no idea that parodies could pervert one's entire sexuality, but it looks like I can never play Grand Theft Auto again, lest children everywhere face the wrath of my almighty donking vadgehammer.

So, how many children have you all raped since playing GTA IV?  

[Thanks, Prof. Pew]



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Jim Sterling

Former Reviews Editor